"So do you like her?"
The question caught me completely off guard. I mean, sure, we hang out all the time. And sure, she's tough. Brave. Courageous, strong-Horse Lords, who am I kidding? I know I like her. I've known since I first laid eyes on her, and her strong-willed mindset. She's perfect for me, and yet…
I'm afraid she doesn't like me back. She doesn't flirt; she's almost a tomboy-but than why would she wear those dresses all the time? The boys have been aware for months that she's a girl. And she knows I know. I can only hope she wants to be sure of that fact.
I want to marry her. I'm not kidding. I want to marry her and I've known I wanted to marry her and I will marry her. Except that she has to say yes. And she won't. She is going to be the second lady knight in known history; I have to keep telling myself. What would she want with being tied down? Why would she prefer a quiet home life with children to an exciting career as a knight? Because she's not like that. Because she needs to fly. And Mithros willing, I'll let her.
So how will I tell her? I'm not sure. She almost definitely will balk at the idea of a boyfriend, I can tell you that much. Her personality screams that she doesn't need a man, part of the reason she's so utterly intriguing. Perhaps I will wait around my whole life for her to settle down, finish fighting and saving lives. Or perchance I'll work alongside her, as a fellow knight, and she'll never know. We'll just be the best of friends, as we are now, and nothing will change. That's why it's such a tricky business.
I caught myself doodling on one of my papers today. It was right scary, seeing myself write such things. And yet I had. Neal and Keladry of Queenscove, I scribbled. Neal and Kel Forever. Stuff like that. I'd never live it down if, say, Joren saw it. I could punch him in the face for all the times he's done so to Kel. Of course, if I actually did, and she found out, she'd sock me one. Great Mother Goddess, I love that girl.
