Title: Sweet Contentment II
Author: Corinne Cassandra Valard
Summary: Severus contemplates suicide.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Lily Potter, Dumbledore, and all other Harry Potter affiliated names and places belong to J. K. Rowling.
Severus Snape stared melancholically at the potion ingredients on his shelves.
It would be so easy, he thought morbidly. It could be so easy to make a poison.
He had these spells of depression occasionally, especially when it was storming, and when he was alone, but rarely did his thoughts stray to taking his own life. He had considered suicide during school, but Lily had talked him out of it. Lily, his beautiful Lily, but not his at all. And now she was gone. He had considered suicide when he had lost Lily, but Dumbledore had talked him out of it. Where was Lily? Where was Dumbledore to save him now? They were dead and gone.
Gone to the 'next great adventure' he thought sardonically.
Severus knew he shouldn't do it, and he knew that he probably wouldn't. He had promised Dumbledore. He had responsibilities, to the other professors, to his students, to Lily's son. But why shouldn't he? Dumbledore was gone, his promises were empty. None of his students, or the other professors had ever cared much about him, they wouldn't miss him. The woman he had loved had been dead for twenty years. Her son was not his, what responsibility did he have to that ungrateful brat? What reason did he have to live? Not much, that he could see.
Severus reached for a phial. He would show them, show them all. He was not a coward, they said he was, that he would never go through with it, but he would show them. His sleeve bunched as he reached up on the shelf, revealing the dark mark tattooed on his skin. Another reason to take his life. Not only was his life pointless, it was evil. He didn't deserve to live. The things he had done, the murders, and betrayals. He should just remove his horrid self from the world.
He lifted the phial to his lips, prepared to drink, when he heard a knock at the door.
"No, you're dead, you can't stop me now!" He cried, his voice horse with hatred and fear. He believed that it was Dumbledore, trying to hold him to his vow.
"Severus?"
It was Hermione, now Professor Granger, not Dumbledore at all. She had started teaching Transfigurations after Professor McGonagall had become headmistress. Despite his harsh treatment of her as a student, they had become friends of a sort as colleagues. He didn't answer her, however.
"Severus, are you in there?"
Whatever could she want at this hour? And why did she have to want it now?
"Severus, please let me in, I know you're in there."
He still refused to answer.
"Alohomora," she said, allowing herself entry to the dungeons.
Severus's goal had been delayed as he became lost in his thoughts, but now broken out of his trance, he lifted the phial back to his lips.
"What are you doing, Severus?"
"What do you think? I'm doing something that I should have done twenty years ago."
"Stop this nonsense right now, you're not going to kill yourself." Hermione marched over to him and attempted to take the liquid from him.
"I'm not am I? And why not? I don't deserve to live. But I won't bore you with a list of all my various crimes. You may not realize this, but I'm a great deal taller than you, and you don't have a chance of taking this out of my hand." Severus sneered.
"You seem to have a seriously underrated opinion of my skills." Hermione said softly. "Accio phial."
The phial flew from Severus's hand to Hermione's. She immediately poured the deadly liquid onto the stones of the dungeon floor.
"I can make more of that, you cannot deter me from this. I've made up my mind." Severus said, his voice icy with fury.
"Why, Severus, why do you want to take your life?"
"I have no reason to live."
"Let me be your reason," she replied. She took his face gently in her hands and pressed her lips against his. Shocked, Severus merely stood there, then he felt his lips respond to hers and his arms moved to cup her face. When she opened her eyes again, he could see tears glistening in the corners.
"Are you sure about this, do you really want to be with me?" Severus asked.
"Yes, oh yes," she replied, standing on tiptoe to kiss him again. "Live for me Severus, don't leave me alone."
Fini
Author: Corinne Cassandra Valard
Summary: Severus contemplates suicide.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Lily Potter, Dumbledore, and all other Harry Potter affiliated names and places belong to J. K. Rowling.
Severus Snape stared melancholically at the potion ingredients on his shelves.
It would be so easy, he thought morbidly. It could be so easy to make a poison.
He had these spells of depression occasionally, especially when it was storming, and when he was alone, but rarely did his thoughts stray to taking his own life. He had considered suicide during school, but Lily had talked him out of it. Lily, his beautiful Lily, but not his at all. And now she was gone. He had considered suicide when he had lost Lily, but Dumbledore had talked him out of it. Where was Lily? Where was Dumbledore to save him now? They were dead and gone.
Gone to the 'next great adventure' he thought sardonically.
Severus knew he shouldn't do it, and he knew that he probably wouldn't. He had promised Dumbledore. He had responsibilities, to the other professors, to his students, to Lily's son. But why shouldn't he? Dumbledore was gone, his promises were empty. None of his students, or the other professors had ever cared much about him, they wouldn't miss him. The woman he had loved had been dead for twenty years. Her son was not his, what responsibility did he have to that ungrateful brat? What reason did he have to live? Not much, that he could see.
Severus reached for a phial. He would show them, show them all. He was not a coward, they said he was, that he would never go through with it, but he would show them. His sleeve bunched as he reached up on the shelf, revealing the dark mark tattooed on his skin. Another reason to take his life. Not only was his life pointless, it was evil. He didn't deserve to live. The things he had done, the murders, and betrayals. He should just remove his horrid self from the world.
He lifted the phial to his lips, prepared to drink, when he heard a knock at the door.
"No, you're dead, you can't stop me now!" He cried, his voice horse with hatred and fear. He believed that it was Dumbledore, trying to hold him to his vow.
"Severus?"
It was Hermione, now Professor Granger, not Dumbledore at all. She had started teaching Transfigurations after Professor McGonagall had become headmistress. Despite his harsh treatment of her as a student, they had become friends of a sort as colleagues. He didn't answer her, however.
"Severus, are you in there?"
Whatever could she want at this hour? And why did she have to want it now?
"Severus, please let me in, I know you're in there."
He still refused to answer.
"Alohomora," she said, allowing herself entry to the dungeons.
Severus's goal had been delayed as he became lost in his thoughts, but now broken out of his trance, he lifted the phial back to his lips.
"What are you doing, Severus?"
"What do you think? I'm doing something that I should have done twenty years ago."
"Stop this nonsense right now, you're not going to kill yourself." Hermione marched over to him and attempted to take the liquid from him.
"I'm not am I? And why not? I don't deserve to live. But I won't bore you with a list of all my various crimes. You may not realize this, but I'm a great deal taller than you, and you don't have a chance of taking this out of my hand." Severus sneered.
"You seem to have a seriously underrated opinion of my skills." Hermione said softly. "Accio phial."
The phial flew from Severus's hand to Hermione's. She immediately poured the deadly liquid onto the stones of the dungeon floor.
"I can make more of that, you cannot deter me from this. I've made up my mind." Severus said, his voice icy with fury.
"Why, Severus, why do you want to take your life?"
"I have no reason to live."
"Let me be your reason," she replied. She took his face gently in her hands and pressed her lips against his. Shocked, Severus merely stood there, then he felt his lips respond to hers and his arms moved to cup her face. When she opened her eyes again, he could see tears glistening in the corners.
"Are you sure about this, do you really want to be with me?" Severus asked.
"Yes, oh yes," she replied, standing on tiptoe to kiss him again. "Live for me Severus, don't leave me alone."
Fini
