VOID

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Chapter Three

The In-Between

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May 06, 2004

3:40 am

LUKA OPENED the door and stepped into the apartment that he and Abby had been living in for the past year.  They'd quickly determined, after their engagement, that they wanted to start over in their lives.  Sever most of their past ties.  So, they'd decided to find a new place to live.  A place that would have only their memories.  They'd found the apartment just after they'd come back from their honeymoon.  Luka smiled at the memory of their honeymoon.  They couldn't figure out where to go and neither of them much cared.  Just so long as they were alone and out of County range.  Abby had been the first one to suggest it.

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                "How 'bout Croatia?"  She smiled over at him lovingly.  He just looked at her uncertainly.

          "Croatia?"  She nodded, still smiling.

          "Croatia.  I hear," She spoke as she straddled his lap.  "That it's quite a beautiful site to see.  Beautiful clear Ocean, nice warm beach."  Her eyes were filled with a deep desire as she spoke.  She began placing light kisses along his jaw line.  Luka had to swallow deeply at the feeling.  He could feel her smiling against his skin.  No doubt she had just felt his own desire rising.  Literally.  "What do you say?"

          He didn't say anything.  He picked her up and carried her to their bedroom.

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          After they'd made love Luka had agreed.  They'd go to Croatia but only if they stayed away from the mainland.  They'd chosen the Island of Brac, just out to sea from the city of Split, it was the closest Luka wanted to get to the mainland.  And it was as beautiful as all the information they'd gathered on it said it would be.  Luka was glad they had chosen to go to Croatia.  He now had a happy memory from his new life that he could relate to his home country.  Of course, he had always had a sneaking suspicion that is why Abby had wanted to go there in the first place.

          Bringing himself back to the present Luka sat his keys atop a table near the front door.  He realized then how empty the apartment felt.  It felt like it had been abandoned.  Like it knew that Abby was never coming back and as such a part of its soul had been ripped out.

          "I know how you feel."  He whispered quietly as he walked into the living room.  He chastised himself for it instantly.  He couldn't think that way.  Couldn't believe that.  It would destroy him if he did.  "She's coming back.  She'll be home again.  She will."  He didn't want to sound like he had to convince himself of that so his subconscious decided it was really the apartment he was convincing.  Luka shook his head and laughed dryly at the thought of what he'd just said to an inanimate apartment.

          Luka kept all the lights off as he walked to their bedroom.  He couldn't bring himself to look at everything around him.  He didn't want the memories that were associated with it all.  Abby had decorated this apartment, she'd done it based on both their likes, but she'd still done it.  Most everything in it was put there by her.  He suddenly realized he'd been more fortunate, if you could call it that, when his first family had died.  Their apartment had been destroyed along with their lives.  He'd had no memories to go home to.  Nothing left to remind him of his wife or his children.  Just a bunch of rumble and objects that could barely be recognized due to the devastation.  He had to chastise himself again realizing what he'd just been thinking.  Abby was not going to die.

          As Luka entered their bedroom the emotions grew stronger.  It was no surprise that this room held the most memories.  At least the most precious and intimate memories.  God, he had to stop thinking like this.  She'd come home again and then they'd make even more memories to fill the apartment with.  This place would someday be filled with her presence again.  It'd be filled with happiness and love.  Their happiness, and their love.

          Luka looked at the bed and immediately knew that he'd never get any sleep.  Especially not there.  He'd be better off going into the guestroom that they'd set up for no other reason but to put something in the empty space.  A thought occurred to him and he knew he'd never get any sleep in that room either.  That would have been the baby's room.  The baby that would never be born.  The baby that no longer existed.  He suddenly did feel very tired.  All this emotional stress was getting to be too much.

          He lied down on the bed and tried desperately to ignore the empty space beside him.  It's not like he'd never slept there without her before.  When she worked late then he'd be alone.  Or when he worked late and she worked early he'd go home and sleep for a few hours during the day and still be alone.  But this was completely different.  He hadn't felt this emptiness then.  She'd only been at work.  A phone call away.  She'd be home eventually and then they'd be together again.  But right now she was in a coma and very far away.

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Abby had no perception of time any more.  In fact, wherever she was, she was almost certain time didn't exist.  She looked over at the dark haired man.  He was in his usual spot beneath the palm tree, head leaning back against it as he just sat there staring up at its leaves.  Abby was lying on her side a few feet away from him plucking at the strange grass, trying to decide what was happening to her.  He wasn't giving her many answers.

          Since time didn't exist she wasn't sure how long ago it was that he'd pulled her out of the water.  It seemed a lifetime ago though.  She'd been terrified the second she'd finally gotten out.  She wasn't sure why, she couldn't remember anymore.  Was what she'd seen when she fell into the water been that bad?  Or was it peaceful, yet something she wasn't yet ready to face?  She had a sure knowledge though that whatever it was, it was death.

          "Why pink Abby?"  She looked up and over at her companion.  He was still staring up at the leaves of the tree.

          "What?"  She asked dubiously.

          "The tree," Came his answer as he looked down at her.  "Why is it pink?"  Abby shook her head.

          "How should I know?"  She was no longer fearful of whoever this man really was.  He'd proven to be quite the opposite of harmful and she was rather glad he was there.  She didn't want to be alone.  Actually who she really wanted to be with was her husband.

          "Because it's a part of you.  You created this place.  It's your in-between."  Before Abby could ask exactly what her 'in-between' was, he continued his questions with a childlike interest.  "What does the color pink imply to you?  Does it have any significant meaning in your life?"

          "Shouldn't you know?  I thought you were me."  Abby spoke unenthusiastically as she continued plucking at the grass.  She didn't want to be here.

          "I'm becoming more me now and less you.  That is what you want, or need, so that is what I am becoming."  She looked at him and found him looking at her.  "The pink?"  Abby laughed lightly.  He was definitely persistent if nothing else.

          "It's the color of my nurses uniform."  Abby shrugged.  "I guess that's why it's pink."  He nodded and then looked down at the grass.

          "What about the grass.  Why is it white?"  His enthusiasm was ever present.

          "My husband's a doctor."  She said sadly looking at the grass also.  "His lab coat is white."  Abby thought this was all very odd, if not stupid.  Why a pink tree and white grass to represent these things in her life?  Why not the actual uniform or Luka's coat?  If this all did come from her mind then her mind was a totally messed up place?

          "You miss your husband, don't you?"  Abby looked up miserably.

          "Of course."  She sighed deeply then asked.  "Am I dead?  I'm not gonna have to spent all eternity here with you am I?"

          "Nope, I'll be gone as soon as you are.  As for being dead, well you're not yet.  You're in the in-between right now."

          "What is that exactly?"  Abby was thrilled that he was finally giving her some information.

          "It's a place of your own creation.  A place you go when you're not sure where to go.  It's not really purgatory, cause you're not really close to being dead yet.  It's just a place to come and think.  To figure things out.  Kind of like meditating only far deeper."  His cheerful voice hadn't left him.  Abby wondered how exactly her mind had created someone so happy.

          "Then why's it called the in-between?"  He looked out over the water and Abby followed his gaze.

          "Because there's always a way to die.  Even here.  You may choose not to wake up.  You may want to die."  His voice had suddenly become surprisingly solemn.  He nodded his chin towards the water.  "That's your way out.  Your way to die."  Abby shivered as she looked out over the water.  Suddenly it wasn't quite so beautiful.

          "Well, I've made my decision."  She said setting up and crossing her legs Indian style.  "I want to go home now.  I don't want to die.  I want to be with Luka."  He looked at her sadly and Abby was wishing for the happy him back.

          "Are you sure?"  Abby was about to answer him with a certified 'yes' when the sky suddenly erupted in thunder.  Clouds filled it quickly and the waves of the sea were crashing against each other harshly, yet managing to stay clear of the island.  The once beautiful sunny island was now filled with shadows that terrified her.  She watched in horror as the grass below her turned into a brown color that could only signify it had just died.  She got quickly to her feet and backed up a few steps careful not to fall off the edge and into the ocean again.  She looked up at the tree and watched as its leaves shriveled into nothingness till all that remained was a long trunk coming out of the ground.  Even it looked dead.  She looked over at the man terrified.

          "What's happening?"  She had to yell over the sound of both the thunder and the roaring ocean.  Though everything else seemed to stand in shadows he showed clearly.  His face was the expression of pain as he looked over towards the tree.  Abby had a very bad feeling about what he was looking at.  Nonetheless, her gaze slowly followed his.

          There in the shadows beside the tree was the man that had attacked her.

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7:30

Luka woke up some time later surprised that he had fallen asleep at all.  Rolling over onto his side he looked at the clock.  7:30.  He sat up immediately and got out of bed.  He had to get back to the hospital.  How could he have stayed away for so long?  What if something had happened to Abby?  Luka stopped the thought.  Somebody would have called him.  He knew he could trust Kerry to have made sure of that much.  Abby was just fine.  Well, she was alive anyhow.

          On his way to the bathroom Luka spotted a picture of Abby sitting on top of his dresser.  He remembered the day he'd put it up there.

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          "Great," Abby spoke as she walked into their bedroom in time to see Luka setting a picture of her on top of his tall dresser.  "Just what I want to see every time I walk into this room.  A picture of me."  He looked down at her and smiled.  Then laughed as he reached out and sat his hands gently on her shoulders.

          "Uh, Abby..." He left his words hanging as he gently turned her around.  And from across the room they could both see themselves in a large mirror that hung over a short dresser.  Abby just looked at their image for a moment then let out a laugh.  Music to his ears.

          "Okay, point taken."  His smile broadened as he leaned down a ways and wrapped his arms around her waist.  Still staring at them, or more like her, in the mirror his face turned sober as he whispered softly into her ear.

          "Besides, you're beautiful."  He remembered the first time he'd told her that and wondered if she remembered also.  Her face only grew solemn as she pulled away from him gently.

          "Yeah."  She began walking past him but he hadn't missed her sudden change in attitude.  He grabbed her by the waist lightly and pulled her back to him.

          "Hey."  He turned her to face him and looked down at her.  Her eyes were cast to the floor.  "What's that supposed to mean?"  She looked up at him and smiled.  A fake smile Luka knew.

          "Nothing."

          "Abby."

          "Luka."

          "Abby," Before she could repeat his name again he placed a finger to her lips.  "What did you mean by that Abby?"  The last thing he'd expected from her was a sudden lack of self-confidence.  She shrugged.

          "By what Luka?  I barley said anything."  Did she honestly think he'd believe that her drop in attitude had meant nothing?

          "You are beautiful."  He wasn't sure why but suddenly he wanted to make her believe that.  Or at least believe that he believed it.

          "Okay."  She said and started to walk away again.  Luka reached out and grabbed hold of her arm.  "Look Luka," She suddenly spat out turning to face him.  "I just don't think I'm all that great looking, okay?"  He was taken aback by this.

          "Abby where is this coming from?"  She looked at her feet grimly.

          "I don't know.  I've just been thinking a lot lately about what attracted you to me in the first place."  She looked up and sighed.  "I'm certainly no Carol Hathaway.  And I know your wife was-"

          "Abby stop it."  He wasn't angry, in fact he spoke the words quite softly.  "First of all, you are my wife.  Second, when I first met you I thought you were one of the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen."  He paused and lifted her chin up so that she was forced to look him in the eyes.  "And yeah, I thought you were more attractive then Carol Hathaway."  To his delight she smiled, a real smile.

          "One of?"  She questioned and he laughed.

          "Well, Danijela was beautiful too."  She smiled for a second more before looking back down at the floor as the smile vanished.  "Abby what exactly do you think of yourself?"  She shrugged her shoulders.

          "I don't know.  I mean I don't think I'm ugly or anything.  I just, I'm, well, plain.  To be honest I don't know what you see in me?"

          "Abby you are beautiful and you are anything but plain," He spoke softly, "But that's not why I love you or what first attracted me to you.  It's your personality.  It's who you are inside. You've been through so much in your life, yet still you go into work everyday and help all the people that come through the ER."  Abby quickly interrupted him there.

          "So do you Luka."  Luka smiled but shook his head.

          "You're the nurse Abby.  You're the one that they're always hanging their problems on long after I've left the room.  And you listen to them, no matter how many problems you have in your own life, you sit there and listen to every word they're saying.  It amazes me Abby, it really does."  He paused and then continued, bringing this to a more personal basis.  "That night, when you first showed up at my hotel room, I couldn't believe you were there.  I couldn't believe anybody would care that much.  That's when I knew.  I defiantly had fallen in love with you."  Abby smiled again, another genuine smile and Luka knew that her mood was lifting.

          "Is that why you wouldn't sleep with me that night?  Because I certainly would have let you."  Luka laughed wrapping his arms around her.  "I mean geez Luka, I was practically pulling off your shirt when you stopped me."  She kept talking into his chest, him laughing all the while.  "I don't think there's another man alive who would have stopped me.  Girl shows up at his hotel room, alone, after just one date, starts making out with him.  Hmmm?  Open invitation for sex?   I think so."

          "I could never have done that Abby.  Especially not to you.  Making love with you that soon would have ruined everything."  He smiled but turned more serious.  "Besides I would have feared you'd think it was just unemotional sex and nothing else.  Just a release for me."  Abby looked up at him and smiled.

          "With the way your emotional state was that night, I would have."

          "Point taken."  He leaned down and kissed her.

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          Luka sat the photo back atop the dresser and headed for the bathroom adjoining their bedroom.  He'd shower.  Maybe grab something to eat.  Then head for the hospital.  His wife, he knew, would be there waiting.

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THE END of Chapter 3

END NOTE: Sorry this took so long but I've been waiting till I was sure that FanFiction.net were back on their feet before posting.  I hope you enjoy and please review.

DISCLAIMER: The above was a story of fiction based on characters created and owned by Michael Crichton, NBC and Warner Bros.