VOID

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Chapter Four

Danijela

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ABBY STUMBLED backwards as she watched her attacker advancing towards her.  All the memories of what he'd done to her were playing at her mind.  Terrifying her more then the ocean behind her.  More then the death that it had waiting for her.  She looked around desperately searching for a way out.  Just as the night he'd attacked her, she was stuck.  Nowhere to go, nobody to help her.  And just like that night, she desperately wished that Luka were there.  Suddenly her attacker stopped his advances and stood only a foot in front of her.  He was glaring down at her with cold and sinful eyes.  Eyes she remembered even from a time before he'd attacked her.

        "He's still there Abby.  Your deepest fear, your darkest nightmare.  He's still out there.  Are you sure you want to go back?"  Abby sank to the ground and began to cry.  She didn't ever want to see him again.  She wanted to pretend he didn't exist, that what he'd done to her hadn't happened.

        She thought of Luka and she thought of leaving him.  If she walked into the water behind her nobody would pull her out this time.  That she was sure of.  She'd die and Luka would be alone.  Again.  She didn't want to hurt him.  She didn't want to lose him.  But she didn't want to go back either.

          She wasn't strong enough to face up to everything.  The police would be asking her questions.  The doctors would be asking her questions.  Everybody would want to know if she was all right.  They'd all look at her with pity.  But worse then all of this would be Luka's questions.  He'd want to know what had happened.  He'd want her to talk to him about it and she was certain she couldn't do that.  She didn't want him to know any more then the doctors would have already told him.  Then she thought of the trial.  If her assailant was found there'd be a trial and she'd have to testify.  She'd have to explain what had happened.  She could see her husband's disgusted look already as she started explaining the details of the crime.  He'd be appalled.  He'd never want anything to do with her again.  He'd hate her.  He'd leave her.  She couldn't face that.

        Abby began backing up towards the water.

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May 06 2004

8:20 am

Luka felt all eyes on him the second he'd walked through the emergency room doors.  It was quite obvious they'd all heard of what had happened.  Not that he'd expected they wouldn't have.  When a nurse that works in the ER is rushed there via ambulance the entire hospital is bound to find out.  Their reactions however were not what he'd expected.  Everywhere he turned he didn't see people whispering quietly in a corner while pretending not to be watching him, then hushing up quickly when they saw that he was watching them.  Instead all he got were looks of sympathy and sorrow, an almost equally disturbing reaction.  He had never like it when people pitied him.  But at lease, Luka thought, they were not gossiping about the attack.  They were respecting Abby.

        "Hello Dr. Kovac."  Luka smiled down at Chen but kept on walking.  He just wanted off of this floor.  Spotting the reason he was in the ER, Luka began quickly walking towards admit where Kerry stood looking over some charts.

        "Hey, Luka!"  Luka closed his eyes briefly and sighed.  He knew that voice well.  Turning around somewhat unwillingly he found John Carter racing up to him.  The younger doctor stopped in front of Luka and looked up at him with concern revealed in his eyes.  "How you doing?"  Luka was taken aback.  He hadn't expected this.  How is Abby?  Is she okay?  Will she be all right?  Those questions he had been prepared for.  Those questions he could answer.  But how was he?  He didn't really know.

        "I'm fine Carter."  Luka lied and continued his journey towards admit.  Vaguely he heard Carter calling after him but chose to ignore it.  He wasn't sure why Carter had even asked that question.  It was no hospital secret that the two doctors did not get along very well, or at all.  They had one thing in common though.  They were both in love with the same woman.

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        "Luka?"

        "Hm?"  Had been his only reply.  He was already half asleep.  Leave it to Abby to choose this moment to decide to finally confess to what had been bothering her all day.  He felt her shift on the bed but didn't open his eyes.

        "Can I tell you something?"  Her voice sounded small, like a child's.  She was uncertain of whether or not she should tell him whatever it was she wanted to tell him.  He for one just wanted her to get it over with so that he could sleep.  He had an early shift the next morning.

        "Sure, why not."  It was only one in the morning.  Luka resisted the urge to turn over and face his back to her.  He didn't mean to be a jerk but he really was tired and he had, after all, been trying to get her to open up to him all day.  He settled for keeping his eyes closed as he felt the comfort of sleep drift closer.

        "I love you."  His eyes sprang wide open and he looked up at her in shock.  Had she really just said that?  Had he been hearing things?  Wishful thinking maybe.  She was lying on her side beside him looking over at him with an expression that confirmed she really had just spoken those words.

        "What?"  His voice wouldn't allow for anything else.

        "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have said... I'm sorry.  Forget I said anything."  Luka propped himself up on one arm while reaching out with the other to grab her by the waist gently, preventing her from moving away as he knew she had just been about to do.  He was totally astounded.  He had never expected Abby would be the first to admit to these feelings.  In fact he had been certain he'd have to practically force them out of her if they were there at all.  He had suspected she was in love with him, but had never been certain of it.

        He quickly pulled himself back together and pushed the shock away.  He watched her bottom lip begin to tremble then a tear slipped down her cheek.  He reached out and wiped it quickly away.

        "Why are you crying?"  He whispered softly.  She looked at him sadly.

        "I don't want to lose you."  Her voice was so soft he had to strain to hear it.

        "Why would you lose me Abby?"  A few more silent tears fell from her eyes.

        "Because of what I just said.  Because I know you don't feel that way."  Luka's heart broke.  Did she really think that?

        "You think I don't love you?"  She nodded and he wiped a few more tears away.  This time he allowed his hand to stay a little longer to caress her cheek.  "Abby what kind of man would I be if I dated you for nearly a year and had no true feelings for you?"  Her expression was that of total surprise.  Almost as his had been a few moments earlier.  She laughed slightly.

          "I guess that's true."  He laughed also and pulled her head gently towards his.

        "I love you Abby.  I really, really do."  Their lips met just as his last word was spoken.  It would be a short kiss though.  Abby pulled away from him slightly and he could tell something was still bothering her.  There was more to this.

        "What is it Abby?"  She looked down at the bed and started fiddling with the sheets between them.

        "Don't get mad."

        "I won't."  Luka assured her.

        "Carter told me today that..." Her words trailed off.  He didn't like where this was going.  He hated sentences that began with Carter or John.  Still he had to push forward as he knew this had been bothering her all day.  Besides he didn't really perceive Carter as a threat anymore.  Abby had just confessed her love to him.  He didn't think he had anything to be jealous of anymore.

        "What did he tell you Abby?"  Suddenly he knew the answer even before she'd spoken it.

        "That he loves me."  She looked back up at him.  "That he's in love with me."  He'd lied.  He was angry.  The evidence must have shown on his face.

        "You said you wouldn't get mad."  Abby reminded him.  But how could he not?  Another man had just told his girlfriend that he was in love with her.  He supposed the situation would be different if that other man hadn't known that she was his girlfriend.

        "Luka it doesn't even matter."  He begged to differ.  "I love you not him.  And I told him this."  Still something more played at Luka's mind.

        "Then why is this bothering you?"  He didn't want to be accusative but he had to know the answer.  If she didn't love him then why did it matter enough to bother her so much.

        "It just hurts, that's all."  Luka was clueless.

        "What?"

        "He was my best friend.  Well, you're my best friend, but you know.  And I thought that he cared about me as a friend.  Now it sounds like he doesn't want anything to do with me if I don't play along and become more then just his friend."  She was clearly in a lot of anguish over this and Luka felt extreme anger towards Carter for doing this to her.  Like she didn't already have enough demons running after her.

        "Abby."  He brought her head to his chest and lied down against the bed, holding her tightly.  "What did he say when you said you weren't in love with him?"

        "I told him that I loved you and he said that I'd never be happy and then he just walked away."  Quite conceited of Carter to presume that she'd be unhappy with Luka but happy with him.  "I'm sure he was just angry.  It just really hurts.  I hope he and I can still be friends somehow."

        "I do too Abby.  I really do."  And that was the truth.

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        Luka wondered if John was indeed still in love with Abby.  It had been three years since that conversation had taken place between him and Abby.  Though Abby had never mentioned it again he had watched as she and Carter slowly grew to being friends again.  He was happy for her.  Though he never cared much for Carter and never particularly wanted him around Abby it was evident that she still needed him as a friend.  And that Luka could live with.  As long as it made Abby happy and certainly appeared to do just that.

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        "I just want you two to get along."

        "We get along."  Luka stood before the kitchen sink draining some pasta into it as Abby sat atop the counter beside the sink.  His worst nightmare was about to come true.  He was having a quite dinner at home with his fiancĂ© and a man who had once confessed to being in love with her.

        "Luka you hate him."  Luka thought about this for a moment and quietly admitted to himself that, yes, he probably did hate John Carter.

        "I don't hate him Abby."

        "Yes you do."  Her words sounded so pitiful that Luka couldn't help but give a small smile.  He directed it towards the sink hoping she wouldn't notice.  She did.

        "What's so funny?"

        "I just don't see why you want us to get along anyways.  Everything's always worked out just fine the way it is."

        "You mean how every time I want to have a conversation with Carter I have to practically go behind your back to do it."  Luka sighed and sat the drainer down inside the sink.  He walked over and stood before Abby.

        "I don't care when you and Carter hang out.  It doesn't bother me."  She gave him her continued pitiful look.

        "I know."

        "So what's bothering you so much?"  He brought his hand up and gently caressed her check.

        "You're about to become my husband Luka.  And Carter is my friend, my very good friend.  I'd just like the two of you to get along is all."  She took his hand from her check and held it in her lap.  He smiled at her with his most genuine smile.

        "Alright, since I got the girl I will now try and get along with him."  Abby laughed and Luka wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him.  He leaned in and began kissing her neck.

        "How long till he gets here?"  Luka asked against her skin.  He felt Abby take in a deep breath.

        "One hour."  His hands began to roam the front of her body.  "God, Luka stop this."  She didn't sound at all like she really wanted him to stop.

        "We could probably manage something in one hour."  His right hand found its destination as he cupped her breast gently.

        "Yeah, we could finish dinner."  With that she pulled his hand away from her and pushed him away a little.  He didn't go easily as he touched her lips with his.

        "We'll do that later."  He said softly against her mouth.

        "We won't have time latter and I don't really want to tell Carter that we couldn't finish dinner because we were too busy making love.  Do you?"  Luka laughed and brought his hand back to its exploration.

        "Yes, actually I would very much like to tell him that."

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        "Kerry?"  Kerry looked up and gave Luka a gentle smile.

        "How are you doing Luka?"  He ignored the question.  It wasn't important.  Why were they asking it?

        "Can we talk?"  Kerry nodded her head, she understood.  He was relieved.

        "I think we need to.  Come on."  As Kerry led him away from admit Luka could still feel all eyes on him.  It was an uncomfortable feeling.  One he could defiantly do without.  Yet the eyes continued to watch them until the lounge door swung shut blocking their view.  They were all probably wondering what was going to be discussed, all the while knowing what was going to be discussed.

        The first thing Kerry did was walk over to the coffee pot.  He watched as she slowly poured herself a cup and, equally slowly, began preparing it the way she liked.  Normally this would have irritated him.  It always did.  People who took their sweet time before finally telling you the bad news.  The news that was going to change your whole world.  Today though her lack of speed was welcoming.  He didn't want to hear the news.  Though he already knew what was going to be discussed, as it had been discussed previously, he still did not want in confirmed.  Not through medical means, not through any means.

        All to soon Kerry's delay was over and her coffee was ready to be drunk.  She walked over and sat down at the lounge table, indicating for him to do the same.  Hesitantly he did.

        "The rape kit came back positive Luka."  Luka had known it would but the verification of it out loud still brought him more pain.  A tear found a path down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away.  "There was only one sample of DNA found though, more then likely it belongs to you.  We will have to run a blood test on you to prove it."  Luka only nodded.

        The assailant had used protection.  Of this he was only half relieved.  There was much less chance of Abby having contracted any STDs through him.  But now there was also less chance of finding the monster that had done this to her.  What if they did find him but had no real evidence against him?  DNA would have been their strongest link and there was no chance of this.  Luka shook the thoughts out of his head.  He didn't care.  As much as he wanted this man to be caught, Abby's physical well being mattered to him most.  And for the first time Luka realized that that really was much more important to him then revenge.

        "We of course still did all the STD prevention stuff.  Gave her all the pills, ran all the tests.  There's no chance of pregnancy..." Kerry must have realized what she was saying as her voice went suddenly soft.  No, Luka thought bitterly, there was no change this monster had created life, he'd only destroyed it.

        "So we skipped that test."  Kerry continued passing the subject quickly.  "We did another head CT this morning and everything still appeared to be normal.  Benton checked her out again and said that everything, as far as her surgery went, was looking great.  She also has some pretty bad bruising on her abdomen, back, arms, and legs but…"

        "Thoroughness," Luka cut her off, his eyes were brimming with unshed tears.  "Is really not needed right now Kerry.  I don't want to hear this."  Kerry looked at him sadly.

        "But you need to hear it Luka.  You need to know."  A few tears escaped his eyes and Luka immediately wiped at them.  He wanted to see Abby.

        "I'm going to go upstairs now.  I need to see her."  Kerry nodded her head in understanding.

        "She's gonna be okay Luka.  It'll take some time but she will be okay.  Abby's strong, she'll pull through this."  Luka nodded and stood up.  He only wished he felt as confident as she sounded.  Besides, Luka thought, even if Abby did get through this, would he?

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Abby could feel the water touching her fingertips as she neared closer and closer to it.  Everything would be over soon and she'd be free from these heinous memories.  She only wished she'd been able to say goodbye to Luka.  Somewhere in her heart she knew that her death would destroy him.  But right now her mind was seeing only one thing.  Him walking away from her, saying that she was no longer good enough to be his wife.  He'd hate her.  He'd be disgusted by her and she couldn't face that.  She certainly couldn't face a life without him in it.  The water was closer now, she could almost feel herself growing weaker.

        A hand reached out and touched Abby lightly on the shoulder.  It wasn't her companion from earlier, she could tell that much.  Abby looked up and at the new arrival on the island.  There, before her, stood a most beautiful woman.

        The woman had dark hair that hung just passed her shoulders and compassionate brown eyes.  She wore a long blue dress that went down to her ankles and snug to her body just perfectly.  Everything about this woman appeared to be perfect.  Like she was real, but not really.  That's when Abby finally realized that she recognized this woman.  She recognized her from a picture.  A picture that was still in her husband's wallet today.

        This woman that stood before her was Danijela.

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THE END of Chapter 4

Acknowledgments: I'd like to thank! everyone who has so far reviewed this story.  You have no idea what your reviews mean to me.  Really, without them I'd never be able to continue my writing. :)  I love them!  Thank you all so much!

DISCLAIMER: The above was a story of fiction based on characters created and owned by Michael Crichton and NBC.