-
- -
Chapter Four
Danijela
-
- -
ABBY STUMBLED backwards as she watched her
attacker advancing towards her. All the
memories of what he'd done to her were playing at her mind. Terrifying her more then the ocean behind
her. More then the death that it had
waiting for her. She looked around
desperately searching for a way out.
Just as the night he'd attacked her, she was stuck. Nowhere to go, nobody to help her. And just like that night, she desperately
wished that Luka were there. Suddenly
her attacker stopped his advances and stood only a foot in front of her. He was glaring down at her with cold and
sinful eyes. Eyes she remembered even
from a time before he'd attacked her.
"He's
still there Abby. Your deepest fear,
your darkest nightmare. He's still out
there. Are you sure you want to go
back?" Abby sank to the ground and
began to cry. She didn't ever want to
see him again. She wanted to pretend he
didn't exist, that what he'd done to her hadn't happened.
She
thought of Luka and she thought of leaving him. If she walked into the water behind her nobody would pull her out
this time. That she was sure of. She'd die and Luka would be alone. Again.
She didn't want to hurt him. She
didn't want to lose him. But she didn't
want to go back either.
She wasn't strong enough to face up to everything. The police would be asking her
questions. The doctors would be asking
her questions. Everybody would want to
know if she was all right. They'd all
look at her with pity. But worse then
all of this would be Luka's questions.
He'd want to know what had happened.
He'd want her to talk to him about it and she was certain she couldn't
do that. She didn't want him to know
any more then the doctors would have already told him. Then she thought of the trial. If her assailant was found there'd be a
trial and she'd have to testify. She'd
have to explain what had happened. She
could see her husband's disgusted look already as she started explaining the
details of the crime. He'd be
appalled. He'd never want anything to
do with her again. He'd hate her. He'd leave her. She couldn't face that.
Abby
began backing up towards the water.
- -
- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - -
May 06 2004
8:20 am
Luka felt all eyes on him the
second he'd walked through the emergency room doors. It was quite obvious they'd all heard of what had happened. Not that he'd expected they wouldn't
have. When a nurse that works in the ER
is rushed there via ambulance the entire hospital is bound to find out. Their reactions however were not what he'd
expected. Everywhere he turned he
didn't see people whispering quietly in a corner while pretending not to be
watching him, then hushing up quickly when they saw that he was watching
them. Instead all he got were looks of
sympathy and sorrow, an almost equally disturbing reaction. He had never like it when people pitied
him. But at lease, Luka thought, they
were not gossiping about the attack.
They were respecting Abby.
"Hello
Dr. Kovac." Luka smiled down at
Chen but kept on walking. He just
wanted off of this floor. Spotting the
reason he was in the ER, Luka began quickly walking towards admit where Kerry
stood looking over some charts.
"Hey,
Luka!" Luka closed his eyes
briefly and sighed. He knew that voice
well. Turning around somewhat
unwillingly he found John Carter racing up to him. The younger doctor stopped in front of Luka and looked up at him
with concern revealed in his eyes.
"How you doing?" Luka
was taken aback. He hadn't expected
this. How is Abby? Is she okay? Will she be all right?
Those questions he had been prepared for. Those questions he could answer.
But how was he? He didn't really
know.
"I'm
fine Carter." Luka lied and
continued his journey towards admit.
Vaguely he heard Carter calling after him but chose to ignore it. He wasn't sure why Carter had even asked
that question. It was no hospital
secret that the two doctors did not get along very well, or at all. They had one thing in common though. They were both in love with the same woman.
- - - -
"Luka?"
"Hm?" Had been his only reply. He was already half asleep. Leave it to Abby to choose this moment to
decide to finally confess to what had been bothering her all day. He felt her shift on the bed but didn't open
his eyes.
"Can
I tell you something?" Her voice
sounded small, like a child's. She was
uncertain of whether or not she should tell him whatever it was she wanted to
tell him. He for one just wanted her to
get it over with so that he could sleep.
He had an early shift the next morning.
"Sure,
why not." It was only one in the
morning. Luka resisted the urge to turn
over and face his back to her. He
didn't mean to be a jerk but he really was tired and he had, after all, been
trying to get her to open up to him all day.
He settled for keeping his eyes closed as he felt the comfort of sleep
drift closer.
"I
love you." His eyes sprang wide open
and he looked up at her in shock. Had
she really just said that? Had he been
hearing things? Wishful thinking maybe. She was lying on her side beside him looking
over at him with an expression that confirmed she really had just spoken those
words.
"What?" His voice wouldn't allow for anything else.
"I'm
sorry. I shouldn't have said... I'm
sorry. Forget I said
anything." Luka propped himself up
on one arm while reaching out with the other to grab her by the waist gently,
preventing her from moving away as he knew she had just been about to do. He was totally astounded. He had never expected Abby would be the
first to admit to these feelings. In
fact he had been certain he'd have to practically force them out of her if they
were there at all. He had suspected she
was in love with him, but had never been certain of it.
He
quickly pulled himself back together and pushed the shock away. He watched her bottom lip begin to tremble
then a tear slipped down her cheek. He
reached out and wiped it quickly away.
"Why
are you crying?" He whispered
softly. She looked at him sadly.
"I
don't want to lose you." Her voice
was so soft he had to strain to hear it.
"Why
would you lose me Abby?" A few
more silent tears fell from her eyes.
"Because
of what I just said. Because I know you
don't feel that way." Luka's heart
broke. Did she really think that?
"You
think I don't love you?" She
nodded and he wiped a few more tears away.
This time he allowed his hand to stay a little longer to caress her cheek. "Abby what kind of man would I be if I
dated you for nearly a year and had no true feelings for you?" Her expression was that of total surprise. Almost as his had been a few moments
earlier. She laughed slightly.
"I guess that's true." He laughed also and pulled her head gently
towards his.
"I
love you Abby. I really, really
do." Their lips met just as his
last word was spoken. It would be a
short kiss though. Abby pulled away
from him slightly and he could tell something was still bothering her. There was more to this.
"What
is it Abby?" She looked down at
the bed and started fiddling with the sheets between them.
"Don't
get mad."
"I
won't." Luka assured her.
"Carter
told me today that..." Her words trailed off. He didn't like where this was going. He hated sentences that began with Carter or John. Still he had to push forward as he knew this
had been bothering her all day. Besides
he didn't really perceive Carter as a threat anymore. Abby had just confessed her love to him. He didn't think he had anything to be
jealous of anymore.
"What
did he tell you Abby?" Suddenly he
knew the answer even before she'd spoken it.
"That
he loves me." She looked back up
at him. "That he's in love with
me." He'd lied. He was angry. The evidence must have shown on his face.
"You
said you wouldn't get mad." Abby
reminded him. But how could he
not? Another man had just told his
girlfriend that he was in love with her.
He supposed the situation would be different if that other man hadn't
known that she was his girlfriend.
"Luka
it doesn't even matter." He begged
to differ. "I love you not
him. And I told him this." Still something more played at Luka's mind.
"Then
why is this bothering you?" He
didn't want to be accusative but he had to know the answer. If she didn't love him then why did it
matter enough to bother her so much.
"It
just hurts, that's all." Luka was
clueless.
"What?"
"He
was my best friend. Well, you're my
best friend, but you know. And I
thought that he cared about me as a friend.
Now it sounds like he doesn't want anything to do with me if I don't
play along and become more then just his friend." She was clearly in a lot of anguish over
this and Luka felt extreme anger towards Carter for doing this to her. Like she didn't already have enough demons
running after her.
"Abby." He brought her head to his chest and lied
down against the bed, holding her tightly.
"What did he say when you said you weren't in love with him?"
"I
told him that I loved you and he said that I'd never be happy and then he just
walked away." Quite conceited of
Carter to presume that she'd be unhappy with Luka but happy with him. "I'm sure he was just angry. It just really hurts. I hope he and I can still be friends somehow."
"I
do too Abby. I really do." And that was the truth.
- - - -
Luka
wondered if John was indeed still in love with Abby. It had been three years since that conversation had taken place
between him and Abby. Though Abby had
never mentioned it again he had watched as she and Carter slowly grew to being
friends again. He was happy for
her. Though he never cared much for
Carter and never particularly wanted him around Abby it was evident that she
still needed him as a friend. And that
Luka could live with. As long as it
made Abby happy and certainly appeared to do just that.
- - - -
"I
just want you two to get along."
"We
get along." Luka stood before the
kitchen sink draining some pasta into it as Abby sat atop the counter beside the
sink. His worst nightmare was about to
come true. He was having a quite dinner
at home with his fiancé and a man who had once confessed to being in love with
her.
"Luka
you hate him." Luka thought about
this for a moment and quietly admitted to himself that, yes, he probably did
hate John Carter.
"I
don't hate him Abby."
"Yes
you do." Her words sounded so
pitiful that Luka couldn't help but give a small smile. He directed it towards the sink hoping she
wouldn't notice. She did.
"What's
so funny?"
"I
just don't see why you want us to get along anyways. Everything's always worked out just fine the way it is."
"You
mean how every time I want to have a conversation with Carter I have to
practically go behind your back to do it." Luka sighed and sat the drainer down inside the sink. He walked over and stood before Abby.
"I
don't care when you and Carter hang out.
It doesn't bother me." She
gave him her continued pitiful look.
"I
know."
"So
what's bothering you so much?" He
brought his hand up and gently caressed her check.
"You're
about to become my husband Luka. And
Carter is my friend, my very good friend.
I'd just like the two of you to get along is all." She took his hand from her check and held it
in her lap. He smiled at her with his
most genuine smile.
"Alright,
since I got the girl I will now try and get along with him." Abby laughed and Luka wrapped his arms
around her waist and pulled her towards him.
He leaned in and began kissing her neck.
"How
long till he gets here?" Luka
asked against her skin. He felt Abby
take in a deep breath.
"One
hour." His hands began to roam the
front of her body. "God, Luka stop
this." She didn't sound at all
like she really wanted him to stop.
"We
could probably manage something in one hour." His right hand found its destination as he cupped her breast
gently.
"Yeah,
we could finish dinner." With that
she pulled his hand away from her and pushed him away a little. He didn't go easily as he touched her lips
with his.
"We'll
do that later." He said softly
against her mouth.
"We
won't have time latter and I don't really want to tell Carter that we couldn't
finish dinner because we were too busy making love. Do you?" Luka
laughed and brought his hand back to its exploration.
"Yes,
actually I would very much like to tell him that."
- - - -
"Kerry?" Kerry looked up and gave Luka a gentle
smile.
"How
are you doing Luka?" He ignored
the question. It wasn't important. Why were they asking it?
"Can
we talk?" Kerry nodded her head,
she understood. He was relieved.
"I
think we need to. Come on." As Kerry led him away from admit Luka could
still feel all eyes on him. It was an
uncomfortable feeling. One he could
defiantly do without. Yet the eyes
continued to watch them until the lounge door swung shut blocking their
view. They were all probably wondering
what was going to be discussed, all the while knowing what was going to be
discussed.
The
first thing Kerry did was walk over to the coffee pot. He watched as she slowly poured herself a
cup and, equally slowly, began preparing it the way she liked. Normally this would have irritated him. It always did. People who took their sweet time before finally telling you the
bad news. The news that was going to
change your whole world. Today though
her lack of speed was welcoming. He
didn't want to hear the news. Though he
already knew what was going to be discussed, as it had been discussed
previously, he still did not want in confirmed. Not through medical means, not through any means.
All to soon
Kerry's delay was over and her coffee was ready to be drunk. She walked over and sat down at the lounge
table, indicating for him to do the same.
Hesitantly he did.
"The
rape kit came back positive Luka."
Luka had known it would but the verification of it out loud still
brought him more pain. A tear found a
path down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away. "There was only one sample of DNA found though, more then
likely it belongs to you. We will have
to run a blood test on you to prove it."
Luka only nodded.
The assailant
had used protection. Of this he was
only half relieved. There was much less
chance of Abby having contracted any STDs through him. But now there was also less chance of
finding the monster that had done this to her.
What if they did find him but had no real evidence against him? DNA would have been their strongest link and
there was no chance of this. Luka shook
the thoughts out of his head. He didn't
care. As much as he wanted this man to
be caught, Abby's physical well being mattered to him most. And for the first time Luka realized that
that really was much more important to him then revenge.
"We of
course still did all the STD prevention stuff.
Gave her all the pills, ran all the tests. There's no chance of pregnancy..." Kerry must have realized
what she was saying as her voice went suddenly soft. No, Luka thought bitterly, there was no change this monster had
created life, he'd only destroyed it.
"So we
skipped that test." Kerry
continued passing the subject quickly.
"We did another head CT this morning and everything still appeared
to be normal. Benton checked her out
again and said that everything, as far as her surgery went, was looking
great. She also has some pretty bad
bruising on her abdomen, back, arms, and legs but…"
"Thoroughness,"
Luka cut her off, his eyes were brimming with unshed tears. "Is really not needed right now
Kerry. I don't want to hear this." Kerry looked at him sadly.
"But you
need to hear it Luka. You need to
know." A few tears escaped his
eyes and Luka immediately wiped at them.
He wanted to see Abby.
"I'm
going to go upstairs now. I need to see
her." Kerry nodded her head in
understanding.
"She's
gonna be okay Luka. It'll take some
time but she will be okay. Abby's
strong, she'll pull through this."
Luka nodded and stood up. He
only wished he felt as confident as she sounded. Besides, Luka thought, even if Abby did get through this, would
he?
- - - - -
- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - -
Abby could feel the water touching her
fingertips as she neared closer and closer to it. Everything would be over soon and she'd be free from these
heinous memories. She only wished she'd
been able to say goodbye to Luka.
Somewhere in her heart she knew that her death would destroy him. But right now her mind was seeing only one
thing. Him walking away from her,
saying that she was no longer good enough to be his wife. He'd hate her. He'd be disgusted by her and she couldn't face that. She certainly couldn't face a life without
him in it. The water was closer now,
she could almost feel herself growing weaker.
A
hand reached out and touched Abby lightly on the shoulder. It wasn't her companion from earlier, she
could tell that much. Abby looked up
and at the new arrival on the island.
There, before her, stood a most beautiful woman.
The
woman had dark hair that hung just passed her shoulders and compassionate brown
eyes. She wore a long blue dress that
went down to her ankles and snug to her body just perfectly. Everything about this woman appeared to be
perfect. Like she was real, but not
really. That's when Abby finally
realized that she recognized this woman.
She recognized her from a picture.
A picture that was still in her husband's wallet today.
This
woman that stood before her was Danijela.
- - - - -
- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - -
THE END of Chapter 4
Acknowledgments: I'd like to thank! everyone who has so far reviewed this
story. You have no idea what your
reviews mean to me. Really, without
them I'd never be able to continue my writing. :) I love them! Thank you
all so much!
DISCLAIMER: The above was a story of fiction based on characters created and
owned by Michael Crichton and NBC.