The Eighth and Final Chapter

When we were last with Hermione and Parvati, they met a dark and mysterious figure…

"Oh no!" said Hermione, "A dark and mysterious figure! Whatever will we do?"

"Oh no!" said Parvati, "And there's no hottie to rescue us!"

Upon closer look, they noticed that the figure looming in the doorway was neither dark nor mysterious. Actually, he was very mysterious, if by mysterious you mean he makes girls want to toss their knickers at him. He was Draco Malfoy! And a very sexy Draco, indeed!

"Draco?" said Hermione, "How the hell did you get in here?"

He swooped down and kissed her passionately, a kiss that many, wizard and muggle alike, had fantasized about.

"Draco?" said Parvati, "Herm is going out with Ron!"

"Oh, I know," he replied in his usual drawl, "I just wanted to shake things up. Besides, I'm gay anyway."

And with that, the sexy enigma disappeared. Still dazed from the snogging, Hermione teetered over the door.

Loud, terrible punk music filled the ears of the onlookers, who danced anyway because wizards like to get jiggy, even if the music is bad. Even worse than the grinding guitar work of George was Fred's singing, which sounded much like something out of the Exorcist. Really. It was that bad.

Parvati and Hermione shoved their way through the mosh pit of sweaty teenage wizards (most of who were screaming "You suck my world Snape Suckers!") up to the stage. Parvati waved sweetly at Fred, who blushed adorable and nearly messed up the vocals worse than he already had.

So everything turned out hunky dory, I guess. Well, everyone was happy except for Draco who was alone since the only other gay students at Hogwarts were Seamus and Dean, who had been going out since third year.

The End.