Title: When The Worst Happens
Author: Jenn
Disclaimer: If I owned Roswell, would I really be writing this? I didn't think so. Roswell and all its characters belong to Melinda Metz and the United Paramount Network. Brendan and Jason are another story. I'm still working on that. LOL.
Category: Mi/L mostly.
Rating: R for now.
Author's Note: This is Post-Departure with a few twists.
Dedication: I want to dedicate this to DMartinez, SilverSky, Peachez4MaxEvans and MoonBaby19 who have written some of the most awesome Polar fics out there. It's because of them that I am now a definite Polarist. I want to thank them for inspiring me to write this.
Summary: Just when Liz thought she had gotten her life back together, a tragedy strikes that could prove to ultimately be her breaking point. Who will save her from herself before it's too late?
********
In between their crying spells, Ava had managed to dislodged herself from Liz's death grip. She was now pacing the room, contemplating what to do next.
"I have to call Uncle Tony, Aunt Janie, an Uncle Mark. They have to be told about Mom and Dad. And now we have to make plans for their fun..." She stopped mid-sentence and started sobbing again.
"Oh god. I can't do this. This is a joke right? Or I'm dreaming. Yeah that's it, this is all just a really bad dream. Soon I'll wake up and Mom will be making breakfast while Dad's downstairs getting ready to open the Crash. It's just a bad dream." She started full-on crying, as the realization hit that it wasn't just a bad dream. "Oh my god. They're gone. I have to call Max." She mumbled as she made a mad dash for the phone.
"No need. I'm already here." Ava turned to see Max, Diane and Philip standing in the doorway.
Max quickly engulfed Ava in a fierce hug as she started sobbing again. "It's okay baby. I'm here. It's gonna be all right. You're gonna be okay." He murmured as he rubbed her back in an effort to calm her down. Can you say absolute bullshit, Max. Neither her nor Liz are gonna be okay for a long time. He thought to himself.
"How'd you know?" Ava sniffled.
"Jim called us. We got here as soon as we could. I'm so sorry sweetie." Diane said as she pulled Ava from Max's arms and hugged the girl tightly. She was pretty upset herself. Both her and Philip were extremely close with Nancy and Jeff. They had all been friends since high school. Jeff and Nancy had asked them to be both Liz and Ava's Godparents.
"Is there anything you girls need?"
Well let's see. My parents!?! "Not at the moment, Mrs. Evans. I'll let you know when I can finally think straight."
Diane nodded sympathetically. She really felt for the girls. Diane had lost her mother at 13. And even though she liked Ava, she was silently wondering where Liz was. Of either of the Parker sisters, Liz was her favorite. She adored her. She longed for the days when Max and Liz were a couple. She had talked with Liz shortly after her and Max had split and learned just how much of a giving person she really was. Liz had explained Ava's background and then told her of the relationship between Ava and Max. Liz sacrificed her own happiness and put Ava and Max first. Diane had a new found respect for Liz that would never ever change.
"Well then I guess we'll stop by again later. Call us if you need anything sweetheart." She told Ava as she embraced the girl again.
"I will. Thank you."
Once his parents had left, Max had finally noticed someone was missing from the picture. "Where is Liz?"
Like you care, Maxwell. Secretly, Micheal was a bit angry at Max on Liz's behalf about the whole him and Ava situation. He was the only one who knew how hurt she was. "I put her in bed. She cried herself to sleep. I wasn't gonna just leave her on the floor." Micheal replied sarcastically from Liz's doorway.
Ava saw the look he gave Max and knew exactly what it was. It was that of anger towards Max. He's protective of Liz. And envy towards the both of them. She had worn that look once upon a time. When she had first come to Roswell. She had given that very same look to Liz and Max. She could understand why he looked hurt. Liz had explained what Maria had done to him. Micheal was filled with so much hurt and anger that, Liz was the only one who could truly get through to him. What Maria did to him was absolutely horrible. But on some level, Ava knew Micheal would bounce back. It would just take some time, and the right person to help him through it. She knew that her sister would be the one to do it.
"Oh." Max silently thanked Micheal for keeping an eye on Liz. She's going to need someone to turn to. I'm just glad it's Micheal.
"And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit in her room. When she wakes up, she's gonna be pretty upset." He declared as he did an about face back into Liz's bedroom.
Max stood there astonished at Micheal's thoughtfulness towards Liz. He's a really great friend to her. Unlike me lately. I've been too wrapped up in Ava to realize all that she's given up for everyone else's benefit.
"Max?" Ava interupted his thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Can you just stay with me till I fall asleep?"
His only answer was to lead her to the couch and lay down next to her. "I'll stay longer than that if you want me to." He said as he draped an arm across her waist.
"Forever." She mumbled sleepily and snuggled into him.
"Forever and a day." He promised as he too drifted off to sleep.
Liz's Room:
Micheal sat in the chair next to Liz's bed staring at her silent form. He felt sorry for her and Ava because he knew how close they were to their parents. He, himself was somewhat close to them too. Since the split with Maria, he had been hanging out with Liz a lot and as a result, he spent a great deal of time at the Parker household. He had even spent some nights in the guest bedroom. Jeff told him that he was welcome to any time he wanted.
Now though, he was worried how Liz would deal with the loss of her parents. It was like adding insult to injury. She was still hurting from letting Max go and this, well this was just the icing on the cake. It was so ironic that someone who had it all could have nothing at the same time. Things had just gone from bad to worse. And all it took, was the 15 seconds in which Sheriff Valenti told Liz and Ava that Jeff and Nancy were dead. Her life will never be the same again. She'll never be same again.
Not that she was the same. She was definitely not the same Liz Parker that had dated Max. A lot had happened to her in the last two years. She fallen hard for Max only to find that he was destined for another. She had let him go despite her own heartache. And to make matters worse, just as she was prepared to let him back into her life, she had been told by a future version of Max that if her and Max were together, it would be the end of the world.
Yes, Liz had told him about the whole Future Max incident. And that she had never really slept with Kyle. He had known that all along though. He knew Liz was not a mean spirited person and would never do that to anyone. So she told him everything. Afterwards, she begged him not to say anything. And he didn't. He would never betray her trust after learning what she did to keep him and Isabel alive. Never. He vowed to be the best friend to Liz he could possibly be. After all, she wasn't any ordinary human, she sacrificed herself to save his life. And not many people would do that for him.
Liz's life was slowly crumbling though. She kept her grades up for appearances only. She would cry when she thought no one was around. She saved the little happy facade for when Ava, Max or her parents were around. Inwardly, however, she was miserable. And only Micheal knew the extent of that misery. She had confessed to him. It was eating her alive.
Liz began to stir. She noticed that Micheal was sitting by her bed staring out the window. "Micheal?" She asked sleepily.
He practically lept from the chair to the bed. He rubbed her cheek gingerly. "How are you? Do you need anything?" He asked sincerely. And a very dumb question that was. Of course she needs something. Her parents back home safe and sound.
She shook her head. "It wasn't a dream, was it?" Please say it was. Please say it was. She asked as tears welled up in her eyes.
"I'm afraid not sweetie." Micheal wanted nothing more than to bring Liz's parents back and give her some shred of happiness. She deserved at least that.
"Oh okay." She said as her bottom lip quivered. She began sobbing. "Why me, Micheal? Why them?"
"I honestly don't know Liz." He said. His own eyes were filling with tears at this point.
In an attempt to keep her calm, he laid down next to her. She in turn, held onto to him for dear life. As if she feared she'd lose him too.
They laid there in silence, holding each other for a while. Micheal's heart broke with every sob she let out. Somehow, they formed a connection and he could feel all the pain she was in. I guess it's because of Liz's powers. Suddenly, all the pain he felt at losing Maria seemed like child's play to all the pain Liz was in.
Liz suddenly looked him dead in the eyes. "Thank you." She sniffled.
"For what?"
"For being here with me. I can't be alone Micheal."
"I know. You're not alone Liz. You have all of us especially me. I won't ever leave you alone. Not as long as you need me." You've been here for me and I intend to do the same.
"It hurts so much." She sobbed.
He held her closer. "I know."
"It hurts so much here." She said indicating to her heart.
His heart broke once more as she gestured to her heart and began sobbing yet again. I don't understand how something so horrible could happen to someone so caring. "Just let it all out Liz. It's okay to cry."
But will I ever stop? She clung to him as she cried. No I won't. If I start, I'll never stop. And I can't do that.
Suddenly, she bounced off the bed and began cleaning her room. "What the hell am I doing laying here?" She asked rhetorically. "This room is a mess." She said as she started rearranging the books on her shelf.
Micheal sat there for a minute and kept a close eye on her. Then he decided that he couldn't let her act like this. She had tried the same thing when Alex died. For a time, she acted like he wasn't dead. Like he was on a long vacation. Like she was trying to put off dealing with the pain. And he knew all too well that the longer you put off dealing with the pain, the harder it will hit you in the end.
"Liz come sit down."
"No."
"Why not?" He questioned even though he knew the real reason.
"Because, I can't. My room is a mess." She insisted.
"Liz, I'm not that naive. Don't lie to me."
"I'm not Micheal. I can't stand it when my room is a mess. So I'm doing something about it. That's all." She said as she shook her head in defiance.
He stood up and looked her dead in the eye. "No that's not all. Liz don't do this. Don't act like this." He said in a solemn voice.
She laughed sarcastically. "Like what Micheal. I have no idea what you're talking about." She said as she straightened out her bed.
He threw his hands up in defeat. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. Don't try and play dumb with me. Cause you and I both know you're smarter than that."
"I am not playing dumb. I'm not acting like anything." She was growing agitated. Just leave me alone Micheal.
"You're full of shit and you know it." Quit lying to yourself Liz. It's not gonna work. I know you better than that.
She laughed again. "If I'm so full of shit and you know me so well, why don't you explain it to me then." She challenged him.
It wasn't lost on him that she had heard his thoughts but they'd deal with that later. "Like this." He said gesturing to her room. "Like nothing's happened. You can't pretend your parents aren't gone. That's not gonna work and you know it. So don't pull this bullshit act with me. I don't understand why you're acting like this."
He hit a sore spot. Don't push this Micheal. Please. "I'm not acting like anything. Will you just leave me alone for Christ sake!" She screamed as she pushed past him into her bathroom.
Oh you wanna play like that, huh? I see how it is Liz. "No I won't leave you alone." He yelled back as he followed her into the bathroom.
Meanwhile, In The Livingroom
Both Ava and Max were awakened by the yelling that was coming from Liz's room. Ava got worried and was about to go and check out what was going on. But Max stopped her.
"Leave it. She's yelling at Micheal."
Duh. "Like I don't know that. I wanna know what they be," She shook her head and corrected herself. Every now and then her New York accent popped up. "I mean what they're fighting about." She said as she stood up.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back down next to him. "What do you think Av?"
Ava could feel the anger coming off her sister in waves. "She's doing what she always does when something horrible happens. Pretending like it didn't." Yep, she too had witnessed Liz's way off dealing with things. Liz preferred pretending nothing happened to crying about and dealing with it. She thought that being strong was the only way to handle anything. This situation probably wouldn't be any different.
"Exactly. And Micheal won't let her do that. She's fine Ava. Don't worry. Micheal will handle it."
She laughed in response. "Oh I'm sure he will."
"And what does that mean?"
"It means that he'll try to be calm about it. Which is so un-Micheal like that it will only serve to furtha piss my sister off. He's neva like that with any one else. Why her?"
"Because, normally, she's the one who tries to deal with everything calmly."
"Whateva. I'm tired. I don't wanna deal with the world right now. So let's go back to sleep." She yawned.
"If that's what you want baby."
She didn't answer him because she was already asleep.
Back In Liz's Room
"You know what Micheal? Get out! I don't need this shit right now!"
"And if I said no?" I can't do that Liz.
Why not? "Oh so now you choose to be your wiseass-ish self? Wonderful. Just freaking wonderful." She huffed and went back into her room.
He followed her again. "Why is it that you think you have to play Lil' Miss Strong for everyone else's sake. What about you? Huh?"
"Well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black then I don't know what is. You should talk Mr. Stonewall." She screamed in retort.
"Ouch. That's true." He conceited. "But I'm not like that any more. You're the one who taught me that you can't just push the pain aside. If you do you'll never bounce back. It takes time. I know why I did it why are you?" He asked calmly.
"You wanna know why?" She yelled.
"Yes. I do Liz."
"Fine I'll tell you why." She sat down on the windowsill and gazed out the window. "Because, I have to Micheal. If I don't, I'm weak and vulnerable. And I get hurt. I always do. And if I stop pretending nothing's happened. It all becomes real. And in reality.." She said as her anger faded and tears began sliding down her cheeks. "And in reality, Alex is gone, and my parents are gone. And I can't handle that." She started sobbing as she slid to the floor.
Michael caught her before she hit the floor. He sat her in his lap and just held her while she cried. "I don't want it to be real Micheal. It hurts too much. What did I do to deserve this?" She asked no one in particular.
"What did I do to deserve Maria leaving me? I've thought about it over and over. And I can't name a damn thing I did to her except love her. Things just happen. But you can't hide the pain. The pain is what makes it real. I know it hurts. And it will for a long time. I'm still hurting. And there are days where I don't wanna face it at all. But you once told me that the pain you feel is part of what makes you human."
"I suppose you're right." She mumbled as she hid her head in the crook of his neck. But what if I can't deal?
Micheal had heard what she thought. And although it worried him. He chose to ignore it for the moment. Right now he concentrated on the sobbing girl in his arms. She needed him. And it felt good to be needed for once by someone other than his `brother' and `sister'.
Max and Isabel couldn't understand what he was feeling over the loss of Maria. Only Liz could. She knew how it felt because she had watched Max slowly slip away. She had made the choice to give him up. And she was now paying the price for it. But right now that was nothing compared to loosing both of her beloved parents. That pain would stick with her for a long time to come.
And Micheal was sure that he would be there for her every step of the way. Through each other, he felt they could hopefully learn to deal with all the pain and heartache. And eventually come out stronger. But soon Micheal would learn that Liz was not as strong as he thought. That she needed more help than just a hug and a shoulder to cry on.
***TBC***
Author: Jenn
Disclaimer: If I owned Roswell, would I really be writing this? I didn't think so. Roswell and all its characters belong to Melinda Metz and the United Paramount Network. Brendan and Jason are another story. I'm still working on that. LOL.
Category: Mi/L mostly.
Rating: R for now.
Author's Note: This is Post-Departure with a few twists.
Dedication: I want to dedicate this to DMartinez, SilverSky, Peachez4MaxEvans and MoonBaby19 who have written some of the most awesome Polar fics out there. It's because of them that I am now a definite Polarist. I want to thank them for inspiring me to write this.
Summary: Just when Liz thought she had gotten her life back together, a tragedy strikes that could prove to ultimately be her breaking point. Who will save her from herself before it's too late?
********
Part 1: From Bad To Worse In 15 Seconds Or Less
In between their crying spells, Ava had managed to dislodged herself from Liz's death grip. She was now pacing the room, contemplating what to do next.
"I have to call Uncle Tony, Aunt Janie, an Uncle Mark. They have to be told about Mom and Dad. And now we have to make plans for their fun..." She stopped mid-sentence and started sobbing again.
"Oh god. I can't do this. This is a joke right? Or I'm dreaming. Yeah that's it, this is all just a really bad dream. Soon I'll wake up and Mom will be making breakfast while Dad's downstairs getting ready to open the Crash. It's just a bad dream." She started full-on crying, as the realization hit that it wasn't just a bad dream. "Oh my god. They're gone. I have to call Max." She mumbled as she made a mad dash for the phone.
"No need. I'm already here." Ava turned to see Max, Diane and Philip standing in the doorway.
Max quickly engulfed Ava in a fierce hug as she started sobbing again. "It's okay baby. I'm here. It's gonna be all right. You're gonna be okay." He murmured as he rubbed her back in an effort to calm her down. Can you say absolute bullshit, Max. Neither her nor Liz are gonna be okay for a long time. He thought to himself.
"How'd you know?" Ava sniffled.
"Jim called us. We got here as soon as we could. I'm so sorry sweetie." Diane said as she pulled Ava from Max's arms and hugged the girl tightly. She was pretty upset herself. Both her and Philip were extremely close with Nancy and Jeff. They had all been friends since high school. Jeff and Nancy had asked them to be both Liz and Ava's Godparents.
"Is there anything you girls need?"
Well let's see. My parents!?! "Not at the moment, Mrs. Evans. I'll let you know when I can finally think straight."
Diane nodded sympathetically. She really felt for the girls. Diane had lost her mother at 13. And even though she liked Ava, she was silently wondering where Liz was. Of either of the Parker sisters, Liz was her favorite. She adored her. She longed for the days when Max and Liz were a couple. She had talked with Liz shortly after her and Max had split and learned just how much of a giving person she really was. Liz had explained Ava's background and then told her of the relationship between Ava and Max. Liz sacrificed her own happiness and put Ava and Max first. Diane had a new found respect for Liz that would never ever change.
"Well then I guess we'll stop by again later. Call us if you need anything sweetheart." She told Ava as she embraced the girl again.
"I will. Thank you."
Once his parents had left, Max had finally noticed someone was missing from the picture. "Where is Liz?"
Like you care, Maxwell. Secretly, Micheal was a bit angry at Max on Liz's behalf about the whole him and Ava situation. He was the only one who knew how hurt she was. "I put her in bed. She cried herself to sleep. I wasn't gonna just leave her on the floor." Micheal replied sarcastically from Liz's doorway.
Ava saw the look he gave Max and knew exactly what it was. It was that of anger towards Max. He's protective of Liz. And envy towards the both of them. She had worn that look once upon a time. When she had first come to Roswell. She had given that very same look to Liz and Max. She could understand why he looked hurt. Liz had explained what Maria had done to him. Micheal was filled with so much hurt and anger that, Liz was the only one who could truly get through to him. What Maria did to him was absolutely horrible. But on some level, Ava knew Micheal would bounce back. It would just take some time, and the right person to help him through it. She knew that her sister would be the one to do it.
"Oh." Max silently thanked Micheal for keeping an eye on Liz. She's going to need someone to turn to. I'm just glad it's Micheal.
"And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit in her room. When she wakes up, she's gonna be pretty upset." He declared as he did an about face back into Liz's bedroom.
Max stood there astonished at Micheal's thoughtfulness towards Liz. He's a really great friend to her. Unlike me lately. I've been too wrapped up in Ava to realize all that she's given up for everyone else's benefit.
"Max?" Ava interupted his thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Can you just stay with me till I fall asleep?"
His only answer was to lead her to the couch and lay down next to her. "I'll stay longer than that if you want me to." He said as he draped an arm across her waist.
"Forever." She mumbled sleepily and snuggled into him.
"Forever and a day." He promised as he too drifted off to sleep.
Liz's Room:
Micheal sat in the chair next to Liz's bed staring at her silent form. He felt sorry for her and Ava because he knew how close they were to their parents. He, himself was somewhat close to them too. Since the split with Maria, he had been hanging out with Liz a lot and as a result, he spent a great deal of time at the Parker household. He had even spent some nights in the guest bedroom. Jeff told him that he was welcome to any time he wanted.
Now though, he was worried how Liz would deal with the loss of her parents. It was like adding insult to injury. She was still hurting from letting Max go and this, well this was just the icing on the cake. It was so ironic that someone who had it all could have nothing at the same time. Things had just gone from bad to worse. And all it took, was the 15 seconds in which Sheriff Valenti told Liz and Ava that Jeff and Nancy were dead. Her life will never be the same again. She'll never be same again.
Not that she was the same. She was definitely not the same Liz Parker that had dated Max. A lot had happened to her in the last two years. She fallen hard for Max only to find that he was destined for another. She had let him go despite her own heartache. And to make matters worse, just as she was prepared to let him back into her life, she had been told by a future version of Max that if her and Max were together, it would be the end of the world.
Yes, Liz had told him about the whole Future Max incident. And that she had never really slept with Kyle. He had known that all along though. He knew Liz was not a mean spirited person and would never do that to anyone. So she told him everything. Afterwards, she begged him not to say anything. And he didn't. He would never betray her trust after learning what she did to keep him and Isabel alive. Never. He vowed to be the best friend to Liz he could possibly be. After all, she wasn't any ordinary human, she sacrificed herself to save his life. And not many people would do that for him.
Liz's life was slowly crumbling though. She kept her grades up for appearances only. She would cry when she thought no one was around. She saved the little happy facade for when Ava, Max or her parents were around. Inwardly, however, she was miserable. And only Micheal knew the extent of that misery. She had confessed to him. It was eating her alive.
Liz began to stir. She noticed that Micheal was sitting by her bed staring out the window. "Micheal?" She asked sleepily.
He practically lept from the chair to the bed. He rubbed her cheek gingerly. "How are you? Do you need anything?" He asked sincerely. And a very dumb question that was. Of course she needs something. Her parents back home safe and sound.
She shook her head. "It wasn't a dream, was it?" Please say it was. Please say it was. She asked as tears welled up in her eyes.
"I'm afraid not sweetie." Micheal wanted nothing more than to bring Liz's parents back and give her some shred of happiness. She deserved at least that.
"Oh okay." She said as her bottom lip quivered. She began sobbing. "Why me, Micheal? Why them?"
"I honestly don't know Liz." He said. His own eyes were filling with tears at this point.
In an attempt to keep her calm, he laid down next to her. She in turn, held onto to him for dear life. As if she feared she'd lose him too.
They laid there in silence, holding each other for a while. Micheal's heart broke with every sob she let out. Somehow, they formed a connection and he could feel all the pain she was in. I guess it's because of Liz's powers. Suddenly, all the pain he felt at losing Maria seemed like child's play to all the pain Liz was in.
Liz suddenly looked him dead in the eyes. "Thank you." She sniffled.
"For what?"
"For being here with me. I can't be alone Micheal."
"I know. You're not alone Liz. You have all of us especially me. I won't ever leave you alone. Not as long as you need me." You've been here for me and I intend to do the same.
"It hurts so much." She sobbed.
He held her closer. "I know."
"It hurts so much here." She said indicating to her heart.
His heart broke once more as she gestured to her heart and began sobbing yet again. I don't understand how something so horrible could happen to someone so caring. "Just let it all out Liz. It's okay to cry."
But will I ever stop? She clung to him as she cried. No I won't. If I start, I'll never stop. And I can't do that.
Suddenly, she bounced off the bed and began cleaning her room. "What the hell am I doing laying here?" She asked rhetorically. "This room is a mess." She said as she started rearranging the books on her shelf.
Micheal sat there for a minute and kept a close eye on her. Then he decided that he couldn't let her act like this. She had tried the same thing when Alex died. For a time, she acted like he wasn't dead. Like he was on a long vacation. Like she was trying to put off dealing with the pain. And he knew all too well that the longer you put off dealing with the pain, the harder it will hit you in the end.
"Liz come sit down."
"No."
"Why not?" He questioned even though he knew the real reason.
"Because, I can't. My room is a mess." She insisted.
"Liz, I'm not that naive. Don't lie to me."
"I'm not Micheal. I can't stand it when my room is a mess. So I'm doing something about it. That's all." She said as she shook her head in defiance.
He stood up and looked her dead in the eye. "No that's not all. Liz don't do this. Don't act like this." He said in a solemn voice.
She laughed sarcastically. "Like what Micheal. I have no idea what you're talking about." She said as she straightened out her bed.
He threw his hands up in defeat. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. Don't try and play dumb with me. Cause you and I both know you're smarter than that."
"I am not playing dumb. I'm not acting like anything." She was growing agitated. Just leave me alone Micheal.
"You're full of shit and you know it." Quit lying to yourself Liz. It's not gonna work. I know you better than that.
She laughed again. "If I'm so full of shit and you know me so well, why don't you explain it to me then." She challenged him.
It wasn't lost on him that she had heard his thoughts but they'd deal with that later. "Like this." He said gesturing to her room. "Like nothing's happened. You can't pretend your parents aren't gone. That's not gonna work and you know it. So don't pull this bullshit act with me. I don't understand why you're acting like this."
He hit a sore spot. Don't push this Micheal. Please. "I'm not acting like anything. Will you just leave me alone for Christ sake!" She screamed as she pushed past him into her bathroom.
Oh you wanna play like that, huh? I see how it is Liz. "No I won't leave you alone." He yelled back as he followed her into the bathroom.
Meanwhile, In The Livingroom
Both Ava and Max were awakened by the yelling that was coming from Liz's room. Ava got worried and was about to go and check out what was going on. But Max stopped her.
"Leave it. She's yelling at Micheal."
Duh. "Like I don't know that. I wanna know what they be," She shook her head and corrected herself. Every now and then her New York accent popped up. "I mean what they're fighting about." She said as she stood up.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back down next to him. "What do you think Av?"
Ava could feel the anger coming off her sister in waves. "She's doing what she always does when something horrible happens. Pretending like it didn't." Yep, she too had witnessed Liz's way off dealing with things. Liz preferred pretending nothing happened to crying about and dealing with it. She thought that being strong was the only way to handle anything. This situation probably wouldn't be any different.
"Exactly. And Micheal won't let her do that. She's fine Ava. Don't worry. Micheal will handle it."
She laughed in response. "Oh I'm sure he will."
"And what does that mean?"
"It means that he'll try to be calm about it. Which is so un-Micheal like that it will only serve to furtha piss my sister off. He's neva like that with any one else. Why her?"
"Because, normally, she's the one who tries to deal with everything calmly."
"Whateva. I'm tired. I don't wanna deal with the world right now. So let's go back to sleep." She yawned.
"If that's what you want baby."
She didn't answer him because she was already asleep.
Back In Liz's Room
"You know what Micheal? Get out! I don't need this shit right now!"
"And if I said no?" I can't do that Liz.
Why not? "Oh so now you choose to be your wiseass-ish self? Wonderful. Just freaking wonderful." She huffed and went back into her room.
He followed her again. "Why is it that you think you have to play Lil' Miss Strong for everyone else's sake. What about you? Huh?"
"Well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black then I don't know what is. You should talk Mr. Stonewall." She screamed in retort.
"Ouch. That's true." He conceited. "But I'm not like that any more. You're the one who taught me that you can't just push the pain aside. If you do you'll never bounce back. It takes time. I know why I did it why are you?" He asked calmly.
"You wanna know why?" She yelled.
"Yes. I do Liz."
"Fine I'll tell you why." She sat down on the windowsill and gazed out the window. "Because, I have to Micheal. If I don't, I'm weak and vulnerable. And I get hurt. I always do. And if I stop pretending nothing's happened. It all becomes real. And in reality.." She said as her anger faded and tears began sliding down her cheeks. "And in reality, Alex is gone, and my parents are gone. And I can't handle that." She started sobbing as she slid to the floor.
Michael caught her before she hit the floor. He sat her in his lap and just held her while she cried. "I don't want it to be real Micheal. It hurts too much. What did I do to deserve this?" She asked no one in particular.
"What did I do to deserve Maria leaving me? I've thought about it over and over. And I can't name a damn thing I did to her except love her. Things just happen. But you can't hide the pain. The pain is what makes it real. I know it hurts. And it will for a long time. I'm still hurting. And there are days where I don't wanna face it at all. But you once told me that the pain you feel is part of what makes you human."
"I suppose you're right." She mumbled as she hid her head in the crook of his neck. But what if I can't deal?
Micheal had heard what she thought. And although it worried him. He chose to ignore it for the moment. Right now he concentrated on the sobbing girl in his arms. She needed him. And it felt good to be needed for once by someone other than his `brother' and `sister'.
Max and Isabel couldn't understand what he was feeling over the loss of Maria. Only Liz could. She knew how it felt because she had watched Max slowly slip away. She had made the choice to give him up. And she was now paying the price for it. But right now that was nothing compared to loosing both of her beloved parents. That pain would stick with her for a long time to come.
And Micheal was sure that he would be there for her every step of the way. Through each other, he felt they could hopefully learn to deal with all the pain and heartache. And eventually come out stronger. But soon Micheal would learn that Liz was not as strong as he thought. That she needed more help than just a hug and a shoulder to cry on.
***TBC***
