I've decided to Re-write this fic. The first version contianed too many errors, and I was unhappy with some of the plot.

Warning. This fic contians scenes of an Explicit nature. It is rated R for a reason, if you can't handle that then please don't read any further.












(_..·´¯ (_..·´¯Chapter 1¯`·._)¯`·._)
(_..·´¯Sudden Memories¯`·._)



Balamb's Cafeteria was full of noise when she walked in. The white walls gleamed in the morning sun that was pouring in through the back windows. Scattered tables were full of blue uniformed cadets and SeeDs. Lingering in the air was the smell of hotdogs.

Quistis smiled a little walking over to get in the back of the line. Her SeeD uniform was crisply pressed, her boots newly shined. Golden hair swooped perfectly up into her shiny clip. She was the picture of stability. Former Instructor, newly made hero.

"What'll it be Miss Trepe?" the cafeteria lady asked when she reached the register.

"Just a salad and a cup of coffee" Quistis answered with a smile. She received her food and moved over to a table. She began to eat looking around the room at all the people there. Some were laughing, some were quiet.

A group of boys sat near by, laughing and talking loudly. They were throwing paper airplanes across the room, laughing as they hit other people. Quistis sighed and shook her head, when she had been an instructor; she could have done something to stop them. Now, she was just another SeeD.

A thin girl walked by their table doing her best to ignore them. One of them reached out suddenly and grabbed her by the wrist jerking her back a bit.

Quistis froze her entire body rigid, sudden memories flowing back into her head.

A hand grabbing her by the wrist. Pulling her across an open field into a dark old building. There were moving shadows all round her, and voices. Hands on her, everywhere.

Quistis rose in her chair a bit, scrubbing a hand across her face.

They shoved her to the floor, one of them tugging hard on her hair. Rough hands tore open her shirt, finding their way across her pale skin. She tried to close her eyes, but one of them slapped her hard and told them to keep it open.

Damn the GF's; damn them for stealing away her memories. They always seemed to steal the good, leaving the bad behind.

Her skirt wasn't even taken off, just shoved up around her hips. Their bodies heavy as they lay over her. One body after another after another.

Their laughter was ringing in her ears. She was standing fully now, not seeing the people around her.

The floor was rough against her back, so much pain. Terror hurt. . A mouth on her neck biting hard.

She remembered now when she first came to the Garden. Her foster parents had been killed that night. Matron had to have known what had happened.

Back then she didn't like anyone to touch her, men especially. Perhaps that is why she had chosen the whip; it kept her far from her enemies. Quistis was welcomed into the garden and it was then that she began to wrap herself in the cold layers of ice she always wore. So she worked hard to be the best girl in Balamb garden, hoping that Matron wouldn't punish her by sending her away.

They were mocking her tears fighting over who would have the little girl next.

His name was Richard. He had been the first man she had ever opened up to after coming to the garden. He was a handsome young SeeD transferred from Trabia. A few years older then her, she beamed with pride. They dated, and he wanted to make love to her. Quistis had refused, scared out of her mind. He hadn't taken no for an answer. He had taken her by force in some bushes by the fire cave. The entire time rocks digging into her back.

The floor digging into her back, sloppy lips on hers.

How was she supposed to think? She deserved it from all of them. Even being the smartest girl at Balamb had not saved her from her blatant fate.

It had also not saved her from the Back alley abortion doctor she went to, to clear up her little problem after the incident with Richard. She couldn't have his baby, and it was against SeeD policy to get an abortion. So she had no one to turn to when he left her bloody in an ally of Deling City. It was then that she resigned herself to a life of pain.

The door opening, light falling upon the uniformed Galbadia soldiers. Their laughter still lingering in her ears as they left the shack leaving the broken little girl on the floor.

Quistis was rushing across the cafeteria trying to blink back the biting tears.

How long had she lay there on the floor before she had to courage to get up? The courage to run into her house. Only to find her mother and father sprawled across the floor sodden in a pool of blood. The little girl lay down next to her mother; the blood seeping into the clothes she had left. The tiny blond finally allowed herself to cry.

The former Instructor found herself bent over a trashcan vomiting what she had for dinner last night. The sound brought all eyes in the cafeteria to her. She half stood up peering out at all of them, dragging the back of her hand across her lips.

Then with a half wail she ran from the cafeteria leaving all the watching eyes behind.










A/N: A special thanks to Sharpedge for being my beta reader. :)