Kuja's Angels


**Girl power music plays. Three outlined figures are shown. They are dancing around in tight clothing and high heels. Suddenly, one becomes visible.**

~~!!!!CLOUD STRIFE!!!!~~
**Cloud dances about in tight leather pants and a sky blue tube top. He wears black high-heels and wears bright red lipstick and blush. Another figure is shown.**

~~!!!!SEIFER ALMASY!!!!~~
**Seifer struts his stuff in strappy red high-heels and tight leather pants. He wears a shimmery red shirt that unzips very low. He bats his eyes at the camera in red eye shadow and pink lipstick. The last figure comes out.**

~~!!!!SEPHIROTH!!!!~~
**Sephiroth blows kisses with purply-pink lipstick. He wears a one-shoulder green shirt and sexy black high heels. Like the other two, he wears tight leather pants.**

**All three of the boys pull out guns and pose as the title flashes up.**

~~!!!!KUJA'S ANGELS!!!!~~

...start...

**Cloud, Seifer, and Sephiroth walk into an office room in the building. Squall is sitting at a desk, eating a sandwich.**
Cloud: Hey Squally! Whatcha doin'?
Squall: Eating a sandwich. It's really good. **Takes a bite.**
Cloud: Can I have a bite? **Bats eyes.**
Squall: No. **Takes another bite.**

~Meanwhile, Seifer and Sephiroth are arguing.~

Seifer: Mine are firmer!
Sephiroth: No, mine are!
Seifer: Mine!
Sephiroth: Mine!
Seifer: Tee-hee! Cloud! Whose breasts are firmer? Mine?
Sephiroth: Or mine?
Cloud: **Giggles** You guys! You both have firm breasts! I can't pick!
Seifer: **Glares at Sephiroth**
Sephiroth: **Glares at Seifer.**

~A voice booms over the loud speaker.~

Voice: Good morning, Angels!
**The three sit on the couch.**
Cloud, Sephiroth, and Seifer: Good morning, Kuja!
Kuja: I have a mission for you, Angels. Take a look at this tape while I explain.
**Their TV turns on, and it shows two men kissing.**
Kuja: This is Zell and Zidane. They are lovers, as you can see. But one day something dreadful happened.
**Two people dressed in black run in and kidnap the two boys.**
Kuja: They were kidnapped! Angels, you must find them and save them! Good luck!
**The intercom turns off. A voice on the videotape comes in.**
Voice On Tape: This tape will self-destruct... NOW! **Boom.**
**All three of the guy's stand.**
Cloud: Let's go boys!
Seifer: Let's kick butt! Tee-hee!
Sephiroth: Oh yeah!
**They link arms and leave together.**
Squall: Don't die! ...I hope they do...

~~Meanwhile...~~

Masked Person #1: Ready?
Masked Person #2: Oh yeah.
Zell: Eeeeeeggghh! Nooooo!
Zidane: Mommy help meeeeee!

~~Later~~

**The three boys have just swam a large lake to a dark old fort thing on an island. They climb out of the water.** Cloud: That was a long swim, huh??
Seifer: We can hack it! Tee-hee!
Sephiroth: Yeah!
**They begin to strip down out of their suits.**
Cloud: Yes! Let's just take off our clothes in an unknown enemy area!
Seifer and Sephy: Yeah!
**They finish getting naked, and quickly pull on their regular clothes and apply make-up. They march into the old fort thing. Suddenly, a Japanese evil person runs up.**
Japanese Evil Person: Waaaah! You no go further! I know... KUNG FU!!!
Seifer: Really!? Tee-hee! Me too! Cool!!
**Seifer kicks the guy weakly. The guy dies.**
Sephiroth: Good job, boy friend!
Seifer: Tee-hee! Thanks!
**They hug.**
Cloud: No time for that! Those masked people are here!
M.P #2: You'll never get Zell and Zidane back!
M.P #1: Yeah! So get outta here!
**The two masked people do some VERY impressive fighting techniques.**
Cloud: No! Well! Well! Uh, uh! Seifer knows Kung Fu!
Seifer: Tee-hee! Yeah! I do!
**Seifer gives the air a very lame-ass kick.**
M.P #1: They are strong!
M.P #2: Run away!
**The masked people run away. Cloud, Sephiroth, and Seifer untie Zell and Zidane.**
Zell: Seifer! **Sobs into his pretty shirt.** it was awful!
Sephiroth: What did they do to you?
Zidane: They made us break up with each other! Noooo!
Cloud: Um, you CAN be back together now.
Zell: Really? AWSOME!
**Zell and Zidane kiss...**

~~Later.~~

Kuja: Great work, Angels. The lovers are back safely home. You do an excellent job.
Cloud: Well, duh!
Seifer: Of course, Tee-Hee!
Sephiroth: No problem!
**The three guys link arms and leave the office building. They then go out onto the beach and play in the waters.**

The End of the show!

~~!!!!Thank you for watching Kuja's Angels! Join us next week for another thrilling episode! ....What... Wait!! ...Sorry, folks. The show's been cancelled! So, I'll never see you again! Buh-bye!!!!~~