Disclaimer: I own nothing but my infatuation with the color fuchsia

"He's mine, you bitch!" screamed Angelina.

"No, he mine, you slut!" screamed Katie furiously, pulling Snape toward her.

"No mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!" They pulled the poor confused professor back and forth between them.

"That's really pathetic," said Ron observing the girls.

"Yea," agreed Harry.

"Well, he is incredibly sexy, and those dreamy black eyes." Sighed Hermione.

"I think," began Ron, "that this is all Fred and George's fault."

"Shhh," hissed Harry, "don't say their names!"

"Look," said Ron exasperated, "they're my brothers, and I'll say their damn names if I want to."

"Harry's right," said Hermione, "it's best not to say the names of They-Who- Must-Not-be-Named."

"Geez people! We're talking about Fred and Ge. . ."

"Be quiet!" Everybody around them yelled.

Snape, who had managed to get free of Angelina and Katie, came towards Harry and Ron infuriated. "Mr. Weasely, I want you to know that I will never forgive you for this. Fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor!" He ducked his head under water as Lavender Brown passed yelling his name forlornly. Then, looking back up at Ron, "Never!"

"It's really not Ron's fault, I mean you can't hold him responsible just because of what his brother's did." Said Harry defensively.

Snape turned his cold eyes on Harry, who looked rather intimidated. Then he turned them on Hermione who looked very lovestruck.

"Professor," she began, "I think you look very nice."

"Really? I think I look rather stupid, as does everyone here. I'll never forgive you for this, Weasely!"

"It's not my fault! It's all Fre. . ."

"Don't say their names!" screamed everybody.

"I still can't believe Fr, um, I mean, They-Who-Must-Not-be-Named actually decided to fight Voldemort." Said Ron, "I thought they were just kidding when they said they were going to duel with him. You have to admit that putting a dung bomb under his cloak was clever." Added Ron hopefully.

"Yes," said Snape, "it still surprises me that old-Voldie fell for that. Poor guy couldn't even recover his wits enough to stop them before they put that jelly legs curse on him. After that, well, I think he knew he'd been beaten."

"It's kind of funny that Voldemort was defeated by a jelly legs curse, isn't it?" said Ron with a weak laugh, "I mean, he was the Dark Lord, you know, the Master of Infinite Evil and such."

"I don't think it's at all humorous that your hilarious brothers inherited all his powers after they defeated him and have now reduced all humanity to this."

They all looked down at their bodies.

"Being fuchsia ducks isn't really so bad." Said Ron meekly.

"Oh, but it is." Said Snape with a sinister calmness. "And let's not forget about that highly amusing spell they put on me so that all women would find me irresistible." His speech was very forced and his lips were incredibly tight. "Hilarious"

Ron was in no mood to further infuriate him so he merely watched a fish under his feet and ducked down to catch it. "You're even a failure as a duck, Weasely." Snape commented as Ron came up to the surface empty-beaked.

"Well, it's harder than it looks."