Body Disclaimer: I own nothing

A Son for the Dark Lord

by: Serenthia

Chapter 7: Playground Ethics

Voldemort sighed as he watched Severus bend over while he tried to do a somersault. The boy was not getting the point of the lecture on how to make people miserable. Voldemort was going to have to rely on cruder methods. Like insulting people's mothers, their teeth, or their hygiene habits.

"Let's go find Lucius," Voldemort said, "I'm sure he knows how to insult people in crude ways. He is not as refined and sensitive as I am."

Severus toppled over. "Me get Lucy! Lucy no like mallows!"

Marshmallows? Hmm. If Severus misbehaved maybe he could threaten him with a marshmallow? Voldemort was going to have to buy a package of them today and see if it worked.

Voldemort picked Severus up, who tried to turn himself upside down, and apparated to the campsite, after taking a swig of Polyjuice potion and turning into the old man.

Lucius and Arthur Weasley was glaring at each other, not noticing Voldemort's arrival.

"You take that back!" Arthur screamed.

"Your mother is too fat!" Lucius yelled back. "And she has a big butt!"

That did it. Arthur jumped at Lucius and they both went down in a flurry of fists. Severus turned himself right side up and watched with wide eyes.

"Stop it!" Maribel screamed as she tried to tug Arthur off Lucius.

"He insulted Mum!" Arthur screamed.

"Your sister is fat too!" Lucius declared when Maribel had almost gotten Arthur off him. Maribel let go.

"Get him, Arthur!" she hollered. "Show that rich brat who's stronger!"

Voldemort sighed. He hated petty fighting. The Cruciatus Curse was so much more effective. Voldemort put a hand over Severus's eyes.

"You don't watch. There are other means besides crude fighting to achieve your ends."

Severus threw himself backwards and Voldemort let go in surprise.

"Me fight!" Severus said, picking himself up and jumping into the fray.

"You hurt my son and I'll kill you both!" Voldemort yelled.

Lucius immediately stopped fighting and Severus socked him in the eye. Lucius went down and Severus shouted and attacked Arthur, tearing at his hair.

"Me fight!" he yelled with enthusiasm. "Me is winning!"

Arthur tried to pull Severus off him but Severus wouldn't go, kicking and biting and scratching. Maribel screamed and tried to get Severus off but Severus turned on her and she fell onto her brother. Lucius attempted to crawl to Voldemort, on the ground like all good servants should stay, when Severus saw this and jumped at him.

"Me fight Lucy!" he said happily and climbed onto Lucius's back and starting to pound him.

"Look what you've done!" Voldemort bellowed and Lucius collapsed to the ground in a groveling heap. "My son now thinks that physical fighting is okay! You're going to pay, Lucius! Do you hear me! You will pay!"

Arthur and Maribel Apparated away, their faces swelling up and their hair missing large chunks that were now in Severus's little fists.

Severus stood up and started to jump on Lucius's back. "Me is Deaf Eater! Me is winning! Me is Lord Voldemort!"

Voldemort hit his head with the palm of his hand and then spotted a bag of marshmallows. He ran over, grabbed one, and walked to Severus, the marshmallow hidden behind is back.

"Get off, Lucius, Severus," Voldemort commanded.

Severus smirked and put a foot on Lucius's butt. "NO!"

Voldemort took the marshmallow from behind his back. "You don't want me to make you eat this, do you?" Voldemort said, squeezing the marshmallow threateningly.

Severus clapped his hand over his mouth and shuddered, shaking his head, his eyes wide and horrified.

"Get off Lucius, then."

Severus jumped off and Voldemort put the marshmallow in his pocket. "Lucius, you will teach my son how to insult people with words," he hissed, "not fists."

Lucius nodded his head, his right eye swelling shut, as he got up stiffly. "Yes, my lord. I'm sorry, my lord."

Voldemort sighed tiredly. "No lasting harm, I guess. But you owe me!"

Lucius bowed, his body looking sore. "Of course, my lord. Anything."

Severus still had his hands over his mouth.

"Lucius will now instruct you on how to insult people," Voldemort told him. "Use the crude words like you just did with Arthur."

"You butt is big!" Severus said, pointing a Lucius with one finger. "Me stomp it!"

Voldemort stared at Lucius. "You see what you did!" he hissed.

Lucius smiled sickly and started to instruct Severus on how to insult people. Severus suddenly spun around and stuck his butt at Voldemort, wiggling it.

"Me has giant butt!" he said.

Voldemort snorted and bit his tongue. Dark Lords didn't laugh or smile or get amused when their sons wiggled their butts.

"Me butt is giant! Me is ugly! Me doesn't bathe!" Severus said while dancing around Lucius.

Voldemort shook his head. Obviously those threats didn't mean anything to Severus. He liked being called them. But... he could still insult with them.

"Let's try him at a park," Voldemort decided. "You can go home now," Voldemort told Lucius.

Lucius's eye was swollen shut now and his lip was twice it's normal size. "Yes, my lord," he said thickly, wincing as he bowed and then Apparated away.

Voldemort had to catch Severus and then Apparate them to a park. Severus stiffened up immediately as the sound of children's laughter floated to them.

"Father, we go home!" Severus said.

Voldemort pointed to a small band of giggling girls, all standing around one swing. "Tell them the things Lucius told you and they will then be miserable and quit laughing."

Severus nodded his head and went to them, Voldemort sat down on an empty bench and watched.

"You is ugly!" Severus told a very pretty ten year old.

She burst into tears and ran off. Severus's eyes lit up.

"You smell!" Severus said, shaking his head at another girl.

She ran off to join the other girl.

And on Severus went. Pretty soon all the kids were either crying or so angry they couldn't be happy anymore. Parents, most having been talking at a nearby circle of benches, came over to see what was wrong.

Severus climbed onto the jungle gym. "Me is Deaf Eater! Me is Lord Voldemort!"

Parents screamed.

"Voldemort's here!" they shouted, grabbing children and running.

Voldemort wasn't pleased. They could still say his name! He wasn't doing a very good job, then. Soon, very soon, Voldemort would inspire such fear that no one would be able to utter his name.

Soon everyone was gone. Voldemort was about to congratulate Severus when two boys showed up. One was a kid that had ran off earlier but the other one was new. They both had black hair and looked to be six.

"Did you make my friend cry?" the new boy demanded.

Severus nodded his head, smirking. "He is ugly!"

"You apologize to James right now!" the boy hissed, cocking his fist back.

Severus turned to James. "Me is sorry."

The new kid looked satisfied.

"Your mum is fat!" Severus told the new kid.

"What?!"

"Sirius," the teary eyed kid said, "don't."

"Your mum's butt is giant!" Severus said, egging the boy on.

Voldemort was going to do something to Lucius, all right. Severus was trying to start a fight. Before Voldemort could intercede, Sirius had thrown himself at Severus and the two of them went at it. James was screaming at them to stop, and then he ran off to get help.

Voldemort rubbed his chin. Should he stop this? Maybe Half-Dementors needed to work out their aggression somehow.

"Sirius!" came a woman's voice. "Stop that!" she screamed, as she skidded next to Sirius.

Sirius tried to stop the fight but Severus bit his arm just then and Sirius grabbed a handful of Severus's hair and tried to yank him off.

"He started it!" Sirius screamed.

The woman yanked Sirius up and away, and Severus got to his feet.

"You is ugly and fat!" Severus told her.

Gasping, she let Sirius go. "You get him, son!"

Sirius smirked, Severus smirked, and James screamed and ran off again as the two of them went at it again.

"Go Sirius!" the woman encouraged.

"Go Severus!" Voldemort encouraged, coming up to stand opposite of the woman.

They glared at each other.

"Your son needs to learn manners!" she hissed.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "He has manners. I've just taught him to be honest."

The woman's face flushed red. "Why, you! You!"

She might have thrown herself at Voldemort, and thus ensured her grisly demise, when a large hulking man came up behind her.

"Sirius!" the man said, yanking Sirius up. "Stop that! And you!," the man said, turning to the woman, "you know Sirius inherited your temper! You have to be the example for him!"

"But he called me fat and ugly!" she hollered.

The man shook his head.

Severus got up and kicked the man's leg. "Let Sirry go! Me fight him! Me like! You is scrawny! You smell! You is illgetimate! You is evil!"

And Severus attempted to insult the man enough to make him let go of Sirius. Sirius, dangling from one of the man's giant hands, turned red and tried to get at Severus. The woman turned red and tried to get at Severus but her husband grabbed the back of her robes and hauled them both off, leaving a spluttering Severus behind.

Once they were out of sight, Severus burst into tears.

"Me fight!" he wailed. "Come back!" he said brokenheartedly.

He turned to Voldemort and ran to him, sobbing. Voldemort picked him up, wondering why Severus liked to fight so much.

"Let's go visit Crabbe and Goyle," Voldemort decided and sure enough, they were both quite willing to 'fight' with Severus. And since they were tough, Severus didn't hurt them and they didn't hurt him.

Voldemort tucked Severus into the fireplace that night, (Severus slept better if Voldemort was in the room, and Voldemort rather liked the company), shaking his head. He was spoiling Severus, but Severus still seemed out of it. Hopefully he would get a brain one of these days and Voldemort could begin instructing him about how to be truly evil so Voldemort would have an heir!

Chapter 8: Epilogue (Severus gets his brain under control, becomes 'evil' and journeys to Hogwarts on the train)