By White Angel
Aftershocks
I am sitting in class. So are Liz, Maria and Isabel. But where is Michael?
I haven't seen him since last night. I am worried. He does disappear sometimes but that is only when he is confused. So am I Michael. So am I.
Where could he be? Does he regret it? I don't. I am totally confused but I don't regret it. It was wrong, yes. But it felt so right. How could something that feels so right be wrong?
I crave for his touch.
Maybe it is not that bad that he is not here. This way I don't have to look into those eyes. I don't want to see the regret and the hurt in them I am sure I will find.
But I have to find him.
I have to reassure myself that he is okey with this.
If he isn't I don't know what I will do. I need him.
As the school-bell rings I jump off my chair and rush outside. I hear a faint "Max" but I don't care.
I have to find him.
I start the engine of my jeep and drive off. First his place.
Arriving there it is empty. I go inside.
He is quite messy. Clothes scattered all over the floor. His couch is his bed. It can't be much more comfortable than my floor… but he doesn't have to sleep on my floor anymore. One way or the other.
It will never be the same again.
If he is not okey with this… I won't be able to look him in the eyes again. I feel guilt rise in me. I have to suppress it. Now I first have to find him. No need to sweat about something that might never happen. But what if…?
The whole room is filled with his scent. It fills my nostrils and I feel a warmth in me like last night, when I held him in my arms, touching him, kissing him. I can't deny the fact that I love him.
Okey, he is not here.
Where else could he be?
The cave.
I turn on my heels and drive to the cave, praying for him to be there.
I hesitate at the entrance, but I feel his presence. He is here.
"Michael." Just one word but it is my whole world.
There he sits, not looking up, just staring at the floor between his feet. Long moments pass before he finally looks up. I am taken aback by the pain in his eyes. It is there, plain for me to see.
I want to run to him, pull him close, stroke that pain away and kiss him better. But I know better than to do that. So I simply stand there, waiting for him to do the first step. It has to be him.
"Maxwell." He uses my long name. I sigh inwardly. "I knew you would find me." He says, looking back down to the floor.
"Why weren't you at school today?" I ask, not realizing I do before it is out.
"Because I was afraid."
"Afraid?"
"Yeah." His head hangs now and I feel my heart cramp by the thought of Michael being hurt.
"Why?" my voice is quiet, calmer than I feel. I am surprised it actually comes out without choking on the word.
"Because I couldn't be near you." That hurts. He doesn't want me near. He does regret it. My heart is broken, I know he doesn't mean to hurt me but he does. I turn around to leave when his voice holds me back.
"Max."
I turn back around and see tears shimmering in his eyes. "I mean I couldn't have you near without having to touch you. I couldn't keep myself from touching you. I can't act as if there's nothing is between us."
I sigh in relief and feel tears in my eyes as well. My heart skips a beat at the confession. "You don't regret it?" I have to be sure.
"No." That one word made my barriers brake and I go over to him, crushing our bodies together, locking my lips to his. He responds by opening his mouth, his hands crawling up and down my back. One of my hands tangles in his hair the other in the small of his back.
When we release it is only because of the lack of oxygen and I connect my forehead to his. My second hand comes up to cup his face and I look into those eyes I love so much. Those intense eyes, never giving away anything now showed nothing but warmth and affection… and love.
I gently rub his cheekbone, loving the feel of his skin. "Thank you."
"For what?" he asks, slowly backing off until we can really see each other.
"I don't know. Just for being you, I guess."
The look on his face is unreadable. I see different emotions flicker over his features, wonder, disbelieve and again that warm look of love. Love for me.
I wonder if he sees the same love on my face, in my eyes and I feel the tears coming back to me.
He cups my face and looks at me. Then he pulls me into a gentle but firm embrace. This is what I have been craving for all day.
"Never leave me…" he whispers into my hair and I lean back, seeing a single tear slip down his cheek. I tenderly brush it away and a weak but honest smile forms on my lips. "Never." I promise, sure he knows I mean it.
"I couldn't live without you, Max."
"Yes, you could."
"No. Never." His words struck deep. I don't find words so I do what I can think of as the only possibility. I pull him close, never wanting to let go. Nobody understands me like him.
"I love you, Michael."
"I love you too."
We stand like this for a long while before finally parting. We kiss long, passionate but gentle. To me it is the most natural thing in the world.
"Ready to go back?" I ask him, although I myself don't want to go, don't want to face reality.
He nods and we go out of the cave, our hands still tightly entwined.
"How did you get here?"
"Walked…"
"You walked all the way?"
"Yeah… I needed time to think. I couldn't sleep last night."
"Neither could I." I confess, gently touching his cheek.
We climb into the jeep and he looks at me, love and fear, hope and sadness in his eyes.
I give him a quick kiss before starting the engine.
Back to reality.
Back to Roswell.
The End
