COMING HOME
CHAPTER IX
Note: This chapter was mistakenly omitted from the original FF.Net posting. Sorry!
"Enzo, are you sure you're ready to try this?"
"Yes." Enzo answered softly, eyes closed.
"You don't have to do this, you know. There's no rush."
"I know, Dot." The boy sighed. "But I'm ready – I know I am." He felt a pang of guilt at the lie.
Dot knelt beside him on the hard floor of the lab. "Sweetie, I know how hard you're working at this. And I know how much you want to bring Dad back. I know you want to do it for me. But you don't have to do this yet – you've only been out of the M.U. a few cycles. There's no shame in taking time to learn and get stronger. Dad will still be here when you're ready."
"I know, Sis."
"You don't have to prove anything to me, Enzo. Not to anyone. You don't have to try and be a grown-up. It's OK to be a little boy."
"I want to try. I think I can do it, just give me a chance!"
"Enzo…" She sighed and kissed his cheek. "We've already been through so much. If you try and do this before you're ready you could get sick again."
"I won't. I'll be fine. Please?"
"Enzo-"
"Please, Dot?" The determination was plain on his face, even if Enzo didn't care to tell Dot the reasons behind it. The boy was beginning to learn just how vital concentration was to controlling the energy inside him – and concentration had never been something he'd had in large supply. Glitch-Bob was in the M.U. As long as he was processing everything might be OK. But he might delete, and Enzo knew it. If he deleted, Enzo figured he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything for a long, long time. So he had to try now…
No! the boy pushed the thought of Glitch-Bob from his mind. It was the wrong time to be thinking about it. Phong, who had been keeping a respectful distance from the siblings as they spoke, wheeled over to join them. "Well, Child? Do you wish to proceed?"
"Yes." Enzo said softly.
"We'll… We'll try it, Phong." Dot sighed. "But at the first sign Enzo's in trouble, pull the plug."
"Of course, Dot. Are you ready, Child?"
"I guess so. I mean – yes. There's no one else here, right?"
"No, Young Guardian. Only we three."
Good. No distractions. Enzo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "OK… I'm ready. Hold my hand, Dot?"
"Yes." His sister took his hand in her own. Maybe it was his imagination, but the boy felt that he was somehow stronger when they were connected – the touch of her hand helped him focus his mind. She hadn't been holding him when he'd tried to control the nulls before. Besides, considering what he was trying to do it was only right that they be together.
"You will tell me when to release the nulls, Young Enzo?"
Enzo's eyes snapped open. "Uh… That could be a problem, Phong. When I'm using the energy it's better if I don't talk for some reason. It's like talking knocks the picture out of my head. It gets so I almost don't even hear anything, either."
"Can you squeeze my hand? When you're ready? Then I can give Phong a signal."
"Yeah… I guess I can. OK, Phong?"
"Of course, Child. I will await your signal. And good luck."
"Thanks." He whispered. He took one last look at Dot, squeezed her hand for luck, and closed his eyes. He could sense the nulls on the periphery of his consciousness, but ignored them – he had to clear everything away first, as best he could. A series of long, slow breaths. Air rushing into his lungs, filling his body, paving the way for the energy that would follow.
He could sense the energy there. It was always there, but he only sensed it when he looked for it. Oddly, he could almost sense the Guardian protocols too, though not in the same way, of course. In his mind's eye they were a wall, a solid bedrock of support. If he felt weak they would support his weight, keep him from falling. They would keep the energy from going where it wasn't supposed to. Or so he hoped.
Enzo banished the negative thought from his processor and opened his mind to the energy. There was the familiar pricking of his skin as it began to lazily, deliberately fill him. His torso first, his lungs, his stomach. Slowly, patiently snaking out onto his shoulders, his arms, his legs. He stretched his limbs out, splayed his fingers and toes, giving the energy as much room as possible to expand and grow. He could feel it tingling all over him, through him, wanting to lift him off the ground as it had before. It would be so easy now – to fly, graceful and weightless. It would be so easy, the most natural thing in the net.
The boy grunted in exertion, more effort being required to keep himself anchored than to rise into the air. The energy was exuberant – it wanted to be free, to carry him with it. He was the energy, he wanted the freedom. But Enzo needed that energy, needed to direct it elsewhere. He flexed his arms, feeling the coiled strength in his muscles, and allowed the nulls into his consciousness.
They were there – perhaps twenty or thirty of them, roiling in the tank. They were so close he could almost touch them through the glass, and he saw them far more clearly than if his eyes had been open. They were agitated – they sensed him, as he sensed them. They were drawn to him, elementally. He sensed the need in the core of their strange consciousness. There were too many – he could never hope to control them. Not individually.
Heedless of the sweat forming on his brow, heedless of the other two sprites in the lab, Enzo made contact with the first null. It was a random choice – perhaps he should have chosen scientifically or intuitively, but his mind sought out the first signature that caught it's fancy. It was easy – he saw the link between them, clean and pure and simple, a joining of pure energy. He flexed his fingers as his mind probed, testing its control. The null danced in the tank as if on a string.
Enzo hadn't known how he would proceed past that nano – how he would surpass his previous attempt and succeed where he had failed before. He'd merely hoped that when the time came, he would know what to do. And, miraculously, the knowledge was clear to him now – as if it were a long-known fact, simply forgotten. And now remembered. He didn't reach out with another tendril of his energy, did not reach out a new connection to another null. He focused his mind on the pure, simple link to the null that was already in his mind. And through that link, solid and secure, he reached through the null to a second. It was an unbroken connection. One link, two nulls.
Their signatures were becoming too muddled, now. Too many of them, too close together. He needed their individuality. They were too many and too close in the tank – his link was becoming tangled already. He diverted a small sliver of his energy and sent it to his left hand, which squeezed, slowly but firmly, on his sister's right. Her voice was far, far away, as if he were hearing it through a long tunnel. "Release them, Phong."
Enzo recoiled for a moment as the nulls poured out of the tank and onto the floor of the lab. It was an overload of his senses, too much input. He felt a shiver run the course of his body, head to toe, and his knees weakened. Dot's voice again came from far away. "Phong! Maybe you-"
No! Enzo squeezed her hand, firmly, telling her he was all right. He took several slow breaths, trying to calm himself, and turned his attention back to the nulls. They were falling all over each other, confused, unsure. Enzo tested his link to the null already in his control as if he were tugging on a rope, and found it secure. He traced it through the first null, through the second, and probed outwards, finding a third signature close at hand. Again, it was easy – it was still one connection, his mind could handle it, maintain it. The first two nulls were almost an afterthought.
The boy saw a chain in his mind – a chain of light, of warmth, long and thin. And three brighter, hotter nexus points, like links. Then, as quickly, there were four, five. It was getting harder, almost imperceptibly – even as an unbroken stream of energy it was longer, required more discipline to maintain. But he could do it. He reached out, added a sixth link. A seventh. Gasped at the sheer sensation of it. Eight. Nine. And all one…
Now Enzo began to consider, broadly, what he had to do to bring his father back. Once again he had no idea, truth be told – only a vague notion based on what he'd seen Hexadecimal do. And once again he fell back on instinct, not as clear as the insight of a few moments earlier but still, it felt right. Dad needed energy – he needed energy to convert his impulses into movement, speech. Hex had given him energy – a body, as it were. A body of nulls, providing energy just as a sprite's body provided it energy. That meant there must be a spark of Dad in his null, a will. Did all these other nulls have a will, too?
No – that was too much thinking. How many did he have, now? Fifteen? Twenty? His energy had been adding more even as his logic circuits were wandering. The connection in his mind was a beautiful thing now. His hands began to dance in the air in front of him, unconsciously. He drew them together, one on top of the other, began piling them into what he hoped was a body but how could he know, really? Their energy was shared, they were one – he hoped it would be enough. Dad? Dad, can you hear me?
Enzo's mind found the lone null in its cage, far apart from the others. Like all the nulls it had its own signature, unique – but he found nothing recognizably "Dad" -like in its nature. It needed the energy, it needed the body. He squeezed Dot's hand again, urgently. This time he didn't even hear her voice, but he felt the null slide from its cage, onto the floor. Tracked it as it cautiously made its way towards him, questing. Then, all it once, it sped across the floor and squirreled its way atop the rough mound of nulls Enzo had constructed.
There was a nano of sharp pain as the energy in Enzo's body flared brightly, sparked. Then a voice – strangled, confused. "Daughter?"
"Dad!" A gasp, Dot, far away down the tunnel. Enzo felt his emotions rising and gasped, trying to maintain the connection between himself and the nulls. There was now one fiercely bright, white-hot nexus at the pinnacle of the null body, the terminus of the chain of energy. Dad.
"Dot? I'll never get used to this." Enzo could hear the voice in his ears, but also in his mind.
"Oh, Dad! It was Enzo – Enzo brought you back, Dad!"
"Enzo?" There was confusion in the voice. "Son?"
Enzo couldn't speak. He couldn't make his vocal chords work. He desperately reached out with his mind, trying to send his consciousness down the line of energy and reach its nexus. Dad… I'm here. Can you feel me?
"Where are you? Enzo?" The voice in his mind and his ears.
It's… Very hard, Dad. I don't know how… How long…
"Son? How are you doing this?"
Ask… Dot. The communication was brutally difficult.
"Dot? I don't understand. How is Enzo doing this?"
"Oh, Dad…" She was crying, he could hear it in her voice. "It was Hexadecimal, she… She did something to him, gave him a power. He can control the nulls, but it isn't easy…"
"Enzo? Are you all right?"
Dad. He sent the one word, all he could muster.
"Oh Dad – it's so hard for him. Dad…"
"Is… Is Daemon gone? Did it work?"
"Yes, Dad. The net is safe."
"Thank the User. Enzo, Son… Are you still with me?"
Dad! User, it was so hard... It wasn't fair – he could bring his father back but he could barely communicate with him! His mind just wasn't strong enough – not yet. With each passing nano it was getting harder and harder to control the nulls, and trying to communicate consciously with his father sapped away precious concentration.
"I hear you, Son. I… I miss you."
Enzo gasped again. He could vaguely feel both of Dot's arms around him now, supporting his weight. He let his physical form go altogether, devoted all his energy to the nulls. He could see the edges of his chain beginning to fray, little sparkles of energy as they dissipated into the ether. Dad… I'm trying, Dad…
"I know, Son. Don't try too hard – it'll be all right."
"Oh, Dad. I think… I think we should stop this, Dad! I don't think he can take any more."
No! Please…
"Enzo, it's all right. We'll talk again. It's time to let me go, now."
No! I can… Dad!
"Is Matrix all right?"
"He's fine, Dad. He's… He's defending a game or he'd be here now."
"My – this is certainly a strange turn, isn't it?" Somehow, the characteristic gentle humor still found it's way into Welman Matrix' labored voice. "I find myself not wanting to leave – but I think its time. For now."
More sparks, more fraying of the thread. Enzo was leaning on that wall of bedrock in his mind, as surely as his body was supported by Dot - trying to keep from collapsing, loosing the energy in an explosion of chaos. "Dad, we've got to stop! It's hurting him!"
"You heard your sister. Let me go, Son. We'll be together again, I promise."
Dad! Don't go…
"Stop, Enzo! Just stop, please. Phong, help me!"
There was a final touch, a warm reassurance to his mind. "I love you, Kids. Behave yourselves." Then the fiercely hot, bright nexus at the end of the chain was gone, and in its absence the link began to disintegrate. Enzo surrendered it and felt blackness rush into his mind, blessed emptiness.
"Enzo! Oh User, Enzo… Talk to me Sweetie. Talk to me."
Talking was out of the question. He could still hear though – that meant he was processing, anyway. He could feel, too – there were hands holding him, stroking his hair. Dot was kissing his forehead. "Talk to me, Sweetie. Please, Enzo!"
"I believe he will be all right in a few moments, Child. His energy levels are extremely low – he must have been exerting himself to the limits of his ability. But his systems are all functioning normally."
"Thank the User!"
"Extraordinary, most extraordinary…"
"Dot?"
"I'm here, Angel. Just take it easy."
Enzo felt strange - empty and exhilarated and utterly exhausted and totally sad, all at once. He fluttered his eyes open. "Dot, I talked to Dad. I talked to him, in my head…"
"I know, Angel. We heard him talking to you."
"I talked to him, and he answered me."
"I know." Another kiss on the forehead.
"He said he loved us…"
"I know Baby, I know. You brought Dad back. But right now you need to rest, OK?"
"Sorry I… I couldn't keep him here. I tried."
"I know you did. You were wonderful, Enzo. You brought Dad back. Some cycle you can do it again, but just take it easy right now. You're very tired."
"I'll do better next time." Enzo sighed, closing his eyes. "I know I can do better. It was just so hard to talk to him, it was so hard…"
"Shhh. Don't talk so much."
"I think I would like to keep the boy in the M.U. overnight, Child – just to observe his condition. I believe that would be a prudent precaution."
"That was why Hex did it, Dot. She wanted me to have Dad back."
"Maybe she did, Enzo." The boy felt himself being lifted from the floor; felt his head rested on a strong shoulder. "Let's get him to a bed, Phong. He feels like he's totally drained of energy – he's not supporting his weight at all."
"I must return the nulls to their pens, Child – I will be along shortly."
Enzo felt like he was in a dream, bodiless, weightless. There was the soft hum of a zip board. "Dot… Are you still there?"
"I'm carrying you, Sweetie. I'm right here. Don't talk, just rest."
"She did it so I could bring Dad back, Sis. That's why Hex did it. She just wanted to help me…"
"I know she did. And you did it, too – she'd be proud of you. Bur right now she'd want you to rest and get your strength back, OK?"
"OK." He was drifting off, floating away on the wind. "I'm so tired, Dot…"
"I know." The shoulder gave way to a pillow, soft. Blankets around him – a bed. It must be time to sleep. "Go to sleep, Enzo. No more nulls today. Just go to sleep, everything's OK."
"OK, Dot." Hex had given him back his Dad – for a while anyway. It was an amazing thought. "Dot, I talked to Dad."
"I know, Sweetie. You brought him back to us. And now you're going to sleep for a while."
"OK." It sounded like a pretty good idea, actually. "Good night, Dot."
"Good night, Love." Was it night? Enzo couldn't be sure. It didn't matter, it was time to sleep. So he did.
