Yuffie Need Jobs

Legal Junk: First off I'm not an employee of Square, nor do I own Square, and I do not own Final Fantasy VII, and I don't own any of the characters here.

Authors Note: You know what, only one stinking person read my last story. So I decided to write another! Weird how the mind works. Oh yeah, I'm really bad at humor, so... flame me all you want! R+R, and if you don't, I'll hunt you down.

-One Month After End of Game-

Yuffie was broke. She had spent all her gil on buying materia, items, armor, weapons, ect. before the showdown between Sephiroth and the gang. So after a month of partying, speeches, wild butt sex, alcohol, and drugs, it was all over. She was broke. Completely. Sure, she wasn't as broke as the bums in Midgar, and she could still afford to buy herself food, but she still needed a job, cuz money doesn't grow on trees.

Yuffie: It doesn't?! *Drops a pair of pruning shears* Ah crap! Now I really need a job.

Of course, Yuffie didn't graduate from college. Instead she spent her whole life in Wutai, scheming to be a thief.

Yuffie: Not scheming! Just...Training.

Whatever. Anyways, Yuffie had no education, so first things first, Yuffie was going to college. Being the stupid bitch that she is ...

Yuffie: Hey!

Being the stupid bitch Yuffie is, she had to go to Community College of Midgar.

Yuffie: Its not THAT bad.

Oh yes it is. Anyways, she decided to major in Health and Medicine.

Yuffie: I'm gonna be a doctor and make shitpiles of money! Hehehehehe...

So one day, Yuffie went to Midgar and enrolled in college. She was assigned to Building C, dormitory 142. After walking around and becoming lost, and finally finding her way, she opened the door to find her roommate...

Yuffie: What the freaking hell?! Tifa?!

Tifa: Use of that language could only mean my roommate is...Yuffie. Ah shit! Why cant they make this college co-ed?

Yuffie: I wish they'd make this college animal free, so I wouldn't be paired with you.

Tifa: Yup, being the stupid bitch you are.

Yuffie: Why does everyone call me that?!

Because you are. Continuing on... Yuffie's first class was sped math, and naturally, being the sped she is, Yuffie was excited.

Yuffie: *Arriving in classroom* Heeeey everyone...wait...is this special education?

Teacher: Yes. Are you miss Yuffie Kisargi (Or however you spell it)?

Yuffie: Yes, but, um, this is the wrong class. There are only retarded kids in here, no special people.

Teacher: Yuffie! We refer to them as special, hence the meaning...

Yuffie: Hence?

Teacher: Hence the meaning special education. I bet you are special in your own way too.

Yuffie: *Realizes what the special in special education means* Oh shit! I'm not that stupid!

Teacher: No, you're just learning impaired. Now sit down. Your desk partner-

Yuffie: What is this?! Fourth grade?! Desk partners?!

Teacher: Yuffie, calm down! We made this at the fourth grade level for special kids.

Yuffie: They aren't special...

Teacher: Shut up! Yes they are! And your desk partner is -

Tifa: *Just walks into the door* Sorry, I got confused and went into the men's bathroom instead of this classroom.

Teacher: That's quite alright. Your desk partner, Tifa, is Miss Yuffie here.

Tifa and Yuffie: Crap!

-Chapter 2/More of chapter 1 to come later!-