Chapter 7: Some People Wonder Why Scalding Hot Water Isn't Used As a Weapon

Chapter 7: Some People Wonder Why Scalding Hot Water Isn't Used As a Weapon

(It Burns)

Smoke, beer, and… well that's all one could expect from this kind of joint, which was pretty weak from Zack's point of view. He took in all the sites of one of Junon city's many, many dives. Shouts and hollering came from all directions as men "vivaciously" trying to have a good time filled the joint. Smoke from cigars and most likely marijuana clumped together in clouds around the various patrons.

All this seemed to seep from every corner of the room, filling every inch with its vileness. While the source was anywhere and everywhere, it could be seen clearly that the only table that wasn't equipped with foulness was a twelve-seat table, with only six men filling in seats. The one at the head of the table was, of course, the special unit #0's team captain. AKA: Sephiroth. The second was a man named Ressin, who was considerably older than anyone else seated, at the table. He was the fourth person recruited for the team after the original three. Said to have more experience than anyone else there, he was revered for his knowledge of battle strategies. The third man seated was one that was trained highly in the art of stealth. Although he might seem to be cool in nature, he's actually just a perverted guy hoping to score. His real name was Zet, but everyone outside the team just called him "The Perv." The fourth and fifth men were Xander and Zack, which were taken up on the team for reason's unknown. And the sixth person just happened to be a country boy-turned military police sitting down for a lack of other good table spots.

As cool and calm as usual, Sephiroth looked at the team. Ressin was sipping a frosty beer, and Zet was checking out a waitress. Soon, he turned to Xander, who was watching Zack pester the MP next to them. Seeing as he had nothing better to do, he listened into their conversation.

"Hey Zack, maybe you should leave the guy alone. He's starting to look perturbed." Xander advised meekly.

In response, Zack mimicked his partner in a high-pitched, annoying tone. "Maybe you should leave him alone. He's staring to look blah, blah, blah." Waving Xander off, the teen returned to the officer beside him. Putting an arm around his shoulder, Zack pulled the boy in closer proximity to his face. "So, little-man, what's yer name?"

Stuttering slightly, he squeaked out a syllable. "C-C- Cloud, sir."

Rearing back in his seat, Zack slammed a hand on Cloud's back. "Hey, hey, what's with this "sir" junk?"

Gathering more courage to make his vocal cords vibrate, Cloud said, "The r-r-regulation rule b-book says on page three, article ten, p-p-paragraph six, that all low class officers should address those h-higher in rank as s-s-s-sir."

Zack raised in eyebrow. "Seems that someone lacks half the wit God gave them…" He said in a singsong voice.

Xander took this break in words as a chance to butt in. "Just like somebody lacks half the "equipment" that they were given, right?" Sephiroth couldn't help but chuckle slightly.

Zack eyed his best friend sorely at the comment and chose this time to stop giving Cloud a hard time. Reaching over and grabbing Ressin's beer mug from his hands, Zack took a nearby metal spoon and stood up out of his seat. Slightly tapping the glass to give off a small 'ding', Zack cleared his throat. After catching everyone's attention at the table, He spoke. "I have chosen that it's time everyone knew why we're haven' ourselves this little ol' shindig here.

Realizing what he was going to do, Sephiroth reached a hand out to shut Zack's big mouth. But as he made the motion, Zack turned to face his Commander. "I've heard from a very reliable source that tomorrow is the Cap'n's b-day!"

Hearing this, the member's of the table turned to Sephiroth, whom rather harshly, slammed a hand to his face, being berated by statements along the lines of "Why didn't you tell us?" or, "Why, we could've had cake!" Releasing his face from his kung-fu grip, Sephiroth gave Zack an icy glare. "There was a reason why I told you to NOT tell anyone else, ya'know."

Giving his famous grin, Zack continued to speak. "And since we don't have tomorrow off, I decide that we should have a party in his honor…"

Hearing these words brought a smile to Xander's face. He hadn't been to a party since he was small, and a real party was just what everyone needed.

"… At Xander's pad!"

Now hearing those words made Xander jerk his head up in surprise. "WHAT?"

Zack tried to calm Xander down slowly. "It's only for tonight. And besides, I think it's about time everyone met your family. You never talk about-"

"You NEVER TOLD ME ANYTHING ABOUT THIS!"

Zet, liking the idea of going to Xander's spoke up. He had heard stories about its denizen's… "Hey, from what I here, your Ma can cook, and your sister's a real looker, eh? Eh?"

In a flash, Xander's skin went from pale to tomato red. "SHE'S NOT MY SISTER!" A round of ooh's and aah's came from the rest of the bar, and Xander mentally hit himself.

Zet's eye's lit up at the outburst. So I guess that that means you and her are…" He made a distinctive pumping motion with his hips, "Getting yer freaks on huh?"

Having quite enough, Xander yanked Ressin's beer mug out of Zack's hands and heaved it at Zet, which promptly laid him out on the ground, KO'ed.

Zack, getting uncomfortable by the moment, unwittingly darted his eyes around the room. "So I guess that's our cue to go to Xander's, huh?"

"WHAT? But, but, but, bu~ACKKT!"

Ressin had taken the lad by the ear and led him out the door to the streets, with Zack and Cloud following suit. And Sephiroth just sighed, paying the bill for the drinks and extra for the disturbance. At last, he went out and followed his comrades outside. More insubordination…

Two Hours Later…

"You guys do know that this isn't going to go well with them, right?" Xander pleaded.

"Shu' up and knock on the door?"

"Fine, fine." Xander sighed. In a matter of hours the team had requisitioned a helicopter and flown to Midgar. Then, after much hassle, they had gotten Xander to lead them to his home, and now they were at his front door.

Cloud, who had tagged along on one of Zack's orders, was amazed by the lushness of the garden. "Wow! I heard that no plants could grow in Midgar! This is great!"

Sephiroth nodded his head in concurrence. "That's true. Your mother seems to be a miracle maker."

Xander chuckled slightly. "It's my sister that does all the magic-"

Zack interjected. "So she is your sister."

"Well, not really… She could be seen as my sister, but we aren't related."

"So that means I can make a move on her…"

"What? Don't you touch her!"

"Ooh, someone's a bit too defensive, aren't they?"

Ressin let out a snort of disapproval. "Just ring the stupid doorbell, would ya?"

Xander eyed Ressin once over before returning to the door. But before he had a chance to move, the door swung open by it self. Caught off guard, the team jumped back, and Cloud ducked for cover. Xander, covering his head in his arms, looked up to the door and was slightly calmed at what he saw. "Oh, it just you, Aerith" He said, breathing out a sigh of relief.

Lo and behold, it was Aerith, standing at the door, unaware of whom the visitors were. "You darn kids aren't gonna egg the house this time!" And just as she said those words, she preceded to dump scalding water on the closest figure in front of her, which happened to be Xander.

As the liquid covered him, Xander started to roll on the ground to try and put out the invisible fire on his skin. "Aerith!! What the frick is your problem?" He yelled between screams of pain.

Confused as ever, Aerith tilted her head to the side. "Xander?"