-Chapter 4-

-Next Day of College-

Tifa: Hey Yuffie, I think I'm gonna quit college and become a chef.

Yuffie: Why? You're really bad at it.

Tifa: I figure, if I feed one person for a day, then he'll eat for one meal. If I feed a man for a week, he'll eat good for life!

Yuffie: That made no sense.

Tifa: It made a ton of sense. You're just stupid.

Yuffie: No you're stupid!

Tifa: No YOU'RE stupid!

Yuffie: Whatever. Anyways I have to go and buy a book for college math. Wanna come along?

Tifa: Sure!

Tifa and Yuffie walked to the already-used-for-fifty-years bookstore, and found the math book Yuffie required.

Yuffie: Here it is! Long division for dummies.

Tifa: Hahahaha! You're a dummy!

Yuffie: Uh...no! Shut up! Be quiet! I'm not a dummy!!!

Tifa: Then what's fifteen divided by three?! Huh?!

Yuffie: Um...Threeve?

Tifa: Nice try, but you're too stupid to know its V! Ha! Fifteen divided by three is V!

Yuffie: Shut up! Shut up! Just let me buy my book you smarty pants! At least I don't wear orthopedic underwear!

Tifa: *sniff* that's...a sensitive subject...

Yuffie: Uh huh. *Walks over to cashier* I'll take this book.

Tifa: How much money do you have???

Yuffie: I have threeve dollars and V cents.

Tifa: That should be enough.

Cashier: That'll be $16.03

Yuffie: *Hands her 5 threeve dollar bills*

Cashier: Uh...What IS this?

Yuffie: Homemade money!

Cashier: Right...*Frantically presses the silent alarm* Damn! Stupid thing is broken!

Yuffie: Well if you wont take that, then how about this? *Gives cashier two ten-dollar bills*

Cashier: *Hands back 3 single bills, 2 quarters, 5 dimes and 3 Canadian pennies*

Yuffie: Dear...G...G...od... *walks out of the store trembling and shaking*

Tifa: What's wrong?

Yuffie: She gave me 3 Canadian pennies! Not American pennies, CANADIAN pennies!

Tifa: So?

Yuffie: I just lost a cent! She ruined my day! It was perfect until that BITCH HAD TO GIVE ME THREE CANADIAN PENNIES!!!

Tifa: Who cares?

Yuffie: I do! I'm gonna go inside, and beat her skanky ass down! *Runs inside and gets the cashier lady into a headlock* Stupid piece of shit! Giving me Canadian pennies! WELL CANADIAN THIS BITCH! *Shakes the cashier around violently with the headlock*

Tifa: Stop it Yuffie! I see one of dem silent alarms!

Yuffie: Your dumb! You can't SEE silent alarms, you have to HEAR them!

Tifa: Oh yes I do! Look! *Points to a sale sign outside the window* It says alarm! And it's silent too!

Yuffie: You're stupid! *Drops the lady* Let me show you what it says! *Drags Tifa outside and shows her that instead of Alarm, it says '50% The Alamo: A historical novel'* See! It's the Alambamabo! Not alarm! Can't you read?!

Cashier: *Stands up shakily, rubbing her neck, and grabbing a chair, slams it into Yuffie's back knocking her down* Bitch! Let's see you headlock THAT!

Me (Narrator): Welcome to FF7 Bitch Slapdooooooooooooooown! On the right, under the sign, weighing in at nearly 120 lbs, and standing only 5'7, it's Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuffie Kisaragi! (Or whatever) On the left, a disgruntled high school dropout, weighing in at an outstanding 250 lbs, yet only 5'2, its theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee cashier! Lets get ready to rumbleeeeeeeeeee! Taking the first move, Yuffie bitch-slaps the cashier, sending her flying into the window! Cashier doesn't take it well, and grabs a bag of sand and sends it flying-ON YUFFIES HEAD! Oh! That's GOTTA hurt! Yuffie retaliates by doing a double backhand cleaning bitchslap! That is where she raises both her hands forming an X, kisses the back of them, and slaps the opponent at the same time with both of them! Usually used after a harsh- brake up, or when in Richard Simmon's audience! Lets see that again! In slow motion! Ooh! There is the point of contact! Look at the pissed off rage glaring in the cashier's eye! What could this ignite? Possibly an outrageously cheap can of gasoline stored in the back, and the cashier ran inside in record time, and the cashier throws it at Yuffie! Then, lighting a match, throws it at the can. Being as she is a high school dropout, she fails to remember that the plastic container of the can is not flammable! Nice try though! Yuffie, being even more stupid, picks up the match and drops it in the gasoline, which is RIGHT NEXT TO HER! The cashier flies back, smashes down a wall, and is engulfed by dust! Yuffie flies back and uses the silicone (Yes they ARE fake!) breasts of Tifa to absorb the shock, and to fill a lesbian fantasy of Tifa's! Not intentionally, but there, she did it! Using this chance as a break, both of them run away!

-Back at Dorm-

Yuffie: Phew! I haven't fought like that since...um...Well since I argued with Cloud that you can taste colors!

Tifa: Yeah, totally! You can SOOOO taste colors! Just this morning, I tasted the color orange in orange juice!

Yuffie: You're stupid.

Tifa: You're stupid!

Chapter Five: Coming soon!

Authors short and lengthy note: Hey! Thanks everyone for reading this, um, I hope its funny. I may be funny, but then again, looks aren't everything! Please, pretty pretty preeeeetty please write your review, or something. Most of the stuff here is based on stuff that actually happened from my life (Canadian Penny, threeve dollars, ect.) and um.that's about it. Oh yeah, I'm almost done with the college section of this story. Pretty soon Yuffie will work at McRonalds! Yay! Well, peace, Im outtie.

~][)ark][)ude~