Part 8
"Wow Jake…you look…beautiful," Bella gasped as Jake came out of the dressing room.
"Really?"
"Yes. Really."
Bella stood up from the chair she was sitting in and approached Jake. She looked radiant. The white fabric of the gown formed around her body, showing off her figure, fitting in all the right places. It showed off her toned arms and shoulders, and her skin, which seemed to glow around the dress. It was almost like her body was part of the design. It was simple, yet exquisite—just like her.
"You think Hamilton will like it?"
Bella smiled, "Like it? He'll love it. He loves you."
Jake stepped up on the circular platform as the seamstress made some final adjustments. She sighed and tugged at the ends of her hair. It was short again, a little longer than it was when she first met Hamilton,
but definitely styled in a more feminine manner.
"Well, that would be good considering I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him."
Jake looked down at Bella, sensing that there was something was bothering her. She hadn't said anything to indicate that there was something amiss. That was just it. Besides talking about the wedding, Bella hadn't really said anything at all.
"You don't like your dress? We can always get another," Jake offered, secretly hoping that the dress was the worst of Bella's troubles.
She shook her head in dissent. "No, the dress is great," she said unenthusiastically.
"Then what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Bella…please," Jake pleaded, looking her friend straight in the eyes. "Please."
The seamstress finished working on Jake's gown and directed her to remove it. As she did, she continued to stare at Bella, waiting for some kind of rejoinder.
She retreated to the dressing room for a few minutes and upon her return, sat next to Bella on the chair. Bella's hands were clasped together, her chin down as she twiddled her thumbs.
"You know it wouldn't hurt to tell me what's going on with you. I am your friend. I can help, or try to."
"Jake…it's…now isn't the time to talk about this. I mean with the wedding and everything. I just don't want to burden you with my petty little problems."
Jake placed her hand on Bella's shoulder and assured her, "Bell, no problem is petty or little. I'm worried about you. You haven't been yourself since you got here."
Her eyes were still cast down as Jake spoke. There was no reaction from her—none whatsoever—not even a slight movement of her body. She'd seen this look before. Hell, she'd had this look before. That lovesick, 'I don't want to talk about it because it hurts too much' look. In the last few conversations Jake had with Bella before she came to New York, there was no mention of such a man who could have possibly rendered Bella's dire state. In fact, up until her arrival, she seemed to be perfectly fine. But then, there was her unusual quietness during breakfast this morning, and her reticent manner whenever they were all together—especially after the events of the previous night. Then, it dawned on her.
Knowing that she had come to the right conclusion, Jake whispered, "This is about Scout, isn't it?"
Finally lifting her head, she sighed, "Is it that obvious?"
"It is…" Jake trailed off. "And it isn't. Instincts remember?"
Laughing a bit, "Yeah, I remember."
"You wanna tell me what's going on or am I going to have to ask Scout?"
"No…Scout h-he…he doesn't know. About me. About this. About how I feel."
"Maybe you should tell him then," Suddenly realizing how long Bella had been keeping her affection clandestine, Jake said compassionately, "This must be killing you. You have to tell him."
"Tell him. After eight years, just tell him. Tell him that I lied to him. That I pretended not be in love with him when the truth of it all is I loved him so much it hurt. It still does."
"All the more reason say something."
"I can't. I just can't."
"Why? What's standing in your way?"
"I am."
"I don't follow."
"The fear, the thought that he doesn't feel the same way. It's easier to pretend that I don't love him than to say that I really do."
It pained Jake to see her friend in such turmoil. It hurt her even more when she realized that what Bella was going through right now was the same thing Will had endured for all those years. He had kept it all to himself and the outcome of his revelation was the same one Bella feared—rejection.
"This can't be easy for you."
"It isn't and it hasn't been. But…" she paused, biting her bottom lip. "I survived."
I survived. De ja vu. Those were the same words she'd spoken to Hamilton just three months before, as they sat in the airport waiting for his flight to board; the flight that eventually brought him back to New York and back to Jake.
"You survived, but you never let go. Not for a second. I can see that part clearly."
"Jake, I'm not ready to say anything just yet."
Standing up, she answered, "Just yet? I think eight years has been sufficient amount of time to mull this over. Just tell him. What have you got to lose?"
Bella, now up as well, replied softly, "Everything."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Do I look good or what?" Scout asked as he emerged from behind a standing divider, adorned in a tuxedo.
Though they tried hard not to laugh, Hamilton and Will could not contain themselves. It's not that he looked bad, but he was having way too much fun modeling off his suit for his friends.
"What?" Scout questioned when no reply came. "Jealous?"
This just caused them to laugh even harder. Will was practically tearing when he answered sarcastically, "Oh yeah. Totally."
Calming down a bit, Hamilton added, "It looks great. Now could you hurry up and change? We still gotta hit a few places before the rehearsal."
"Okay okay. Just give me a minute," he said as he moved behind the divider. A second later, he popped his head out, "But I looked good right?"
Simultaneously, they responded, "Yes!"
Scout smiled and reverted behind the wall, leaving Will and Hamilton alone for what was probably only the second time since Will's return.
"So…" Will started.
"So…"
Neither of them knew what to say. It was like they did not know how to act around each other anymore. Come tomorrow, Will's best friend would become Hamilton's wife. Not only his best friend, but the woman he had been in love with for as long as he could remember.
Silence replaced their laughter. Will glanced at Hamilton, whose face betrayed his thought. From the expression on his face, it was obvious that there was something on his mind—something gravely serious—for Will never saw that look on Hamilton before, only when it was something deeply troubling.
Before Will could say anything, Hamilton abruptly announced, "Jake's dad wants to come to the wedding."
Will's jaw dropped. "Her dad? Jake's dad? Does she know about this?"
"Not yet. I don't think it's a good time to tell her."
"And when would be a good time Ham? When he asks if he can walk her down the aisle?"
"Will, I really don't know what to do about this. I didn't even talk to him—Scout did."
"Scout? Why Scout?"
Upon hearing his name, Scout came out and chimed in, "Because he knew that if he had called Jake or Hamilton, they would've probably hung up. Whereas calling me, her agent, would have been…"
"The safe bet," Will finished. "The easiest way to get to go to the wedding without having to deal with an ugly confrontation beforehand."
"Exactly."
"That doesn't mean there isn't going to be an ugly confrontation," Hamilton quickly added, looking from Scout to Will. "What am I going to do? There is no way I can tell Jake without getting her upset. I don't want to ruin tomorrow for her, but I can't keep the truth from her either."
Comforting Hamilton was the last thing Will ever thought he'd do. He loved Jake too much, too much to prevent her from having eternal happiness. However, he also had too much pride to admit to himself that Hamilton was that eternal happiness. He knew it was true, yet it was just too hard to say it. And it was that same pride that hindered Will from being the best friend he could be to Hamilton—the kind of friend he used to be.
"There's nothing else you can do. You gotta tell her. Tonight."
Hamilton shot Will an "Are you sure?" look. "Yeah. Tonight," Will said.
Hamilton, though still perturbed by the feelings Will gravitated towards Jake, accepted Will's solution. Oddly, he found confidence in Will's deduction, not only because he was Jake's best friend; it was also because he loved Jake and it was that love that made him want the best for her—just as Hamilton did.
The two looked at each other for a second, some sort of unspoken dialogue running between them. They just understood. And in that moment, the awkwardness and tension that had built up between them began to fade.
"Well that's settled," Scout declared, smiling at the bonding moment he had just witnessed.
