"Rocky Road or Chocolate Chip

"Rocky Road or Chocolate Chip?" Scout yelled from the kitchen.

"A scoop of both," Bella replied from her seat on the living room couch. "Make that a double scoop of both."

To that Scout answered jokingly, "And I thought Ham was a pig." He laughed to himself, "Get it…Ham…pig?"

Bella laughed too. "Ham…pig…got it!"

He came into view, with the bowls of ice cream in his hands. "Double scoops of rocky road and chocolate chip for the lady."

"Thank you kind Sir. And may I ask what you are having?" she questioned him, as she dug her spoon into the frozen dessert.

"A SINGLE scoop of Rocky Road."

Bella, with the first spoonful already finished, just rolled her eyes at him. She continued to eat her ice cream at a rapid pace. When she finished, Scout was still having his last mouthful.

She got up and put her bowl in the sink. She turned to see the time on the microwave. 1:48.

"It's pretty late so I should…" she started as she walked back to him.

Scout stood up at this. "Get going," he finished for her, "Yeah it's almost two."

"Well then," she continued as she traveled to the door. "See you at the wedding tomorrow…right?"

"Yeah…see ya…at the wedding…tomorrow…right," Scout gulped.

He was right behind her. She knew she shouldn't have, but she turned around and in doing so, met Scout's eyes…and almost his lips.

Neither of them knew what to say or do next. Both fighting their feelings—feelings of want and desire.

Scout wanted to kiss her—so badly. He stared at her lips…soft, delicate, and beautiful. Instinctively, he knew what he should do. But he couldn't bring himself to press his lips to hers. He knew what kissing her would mean—that he still felt something for her…something more than like…something more than friendship. He wasn't ready to go through that with her yet. Not after what had happened between them in the past. He couldn't go through that again. He just couldn't.

* * * flashback* * *

It was prom night, a night he'd been looking forward to for a long time, not because he was excited about the dance itself, but rather, who his date would be—Bella. Over a year had passed since her mother had come to town and revealed the truth about her father's paternity. Fortunately, it turned out not to be his father after all. Still, with the emergence of those facts, nothing changed between them. They stayed friends as they had always been—or better put, had always pretended to be. In spite of it all, Scout still loved Bella and he knew that. SHE knew that. But she didn't love him. At least…that's what she led everyone to believe. Everyone, including herself. Something inside her held her back from ever letting him know how she truly felt. Maybe it was pride. Maybe it was fear.

The fear that she'd hurt him. That they'd hurt each other.

Or maybe…the fear of actually feeling something—something that you only find once in a lifetime.

True love.

She reluctantly agreed to go with him, knowing that being with him there would make it harder for her to fight her feelings. She wanted to say no, but something inside her answered, "Yes." Perhaps it was that same something that knew how much she really loved him. That same something that knew, they were meant for each other.

So, they went to the prom, the handsomest couple there; Bella, the envy of every girl in attendance. They laughed, they mingled, they danced. It was a wonderful time for both of them—all the tension and anxiety that lay between them seemed gone. It was over all too quickly and somehow, they ended up back in Scout and Will's dorm room.

When they entered, Will was not there, and since Bella didn't have to be home until 3, the two decided to just hang out in the room and wait for Will. That was their excuse. They both knew that they'd come back to his room for a reason—to be alone.

Nothing happened in the two hours Bella and Scout had been in the room. They'd enjoyed the time they spent together because most of the time, they were surrounded by all the others.

It was 10 minutes to three when Bella rose from her place on Will's bed. "I guess I'd better get going. Don't wanna pull a Grace!"

They both laughed at the mention of her younger sister, so unlike her…so much more like…her mother. Bella was the good kid, the reliable one, the one who did the right thing. Most of the time anyway.

"Yeah, before Charlie has a heart attack."

He followed her to the door; she was walking slowly, as if she was not ready to leave. And she wasn't. She didn't want to leave him. Not now. Not ever.

She turned around quickly. "Thank you for inviting me Scout. I had a wonderful time."

He smiled, "Me too. I can't imagine having spent this night with anyone else."

"Me either."

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, completely lost in one another. They moved closer to each other, their hands touching, their lips only centimeters apart.

She felt him take her hand and at his touch, she shuddered, the contact making her feel like an electric current was running through her body. It had been two years since they'd been this close, this intimate. Suddenly, she couldn't remember why'd she fought so hard to stay away from him. Or why she'd denied what she really felt—love. Love was all she ever felt for Scout Calhoun. And it was all she'd ever feel for him.

All reasoning was lost. All she wanted to do was be with him. In this moment. In this life.

Then, it happened.

"I love you, Scout."

He couldn't believe what he'd heard. He'd waited so long for her to say those three words. Just when it seemed like that would never happen, she'd gone and said it. In saying so, everything changed. Nothing would ever be the same again. He would never be the same again.

He closed his eyes and brushed his lips with hers. She closed her eyes too, kissing him back, passionately and deeply. He let go of her hand and put one hand on the side of her face, while the other rested on her neck.

They continued to kiss as Scout turned her so that his back was now to the door and hers to the bed. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing their bodies closer together, as he walked her back toward his bed.

A million thoughts raced through her head, yet the only one that came up clear was, 'I want you.'

She heaved as he trailed kisses down her neck and collarbone; his arms now traveled down to her waist. She'd never done this before, and neither had he. It was new to them and yet somehow, it seemed so familiar. As if it had happened before—in some other life, in some other time.

The back of her knees touched his bed; they stopped there as Scout brought his lips back to hers, and placing his hands on the zipper of her dress, began to pull down on it, loosening her dress from her body. As he did this, she unbuttoned his shirt, pulling off both sides, exposing his well-toned body.

They broke away from that kiss and examined each other, Bella's dress was now down at her ankles, leaving her only in a strapless bra and underwear.

They smiled at one another as Scout surmised for what must have been the thousandth time how beautiful she really was. Again, he brought his lips to hers and she answered it with a hungry kiss. He couldn't believe this was happening. Nothing in his life had ever felt more real or right than this—being with her.

She stepped out of the dress and allowed him to gently push her back onto the bed. He laid down next to her, looking at her with love-filled eyes. Before moving any further, he wanted to make sure that she was as ready for this as he was.

"Bella, are you sure?" he asked tentatively.

She responded with an ear-to-ear grin. "Yes Scout. I'm sure."

He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. He held her face in his hands and opened his eyes, whispering, "I love you Bella. I always have. Always will."

"I know," she said sweetly.

This time, their kiss was hot and lusty. There was no turning back now. Bella started to tug at the hem of Scout's pants, still kissing him ardently, his hands moving up and down her sides.

The sound of the door creaking caused Bella's eyes to flutter open and jump out of her delirium. She gasped as she saw the figure of Will Krudski standing in the doorway.

Stunned, "Oh…I uh…I…whoa…sorry."

Scout lifted himself from Bella and started toward Will. "It's o-okay. We were just umm…Bella and I…"

"Look, I'll just go." Embarrassed, he abruptly left, shutting the door behind him. Scout turned back to Bella, and to his surprise, she was off the bed, her dress already on, and she was putting her shoes back on.

"Bella, what are you…what are you doing?"

Catching her breath, she answered calmly, "I think I'd better be getting home. I'm late as it is."

Scout sighed, perplexed and slightly disheartened. "Uh…okay…can I walk you home at least?"

"No I'll be fine."

As before, she paused at the door and looked at him. He looked so different from the innocent boy she had met that first summer; now all grown up, that joyful innocence gone. The bliss of ignorance and the shield from the real world had crumbled around him when he was still too young to really understand. In spite of it all, at the center of him, he was the same—generous, caring, thoughtful, sincere—all the things that had made her fall in love with him and all the things that had kept her in love with him.

"I'll call you in the morning. I'm sorry about Will… I didn't think he was…I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," she replied sweetly. "Guess it wasn't the right time, huh? We always kinda had bad timing."

"Yeah," he laughed.

He planted a tender kiss on her lips. "Good night. I love you."

She kissed him again. "I know. I love you too."

* * *

Scout lay awake, the early morning sunlight pouring in through the window and onto his body which rested outside the blankets due to the heat that filled the room that June morn. He'd been awake for an hour and hadn't budged from his bed, nor had his stare from the ceiling. He just lay there, taking it all in, trying to figure out what the night's events all meant.

He remembered it all and smiled at the thought of what had almost happened. They'd almost had sex. Wait, it was more than just sex. It meant more than just something physical. They'd almost made love. Total cohesion of body, heart, and soul. Becoming one—in mind and in spirit.

It didn't matter that Will had interrupted them because there was so much more meaning in that night than just the physical aspect for him.

'I love you, Scout.'

If nothing else had happened, those words would have been enough to fulfill him for a lifetime.

Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed that Bella had entered the room. He stood up and looked at her—her expression was something he'd never seen before. He couldn't comprehend what it meant, but all he knew was that it scared him.

"Morning," he said exuberantly, leaning in to kiss her.

"Hi," she responded vacantly as she let him kiss her. However, she did not return the gesture. Instead, "We need to talk."

He moved closer to her, but she only stepped back, her arms crossed in front of her. He furrowed his brow and asked, "Is something wrong?"

It's over

You don't need to tell me

I hope you'll be with someone

Who makes you feel safe in your sleeping tonight

I won't kill myself trying to stay in your life

I've got no distance left to run

She plopped down on Will's bed, as Scout sat back down on his own. "Yeah, yeah there is."

Worried, he placed his hand on top of hers. "You can tell me."

She'd spent most of the night up, thinking about not the fact that they'd almost slept together, but the fact that she'd told him how she felt. That she loved him. She'd been in a blissful state that entire morning until she realized…that in those words lay her future—and his. She knew that Scout had waited what seemed like ages for her just to say that to him. Now that he had her and he knew the truth, he'd never let her go. He'd do whatever it took just to be with her—even if it meant giving up on the dreams and plans he'd made for himself. She couldn't let him do that. She wouldn't.

She flinched and stood up. "You're not going to want to hear this, but hear it goes."

Bella looked at him, his eyes intent on her, concern filling them. She couldn't believe what she was about to say. Yet, she couldn't NOT say it. His life depended on her telling him this and if she didn't say it now, she' d never have the courage to do it.

When you see me

Please turn your back and walk away

I don't wanna see you

'Cause I know the dreams that you keep

That's where we meet

When you're coming down

Think of me here

I've got no distance left to run

This was it. This was the moment.

"I don't love you Scout."

Scout felt his heart sink to his stomach. A sharp pain pierced his side, his head spun. He'd heard what she'd just said, but it couldn't be true? Could it?

"W-what?"

Conjuring every ounce of courage and will in her body, Bella said once more, "I don't love you Scout." Bella regretted it the moment she said it. She looked at him—his face sullen, his body completely still.

Scout just sat there…shocked, shattered…taking it in. She'd said it twice now, so she meant it. Maybe it wasn't a total shock, considering the kind of history the two of them had. Still, it felt like a body blow.

"I…I don't accept that."

"You have to."

"How can you say that? After what happened last night? How can you stand here and tell me you don't love me?"

"Nothing happened last night, Scout."

"What are you talking about? Are you delusional? You stood here…in my room, looked me in the eyes and told me that you loved me. Then…we almost…"

"Key word—almost," she answered, the tone in her voice getting harsher at every rejoinder. She was yelling now, desperately doing her best to mask the truth. "I'm sorry but I don't know what I was thinking. I was just caught up in the moment…in the whole night. I wanted to feel something for you Scout. It's just…I don't. I realize that now and what happened last night…it was a mistake. I don't love you. That's the truth."

It tormented her to lie to him like this—to him…of all people…Scout…her one and only true love. It was too much to bear. Her agony deepened at every word, at every glance of his now sullen and joyless face. He'd been her reason for existing, she knew that now...she'd never felt such ecstacy...or such pain...than what she felt when she was with him. But the pain was taking over now...she could no longer speak...just stand there and wait...wait for it to be over.

His sorrow cut her up inside—breaking her into a thousand pieces, leaving a void so deep—too deep to fathom. She could hardly breathe.

Scout, numb with pain, could do nothing but look at her—lost, so lost. "Is this really happening?" he got out finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

Bella stayed silent. She looked at him for what would be the last time. 'I'm sorry, but I can't give you what you need. So, I have to let you go,' she thought to herself, tears building.

It's over

I knew it would end this way

I've got no distance left to run

Without another word or action, she left.

And he let her.

Scout began to walk to the door, but he was too broken to make it. He fell to his knees and stayed there for what seemed like and eternity. Then…the tears were upon him.

*** end flashback***

Scout stepped in closer to her, maneuvering his arm around her, turning the knob of the door and opening it. He wasn't going to let her do this to him. Not this time.

"See you at the wedding," he said curtly.

His heart ached…and hers broke into tiny pieces.

Bella, realizing that he still wasn't over what she'd done that unforgettable morning eight years ago, replied, "Yeah, see ya."

She made her way through the door and walked down the hall, never turning back.

Had she done so, she would've seen Scout leaning against the doorframe watching her go.

What on earth is going on in my heart

Has it turned as cold as stone

Seems like these days I don't feel anything

Less it cuts me right down to the bone

What on earth is going on in my heart

My oh my you know it just don't stop

It's in my mind I wanna tear it up

I've tried to fight it, tried to turn it off

But it's not enough

It takes a lotta love

It takes a lotta love my friend

To keep your heart from freezing

To push on till the end

My oh my

What on earth is going on in my head

You know I used to be so sure

You know I used to be so definite

Thought I knew what love was for

I look around these days and I'm not sure

My oh my you know I just can't win

I burn it down it comes right back again

What kind of world is this we're living in

Where you never win

It takes a lotta love

It takes a lotta love my friend

To keep your heart from freezing

To keep your spirit free

My oh my you know it just don't stop