*I probably shoulda put this in the beginning, but, in the matter of
distribution, if ya want it, just email me, cuz the more people who read
this, the better. angel_chic101@hotmail.com or amarie@wirefire.com
Rating: I also should change the rating from PG to R, for language and sexual refrences. (Wow, I just sounded really old a stuffy.)*
"So, I see he didn't tell you?" Darla had a wicked smile across her face.
"Angel?" Buffy's look was pleading for it not to be true, but his eyes told her the worst. "Tell me this isn't what I think it is. Tell me please Angel!"
"Yeah, Daddy, why don't you tell her how you knocked me up. Wait a minute, I just did," Darla said as she ran her finger up one of Angel's arms then across the back of his shoulders.
"Angel. you did this?"
"Buffy, I meant to tell you. I was TRYING to tell you."
"I'm sure you were Angel." Darla's sarcasm came ripping through. "I'm sure you were."
Darla walked around Buffy and Angel, sensing the anger, resentment, fear, and sadness between the two.
Buffy continued to stand there, stunned. She didn't know what to say. All kinds of thoughts ran through her head, none of which she knew how to put into words. Darla pacing around her with a pregnant stomach didn't help either.
"Darla, just leave us alone. Go upstairs!" He had a harsh tone in his voice that almost never cam out. He didn't know how to ever apologize for the pain he had just caused her, but getting Darla out of the room was a start.
Darla turned and walked upstairs silently. Her work was done, and she was genuinely tired. She had only stayed because the look on Buffy's face was an image that she would remember forever.
Suddenly, all of Buffy's emotions wrapped themselves up into just one: anger. Anger at Angel for not telling her, and for having sex with Darla in the first place. Anger at Darla for. just being Darla and rubbing it into her face. But most of all, anger at herself for letting him get to her this much, after promising herself that she would at least TRY to get over him.
"Angel, how could you do this? How could you go and sleep with someone and not tell me? Ok, so maybe you couldn't have tole me while I was dead, but there was still plenty of time before that! And DARLA of all people? Did you forget that she tried to kill me?" The tears crept back into Buffy's eyes. Her voice, as shaky as its outer tone sounded, was strangely resolved and determined.
"That's not fair, Buff. You have been with TWO other guys since me."
"Not fair? You wanna talk about not fair? How fair is it that you can go and have sex with Darla, keep your soul, and get her pregnant, when vampires can't even HAVE babies. She's having your child Angel, a child that I always thought. I always dreamt that WE would be having. And the only reasons I was with them was because I couldn't be with you. Because you left me." The tears were flowing freely now, and Buffy made no attempt to hold them back.
"Buffy, you know that I was only doing it for YOU to be happy."
"Yeah, Angel. That's what you've told me. I clearly remember you telling me that I should be with normal boys. And that's what I was doing, trying to be with normal, HUMAN guys. But they didn't reach me, reach my soul, the way you did, Angel. Why do you think that I let Riley leave? I thought you felt the same way too." Hurt, pain, anger, all the emotions she had kept locked up inside her since her senior prom, in a place she rarely ever wanted to visit, were all being released now.
"You know you always were, and always will be my girl, Buff."
/She thinks I don't love her anymore. I never stopped loving her. I never did. I never will. I just make one damn mistake and my whole world comes crumbling down? I guess that's what happens when you've done as many bad things as I. You walk a thin line, and one tiny step off, and everything goes to Hell. But maybe Hell was better. At least there I knew that Buffy loved me, and I had told her I loved her. /
"Yeah. That's what I thought too. But you know? You had choices. You CHOSE to have sex with Darla. You knew the risk you ran and you did it anyway. I was only with Riley because I thought that's what you wanted. I thought you wanted me to be with normal guys. Why you didn't lose your soul I don't know, and don't really want to talk about tonight." She took a deep breath and tried to wipe away the tears with her sleeve.
"I never wanted you to be with other guys. I wanted you to be happy, and that's what I thought would make you happy, because you deserve that."
"You're wrong Angel." Her long rant and the expelling of emotions that had just taken place had made her fell empty and used up. Everything seemed to rush out of her and she felt completely numb. Her eyes got hazy and her movements slow and mechanical.
"Buffy, I'm so sorry." Angel reached out to take her arm, but she pulled away.
She walked slowly over to the basement door and went down, taking each step at a time. She looked around for the others. Her presence had silence everyone- Cordy and Gunn flipping through some old books, Wes and Fred hovered over a laptop with some old scrolls laying beside it. They just stared at her tear-stained face and now-soaking sleeve.
"Umm.can I stay with someone tonight?" she managed to get out, meekly.
Without saying a word, Cordy got out of her seat and headed up stairs, with Buffy following a distant second. Cordy grabbed Buffy's duffel off the couch and headed out the door to her car.
The ride to Cordelia's was silent. Buffy didn't notice the bright neon lights whizzing past her, a little quicker than average, since Cordy wasn't exactly going the speed limit. All she could see was a pregnant image of Darla, and her calling Angel 'Daddy.'
They both walked silently into Cordy's house. Buffy walked into the room Cordelia had designated as hers for the night, and immediately lay down on the bed. She didn't notice that the room was probably Cordelia's, telling by the decorating. She didn't notice the ghost gently pulling the blankets up around her. She didn't notice herself shaking, or the kleenex floating around her head, trying to wipe up her uncontrollable tears.
Rating: I also should change the rating from PG to R, for language and sexual refrences. (Wow, I just sounded really old a stuffy.)*
"So, I see he didn't tell you?" Darla had a wicked smile across her face.
"Angel?" Buffy's look was pleading for it not to be true, but his eyes told her the worst. "Tell me this isn't what I think it is. Tell me please Angel!"
"Yeah, Daddy, why don't you tell her how you knocked me up. Wait a minute, I just did," Darla said as she ran her finger up one of Angel's arms then across the back of his shoulders.
"Angel. you did this?"
"Buffy, I meant to tell you. I was TRYING to tell you."
"I'm sure you were Angel." Darla's sarcasm came ripping through. "I'm sure you were."
Darla walked around Buffy and Angel, sensing the anger, resentment, fear, and sadness between the two.
Buffy continued to stand there, stunned. She didn't know what to say. All kinds of thoughts ran through her head, none of which she knew how to put into words. Darla pacing around her with a pregnant stomach didn't help either.
"Darla, just leave us alone. Go upstairs!" He had a harsh tone in his voice that almost never cam out. He didn't know how to ever apologize for the pain he had just caused her, but getting Darla out of the room was a start.
Darla turned and walked upstairs silently. Her work was done, and she was genuinely tired. She had only stayed because the look on Buffy's face was an image that she would remember forever.
Suddenly, all of Buffy's emotions wrapped themselves up into just one: anger. Anger at Angel for not telling her, and for having sex with Darla in the first place. Anger at Darla for. just being Darla and rubbing it into her face. But most of all, anger at herself for letting him get to her this much, after promising herself that she would at least TRY to get over him.
"Angel, how could you do this? How could you go and sleep with someone and not tell me? Ok, so maybe you couldn't have tole me while I was dead, but there was still plenty of time before that! And DARLA of all people? Did you forget that she tried to kill me?" The tears crept back into Buffy's eyes. Her voice, as shaky as its outer tone sounded, was strangely resolved and determined.
"That's not fair, Buff. You have been with TWO other guys since me."
"Not fair? You wanna talk about not fair? How fair is it that you can go and have sex with Darla, keep your soul, and get her pregnant, when vampires can't even HAVE babies. She's having your child Angel, a child that I always thought. I always dreamt that WE would be having. And the only reasons I was with them was because I couldn't be with you. Because you left me." The tears were flowing freely now, and Buffy made no attempt to hold them back.
"Buffy, you know that I was only doing it for YOU to be happy."
"Yeah, Angel. That's what you've told me. I clearly remember you telling me that I should be with normal boys. And that's what I was doing, trying to be with normal, HUMAN guys. But they didn't reach me, reach my soul, the way you did, Angel. Why do you think that I let Riley leave? I thought you felt the same way too." Hurt, pain, anger, all the emotions she had kept locked up inside her since her senior prom, in a place she rarely ever wanted to visit, were all being released now.
"You know you always were, and always will be my girl, Buff."
/She thinks I don't love her anymore. I never stopped loving her. I never did. I never will. I just make one damn mistake and my whole world comes crumbling down? I guess that's what happens when you've done as many bad things as I. You walk a thin line, and one tiny step off, and everything goes to Hell. But maybe Hell was better. At least there I knew that Buffy loved me, and I had told her I loved her. /
"Yeah. That's what I thought too. But you know? You had choices. You CHOSE to have sex with Darla. You knew the risk you ran and you did it anyway. I was only with Riley because I thought that's what you wanted. I thought you wanted me to be with normal guys. Why you didn't lose your soul I don't know, and don't really want to talk about tonight." She took a deep breath and tried to wipe away the tears with her sleeve.
"I never wanted you to be with other guys. I wanted you to be happy, and that's what I thought would make you happy, because you deserve that."
"You're wrong Angel." Her long rant and the expelling of emotions that had just taken place had made her fell empty and used up. Everything seemed to rush out of her and she felt completely numb. Her eyes got hazy and her movements slow and mechanical.
"Buffy, I'm so sorry." Angel reached out to take her arm, but she pulled away.
She walked slowly over to the basement door and went down, taking each step at a time. She looked around for the others. Her presence had silence everyone- Cordy and Gunn flipping through some old books, Wes and Fred hovered over a laptop with some old scrolls laying beside it. They just stared at her tear-stained face and now-soaking sleeve.
"Umm.can I stay with someone tonight?" she managed to get out, meekly.
Without saying a word, Cordy got out of her seat and headed up stairs, with Buffy following a distant second. Cordy grabbed Buffy's duffel off the couch and headed out the door to her car.
The ride to Cordelia's was silent. Buffy didn't notice the bright neon lights whizzing past her, a little quicker than average, since Cordy wasn't exactly going the speed limit. All she could see was a pregnant image of Darla, and her calling Angel 'Daddy.'
They both walked silently into Cordy's house. Buffy walked into the room Cordelia had designated as hers for the night, and immediately lay down on the bed. She didn't notice that the room was probably Cordelia's, telling by the decorating. She didn't notice the ghost gently pulling the blankets up around her. She didn't notice herself shaking, or the kleenex floating around her head, trying to wipe up her uncontrollable tears.
