Part 15 

Scout glanced around the church at the more than 200 guests as he and Bella made their way to the altar.  He had never been too good with crowds, ironic considering he was the son of a senator, and was quite petrified that something would go awry as they made their procession.   Though he kept a straight face, seemingly at ease and unperturbed, his palms were sweaty, making his hands feel like they were drenched in water.

He glanced at Bella, smiling graciously at the guests who intently kept their gaze on the couple, praying that she could not tell how unsettled he really was.  They were half way down the aisle, but the feel of his clammy hands was as irritating as the feel of everyone's eyes on him.  Subtly, he rubbed his hands against his tuxedo, wiping of the transudation. 

"Nice move," Bella chortled, his move subtle, yet not subtle enough.  "Nervous are we?"

"No," Scout whispered back defensively.   She laughed a little more, which prompted him to add, "Okay, maybe a little."

"Scout Calhoun, scared of crowds…who would've thought?" she joked.  It was the longest exchange of words they had had since their parting that early morning.  

She thought she'd be uncomfortable walking down the aisle with him. However, what she felt as they made their way down the path was the antithesis of that.

It just felt right.

She couldn't deny that anymore.

'I love you, Scout,' she said to herself.  No, she couldn't deny it anymore.

The love she felt for Scout Calhoun.  Neither the years, nor the distance had changed that.  She had forced herself to believe that what she did was the right thing, the noble thing, the best thing; that if she had stayed with him, in the end, she'd be the one getting hurt. 

In the end, she still got hurt.  

They both did.

Now, she had the chance to fix it.  To undo the damage. 

She'd been hesitant…no…adamant about keeping her secret.  But after seeing him again, after all this time,  she couldn't lie to him anymore.  Never again.

They reached the foot of the altar where they parted, Scout taking his place next to Hamilton, while Bella stood on the opposite side.  Occasionally, he'd steal a glance—the A-line lavender dress complementing her tiny figure.  It was vaguely similar to another dress she'd once worn—her prom dress.

The euphony signaling Jake's entrance now filled the church as the guests stood up.  At the end of the long path, Jake and Will could be seen, arm-in-arm, slowly but surely making their way to the altar.

The sight of Jake in her wedding gown roused the same reaction Bella had the day before when she first saw Jake in her dress.  She was truly a sight to behold—the dress accentuating her natural beauty.  Her smile—a mile wide.  Her stare—completely focused on Hamilton, who smiled back at her, his blue eyes locking with her green haze.

Do you remember the first kiss?

Stars shooting across the sky

To come to such a place as this

You never left my mind

The memories of their years together flashed before her.

Sitting at their spot in Central Park.

Ice skating in Rockefeller Center.

Holding hands as they walked the streets of Manhattan.

Standing on the roof top to watch the sunrise.

And I draw a line

To your heart today

To your heart from mine

A line to keep us safe

Midnight rendezvous.

Forbidden glances.

Stolen kisses.

Whispered words in empty hallways, dark corners…

All through the rising sun

All through the circling years

You were the only one

Who could have brought me here

Motorcycle rides through the woods…

"Hi boy"

The day when Finn walked in on them in the showers.

Parent's Day at Rawley and the Regatta.

The old drive-in theater…the way he kept glancing over at her…the incredible tension between them.

"Hardy Boys…meets Nancy Drew."

…The Cotillion…

That first kiss on the roof top…

And I draw a line

To you heart today

To your heart from mine

A line to keep us safe

The time they broke up…

The day he returned home…

Their reconciliation.

The day he proposed…

…Today.

Will kept a steady countenance as they traveled towards the altar, a forced smile on his face.  He didn't want to look at her, because one glance and he knew…he'd lose it.  He'd scream out, do anything—anything—to make this stop…to make the pain go away.

The entire way, he stayed quiet, preparing himself to do the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life—give Hamilton Jake's hand in marriage.

She'd asked him to do it.  She told him that there was no one else she'd rather have walking her to the altar.

Unfortunately, he wanted to be the one she was meeting at the altar.

He knew how much it would hurt him to do it.

He said yes anyway.

Now, here he was…leading her to her destiny.   

They reached the foot of the altar; Hamilton was there, waiting for them—waiting for her. 

Jake turned to Will, her eyes wide, conveying the joy and rapture she was feeling inside.

He took her hand, but stayed their for a moment, knowing that he would never hold her like this again—not as Jacqueline Pratt.  In minutes, she would become a married woman.  She would become a wife—Hamilton's wife.  He thought he had accepted that simple fact; he thought that time had eased his pain. 

He was wrong. 

With a heavy heart, he did what he came to do—to say goodbye.  And to give her away.  For good.

He lifted her veil, giving her a kiss on the cheek, his body trembling.  The feel of her skin on his lips nearly drove him mad, a shot of pain running straight to his heart.  He shut his eyes tight for a split second, trying to block out the vision of her face. When he opened them again, she was looking at him, her heart burdened by the anguish she was causing him, the complexity of the situation bearing down on her mind.   She frowned for a moment, imbibing his pain before quickly regaining her composure.  The same pain Will felt running through his veins as he kissed her, she somehow felt too; that had always been the key to their friendship—the ability to empathize with one another, to feel exactly what the other person was feeling whether it be sorrow or bliss.

As Will placed her hand in Hamilton's, she felt him flinch, as if the action was causing him physical pain.

Will smiled weakly and Jake smiled back through the veil, knowing full well what she was doing to him.  If only she could do something to make it better.  But there was only one way…and she couldn't do that…because she loved Hamilton…not Will…not the way he wanted her to and certainly, not the way he needed her to.

"I couldn't have done this without you.  I love you," she whispered. 

Will stood there, unable to speak, unable to do anything but look at her, and feel as if his life was escaping him.

Hamilton turned to Will and mouthed, "Thank you."  Before Will could respond, the couple faced the priest.  The ceremony finally to begin. 

Immaculate in a tuxedo just like the one he wore the night of the Cotillion, Hamilton greeted his bride, smiling widely. "Hi boy."

"Hi boy," she said in return, interlocking her fingers with his.

Will stepped aside next to Bella, keeping his stare at something—something other than the bride and groom. He didn't even know what he was looking at.  He didn't know anything anymore.

The ceremony started, but he couldn't hear a word.  He could hear nothing, feel nothing.  It was like…he was dead inside. 

When Will finally came to, the priest's words came through loud and clear, "If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak or forever hold his peace."

Will just stood there.  Numb.

'Forever hold his peace.'

The words were on the tip of his tongue.  'I love you, Jake.'

Instead…nothing.

Nothing but paralyzing silence.

With this as the response to the priest's statement, he proceeded. 

"Hamilton and Jacqueline, since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and all present here today."

Jake and Hamilton faced each other, their eyes locking instantly.  They'd gone over this part of the ceremony in rehearsal, but it didn't feel like this.

Perfect.  No other word could describe this moment.

This was it.  This was really happening.

They looked at each other, intense love filling their eyes. 

No fears, no qualms, no regrets.

Only love.

From this moment life has begun

From this moment

You are the one

Right beside you

Is where I belong

From this moment on

"I can't remember what my life was like before I met you," Hamilton started his vows. "What I do remember is that I fell in love with you the first time I saw you—even though I thought you were a boy," he laughed, as did many of the other guests.  "And that scared me…because I didn't want to think that I could be in love with a boy.  But love knows no boundaries and you can't help who you love.   You taught me that, Jake.  You taught me what love really is.  And what I felt then, is nothing compared to what I feel now.   We've weathered many storms together.  We've been through so much.   And we're still standing.   We're still here.  Together.  You give me a sense of peace and joy that I only feel when I'm with you.  You make me feel like life is worth living—because I have you.  I love you, Jacqueline.    I will love you until the end of time."

Jake, her eyes glowing with tears, breathed in, and began her vows. 

From this moment I have been blessed

I live only for your happiness

And for your love I'd give my last breath

From this moment on

"I'm an actress…I've been acting for as long as I can remember…maybe my whole life.  When you left, I pretended that I was okay; that I had moved on and that my life was just fine without you.  That letting you go was the right thing to do.  I was giving the performance of my life.   But then you came back and I realized…that without you…there is no me.   From that moment on, I knew, I could never let you go again.  Hamilton, you are my soul, my life.  You accept me and love me for who I really am and for that, I love you," Jake said with a smile, holding back the tears.  "You love me—all of me—good, bad, with all my quirks.  You never judged me, or questioned me, you stood by me through everything. You put yourself on the line for me, you risked everything…because you loved me that much.  And that's why I love you, Hamilton.   Because you were there for me when no one else was and you loved me…when I thought no one did.  You were and always will be my best friend and I will cherish you forever."

 "I love you," they both whispered simultaneously.  They gazed into each other's eyes, both pairs brimming with tears.  Hamilton, unable to control them any longer, let the tears fall from his eyes.  He smiled as Jake shook her head, laughing a little, and gently brushed them off with her hand, while she steadfastly held onto his hand.

Sniffling could be heard from the guests, not a dry eye among them.  Kate Fleming hugged her husband's arm, her eyes red from crying.  Monica Pratt sat across from them, and making eye contact with Kate, flashed a smile, all the while her eyes swelling up with tears.  The two women had never really bonded before, but in that instant, they did.  The great love that existed between their only children had brought them together and given them such contentment that the only thing that they had ever wanted for their children had come to fruition—true love and happiness. 

For Will, watching Jake and Hamilton profess their love for each other was too much to take.  Jake's words struck his heart; his body giving way to this intense torment; he looked unsteady, as if he might collapse.

'You were and always will be my best friend.'

Those words stung at him…the cold truth hitting him like a freight train.

It only reiterated in his mind the fact that he would never mean as much to her as Hamilton did.  For what they had was stronger than anything he'd ever seen before; deeper than the oceans.   He could never touch that—what they had was too real. 

Bella looked over at Will.  Though he was trying to hide the pain and suffering he was experiencing, she could see right through him. 

She took his hand, squeezing it tight in hers to be his support…to be his friend.  He turned his face to her, his eyes moist, yet his face rigid and stoic.  She looked at him sympathetically, squeezing his hand a little tighter.  He squeezed back, for she was his only source of strength in this moment of despair.  Will held on tight, the sheer realization taking grasp of him. He suddenly felt weak—weaker—like his legs were going to give in.  Bella, not missing a beat, tightened her hold.

Scout quietly observed the exchange of vows, hoping to himself that one day, he would find someone who he loved—and who loved him—as much as Hamilton and Jake loved each other. 

Maybe, he already had.

Scout looked over in Bella's direction and for a second, their eyes met.  He made no gesture, no facial expression, just looked at her, biting her bottom lip, staring back at him with her blue-gray eyes.  It was only for an instant and almost immediately she turned away. 

Still, it was long enough for Scout to see—she was thinking that too.

The priest began again.  "The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in endless love.  It is a seal of the vows Hamilton and Jacqueline have made to one another.  May those who give these rings, and who wear them, may they forever live together in unity, love, and happiness for the rest of their lives."

Taking the ring from the ringer bearer, the five-year-old son of one of his cousins, Hamilton began the exchange of rings.

I give my hand to you with all my heart

Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start

You and I will never be apart

My dreams came true because of you

"Jake…"

"--queline, " Jake laughed,  reminding him that her given name had to be used. "Jacqueline."

This incited a laugh from the congregation and from Hamilton. "Jacqueline," he corrected himself, blushing, "I give you this ring as a symbol of our love.  With it, I wed you and give you my body, heart, and soul."

From this moment as long as I live

I will love you, I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment on

As soon as he finished, Jake took Hamilton's wedding band and slipped it on his finger.  "Hamilton, take and wear this ring as a symbol of our love.  With this ring, I thee wed, and commit my life to you forever."

"Since you have signified your love by exchange of vows and the exchange of rings," declared the priest," I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss the bride."

"With pleasure," Hamilton added, flashing his sideways smirk.

They looked at one another for a moment, happiness and elation overwhelming them. 

You're the reason I believe in love

And you're the answer to my prayers from up above

All we need is just the two of us

My dreams came true because of you

"I love you Mrs. Fleming," Hamilton said softly.

"I know," she answered sweetly.

Hamilton cupped her face and brought his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly.

Their first kiss as husband and wife. 

What a good first kiss it was. 

From this moment as long as I live

I will love you, I promise you this

From this moment

I will love you as long as I live

From this moment on