Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a young and naïve prince by the name of Kurt Angle. His palace was beautiful and his servants were...ugh...sane, but Prince Kurt was too full of himself to take notice of anything but his prided gold medals, which he won from freestyle wrestling tournaments held all over the globe. And thus the days passed in the palatial castle of Prince Kurt, as he wandered through the airy, exquisitely furnished hallways, gazing lovingly at his gold medals and recounting his stunning medal victories to whomever would listen.
One fateful evening on a cold, snowy winter, an old and haggard woman clad in all-black knocked on the stately palace doors. Prince Kurt happened to be the one forced to answer the door, since his two part sidekicks, part chief servants Edge and Christian were out trying to score dates with their Stacker 2 friend (don't ask!). Either way, it was just the palace's residents' luck that their prince happened to be the one to answer the door, as the wrinkled little old lady pleaded the prince for some shelter against the bitter cold. In return for the refuge, she offered him a single red rose. Prince Kurt, already bored that there wasn't anything gold and shiny in the deal and more than just a little bit irritated at having his quality time with his medals interrupted, told none too politely for the old hag to take a hike. Distraught at having been oh so cruelly denied shelter, the old lady reminded him to look past her appearance, as true beauty lied only on the inside, and once again pleaded desperately for refuge, only to have Kurt (literally) kick her out of his palace. Denying the old woman shelter so coldly, however, wasn't such a wise thing to do, as Prince Kurt found out when the old woman's visage disappeared in a brilliant flash of light to reveal a bewitching enchantress with golden tresses as bright as the sun. Angry at his cold and cruel manners, the gold-haired sorceress swore to Kurt that he would be punished. The cheerfully vain prince, however, had failed to take in a word she'd said, as he'd been too busy staring at her shiny gold hair and thinking to himself how perfectly it matched his medals. Frustrated, the enchantress bonked him on the head with her magic wand, pulled him to her by the collar, and informed him that he would be punished for his cruel ways. As Kurt Angle blinked, wondering why this nice lady with the hair that matched his medals to a perfection...yeah, they were both so gold and shiny...What was he supposed to be thinking of again? Anyway, Prince Kurt found out soon enough, as the enchantress with the shiny, gold hair that looked just like his medals and would go perfectly with them...ahem! Anyway, the enchantress with as of right now unknown colored hair cursed Prince Kurt Angle, his magnificent castle, and everybody else living inside of it, by turning the prince into a hideous beast and his servants into common household items. Prince Kurt, meanwhile, went into shock when he found out that he could no longer wear his precious gold medals, as they couldn't fit over his giant, beastly neck, and, dejected, hid out in his castle, too ashamed to be seen in public without his medals. His only connection to the outside world was through a magic mirror which he conveniently got from a place unknown. Meanwhile, the red rose that the sorceress had initially offered him when in her old woman disguise turned out to be an enchanted rose. If Prince Kurt could fall in love with someone, and if that girl loved him back, all before the last petal on the magical rose fell, the curse would be lifted from the castle. However, as the years passed by and not a single girl had even appeared at the castle doors, everybody but Prince Kurt sank into a dark despair (he was too busy still mourning the fact that he could no longer fit his gold medals over his giant, beastly head). For if all desirable (and even non-desirable) women were sent bolting from the castle thanks to Prince Kurt's constant babbling about his gold medals when he looked normal, then who in the world could possibly fall for him now that he was a beast? And babbling about both how he won his gold medals and how he could no longer fit them over his head?
