Disclaimer: you have heard it all before.

So this is it the final letter, but there is a chapter to come after this, sort of what happened next.



LETTER FIVE.

Harry,

Why? Why did you do that? Why didn't you just forget about me? I am not that important. I know you loved me wholly, but we could never be. I don't see why though Harry? I rejected you to save you and your friends. In rejecting you I expected you to get over it and try and save your friends in the final battle. But of course you were still grieving for me. But why? What is so good about me? I blame myself for those deaths. I know I didn't cause them directly of course, but then I did make you too upset to help them so I suppose it really is my fault that they are dead. I wish that it could have been some other way. But it's too late now. I wish when you asked me that I . no I would still have to say no to you. I did it because I care Harry. I loved you too much to let you get caught up in my world. I had to do in the way I did; I had to show you I wasn't who you thought I was. You had made me into a perfect man. I understand why because I did it to you too. Love has away of taking all those negative things about someone and turning them in to positives.

I saw all your positives everyday Harry. Everyday I walked past you I wanted to hold you. I wanted to brush your hair out of your eyes. I saw you there with those friends that would love you no matter what and realised that I would never know that again. I had known that once but that was unimportant to me now. I didn't want a friendly love; I wanted a love that was sacred. A love that was only for me and I could love this one in return. I know had I said yes to you then I would have had that but then I realised what that would mean. It would have meant hurting the only person that I had ever loved truly.

In saying no to you I hurt myself. I felt as if I had ripped out my own heart. I felt awful seeing how much you cared what I thought. Maybe I could have been more open about why I said now, but there is no use looking back now and trying to say forgive me. What happened, happened and there is no changing that. Could you Harry? Could you forgive me? Now that you know I tried to save you by saying no.

Do you not understand Harry? Am I not making it clear? Well then let me try again. I said no when you asked me if I loved you, because everything I love becomes ruined. I loved my friends and they are now either evil or dead. I loved school, and now that is destroyed. I loved my family and they are all gone. I have to live with this all the time. If I had loved you, you would be dead or hurt or unhappy and I couldn't do that to you. You deserve better than that. You deserve than a lover who lives a cursed life.

I have nothing to give you either Harry. I can not offer you anything, anything except my love and pain. That is never a good combination. I still dream of you Harry. I wake every morning with a thought of you, I sleep every night and dream of you, you fill my head all the time I am awake as well. But Harry I can't give you anything. For I am nothing to anyone. Anyone except you.

I miss you Harry and if you should decide to forgive me I may come back. But I need you to understand what you are letting yourself in for. I need you to understand that I can't always give you everything you need, not all the time. I can't always be there. I can't always offer you a moonlight stroll. Do you understand Harry? I hope so because I will go now. I may see you soon. But for now just remember me.

Adieu Harry, from the man who loved you with all his soul, you know who I am.

This isn't goodbye, not really.



So then go on flame me! If you pick up in the clues then this letter is crystal clear, but if not then too bad. But if you didn't get who it is then the next chapter will help you, actually the next chapter will tell you exactly who it is. So then now all that is done and you have either stopped crying or thinking this is crap, please click on the little review button. Go on.