The Dead Ale Wives "Summoner Geeks II"
Disclaimer: I din't own D&D, AD&D, The Dead Ale Wives, fly by night, or
mountain dew.
anyone who thinks i do, shutup cuz u r delusional.
Graham(furthermore known as DM): Golstaff, are you sure youve
decided to haggle with the blacksmith?
Scott(Golstaff):Yes, and I'm using my ring of charms which adds
a +10 to all convincing rolls.
DM: You dont have to remind me *rolls dice* you seem to have convinced
the blacksmith to lower the price of the sword.
Golstaff:ROCK&ROLL, I use the sword.
DM:What do you mean you use the sword?
Golstaff:I swing it around to see it its magical.
DM:You can't tell if a sword is magical by swing it around
its *snicker snort* not a *snort* lightsaber.
Golstaff: Whatever. However, im supposed to find out if its magical.
DM:Its called a detect magic spell.
Golstaff:I didn't want to use that up.
DM:We'll say you slept for 6 hours after you use it.
Golstaff:Fine, detect magic.
*pause*
DM:Its not magic *snort*
Golstaff:DUUUUUUUUUUUU*snort from DM*UUUUUUDE, he said it was a magical
sword.
DM: He was lying
Golstaff:He said he never tells a lie
DM:He was lying when he said that
Golstaff:DDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUDDDEEEEEE!!!!!
Jeremy(Nightblade):HEY HEY HEY, look who brought the mountain dew!
DM/Golstaff:YEAH RIGHT ON!
Nightblade(high pitched singing): FLY BY NIGHT THE MOUNTAIN DEW
DM:Golstaff (MOUNTAIN DEW FOR YOUUUUUU) as you are standing in the village
road swinging a very un-magical sword in vain attempts
(FLY BY NIGHT MOUNTAIN DEW!) you see the strangest sight. A halfling
theif is wandering towards you singing fly by night.
Golstaff:NIGHTBLADE
Nightblade:Hey!
DM:Nightblade the halfling theif, and he's carrying a 12-pack of mountain
dew.
Golstaff:NOOOOO WAY, his character is carrying mountain dew too?
DM:if i roll a 10 or above then yes *rolls dice* *pause* 11
All:AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *snort from DM*
DM: Here is your character nightblade, where is Picard the elven ranger?
Nightblade:He's coming, and he's bringing his giiiirrrlllfriend.
Golstaff:And your poooiiiint iiisss?
Nightblade:Well she's gonna wanna play
DM:She can play, anyone can play. We're a Brown Deer Highschool
endorsed activity with membership open to the student body, i dont
care if Greg Earthman wants to play if he brings his own dice. If
Sarah Dohini wants to play ADVANCED dungeons and dragons, she can
play Titania.
Golstaff/Nightblade:ooooohhhh
Nightblade:Isn't that your character?
DM:Its not my character, Im the DM, sometimes i have to send NPCs to give you
vital information.
Nightblade: Yeah but it seems like you just end up talking
through Titania
DM:Well whatever, now we have a girl to play Titania.
Mark(Picard):Hey guys whats up?
Golstaff:Hey hey hey, Picard!
Picard: Hey Sarah, do you know everyone here?
Sarah(Titania):Im in biology with scott.
Golstaff:GOLSTAFF!
Titania:And you are...
Golstaff:Thats nightblade
Nightblade:Jeremy
Picard:And Graham *DM*
DM: Are you gonna play D&D with us?
Titania:I dont really know the rules.
All but titania laugh
Picard:Listen, there are no rules;its a game of the imagination.
Titania:Oh okay
DM: This is your character sheet, your name is Titania
Titania:I dont know what any of this means
Picard:Ill help you
Titania:OK
DM:Well its way after 4:00 so can we get started
All:sure yup uh-huh
DM:Golstaff As you are chatting in the village road, Picard the elven ranger
appears
Picard:And Titania
DM:No, she isn't there
Titania:Where am i?
DM:Titania you are in darkness
Titania:Is there anything here?
DM:You are in darkness
Titania:Oh...well i turn on the light
all but titania laugh
DM:Thomas Edison appears before you and says "IDIOT, i haven't been
born yet"
Titania:Well i attack him with a...wtih my sword
all but titania laugh
Titania:What?
Golstaff:He's not really there, thats DM magic
Titania:WHAT?!
Picard:Its a joke sarah
Titania:Well i dont get it
Picard:Come one Graham, you are confusing her!
Nightblade:Im gonna go to the snack machine
DM:Wait, youre in the village
Nightblade:*from snack machine (it will be like that from now on) HEY
i can still hear you, lets go to the tavern
DM: Nightblade is wandering off to the tavern
Picard:As usual, Nightblade always goes to the tavern
Titania:So, am i stillin darkness?
Picard:Maybe you should light a torch
Nightblade:DOES ANYONE HAVE ANOTHER QUARTER??
Titania:I light a torch
DM:Very good, you are in a room. But no more helping
Titania:Whats in the room?
DM:Nothing
Titania:I go to the door
DM:There is no door
Picard:Graham!
DM:The characters were at a certain place at a certain time at the end
of the last adventure, i cant put her on a fluffy *snort* cloud
just cuz shes your girlfriend.
Picard:Well where is she?
DM:If you cant remember then your CHARACTER cant remember.
Picard:Well my CHARACTER casts a locate person spell
DM:*rolls dice* shes on the 5th sublevel of the Queen of Spiders dungeon,
remember?
Picard:Oh brother
Nightblade:AM I AT THE TAVERN YET?
DM:YES!
Nightblade:DOES ANYONE HAVE ANTOHER QUARTER, OTHERWISE I GOTTA GET
FUNIONS!
Picard:Golstaff?
Golstaff:Yes my friend of steady arrow and ready wit?
Picard:We must rescue Titania!
Golstaff:I will accompany you, if you kill the blacksmith the sold
me this sword
Titania:Yeah, kill the blacksmith that sounds fun
DM:Dont kill the blacksmith, thats stupid
Picard:So what, are we doing it wrong now? He told me to kill the
blacksmith, i kill the blacksmith.
DM:Your character wouldn't do that
Picard:So what are you, an expert?
DM:THE BLACKSMITH TURNS INTO A DRAGON AND EATS YOU!
All but nightblade/DM *stunned silence*
Nightblade:THE FUNIONS ARE STUCK IN THE MACHINE!!
Titania:Im leaving, just a stupid dark room anyway
Picard:Sarah wait dont go
Titania:Call me later
Picard:*morose*ok *angry* What the hell is your problem?
DM:Whats yours?
Picard:I dont know what youre talking about
DM:YEAH RIGHT, dont get mad at me because your girlfriend didnt
have a good time, for GOD'S SAKE the is ADVANCED Mark.
Picard:Advance this
DM:SHUTUP
Picard:Oh thats real creative
DM:Im not worried about my creativity Mark, im the DM. I control
worlds...UNIVERSES. Every potion you drink, i mixed. Every magical
item you find, I PUT TI THERE. Do you remember when you killed
that hill giant?
Picard:I rolled a 20, double damage
DM:You rolled a 19 Mark, i budged it. That giant would have killed
you, man. But i admired your spark. You wanted it so badly so i
helped because i wanted to. and i help people when i want to. and
right now youre roasting in the hot belly of a platinum dragon
so you better ask yourself where your priorities lie.
Picard:Are we still playing
DM:Yeah
Golstaff:In the case Golstaff casts a friendship spell on both
of you.
Nightblade:Friendship, what kind of gayness is that?
Golstaff:Shutup, its not gay
Nightblade:Im not gay, im at the tavern with wenches
Golstaff:Yeah, male gay wenches.
Nightblade:LIKE YOU
DM:YOU GUYS SHUTUP! Titania appears
Picard:Titania?
DM:She says 'what'
Picard:How did you get out of the dungeon?
DM as Titania:I turned my bag of holding inside out, wrapped it
around me and walked through the dungeon wall
Picard:You can do that
DM as Titania:Its all in the dice
Picard:Well, lets go on an adventure
DM:Shouldn't you get sarah?
Picard:NO...you play Titania
DM:Titania gives you a crystal, she says 'anytime you need me,
you can use this'
Nightblade:Um...are you guys being funny
Golstaff:Ewwww
THE END
MWAHAHAHA
BTW, IF YOU DONT REVIEW THEN MY SQUIRREL TOKENS WILL GET YOU
GO MY SQUIRREL TOKENS, DESTROY THE NON-REVIEW...ISTS!
Disclaimer: I din't own D&D, AD&D, The Dead Ale Wives, fly by night, or
mountain dew.
anyone who thinks i do, shutup cuz u r delusional.
Graham(furthermore known as DM): Golstaff, are you sure youve
decided to haggle with the blacksmith?
Scott(Golstaff):Yes, and I'm using my ring of charms which adds
a +10 to all convincing rolls.
DM: You dont have to remind me *rolls dice* you seem to have convinced
the blacksmith to lower the price of the sword.
Golstaff:ROCK&ROLL, I use the sword.
DM:What do you mean you use the sword?
Golstaff:I swing it around to see it its magical.
DM:You can't tell if a sword is magical by swing it around
its *snicker snort* not a *snort* lightsaber.
Golstaff: Whatever. However, im supposed to find out if its magical.
DM:Its called a detect magic spell.
Golstaff:I didn't want to use that up.
DM:We'll say you slept for 6 hours after you use it.
Golstaff:Fine, detect magic.
*pause*
DM:Its not magic *snort*
Golstaff:DUUUUUUUUUUUU*snort from DM*UUUUUUDE, he said it was a magical
sword.
DM: He was lying
Golstaff:He said he never tells a lie
DM:He was lying when he said that
Golstaff:DDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUDDDEEEEEE!!!!!
Jeremy(Nightblade):HEY HEY HEY, look who brought the mountain dew!
DM/Golstaff:YEAH RIGHT ON!
Nightblade(high pitched singing): FLY BY NIGHT THE MOUNTAIN DEW
DM:Golstaff (MOUNTAIN DEW FOR YOUUUUUU) as you are standing in the village
road swinging a very un-magical sword in vain attempts
(FLY BY NIGHT MOUNTAIN DEW!) you see the strangest sight. A halfling
theif is wandering towards you singing fly by night.
Golstaff:NIGHTBLADE
Nightblade:Hey!
DM:Nightblade the halfling theif, and he's carrying a 12-pack of mountain
dew.
Golstaff:NOOOOO WAY, his character is carrying mountain dew too?
DM:if i roll a 10 or above then yes *rolls dice* *pause* 11
All:AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *snort from DM*
DM: Here is your character nightblade, where is Picard the elven ranger?
Nightblade:He's coming, and he's bringing his giiiirrrlllfriend.
Golstaff:And your poooiiiint iiisss?
Nightblade:Well she's gonna wanna play
DM:She can play, anyone can play. We're a Brown Deer Highschool
endorsed activity with membership open to the student body, i dont
care if Greg Earthman wants to play if he brings his own dice. If
Sarah Dohini wants to play ADVANCED dungeons and dragons, she can
play Titania.
Golstaff/Nightblade:ooooohhhh
Nightblade:Isn't that your character?
DM:Its not my character, Im the DM, sometimes i have to send NPCs to give you
vital information.
Nightblade: Yeah but it seems like you just end up talking
through Titania
DM:Well whatever, now we have a girl to play Titania.
Mark(Picard):Hey guys whats up?
Golstaff:Hey hey hey, Picard!
Picard: Hey Sarah, do you know everyone here?
Sarah(Titania):Im in biology with scott.
Golstaff:GOLSTAFF!
Titania:And you are...
Golstaff:Thats nightblade
Nightblade:Jeremy
Picard:And Graham *DM*
DM: Are you gonna play D&D with us?
Titania:I dont really know the rules.
All but titania laugh
Picard:Listen, there are no rules;its a game of the imagination.
Titania:Oh okay
DM: This is your character sheet, your name is Titania
Titania:I dont know what any of this means
Picard:Ill help you
Titania:OK
DM:Well its way after 4:00 so can we get started
All:sure yup uh-huh
DM:Golstaff As you are chatting in the village road, Picard the elven ranger
appears
Picard:And Titania
DM:No, she isn't there
Titania:Where am i?
DM:Titania you are in darkness
Titania:Is there anything here?
DM:You are in darkness
Titania:Oh...well i turn on the light
all but titania laugh
DM:Thomas Edison appears before you and says "IDIOT, i haven't been
born yet"
Titania:Well i attack him with a...wtih my sword
all but titania laugh
Titania:What?
Golstaff:He's not really there, thats DM magic
Titania:WHAT?!
Picard:Its a joke sarah
Titania:Well i dont get it
Picard:Come one Graham, you are confusing her!
Nightblade:Im gonna go to the snack machine
DM:Wait, youre in the village
Nightblade:*from snack machine (it will be like that from now on) HEY
i can still hear you, lets go to the tavern
DM: Nightblade is wandering off to the tavern
Picard:As usual, Nightblade always goes to the tavern
Titania:So, am i stillin darkness?
Picard:Maybe you should light a torch
Nightblade:DOES ANYONE HAVE ANOTHER QUARTER??
Titania:I light a torch
DM:Very good, you are in a room. But no more helping
Titania:Whats in the room?
DM:Nothing
Titania:I go to the door
DM:There is no door
Picard:Graham!
DM:The characters were at a certain place at a certain time at the end
of the last adventure, i cant put her on a fluffy *snort* cloud
just cuz shes your girlfriend.
Picard:Well where is she?
DM:If you cant remember then your CHARACTER cant remember.
Picard:Well my CHARACTER casts a locate person spell
DM:*rolls dice* shes on the 5th sublevel of the Queen of Spiders dungeon,
remember?
Picard:Oh brother
Nightblade:AM I AT THE TAVERN YET?
DM:YES!
Nightblade:DOES ANYONE HAVE ANTOHER QUARTER, OTHERWISE I GOTTA GET
FUNIONS!
Picard:Golstaff?
Golstaff:Yes my friend of steady arrow and ready wit?
Picard:We must rescue Titania!
Golstaff:I will accompany you, if you kill the blacksmith the sold
me this sword
Titania:Yeah, kill the blacksmith that sounds fun
DM:Dont kill the blacksmith, thats stupid
Picard:So what, are we doing it wrong now? He told me to kill the
blacksmith, i kill the blacksmith.
DM:Your character wouldn't do that
Picard:So what are you, an expert?
DM:THE BLACKSMITH TURNS INTO A DRAGON AND EATS YOU!
All but nightblade/DM *stunned silence*
Nightblade:THE FUNIONS ARE STUCK IN THE MACHINE!!
Titania:Im leaving, just a stupid dark room anyway
Picard:Sarah wait dont go
Titania:Call me later
Picard:*morose*ok *angry* What the hell is your problem?
DM:Whats yours?
Picard:I dont know what youre talking about
DM:YEAH RIGHT, dont get mad at me because your girlfriend didnt
have a good time, for GOD'S SAKE the is ADVANCED Mark.
Picard:Advance this
DM:SHUTUP
Picard:Oh thats real creative
DM:Im not worried about my creativity Mark, im the DM. I control
worlds...UNIVERSES. Every potion you drink, i mixed. Every magical
item you find, I PUT TI THERE. Do you remember when you killed
that hill giant?
Picard:I rolled a 20, double damage
DM:You rolled a 19 Mark, i budged it. That giant would have killed
you, man. But i admired your spark. You wanted it so badly so i
helped because i wanted to. and i help people when i want to. and
right now youre roasting in the hot belly of a platinum dragon
so you better ask yourself where your priorities lie.
Picard:Are we still playing
DM:Yeah
Golstaff:In the case Golstaff casts a friendship spell on both
of you.
Nightblade:Friendship, what kind of gayness is that?
Golstaff:Shutup, its not gay
Nightblade:Im not gay, im at the tavern with wenches
Golstaff:Yeah, male gay wenches.
Nightblade:LIKE YOU
DM:YOU GUYS SHUTUP! Titania appears
Picard:Titania?
DM:She says 'what'
Picard:How did you get out of the dungeon?
DM as Titania:I turned my bag of holding inside out, wrapped it
around me and walked through the dungeon wall
Picard:You can do that
DM as Titania:Its all in the dice
Picard:Well, lets go on an adventure
DM:Shouldn't you get sarah?
Picard:NO...you play Titania
DM:Titania gives you a crystal, she says 'anytime you need me,
you can use this'
Nightblade:Um...are you guys being funny
Golstaff:Ewwww
THE END
MWAHAHAHA
BTW, IF YOU DONT REVIEW THEN MY SQUIRREL TOKENS WILL GET YOU
GO MY SQUIRREL TOKENS, DESTROY THE NON-REVIEW...ISTS!
