I...nothing, really.
I try to laugh, but it gets caught in my throat.
I don't know why you hide from me. I do whatever you ask, and I always will. I want you to be proud of me, dad.
Mom, she misses you. she tells me that you used to laugh and smile and talk like a normal person. I never heard you laugh before. Mom says that you were always sarcastic and distant, but never this much. At least then she could reach out and hold you in the night, and you even liked it sometimes. At least then she never tried to drink herself into oblivion. Now I have to hold her when she cries because you're never there.
I think I would like to see you smile for real. Just one time.
I asked Snape once. What you were like back then. He glared at me and told me never to ask him again. And I'm his favorite student.
That's why I'm down here tonight. I want a father. A father or an explanation.
But I can't ask.
And then you see me in the doorway, and you glare at me and it hurts more than any glare Snape could ever throw.
What do you want, boy?
And I chicken out.
I...nothing, really. That's what I said. And I try to laugh, and then I just add feebly that I wanted to say goodnight.
His glare softens, and for an instant I hope that my father is there.
...
No such luck.
Goodnight then, he says. And I go to bed.
I try to laugh, but it gets caught in my throat.
I don't know why you hide from me. I do whatever you ask, and I always will. I want you to be proud of me, dad.
Mom, she misses you. she tells me that you used to laugh and smile and talk like a normal person. I never heard you laugh before. Mom says that you were always sarcastic and distant, but never this much. At least then she could reach out and hold you in the night, and you even liked it sometimes. At least then she never tried to drink herself into oblivion. Now I have to hold her when she cries because you're never there.
I think I would like to see you smile for real. Just one time.
I asked Snape once. What you were like back then. He glared at me and told me never to ask him again. And I'm his favorite student.
That's why I'm down here tonight. I want a father. A father or an explanation.
But I can't ask.
And then you see me in the doorway, and you glare at me and it hurts more than any glare Snape could ever throw.
What do you want, boy?
And I chicken out.
I...nothing, really. That's what I said. And I try to laugh, and then I just add feebly that I wanted to say goodnight.
His glare softens, and for an instant I hope that my father is there.
...
No such luck.
Goodnight then, he says. And I go to bed.
