Part 6 - Right here.Right now.
"Buffy?? You okay??"
Lily pushes past Angel and runs towards me, I keep my eyes on Angel while Lily fusses over me. I finally tear my gaze away from him and focus on Lily, I breathe in to try and calm myself down and smile shakily at her.
"It's okay Lily, just got a little fright. Can you cover me at the cafe' tonight?"
"Sure, I'll go now. Sure you'll be okay?"
I nod my head and briefly hug her, she looks at Angel as if she's deciding whether he's the good guy or the bad guy in this situation. Usually I would've laughed and joked about it with her, but he's here and that makes everything different. She takes one last look at me and I smile again, this time a bit more certain and she finally leaves.
I smooth down my pants and fiddle nervously with the buttons on my top. I look at everything except Angel....why does this have to be so hard?? Oh yeah because I killed him and sent him to hell.....
"Buffy...I...look.."
He trails off and sighs, I finally look up at him and he looks so hurt and confused. I wish I could just kiss him and hold him and then it would make everything better and we'd live happily ever after with 2.3 children and a white picket fenced house...but nothing is perfect in the scary world of Buffy...nothing....
"I'm...sorry...for..doing what I did..."
He looks at me, surprised and steps forward, making that little distance that was between us practically nothing.
"You had to do what you had to do...I don't blame you, I never did."
I want to cry, I want to shout, I want to fight, I want to be angry, because all of that makes it just that little bit easier to deal, that little bit easier to forgive and forget. But I don't do any of those I just stand there, emotionless....why isn't anything ever easy??
"Why did you come back?"
"I don't know, one day I just woke up and found myself lying on the floor in the mansion..."
Where I killed him, that's what's missing from that sentence. Where I stabbed him with the sword that Kendra bought and that Giles practically drooled over. Where I told him I loved him and then watched him get sucked into hell....that's where I should be...in hell..
"Buffy, you have to believe me, it wasn't your fault."
I finally break down, the tears flow and he hugs me tightly. Maybe it really wasn't my fault...
"Do you hate me?"
"Of course not! How could you think that? I could never hate you."
So he doesn't hate me after all....I sigh and hug him tighter and breathe in his scent and I revell in it. I haven't touched or smelled him in so long and it feels so good to finally have him here with me now. Maybe I can finally deal and get over the past.
I pull away and look up at him, our gazes lock and passion and lust flash in his deep dark eyes, but just as quickly as I saw it, it fades away and is replaced with his emotionless gaze. And I know that in this moment we're going to kiss because that's just what happens, there's like a script that we all follow without even realising it.
I stand up on my tip toes and lean into him, he's breathing hard - even though he doesn't need to - and I can tell he's nervous, actually so am I. Our faces are so close but then suddenly he pulls away and I look up at him confused. But before I can say anything he interrupts me.
"Come and meet the gang."
"What??"
"They live here, with me. Cordy, Xander, Will, Oz."
"I repeat what??!!"
Oh god, they live here as well! Why isn't anything ever easy for me????
End of Part 6 :)
Hope you're all liking it, I know the B/A meeting thing was kinda rushed but there's a purpose, which you'll find out in the next few parts.
"Buffy?? You okay??"
Lily pushes past Angel and runs towards me, I keep my eyes on Angel while Lily fusses over me. I finally tear my gaze away from him and focus on Lily, I breathe in to try and calm myself down and smile shakily at her.
"It's okay Lily, just got a little fright. Can you cover me at the cafe' tonight?"
"Sure, I'll go now. Sure you'll be okay?"
I nod my head and briefly hug her, she looks at Angel as if she's deciding whether he's the good guy or the bad guy in this situation. Usually I would've laughed and joked about it with her, but he's here and that makes everything different. She takes one last look at me and I smile again, this time a bit more certain and she finally leaves.
I smooth down my pants and fiddle nervously with the buttons on my top. I look at everything except Angel....why does this have to be so hard?? Oh yeah because I killed him and sent him to hell.....
"Buffy...I...look.."
He trails off and sighs, I finally look up at him and he looks so hurt and confused. I wish I could just kiss him and hold him and then it would make everything better and we'd live happily ever after with 2.3 children and a white picket fenced house...but nothing is perfect in the scary world of Buffy...nothing....
"I'm...sorry...for..doing what I did..."
He looks at me, surprised and steps forward, making that little distance that was between us practically nothing.
"You had to do what you had to do...I don't blame you, I never did."
I want to cry, I want to shout, I want to fight, I want to be angry, because all of that makes it just that little bit easier to deal, that little bit easier to forgive and forget. But I don't do any of those I just stand there, emotionless....why isn't anything ever easy??
"Why did you come back?"
"I don't know, one day I just woke up and found myself lying on the floor in the mansion..."
Where I killed him, that's what's missing from that sentence. Where I stabbed him with the sword that Kendra bought and that Giles practically drooled over. Where I told him I loved him and then watched him get sucked into hell....that's where I should be...in hell..
"Buffy, you have to believe me, it wasn't your fault."
I finally break down, the tears flow and he hugs me tightly. Maybe it really wasn't my fault...
"Do you hate me?"
"Of course not! How could you think that? I could never hate you."
So he doesn't hate me after all....I sigh and hug him tighter and breathe in his scent and I revell in it. I haven't touched or smelled him in so long and it feels so good to finally have him here with me now. Maybe I can finally deal and get over the past.
I pull away and look up at him, our gazes lock and passion and lust flash in his deep dark eyes, but just as quickly as I saw it, it fades away and is replaced with his emotionless gaze. And I know that in this moment we're going to kiss because that's just what happens, there's like a script that we all follow without even realising it.
I stand up on my tip toes and lean into him, he's breathing hard - even though he doesn't need to - and I can tell he's nervous, actually so am I. Our faces are so close but then suddenly he pulls away and I look up at him confused. But before I can say anything he interrupts me.
"Come and meet the gang."
"What??"
"They live here, with me. Cordy, Xander, Will, Oz."
"I repeat what??!!"
Oh god, they live here as well! Why isn't anything ever easy for me????
End of Part 6 :)
Hope you're all liking it, I know the B/A meeting thing was kinda rushed but there's a purpose, which you'll find out in the next few parts.
