LEARNING TO SPEAK CHINESE

"Hey, um, 'Fei? I have a question."

"What is it, Duo?"

"Well, ya know I'm trying to learn to speak Cantonese but I just can't seem to remember how to say a lot of things. So…can you help me?"

Wufei nodded.

"Thanks 'Fei!"

"What do you have trouble remembering?"

"Um…promise you won't make fun of me?"

Wufei nodded again.

"Well, I can't remember how to count to ten and I can never ever remember how to say certain colours."

"That's all?"

"Are you joking?! My teacher said I'm the worst student she's ever had during her teaching career of forty years!"

"But you're doing well in Advanced Japanese class aren't you?"

"Yeah. So? What does that have to do with me learning Cantonese?"

"Well, if you can do well in Japanese class, you can probably do well in Cantonese class too."

"You would too, if Heero was your tutor. 'Sides, I already know Japanese so it's easier for me to learn and the two languages are so different."

The Chinese boy nodded yet again and said, "True. Also, Heero's fluent in Japanese and he is a fairly good teacher since he's pretty patient."

"Anyway, 'Fei, can you teach me how to count to ten and say the names of the different colours now?"

"Sure. I'm going to count to ten and then you have to repeat it after me okay?"

Duo nodded.

Wufei began to speak. "Yut, ye, saam, sei, uum, lok, chut, bat, gou, sup."

Duo tried to repeat what Wufei had said. "Yut, ye, sam…sam…sam…um, 'Fei? I can't remember any more."

"Sei comes after sam, remember? Then it goes uum, lok, chut, bat, gou, sup."

"'Kay, 'Fei. Yut, ye, sam…sam…um, 'Fei, help?"

"Sei, Duo, sei! It's not that hard!! After sam comes sei! Try to count to four now, okay?" Wufei looked exasperated.

"Yut, ye, sam…sam…um, sei?" Duo looked up at Wufei hesitantly.

Wufei nodded.

"Yeah!!!" Duo bounced up and down and then he spoke again. "How do you say five, 'Fei?"

"Uum."

"Yut, ye, sam…sam…um, 'Fei? Help?"

"Duo!! Are you a complete idiot? I just told you what four and five are!" Wufei looked like he was ready to explode.

"Four is sei and five is uum! It's not that hard to remember! Now try again!"

Duo took a deep breath and then started to count. "Yut, ye, sam, sei…sei…sei --"

"Uum, Duo, uum!" Wufei interrupted.

"Oh, right. Thanks." Duo gulped and backed away when Wufei glared at him. He crossed his fingers and then began. "Yut, ye, sam, sei, uum…hey 'Fei! I did it! I did it! I counted to five!"

"Great, Duo, great," Wufei said sarcastically. "You counted to five! What an achievement!" He rolled his eyes.

Duo shot a glare at the Chinese boy and then stuck out his tongue. "Anyway, 'Fei, what's six?"

"Lok."

"And seven?"

"Chut."

"'Kay. Yut, ye, sam, sei, uum, um…gut?"

"It's not 'gut' idiot, it's 'chut'! And lok comes after uum and then chut!" Wufei sighed in exasperation. He was completely out of patience. "Why don't I teach you colours then, okay? Maybe you'll have better luck with them."

Duo backed away from Wufei and then said, "'Fei? Teacher says I'm even worse with colours then I am with numbers."

Wufei sighed. "Well, maybe you've had enough tutoring for today then. Why don't we have another lesson tomorrow?"

Duo nodded and then said, "'Fei? Teacher taught me how to say one thing. Wanna hear it before I go?"

Wufei nodded.

"Naw gou see."1

Wufei burst out laughing.

"What's so funny, 'Fei?" Duo looked extremely puzzled.

"Nothing, Duo, nothing. Um, did your teacher tell you what that means?"

"Yep. It means, 'I teach.'"

Wufei nodded. "Sure, Duo, anything you say."

Duo left the room but as he left, Wufei started laughing again and started shouting, "Naw gou see!"

Notes:

'Naw gou see' means 'I'm dog sh'. Duo meant to say, 'Naw gow shur', which means 'I teach.' Anyways, this was a sort of pointless fic but I just felt like writing it after my dad told me that this happened to his patient, who was Caucasian and was trying to learn Chinese.