Jack
And they lived happily ever after…
"Jack! Jaaaaaaack! Where are you boy?" his mother screamed across the castle.
"Coming, Mother!" he yelled back from the other side.
He ran down the stairs, up the stairs, through the hall, through the kitchen (he managed to overturn the giant's widow), through the next hall, and through the closed door. "Here-I-am-Mother," he managed to gasp out.
"Next time, come as soon as I call."
"I did."
"I don't want to hear it! Don't talk back! Now Jack, you know as well as I do, that Betsy, our cow, always gave the sweetest milk. Why, we haven't had milk for ages. I want you to find the man who you traded her to (after you fix this door) and I want you to say that the beans were unsatisfactory and that you want a refund. Now hop to it! I don't want to see you 'til you have that cow with you."
It took him about an hour to fix the door he had busted through. After that part was done, he went into the kitchen and apologized to the widow.
"Oh that's all right Jack, I know yore ma can have a right tempa now an again. Here take some of these right fine san'wiches," she said as she handed him a medium sized parcel. "I know that a body can get right starved doin' all that walkin'."
He put the parcel in a knapsack and grabbed an umbrella to parachute down with.
When he got to the edge of the cloud where he lived, he yelled "Geronimo!" and parachuted to the bottom.
The umbrella wasn't such a good parachute.
Moral: Don't take what they write in stories seriously, you might land with a splat, just like poor Jack.
A Very Fractured, The End.
