It's a small town; the sense of the word is given new meaning when you think of this place. it's so small that the boy your mom used to date might be your teacher, people move there only once in a while; they're usually born, and the sun always rises over the edge of the Whitfield place.

There's tall, beautiful groves of trees, fresh green grass trembling cool with the morning dew....golden fields of corn and wheat that stretch out like a king's ransom over the luxuriant landscape. The sky never ends here, maybe that's what I like best. It reminds you of how small you are everyday. The earth crumbles dark and rich in your hand, the fresh cut hay leaving a sweet summer scent that floats over the fields each day, reminds me of her actually, the scent of her hair......

Scary how sometimes everything reminds me of Lana. I hate to be corny....but I'm pretty much stuck, and there's no point denying it. I have it bad for her and you can see it.

I love it here, I love the freshness, the way the Garden Club meets on Wednesdays at the Center, the way everyone comes to the football games, the way your mother's best friend's ex-boyfriend runs the coffee shop down the street and the way the mist rises sometimes in the morning.

I love living next to her, I love imagining her smiling at me, I love the way her face looks like the peaches we pick in the orchard in the west field and her mouth looks like the ripe raspberries on my mom's bushes. I love working for hours in the fields until I'm tired, I love looking up to the starts from my loft.

And I hate what I am.

Sometimes I sit in wonder and stare at my hands forever. I'll look in the mirror and see just me, at the same time knowing that I'm not who I see. The future scares me....what am I supposed to be? I must have been placed here for something. Wife, three kids, white picket fence, a dog and a minivan doesn't seem to be it. That's what frightens me. I won't be able to live that way. I'm destined to do some great and marvelous thing...and I don't know what it is...

But I know it means I can't love her forever. That's why I give in now, there's no use fighting it. It'll be a heartbreaking day when I wake up and realize I no longer love her. I've forgotten how to do everything else.

But she is as unattainable, as elusive and dangerous as the necklace she wears, that strange malady she inflicts; just as the stone is poison to me, so is she. She wears my guilt around her throat each day, and I can't approach her for the fear she might sense it. I killed her parents, not of my own free will but through an accident that forever separated me from her. A piece of it goes with her wherever it goes....she's my downfall....my kryptonite...

The solitary nights where I stare at the moonlit ceiling wishing she was there to stare at it with me are a cold and distant dream, as unreal as thinking of December in July. You can't barely imagine it. Sometimes I wake in a cold sweat, afraid of what might happen to me. If I accidentally hit someone and my strength killed them......if anyone found out....if in horror she watched me drive a nail through a cement wall with my thumb or break a door off a car, or stick my hand in a woodcutter....and come out perfect....

As each day passes by, I feel myself growing stronger and stronger, different things happening everyday, new powers I didn't know I had awakening. I'd love to take her flying one day.

I want her to feel what I feel, to taste what I taste. Because she deserves better than what the ground offers her. I'm going to.

It's Wednesday, the thought absently floats through my mind. My body is attacked with different feelings, no other thoughts able to protrude; I'm scared she won't want to, scared she will.....

Hesitantly, I stand in her drive when I see her come out of the house; I don't think she realizes I'm there. She's just wearing some soft, stretchy pants and a long sweater, her hair loose and messy around her face. I watch her with a small shiver, then, rehearse furiously a silent greeting.

She breathes the night air deep, and I watch her eyes sparkle in the porch light. Slowly, she starts walking down the drive, and I unfreeze.

When she sees me, her eyes pleasantly widen for a second and her mouth assumes it's usual smile.

"Hey Clark, whatcha doin out here so late?"

I rub the back of my neck nervously, and lost myself for a second staring at her.

"I was taking a walk.....actually.....I was gonna ask you if you felt like taking a walk, but I guess you were ahead of me."

She grins, reassuring me.

"Sure, I'd love to."

We start meandering down the drive, just chit chatting about inconsequential things. It doesn't matter what I talk about, she seems to take it anywhere, enjoying it....we're almost to the middle of a field now, the short grass swishing quietly in the darkness around us. Suddenly noticing our secluded location, I can see her become slightly nervous. I smile softly, making her comfortable, and breaking off her sentence I tell her,

"I wanna show you something."

She turns a curious but amused eye towards me, grinning.

"And what would that be?" she asks, unafraid.

Nervously, I take her hands. For a second she seems unsure, but I force her to look at me.

"Don't worry, I'm not hitting on you."

She laughs, a sweet sound that gives me no clues, as hard as I try to divine it.

"But, you can't tell anyone, and second, you got to trust me."

She nods. "I promise. What's so serious?"

"First, you got to wrap your arms around my neck like this. And you best hold on tight."

She laughs, but does as instructed. The feeling of her so close to me is unnerving, but I take a deep breath.

"This is nice, but where is it going?"

"Up," I whisper, and I feel myself start to rise off the ground.

A tiny, strangled sound escapes her throat; the night air is cool and dark around us, the stars shining fiercely; she instantly clamps herself around me, arms and legs, and a shiver runs through my body that even she could not possibly miss. But we're still rising, and I feel the clouds around me, damp and chilled.

"You can open your eyes now," I tell her, but she shakes her head quickly.

"Still need a second, I'm scared, what's happening? Clark? Oh my God....did I die?"

Her words trip and stumble out, frightened, mumbling buried in my shoulder. She's warm and delicate, slender yet flexible, her frame pressed against mine.

"You're flying, Lana,...." I whisper in her hair, and she suddenly leans back.

"Really?" she says, and her eyes glitter dark and bright in the moonlight.

Below us , the landscape is painted out in the dark greens and blues of night, illuminated by fireflies of lamplights......she draws a deep breath, a tear slipping out of her eye.

She's close enough that I can hear her breathe, but I wouldn't take advantage of this moment. I want her to want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss her....it wouldn't be fair to her otherwise. She says nothing for minutes, just clinging to me, watching the ground below us as we hand suspended in mid air. Then, I gently soar down to the ground, the descent slow and lingering, and hover two inches from the ground we had left.

"You want to land now?" I ask gently, and her mouth trembles barely inches from mine.

"I don't ever want to land," she says with a desperation I can taste, then, defeated, "Sure."

I set her down on the ground gently, but she doesn't want to let go of my neck instantly, and for a nervous, tense second we avoid each other's eyes and contemplate closing the tiny gap between our mouths...then...

She steps away, her normal smile returning, and shakes her head. Her voice is unsteady....

"Thank you....I mean......I need to go home..quickly...to think.....I think I'm still dreaming..."

"Please don't say anything," I manage to say before she disappears around the bend, her frightened form racing homeward.

I don't know if what I did was wrong or not....but I hope it wasn't.

I want to fly with her again.........

The girl next door...my friend.......

Lana....

Her...