"Ouchy, ouchy, ouchy!"
"Duo, what did I tell you about sneaking into Shallow Hal?"
"Don't pull on my frickin' braid, Winner!"
"Yes, well it was the only way to stop you from sneaking off!"
"Yeah, but--"
"Shhh!"
Duo and Quatre guiltily looked backwards at the few scattering of people who were actually looking forward to the movie, and meekly hushed up. The previews rolled. Duo's eyes boggled at the lingerie scene in Shallow Hal, and glanced off longingly into the glowing red exit sign. A good yank on his braid, courtesy of the blonde Arabian seated next to him convinced the cheerful American to change his plans, and Duo sulkingly sank back into his seat, wallowing his sorrows at being so cruelly denied his right to view hot chicks in lingerie in his Extra Extra Large Jumbo King Size (bath)tub of popcorn. And then, after a good five minutes, the previews were shoved out of the spotlight, the credits rolled, and Gundam Wing: The Movie had begun. (Ooh, isn't this just so exciting?!)
"I
feel your love, reflection..." A sultry female voice tinged with a Southern
accent began to sing as the opening credits rolled.
"Um...Mitsu...something...hitomi...ne,
I mean, ni; Ego...I, mean, ega...ite, what? What the hell is this...oh,
forget it...haruka...no, harukana...Never ending story! Um...kana...kanashimi
something...kanashimi mo itami mo..."
The G-boys cringed through the supposed Japanese
opening theme, the word horribly sung a horrible understatement. Duo and
Quatre fought down the urge to break down and cry, Wufei was happily babbling
to himself about how weak a woman was, and Heero and Trowa were being spared
from the torture of having to listen to the supposed Japanese song, ear
plugs snugly in place. Finally, the supposed Japanese opening, which had
obviously been sung by an American woman with a distinctive Southern accent,
ended, and both the singer and the G-boys heaved immense sighs of relief.
The opening credits quickly flashed up the screen as the horribly sung
American-ized version of White Reflection faded blessedly into silence,
and the movie finally begun.
