Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 9, The Weakest Link, or Gundam Wing.
Maybe I would make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...
A/N: If you haven't read the original FF9: The Weakest Link, you might
want to read that first, since I might be making references to that.
Behind the set...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Well, we're off to a good start...
NECRON: And that doof Tot is gone...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Well, SOMEONE had to go...
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
CLOUD TRIBAL: No, I didn't kill Tot...
NECRON: Can I?
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...No.
NECRON: Aw man...
CID: Hey Necron, aren't you the "God of Death"?
NECRON: Yeah?
CID: If you're the "God of Death", why are you on a game show?
NECRON: The Mrs. wants a new dishwasher.
ALL: ...
CID: But you're the "GOD OF DEATH"...
GARLAND: Hey, doesn't Duo talk about the God of Death?
CLOUD TRIBAL: No, that's the Great Destroyer.
(Necron jumps in Deathscythe Hell and begins blowing up random things)
CLOUD TRIBAL: (sweatdrop) THAT wasn't supposed to happen...
ALL: RUN!
NECRON: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Fun's over, we need to start the fic.
(CT blows up the Deathscythe)
NECRON: Ack!
AMARANT: Sweet mother of Beatrix!
BEATRIX: Excuse me?
STEINER: Are you suggesting something about Beatrixy-Weatrixy?
AMARANT: Uhhhh...no?
BEATRIX: Beatrixy-Weatrixy?
STEINER: You'd better not say another word about Beatrix...
BEATRIX: Beatrixy-Weatrixy?
AMARANT: I never did. I'm too cool to talk about Beatrix.
BEATRIX: Beatrixy-Weatrixy?
CLOUD TRIBAL: Uggggh...can we at least TRY to start the fic...
ANNE: Welcome back to "The Weakest Link!"
AUDIENCE: YAY!
ANNE: Now, this round has questions from any Final Fantasy game.
ANNE: Eiko, we'll start with you. 2:20 on the clock!
ANNE: Eiko, in Final Fantasy 5, what was the main protagonist's name.
EIKO: Bartz?
ANNE: Correct!
CID: Strange...on my emulator, it's Butts...
ALL: ...
CLOUD TRIBAL: It's spelled BUTZ, you dolt.
CID: ...
ANNE: Garland, who was the first boss of Final Fantasy 1?
GARLAND: Ooh, I know! Garland!
ANNE: Correct! Black Mage, what happened to Aeris in FF7?
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
ANNE: That's right, she was killed!
ALL: ...
ANNE: Amarant...
AMARANT: I'm too cool to bank, but...bank! (Savings: 5,000 gil)
ANNE: ...What game was released after Final Fantasy 2?
AMARANT: ...Final Fantasy 3?
ANNE: NO! It was a trick question. Final Fantasy 2 was Final Fantasy 4 in Japan,
which means Final Fantasy 5 came out first!
AMARANT: But...a Final Fantasy 3 WAS released after a Final Fantasy 2...
ANNE: That wasn't what the question was about, so tough!
ANNE: Cid, who were the four sorceresses in Final Fantasy 8?
CID: ...Edea, Ultimecia, Adel...and Rinoa!
ANNE: Correct! Necron, who was the final boss of Final Fantasy 6?
NECRON: Oh, I know this! It's Kefka!
ANNE: Correct! Steiner, in Final Fantasy 4, Cecil changed from a Dark Knight to a what?
STEINER: Paladin?
ANNE: Correct! Eiko...
EIKO: Bank! (SAvings: 10,000 gil)
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
ANNE: Well, time is up. And in this round, you banked a pitiful, horrible, measly,
worth-less-than-Chocobo-dung amount of 10,000 gil.
ANNE: One of you will leave right now. So, vote!
(They vote...)
ANNE: Time is up, time to tally the votes.
STEINER: Amarant.
EIKO: ...Amarant.
GARLAMD: ...Amarant.
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
AMARANT: ...Cid.
CID: Amarant.
NECRON: ...Cid.
ANNE: Well, I see...Amarant, with 4 votes, you are The Weakest Link.
ANNE: Goodbye!
(Amarant leaves in a cool fashion)
(CT exits)
Behind the set...
AMARANT: They can't do this to me...I'm too cool to get voted off!
(Shadow appears)
AMARANT: Then again, maybe I was too cool for the show...
(Shadow moves closer)
AMARANT: Or maybe I was too cool for them and they got rid of me!
(Lights go out backstage, nothing can be seen)
AMARANT: But maybe they...hey, who shut off the lights!
AMARANT: (beginning to hyperventilate) Oh...okay...stay calm Amarant...
(Creeeeak...)
AMARANT: WHAT WAS THAT!...Probably the wind...It's okay Amarant...
(Creeeeak...)
AMARANT: ...I'm too cool to be scared of the dark, I'm too cool to be scared of the dark,
I'm too cool to be scared of the...
(Creeeeak...)
AMARANT: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared...
(Creeeeak...)
AMARANT: Oh...what? It's you! No...stay back, I beg you! No...please, no...I can't...
AMARANT: UGH! Stop it...no...I don't want to...please...GUH...help...someone...help...me...
AMARANT: Why...did...you...UGH...(cough cough)...no...somebody help me...
AMARANT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH...
(Lights go on)
(Shadow is revealed to be CT)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...
CLOUD TRIBAL: I KNOW what some of you sickos out there are thinking, and the answer is...
CLOUD TRIBAL: NO, I did NOT rape Amarant!
CLOUD TRIBAL: I merely killed him.
(Amarant's dead body is on the floor)
CLOUD TRIBAL: Now finally I have my justice...in my own murdering way.
Back to the set...
CID: Where'd CT go?
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
EIKO: I hope not...
STEINER: What are you saying?
EIKO: That CT went to kill Amarant.
(CT enters)
CLOUD TRIBAL: What a joyous day!
GARLAND: Why are you so happy all of a sudden?
CLOUD TRIBAL: Oh...nothing....nothing at all...
ANNE: (sweatdrop) Well, we'll be back!
Maybe I would make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...
A/N: If you haven't read the original FF9: The Weakest Link, you might
want to read that first, since I might be making references to that.
Behind the set...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Well, we're off to a good start...
NECRON: And that doof Tot is gone...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Well, SOMEONE had to go...
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
CLOUD TRIBAL: No, I didn't kill Tot...
NECRON: Can I?
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...No.
NECRON: Aw man...
CID: Hey Necron, aren't you the "God of Death"?
NECRON: Yeah?
CID: If you're the "God of Death", why are you on a game show?
NECRON: The Mrs. wants a new dishwasher.
ALL: ...
CID: But you're the "GOD OF DEATH"...
GARLAND: Hey, doesn't Duo talk about the God of Death?
CLOUD TRIBAL: No, that's the Great Destroyer.
(Necron jumps in Deathscythe Hell and begins blowing up random things)
CLOUD TRIBAL: (sweatdrop) THAT wasn't supposed to happen...
ALL: RUN!
NECRON: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Fun's over, we need to start the fic.
(CT blows up the Deathscythe)
NECRON: Ack!
AMARANT: Sweet mother of Beatrix!
BEATRIX: Excuse me?
STEINER: Are you suggesting something about Beatrixy-Weatrixy?
AMARANT: Uhhhh...no?
BEATRIX: Beatrixy-Weatrixy?
STEINER: You'd better not say another word about Beatrix...
BEATRIX: Beatrixy-Weatrixy?
AMARANT: I never did. I'm too cool to talk about Beatrix.
BEATRIX: Beatrixy-Weatrixy?
CLOUD TRIBAL: Uggggh...can we at least TRY to start the fic...
ANNE: Welcome back to "The Weakest Link!"
AUDIENCE: YAY!
ANNE: Now, this round has questions from any Final Fantasy game.
ANNE: Eiko, we'll start with you. 2:20 on the clock!
ANNE: Eiko, in Final Fantasy 5, what was the main protagonist's name.
EIKO: Bartz?
ANNE: Correct!
CID: Strange...on my emulator, it's Butts...
ALL: ...
CLOUD TRIBAL: It's spelled BUTZ, you dolt.
CID: ...
ANNE: Garland, who was the first boss of Final Fantasy 1?
GARLAND: Ooh, I know! Garland!
ANNE: Correct! Black Mage, what happened to Aeris in FF7?
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
ANNE: That's right, she was killed!
ALL: ...
ANNE: Amarant...
AMARANT: I'm too cool to bank, but...bank! (Savings: 5,000 gil)
ANNE: ...What game was released after Final Fantasy 2?
AMARANT: ...Final Fantasy 3?
ANNE: NO! It was a trick question. Final Fantasy 2 was Final Fantasy 4 in Japan,
which means Final Fantasy 5 came out first!
AMARANT: But...a Final Fantasy 3 WAS released after a Final Fantasy 2...
ANNE: That wasn't what the question was about, so tough!
ANNE: Cid, who were the four sorceresses in Final Fantasy 8?
CID: ...Edea, Ultimecia, Adel...and Rinoa!
ANNE: Correct! Necron, who was the final boss of Final Fantasy 6?
NECRON: Oh, I know this! It's Kefka!
ANNE: Correct! Steiner, in Final Fantasy 4, Cecil changed from a Dark Knight to a what?
STEINER: Paladin?
ANNE: Correct! Eiko...
EIKO: Bank! (SAvings: 10,000 gil)
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
ANNE: Well, time is up. And in this round, you banked a pitiful, horrible, measly,
worth-less-than-Chocobo-dung amount of 10,000 gil.
ANNE: One of you will leave right now. So, vote!
(They vote...)
ANNE: Time is up, time to tally the votes.
STEINER: Amarant.
EIKO: ...Amarant.
GARLAMD: ...Amarant.
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
AMARANT: ...Cid.
CID: Amarant.
NECRON: ...Cid.
ANNE: Well, I see...Amarant, with 4 votes, you are The Weakest Link.
ANNE: Goodbye!
(Amarant leaves in a cool fashion)
(CT exits)
Behind the set...
AMARANT: They can't do this to me...I'm too cool to get voted off!
(Shadow appears)
AMARANT: Then again, maybe I was too cool for the show...
(Shadow moves closer)
AMARANT: Or maybe I was too cool for them and they got rid of me!
(Lights go out backstage, nothing can be seen)
AMARANT: But maybe they...hey, who shut off the lights!
AMARANT: (beginning to hyperventilate) Oh...okay...stay calm Amarant...
(Creeeeak...)
AMARANT: WHAT WAS THAT!...Probably the wind...It's okay Amarant...
(Creeeeak...)
AMARANT: ...I'm too cool to be scared of the dark, I'm too cool to be scared of the dark,
I'm too cool to be scared of the...
(Creeeeak...)
AMARANT: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared...
(Creeeeak...)
AMARANT: Oh...what? It's you! No...stay back, I beg you! No...please, no...I can't...
AMARANT: UGH! Stop it...no...I don't want to...please...GUH...help...someone...help...me...
AMARANT: Why...did...you...UGH...(cough cough)...no...somebody help me...
AMARANT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH...
(Lights go on)
(Shadow is revealed to be CT)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...
CLOUD TRIBAL: I KNOW what some of you sickos out there are thinking, and the answer is...
CLOUD TRIBAL: NO, I did NOT rape Amarant!
CLOUD TRIBAL: I merely killed him.
(Amarant's dead body is on the floor)
CLOUD TRIBAL: Now finally I have my justice...in my own murdering way.
Back to the set...
CID: Where'd CT go?
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
EIKO: I hope not...
STEINER: What are you saying?
EIKO: That CT went to kill Amarant.
(CT enters)
CLOUD TRIBAL: What a joyous day!
GARLAND: Why are you so happy all of a sudden?
CLOUD TRIBAL: Oh...nothing....nothing at all...
ANNE: (sweatdrop) Well, we'll be back!
