Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 9, or The Weakest Link. Maybe I
would make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...
A/N: If you haven't read the original FF9: The Weakest Link, you might
want to read that first, since I might be making references to that.
Behind the set...
CLOUD TRIBAL: I'm back!
EIKO: ...
CLOUD TRIBAL: DON'T START.
EIKO: What?
CLOUD TRIBAL: You know what...
EIKO: Oh, you mean...
CLOUD TRIBAL: NO! NO! Don't say it! I won't accept it!
EIKO: ...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Anyway, are we all ready?
ALL: NO! PLEASE!
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...
HILDA: Cid, we have something to discuss!
CID: Eh? Hilda, now's not really the time for this...
HILDA: When I want to talk to you, I MEAN IT!
CID: ...Yes, dear...
HILDA: I thought you promised never to do that kind of thing again!
CID: What?
HILDA: Pervert.
CID: Oh...Hilda, I can explain...
HILDA: EXPLAIN THIS! (slap)
CID: OW!
HILDA: You lying sneaky little...(slap)
CID: OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!
ALL: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
HILDA: ...Well, I guess it's okay.
CID: Thank you, Hilde-kins.
ALL: ...
HILDA: No, I never said anything about forgiving you!
CID: Eh?
HILDA: After all those times you've cheated on me, I finally cheated back!
CID: Hilde-kins, what are you saying?
HILDA: For the past eight months, I've been seeing someone else.
CID: Eight months? Geez...I musta been blind!
HILDA: Actually that's pretty short compared to you. Remember when you cheated on me
for three years straight?
CID: Oh...yeah, I guess I...do...
HILDA: Well, I'm leaving you.
CID: Huh?
HILDA: I'm pregnant with my new lover's baby!
CID: ...
HILDA: I LOVE BAKU, NOT YOU!
CID: W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WHAT!
HILDA: You heard me! I'm carrying Baku's child!
CID: THAT...THAT CAT-MAN?! But...Hilde-kins...I still love you...
HILDA: Well I don't. Goodbye Cid.
(Hilda leaves)
CID: ...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Well, time for the show!
ALL: ACK!
ANNE: Welcome back to "The Weakest Link"!
AUDIENCE: YAY!
ANNE: Alright. Eiko, you go first.
EIKO: What's the category?
ANNE: ...Kitchen magnets!
ALL: HUH!
CLOUD TRIBAL: I couldn't think of anything else!
ANNE: ...How about "all video games"?
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Fine...
ANNE: Eiko, who is the male protagonist of Star Ocean The Second Story?
EIKO: Claude?
ANNE: ...Okay, Claude or Crawd would be acceptable.
ANNE: Garland. Who do you play as in the series Tomb Raider?
GARLAND: Lara Croft.
ANNE: Correct!
CID: Isn't she the girl with the enormous br-
CLOUD TRIBAL: STOP!
CID: Eh?
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Pervert...
CID: Hey, Hilda dumped me! I can do whatever I want now!
ANNE: Black Mage. What must happen to every video game villain?
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
ANNE: Well, correct!
ANNE: Cid. Which two games for the NES were one one cartridge?
CID: (Fantasizing about Lara Croft)
ANNE: ...Cid?
CID: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
ANNE: CID?
CID: ...
ANNE: CID!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CID: Wha? What? Where? AAAAAAAAAH!
ANNE: I'll repeat the question. Which two games for the NES were one one cartridge?
CID: It was Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt.
ANNE: Correct! Necron, who was the female protagonist of Star Ocean The Second Story?
NECRON: I think it was Rena or something like that.
ANNE: ...Correct! Eiko, what was the game for PlayStation where you are a large orange animal?
EIKO: ...Crash Bandicoot?
ANNE: Correct! Garland...
GARLAND: Bank! (Savings: 50,000 gil)
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
ANNE: Well, that was convienient.
ANNE: And in this round, you banked 50,000 gil! That's about an average score.
ANNE: So who's going to be voted off?
(They vote...)
ANNE: Time is up. Let's see the results.
EIKO: Cid.
GARLAND: Cid.
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
CID: Black Mage.
NECRON: ...Cid.
ANNE: Well, there you have it. Garland, why Cid?
GARLAND: He wasted too much time fantasizing.
ANNE: Well Cid, goodbye and good riddance!
(Cid exits)
CID: THey're right. I did waste too much time fantasizing.
CID: I should have learned my lesson after Hilda abandoned me.
CID: But then again...Lara Croft...so wonderful...mmmmmmm...
(Lights go out)
CID: Eh?
CLOUD TRIBAL: That was your Final Fantasy, pervert!
CID: NO! UGH! (dies)
(Lights turn back on)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Kill count...is two. Blood lust...rising. Must control...must control...
(Leaves)
Back on the set...
ANNE: Well, see you next time!
A/N: Look below this message. See? It's a review box. Fill t out. I haven't been
getting reviews. I will not write more until I recieve at least five reviews on
this chapter. If I don't get any by the end of the week, I will be forced to
discontinue this fic in order to have more promising projects.
would make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...
A/N: If you haven't read the original FF9: The Weakest Link, you might
want to read that first, since I might be making references to that.
Behind the set...
CLOUD TRIBAL: I'm back!
EIKO: ...
CLOUD TRIBAL: DON'T START.
EIKO: What?
CLOUD TRIBAL: You know what...
EIKO: Oh, you mean...
CLOUD TRIBAL: NO! NO! Don't say it! I won't accept it!
EIKO: ...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Anyway, are we all ready?
ALL: NO! PLEASE!
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...
HILDA: Cid, we have something to discuss!
CID: Eh? Hilda, now's not really the time for this...
HILDA: When I want to talk to you, I MEAN IT!
CID: ...Yes, dear...
HILDA: I thought you promised never to do that kind of thing again!
CID: What?
HILDA: Pervert.
CID: Oh...Hilda, I can explain...
HILDA: EXPLAIN THIS! (slap)
CID: OW!
HILDA: You lying sneaky little...(slap)
CID: OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!
ALL: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
HILDA: ...Well, I guess it's okay.
CID: Thank you, Hilde-kins.
ALL: ...
HILDA: No, I never said anything about forgiving you!
CID: Eh?
HILDA: After all those times you've cheated on me, I finally cheated back!
CID: Hilde-kins, what are you saying?
HILDA: For the past eight months, I've been seeing someone else.
CID: Eight months? Geez...I musta been blind!
HILDA: Actually that's pretty short compared to you. Remember when you cheated on me
for three years straight?
CID: Oh...yeah, I guess I...do...
HILDA: Well, I'm leaving you.
CID: Huh?
HILDA: I'm pregnant with my new lover's baby!
CID: ...
HILDA: I LOVE BAKU, NOT YOU!
CID: W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WHAT!
HILDA: You heard me! I'm carrying Baku's child!
CID: THAT...THAT CAT-MAN?! But...Hilde-kins...I still love you...
HILDA: Well I don't. Goodbye Cid.
(Hilda leaves)
CID: ...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Well, time for the show!
ALL: ACK!
ANNE: Welcome back to "The Weakest Link"!
AUDIENCE: YAY!
ANNE: Alright. Eiko, you go first.
EIKO: What's the category?
ANNE: ...Kitchen magnets!
ALL: HUH!
CLOUD TRIBAL: I couldn't think of anything else!
ANNE: ...How about "all video games"?
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Fine...
ANNE: Eiko, who is the male protagonist of Star Ocean The Second Story?
EIKO: Claude?
ANNE: ...Okay, Claude or Crawd would be acceptable.
ANNE: Garland. Who do you play as in the series Tomb Raider?
GARLAND: Lara Croft.
ANNE: Correct!
CID: Isn't she the girl with the enormous br-
CLOUD TRIBAL: STOP!
CID: Eh?
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Pervert...
CID: Hey, Hilda dumped me! I can do whatever I want now!
ANNE: Black Mage. What must happen to every video game villain?
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
ANNE: Well, correct!
ANNE: Cid. Which two games for the NES were one one cartridge?
CID: (Fantasizing about Lara Croft)
ANNE: ...Cid?
CID: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
ANNE: CID?
CID: ...
ANNE: CID!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CID: Wha? What? Where? AAAAAAAAAH!
ANNE: I'll repeat the question. Which two games for the NES were one one cartridge?
CID: It was Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt.
ANNE: Correct! Necron, who was the female protagonist of Star Ocean The Second Story?
NECRON: I think it was Rena or something like that.
ANNE: ...Correct! Eiko, what was the game for PlayStation where you are a large orange animal?
EIKO: ...Crash Bandicoot?
ANNE: Correct! Garland...
GARLAND: Bank! (Savings: 50,000 gil)
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
ANNE: Well, that was convienient.
ANNE: And in this round, you banked 50,000 gil! That's about an average score.
ANNE: So who's going to be voted off?
(They vote...)
ANNE: Time is up. Let's see the results.
EIKO: Cid.
GARLAND: Cid.
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
CID: Black Mage.
NECRON: ...Cid.
ANNE: Well, there you have it. Garland, why Cid?
GARLAND: He wasted too much time fantasizing.
ANNE: Well Cid, goodbye and good riddance!
(Cid exits)
CID: THey're right. I did waste too much time fantasizing.
CID: I should have learned my lesson after Hilda abandoned me.
CID: But then again...Lara Croft...so wonderful...mmmmmmm...
(Lights go out)
CID: Eh?
CLOUD TRIBAL: That was your Final Fantasy, pervert!
CID: NO! UGH! (dies)
(Lights turn back on)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Kill count...is two. Blood lust...rising. Must control...must control...
(Leaves)
Back on the set...
ANNE: Well, see you next time!
A/N: Look below this message. See? It's a review box. Fill t out. I haven't been
getting reviews. I will not write more until I recieve at least five reviews on
this chapter. If I don't get any by the end of the week, I will be forced to
discontinue this fic in order to have more promising projects.
