Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 9, or The Weakest Link. Maybe I
would make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...

A/N: If you haven't read the original FF9: The Weakest Link, you might
want to read that first, since I might be making references to that.

Behind the set...

CLOUD TRIBAL: I'm back!

EIKO: ...

CLOUD TRIBAL: DON'T START.

EIKO: What?

CLOUD TRIBAL: You know what...

EIKO: Oh, you mean...

CLOUD TRIBAL: NO! NO! Don't say it! I won't accept it!

EIKO: ...

CLOUD TRIBAL: Anyway, are we all ready?

ALL: NO! PLEASE!

CLOUD TRIBAL: ...

HILDA: Cid, we have something to discuss!

CID: Eh? Hilda, now's not really the time for this...

HILDA: When I want to talk to you, I MEAN IT!

CID: ...Yes, dear...

HILDA: I thought you promised never to do that kind of thing again!

CID: What?

HILDA: Pervert.

CID: Oh...Hilda, I can explain...

HILDA: EXPLAIN THIS! (slap)

CID: OW!

HILDA: You lying sneaky little...(slap)

CID: OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!

ALL: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

HILDA: ...Well, I guess it's okay.

CID: Thank you, Hilde-kins.

ALL: ...

HILDA: No, I never said anything about forgiving you!

CID: Eh?

HILDA: After all those times you've cheated on me, I finally cheated back!

CID: Hilde-kins, what are you saying?

HILDA: For the past eight months, I've been seeing someone else.

CID: Eight months? Geez...I musta been blind!

HILDA: Actually that's pretty short compared to you. Remember when you cheated on me
for three years straight?

CID: Oh...yeah, I guess I...do...

HILDA: Well, I'm leaving you.

CID: Huh?

HILDA: I'm pregnant with my new lover's baby!

CID: ...

HILDA: I LOVE BAKU, NOT YOU!

CID: W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WHAT!

HILDA: You heard me! I'm carrying Baku's child!

CID: THAT...THAT CAT-MAN?! But...Hilde-kins...I still love you...

HILDA: Well I don't. Goodbye Cid.

(Hilda leaves)

CID: ...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Well, time for the show!

ALL: ACK!



ANNE: Welcome back to "The Weakest Link"!

AUDIENCE: YAY!

ANNE: Alright. Eiko, you go first.

EIKO: What's the category?

ANNE: ...Kitchen magnets!

ALL: HUH!

CLOUD TRIBAL: I couldn't think of anything else!

ANNE: ...How about "all video games"?

CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Fine...

ANNE: Eiko, who is the male protagonist of Star Ocean The Second Story?

EIKO: Claude?

ANNE: ...Okay, Claude or Crawd would be acceptable.

ANNE: Garland. Who do you play as in the series Tomb Raider?

GARLAND: Lara Croft.

ANNE: Correct!

CID: Isn't she the girl with the enormous br-

CLOUD TRIBAL: STOP!

CID: Eh?

CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Pervert...

CID: Hey, Hilda dumped me! I can do whatever I want now!

ANNE: Black Mage. What must happen to every video game villain?

BLACK MAGE: KILL!

ANNE: Well, correct!

ANNE: Cid. Which two games for the NES were one one cartridge?

CID: (Fantasizing about Lara Croft)

ANNE: ...Cid?

CID: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

ANNE: CID?

CID: ...

ANNE: CID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CID: Wha? What? Where? AAAAAAAAAH!

ANNE: I'll repeat the question. Which two games for the NES were one one cartridge?

CID: It was Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt.

ANNE: Correct! Necron, who was the female protagonist of Star Ocean The Second Story?

NECRON: I think it was Rena or something like that.

ANNE: ...Correct! Eiko, what was the game for PlayStation where you are a large orange animal?

EIKO: ...Crash Bandicoot?

ANNE: Correct! Garland...

GARLAND: Bank! (Savings: 50,000 gil)

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

ANNE: Well, that was convienient.

ANNE: And in this round, you banked 50,000 gil! That's about an average score.

ANNE: So who's going to be voted off?

(They vote...)

ANNE: Time is up. Let's see the results.

EIKO: Cid.

GARLAND: Cid.

BLACK MAGE: KILL!

CID: Black Mage.

NECRON: ...Cid.

ANNE: Well, there you have it. Garland, why Cid?

GARLAND: He wasted too much time fantasizing.

ANNE: Well Cid, goodbye and good riddance!

(Cid exits)

CID: THey're right. I did waste too much time fantasizing.

CID: I should have learned my lesson after Hilda abandoned me.

CID: But then again...Lara Croft...so wonderful...mmmmmmm...

(Lights go out)

CID: Eh?

CLOUD TRIBAL: That was your Final Fantasy, pervert!

CID: NO! UGH! (dies)

(Lights turn back on)

CLOUD TRIBAL: ...Kill count...is two. Blood lust...rising. Must control...must control...

(Leaves)

Back on the set...

ANNE: Well, see you next time!

A/N: Look below this message. See? It's a review box. Fill t out. I haven't been
getting reviews. I will not write more until I recieve at least five reviews on
this chapter. If I don't get any by the end of the week, I will be forced to
discontinue this fic in order to have more promising projects.