A/N: What was I thinking? Excessive hyperness does not a serious chapter make.
After my revision I made to this chapter while hyper, it's lost all sense of reason!
So don't blame me!
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 9, or the Weakest Link. Maybe I would
make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...
Behind the set...
NECRON: Finally...it's the last round. Finally we can finish so I can leave
with my money.
GARLAND: YOUR money?
NECRON: Yes, my money...I'm going to win after all. Hey...where did Cloud Tribal
go, anyway?
GARLAND: Hm...he said he was going to Qu's Marsh for something.
(Scene cuts to Qu's Marsh)
QUINA: Aiya! Me remember you! You crazy author-man!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Shut up. Go away so I can drink this.
QUINA: You give back can of bubbly stuff!
CLOUD TRIBAL: How dare you refer to the God of Inspiration, Mr.
Pibb, in that manner!
QUINA: What you mean, "God of Inspiration"?
CLOUD TRIBAL: I mean...GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME SO I CAN DRINK THIS!
(QUINA eats the can of Pibb)
QUINA: Aiya! You bad author-man! Me eat you up!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Eh?
QUINA: (dancing) Me eat you up! Me eat you up!
CLOUD TRIBAL: (sweatdrop) That was a somewhat obscure parody...
QUINA: You die now!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Time to die, you bloated buffoon!
(Psychotic music!)
(QUINA is blown to kingdom come)
QUINA: Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiya...
CLOUD TRIBAL: That was a senseless and brutal murder.
(The can of Pibb flies out of the explosion and lands in CT's hand)
CLOUD TRIBAL: And all for a can of Pibb...but this is no ordinary Pibb.
(CT drinks the Pibb)
CLOUD TRIBAL: Most excellent. Now to go get those guys...
(Back at the set...)
ANNE: Maybe he's dead and gone forever?
NECRON: You can't kill an author, silly.
CLOUD TRIBAL: Hi there!
NECRON: Oh...you're back. Now, what are-
(Loud explosion)
ALL: What the?
(Several Microsoft employees enter the room and begin running around, sticking
labels that read "X-Box" on everything they find)
CLOUD TRIBAL: WHAT is going ON here?
MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE: Square has been annexed by Microsoft. Now everything related to
Square is owned by Microsoft and the X-Box.
ALL: What!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Gates can't keep his monopoly in one place, can he?
MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE: Let me read you the new rules that will govern your life.
MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE: You are now owned by Bill Gates. You may not rebel against anything said or done by Lord Gates.
You will do what Lord Gates commands. You will worship Lord Gates 3 times daily. You must-
(CT kicks MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE out of the building)
OTHER MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES: You have committed a violation of Section 13, Paragraph 8, Lin-
CLOUD TRIBAL: THIS IS MY FIC! TELL "LORD GATES" HE CAN SHOVE THE X-BOX UP HIS ASS!
(CT blows the MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES away)
MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES: We're going to tell Lord Gates abooooooooout thiiiiiiiissssssss!
CLOUD TRIBAL: I knew there was a reason I hated X-Box...We've wasted enough time.
ALL: Ack! We're going, we're going!
(The contestants enter the set)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...That has to be the easiest way I've ever gotten
them onto the set.
ANNE: And welcome to the final round of the "Weakest Link"!
AUDIENCE: Yay?
ANNE: It's down to Garland and Necron. Who will win the money?
NECRON: Me.
ANNE: THAT WASN'T A QUESTION FOR YOU, YOU IDIOT!
NECRON: (sweatdrop)
ANNE: Anyway, the Bank is doubled in this round. Let's begin. Garland,
you were the strongest link from the last round.
GARLAND: Woo-hoo!
ANNE: Start the clock!
NECRON: W-Wait! Category?
ANNE: Hmm...let's pick something interesting. Nothing!
ALL: Huh?
ANNE: Nothing. Garland, what is zero squared?
GARLAND: Zero?
ANNE: No, the answer is nothing.
GARLAND: But!
ANNE: Necron, how much does it cost to breathe?
NECRON: Nothing.
ANNE: Correct.
GARLAND: But this is a fanfic, we should get video game questions!
ANNE: (muttering) What a crybaby.
ANNE: Fine, fine. Let's see...Garland, what can Pearl do in Legend
of Mana?
GARLAND: Nothing?
ANNE: Correct. Necron. In FF9, what do you desire to return everything to?
NECRON: Nothing, of course.
ANNE: Correct. Garland, what is the difficulty level of Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest?
GARLAND: Nothing. And I mean, ABSOLUTELY nothing.
ANNE: Correct. And I mean, ABSOLUTELY correct.
ALL: ...
ANNE: Necron, what reason does Zidane give for helping people?
NECRON: Nothing?
ANNE: Correct. Garland. In Star Ocean, what does the Useless Decoration do?
GARLAND: Nothing.
ANNE: Correct. Necron...
NECRON: Let's bank. (Savings: 50,000x2=100,000 gil)
ANNE: What purpose does this fic serve?
NECRON: Judging by every other answer, the answer is nothing.
ANNE: Wrong-o! The answer is to entertain with mindless stupidity.
NECRON: Gragh...
ANNE: And now time is up! Time for the final round. Questions will be about CT's fanfics, and
about CT himself, which will be taken from info in the author bio.
ANNE: We'll start with you, Garland. What is the first fic CT wrote?
GARLAND: "FF9: The Weakest Link"?
ANNE: Correct! Necron, what is the only CT fic without chapters?
NECRON: "Friendly Battles You Just Won't Find".
ANNE: Correct! The score is one apiece.
ANNE: Garland, how old is CT?
GARLAND: (looks at author bio) 15!
ANNE: Correct!
NECRON: No fair.
ANNE: Necron, how many chapters did the original "FF9: WL" have?
NECRON: Eight.
ANNE: That is correct. The score is two apiece.
ANNE: Garland, what is the progress on CT's MST?
GARLAND: Um...one chapter complete, #2 in progress.
ANNE: Correct. Necron, how many chapters does FF9: WL2" have?
NECRON: As of now, seven.
ANNE: Correct! Garland, who is helping CT MST Final Fantasy 9 in his fic?
GARLAND: Squall, Edgar, Sephiroth, and...PSX Master.
ANNE: Correct! Necron, when was "FF9: WL2" published?
NECRON: Ummm...(checks author bio) 6/22/01?
ANNE: Correct! The score is tied at four. Garland, you must get this question right to win.
ANNE: Will CT write a "FF9: Weakest Link 3"?
GARLAND: ...
GARLAND: ...
GARLAND: ...No.
ANNE: Correct! Garland, you win!
NECRON: WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!
ANNE: Garland, you have won 340,000 gil!
GARLAND: Compared to Vivi's winnings, that's pathetic.
NECRON: I WAS SUPPOSED TO WIN! ME! ME ME ME!
ANNE: Like it or not Necron, Garland has won. You can't do anything about that.
NECRON: IT WAS MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE!
ANNE: Dear Lord, you are a bad sport. And a little slow, I might add.
NECRON: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS WAS RIGGED!
ANNE: Let's take the two contestants backstage for their closing remarks.
(Behind the set...)
GARLAND: Wow. I won. Cool. Having this much money will be fun. It's like
winning the Lotto or something.
NECRON: I SWEAR THIS IS NOT OVER! CT! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! I'LL KILL YOU
FOR THIS! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO I'LL GET REVENGE! I SWEAR BY
MY FATHER, SATAN! I'LL GET YOU, CLOUD TRIBAL!
Will Necron have his revenge? Or will CT escape the threats? Will Garland
use his money wisely? Will CT give out prizes like last time? Will this narration
ever END? Find out in the exciting conclusion to "FF9: The Weakest Link 2"!
A/N: Yes, there is a Chapter 8 slated to be written. So review! Please let me know
what you think, or at least let me know you're still reading this!
After my revision I made to this chapter while hyper, it's lost all sense of reason!
So don't blame me!
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 9, or the Weakest Link. Maybe I would
make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...
Behind the set...
NECRON: Finally...it's the last round. Finally we can finish so I can leave
with my money.
GARLAND: YOUR money?
NECRON: Yes, my money...I'm going to win after all. Hey...where did Cloud Tribal
go, anyway?
GARLAND: Hm...he said he was going to Qu's Marsh for something.
(Scene cuts to Qu's Marsh)
QUINA: Aiya! Me remember you! You crazy author-man!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Shut up. Go away so I can drink this.
QUINA: You give back can of bubbly stuff!
CLOUD TRIBAL: How dare you refer to the God of Inspiration, Mr.
Pibb, in that manner!
QUINA: What you mean, "God of Inspiration"?
CLOUD TRIBAL: I mean...GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME SO I CAN DRINK THIS!
(QUINA eats the can of Pibb)
QUINA: Aiya! You bad author-man! Me eat you up!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Eh?
QUINA: (dancing) Me eat you up! Me eat you up!
CLOUD TRIBAL: (sweatdrop) That was a somewhat obscure parody...
QUINA: You die now!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Time to die, you bloated buffoon!
(Psychotic music!)
(QUINA is blown to kingdom come)
QUINA: Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiya...
CLOUD TRIBAL: That was a senseless and brutal murder.
(The can of Pibb flies out of the explosion and lands in CT's hand)
CLOUD TRIBAL: And all for a can of Pibb...but this is no ordinary Pibb.
(CT drinks the Pibb)
CLOUD TRIBAL: Most excellent. Now to go get those guys...
(Back at the set...)
ANNE: Maybe he's dead and gone forever?
NECRON: You can't kill an author, silly.
CLOUD TRIBAL: Hi there!
NECRON: Oh...you're back. Now, what are-
(Loud explosion)
ALL: What the?
(Several Microsoft employees enter the room and begin running around, sticking
labels that read "X-Box" on everything they find)
CLOUD TRIBAL: WHAT is going ON here?
MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE: Square has been annexed by Microsoft. Now everything related to
Square is owned by Microsoft and the X-Box.
ALL: What!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Gates can't keep his monopoly in one place, can he?
MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE: Let me read you the new rules that will govern your life.
MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE: You are now owned by Bill Gates. You may not rebel against anything said or done by Lord Gates.
You will do what Lord Gates commands. You will worship Lord Gates 3 times daily. You must-
(CT kicks MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE out of the building)
OTHER MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES: You have committed a violation of Section 13, Paragraph 8, Lin-
CLOUD TRIBAL: THIS IS MY FIC! TELL "LORD GATES" HE CAN SHOVE THE X-BOX UP HIS ASS!
(CT blows the MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES away)
MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES: We're going to tell Lord Gates abooooooooout thiiiiiiiissssssss!
CLOUD TRIBAL: I knew there was a reason I hated X-Box...We've wasted enough time.
ALL: Ack! We're going, we're going!
(The contestants enter the set)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...That has to be the easiest way I've ever gotten
them onto the set.
ANNE: And welcome to the final round of the "Weakest Link"!
AUDIENCE: Yay?
ANNE: It's down to Garland and Necron. Who will win the money?
NECRON: Me.
ANNE: THAT WASN'T A QUESTION FOR YOU, YOU IDIOT!
NECRON: (sweatdrop)
ANNE: Anyway, the Bank is doubled in this round. Let's begin. Garland,
you were the strongest link from the last round.
GARLAND: Woo-hoo!
ANNE: Start the clock!
NECRON: W-Wait! Category?
ANNE: Hmm...let's pick something interesting. Nothing!
ALL: Huh?
ANNE: Nothing. Garland, what is zero squared?
GARLAND: Zero?
ANNE: No, the answer is nothing.
GARLAND: But!
ANNE: Necron, how much does it cost to breathe?
NECRON: Nothing.
ANNE: Correct.
GARLAND: But this is a fanfic, we should get video game questions!
ANNE: (muttering) What a crybaby.
ANNE: Fine, fine. Let's see...Garland, what can Pearl do in Legend
of Mana?
GARLAND: Nothing?
ANNE: Correct. Necron. In FF9, what do you desire to return everything to?
NECRON: Nothing, of course.
ANNE: Correct. Garland, what is the difficulty level of Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest?
GARLAND: Nothing. And I mean, ABSOLUTELY nothing.
ANNE: Correct. And I mean, ABSOLUTELY correct.
ALL: ...
ANNE: Necron, what reason does Zidane give for helping people?
NECRON: Nothing?
ANNE: Correct. Garland. In Star Ocean, what does the Useless Decoration do?
GARLAND: Nothing.
ANNE: Correct. Necron...
NECRON: Let's bank. (Savings: 50,000x2=100,000 gil)
ANNE: What purpose does this fic serve?
NECRON: Judging by every other answer, the answer is nothing.
ANNE: Wrong-o! The answer is to entertain with mindless stupidity.
NECRON: Gragh...
ANNE: And now time is up! Time for the final round. Questions will be about CT's fanfics, and
about CT himself, which will be taken from info in the author bio.
ANNE: We'll start with you, Garland. What is the first fic CT wrote?
GARLAND: "FF9: The Weakest Link"?
ANNE: Correct! Necron, what is the only CT fic without chapters?
NECRON: "Friendly Battles You Just Won't Find".
ANNE: Correct! The score is one apiece.
ANNE: Garland, how old is CT?
GARLAND: (looks at author bio) 15!
ANNE: Correct!
NECRON: No fair.
ANNE: Necron, how many chapters did the original "FF9: WL" have?
NECRON: Eight.
ANNE: That is correct. The score is two apiece.
ANNE: Garland, what is the progress on CT's MST?
GARLAND: Um...one chapter complete, #2 in progress.
ANNE: Correct. Necron, how many chapters does FF9: WL2" have?
NECRON: As of now, seven.
ANNE: Correct! Garland, who is helping CT MST Final Fantasy 9 in his fic?
GARLAND: Squall, Edgar, Sephiroth, and...PSX Master.
ANNE: Correct! Necron, when was "FF9: WL2" published?
NECRON: Ummm...(checks author bio) 6/22/01?
ANNE: Correct! The score is tied at four. Garland, you must get this question right to win.
ANNE: Will CT write a "FF9: Weakest Link 3"?
GARLAND: ...
GARLAND: ...
GARLAND: ...No.
ANNE: Correct! Garland, you win!
NECRON: WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!
ANNE: Garland, you have won 340,000 gil!
GARLAND: Compared to Vivi's winnings, that's pathetic.
NECRON: I WAS SUPPOSED TO WIN! ME! ME ME ME!
ANNE: Like it or not Necron, Garland has won. You can't do anything about that.
NECRON: IT WAS MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE!
ANNE: Dear Lord, you are a bad sport. And a little slow, I might add.
NECRON: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS WAS RIGGED!
ANNE: Let's take the two contestants backstage for their closing remarks.
(Behind the set...)
GARLAND: Wow. I won. Cool. Having this much money will be fun. It's like
winning the Lotto or something.
NECRON: I SWEAR THIS IS NOT OVER! CT! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! I'LL KILL YOU
FOR THIS! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO I'LL GET REVENGE! I SWEAR BY
MY FATHER, SATAN! I'LL GET YOU, CLOUD TRIBAL!
Will Necron have his revenge? Or will CT escape the threats? Will Garland
use his money wisely? Will CT give out prizes like last time? Will this narration
ever END? Find out in the exciting conclusion to "FF9: The Weakest Link 2"!
A/N: Yes, there is a Chapter 8 slated to be written. So review! Please let me know
what you think, or at least let me know you're still reading this!
