Disclaimer: Star Trek and all things contained therein are the property of Paramount Pictures

Disclaimer: Star Trek and all things contained therein are the property of Paramount Pictures. I am just the targ dung under their feet. No infringement intended. For details, see chapter one.

Chapter Two

Her first thought as she slogged out of a deep sleep was, Who in the hell is operating that bulldozer in my apartment? Who would be doing construction in her bedroom, especially at this time in the morning? Then, as the sounds became more distinct, she debated on how many years she'd be sentenced to prison for killing the idiot who was running that jackhammer inside her head. Whatever the penalty, she was certain it would be worth it.

Kathryn Janeway groaned and pulled her pillow over her head, trying desperately to drown out the sonic booms going off inside her skull. But the noise was persistent. It only took her a minute or two to realize that she was actually hearing her door buzzer, though it sounded more like antimatter explosions.

"Go away," she croaked. But the mystery ringer wasn't giving up, and soon added a thunderously deafening knocking to the litany of buzzes. That combination was more than Janeway's hung over mind could tolerate. "All right! I'm coming!" she snarled in a hoarse voice that made her sound decidedly Klingon.

She sat up, a wave of vertigo crashing down on her for her trouble. Somehow, she managed to eventually stagger to the door. She threw it open, her hair sticking out wildly around her head, making her look like a Kazon woman who'd been struck by lightening. She was huffing and puffing as she glared at her visitor. "What?!?!"

The doctor stared at his former captain in disbelief. Or was it horror? "Captain! Are you ill? You look absolutely dreadful!"

Before she could glare at him again, or tell him to go to hell, she was hit by a tidal wave of intense nausea. Her bloodshot eyes grew wide as she slapped a hand over her mouth. She turned and ran for the bathroom, barely making it in time. She sunk weakly to the floor, and with each wretch that tore from her gut; she silently vowed to kill Tom Paris with her own two hands.

The doctor stood over her with a medical tricorder – what, did he carry that damn thing with him everywhere he went just to irritate her? – and his holographic face contorted into a disapproving frown as he read the scans. "Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what's the matter with you, Captain. Although, I am one. You're experiencing what you Humans ineptly refer to as a hang over."

No kidding! Now she found the energy to glare at him. "Really! Did your incredibly superior diagnostic matrix tell you that, Genius?"

"No," he said smugly. "The ridiculously high level of alcohol in your blood did. You've got enough in there to preserve your body for years. I don't know whether to treat you, or bury you in the lawn!"

Janeway couldn't stand it anymore. The nausea was about to make a repeat appearance, and the trembling was spreading from her hands to the rest of her haggard body. Treatment or death, either one would be welcome at this point. "Well, pick one and do it quickly. I can't take this much longer."

"I don't know…" said the doctor reluctantly. "You did do this to yourself, after all. Maybe it'd teach you to respect your body, maybe even feed it once in a while, if..."

Kathryn launched off the floor like a photon torpedo and seized the EMH by his holographic lapels. "I'm in no mood for lectures, Doctor. Make this go away or I swear to God, I'll reprogram you to be a whistling teapot!"

"Ah," he said, gently but firmly prying her hands from his shirt. "Assault and battery followed by vicious threats. I see you've been spending time with Lieutenant Torres. That wasn't, by chance, blood wine you were drinking, was it?"

"No," she said, rubbing her palm against her aching forehead. "I drank a Liquid Cocaine in a bar in France with Tom Paris."

The doctor's dour expression proved that he obviously didn't believe that story. "Forget it," he grumbled. "My fault for asking."

"Can you make this hang over stop, Doctor?"

"I can ease the symptoms and stop the vomiting. But I can't make it all disappear. I'm a doctor, not a magician."

Janeway staggered over and flopped onto the sofa as the doctor retrieved a hypospray from the replicator. He moved to Janeway's side and peered down at her. "This injection should make you feel better, Captain." He looked at her mussed, wild hair, her pasty, pale skin, and her bloodshot eyes. "Although, you do look like the walking dead. Perhaps a wooden stake through the heart would do the trick."

"Doctor," she warned.

"Very well," he said, pressing the hypospray to her neck. "But next time you decide to poison your body with real alcohol, I hope you'll remember how you felt today."

Kathryn winced slightly at the hiss of the hypospray, and then sighed with relief as her symptoms began to dissipate almost immediately. She pulled herself to a seated position and rubbed the spot on her neck where the medication had been injected through her skin. "Thank you, Doctor."

He nodded. "You're welcome."

She wrinkled her brow and studied the EMH. Her mind starting to clear, she suddenly found herself wondering what had brought him to her door. She offered him a lop-sided grin, despite the slight pounding that lingered stubbornly in her head. "Not that I don't appreciate your intervention this morning, Doctor, but what are you doing here? I'm willing to bet you didn't just get an urge to make an impromptu house call."

"Of course not. That was just an added bonus," he said wryly. "I originally came here to speak to you about something of a more … personal nature."

"Oh?" Janeway eyed him curiously. "Have a seat and tell me what's on your mind."

He sat next to her on the sofa and seemed to be studying his hands rather intently. Was he nervous?! After a moment of what appeared to be an internal struggle he said, "Actually, I wanted to discuss Seven of Nine."

Janeway felt her heart drop into her stomach. Seven was one topic she preferred not to talk about at the moment. She'd been avoiding her since they returned to Earth, uncertain how to deal with her and her apparent feelings for Chakotay. Her headache just stepped up a notch. "What about her?" she managed to say neutrally.

"I'm not quite certain where to begin," he said. "I'm sure you're aware that I've always carried a certain affection for Seven, Captain."

Now there's an understatement, she thought. "Of course I am. And it's Kathryn," she said. "Call me Kathryn."

He regarded her skeptically. "I'm not sure I can."

She laughed. "Why not? It is my name, after all."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. But the only person allowed to call you 'Kathryn' on the ship was Chakotay. I've addressed you as 'Captain' for all of my existence."

"Your program is adaptable." Why was this so hard for them? "On Voyager we had to maintain a certain standard at all times. But we aren't on the ship anymore. And I am no longer your captain. When we're alone and away from Starfleet, I want you to call me Kathryn."

"Very well, Kathryn," he said, trying her new title on for size. "Since we returned to Earth, I have realized that not only had I grown accustomed to my daily interaction with Seven, I looked forward to it. She no longer checks in with me for her routine maintenance. In fact, I've hardly seen her since we docked. Now that she's … involved … with Commander Chakotay, it appears she doesn't need me. I find that I …"

"You miss her," Janeway supplied softly.

"Yes," he nodded. "I miss her very much."

"I'm willing to bet she misses you as well. Have you tried to contact her?"

"No. No, I haven't." He leaned forward and placed his hands on his knees. "She's with the commander now. I didn't want to interfere."

It suddenly became clear to Kathryn that the Doctor's feelings for Seven went well beyond a holographic crush. Why hadn't she realized it before? "Doctor, you know you can always be honest with me, right?"

"Of course, Capt … I mean Kathryn. And you know you can always be honest with me as well, right?"

Ah, this was going to be a two way confessional. Very well. But before she could have such a heart to heart with a second officer in as many days, she needed coffee. She moved to the replicator as she spoke. "Yes, I know I can be honest with you. " Now that I've finally been honest with myself, she added silently.

"Then I assume it's safe to say that this unexpected union between Seven and Chakotay has been particularly painful for us both?"

She sipped from her steaming coffee mug and then nodded. "Yes, I think it's safe to say that." She eyed her old friend carefully. He had become so much more that a mere medical program over the past seven years. He'd become a trusted friend, and Janeway thought him as Human as she was. The fact that he'd developed such deep feelings for Seven only served to further prove that. "You're in love with her, aren't you?" she asked gently.

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "And the same could be said of your feelings for the commander?"

"I tried to deny it for a long time, even to myself. But yes, " she looked up at him. "I love Chakotay. I have for a long time."

"Rather pitiful, aren't we?" said the Doctor bitterly. "Two broken heated love birds, sitting here sharing our woes while the objects of our affection are off doing God knows what together."

"Yes," she said absently, suddenly remembering her conversation with Tom the night before. "Or, actually no."

"No?" he said with surprise. "It certainly looks that way to me."

"No, I mean they aren't off doing God knows what together. I'd almost forgotten. Tom told me last night, I'm sure of it. How could I forget that?" she muttered to herself.

"Forget what?" He looked concerned. "You're blabbering. Do you need another injection?"

"No," she chuckled, realizing how idiotic she must have sounded. "I don't need an injection. I just remembered some of my conversation with Tom last night. He told me that Seven is on Vulcan, and she and Chakotay haven't seen each other for two weeks."

The Doctor looked skeptical. "Well, given the source of the information, are you sure of it's veracity? Mr. Paris has always been the leader of the rumor mill."

"I know, but this information came right from the horse's mouth."

Now he really looked confused. "What horse? Captain, are you sure you're feeling all right?"

She laughed aloud. "It's an old Earth expression, Doctor. It means the information came directly from the source itself."

"Well, you could've just said that in the first place."

"Chakotay had dinner with Tom and B'Elanna recently. He mentioned that Seven was on Vulcan, and he was headed to Arizona to see some friends. And he said…" She paused and attempted to suppress her silly grin. "He said he missed me."

"Well what does that mean, exactly?" he asked. "Does it mean they aren't seeing each other any more? Or does it just mean that he hasn't seen her since she left Earth?"

"I'm not sure," she said honestly. "But I got the impression that Tom knew something more. He encouraged me to seek Chakotay out and tell him how I feel." She rose to her feet and began pacing, as she always did when she was in deep thought. "I had decided to stay away and let Chakotay have a chance at happiness based on something that Admiral Janeway told me when she first came to Voyager."

"And what was that?"

She considered it for a moment. "Well, I didn't tell anyone at first. Temporal Prime Directive, you understand. But we have changed the future considerably by coming home 16 years ahead of schedule, so I suppose that future is irrelevant." She stopped pacing and turned to face him. "In Admiral Janeway's timeline, Chakotay and Seven were married." She paused to gage his reaction. The hologram looked horror-stricken. "I know, I felt the same way when she told me. Naturally, I thought my chance with Chakotay had passed. I figured I'd refused him for too long, and I just wanted him to be happy. Even if that meant I had to watch him be with Seven."

"And now?"

"And now I realize that Seven may not be making him happy after all. Things are different now, we aren't on the ship anymore. I'm not his captain anymore. We always had an unspoken agreement between us, Chakotay and me. We never said it aloud, but I think it was always understood that when we made it home, we would finally be able to have a life together. I guess I always thought he'd wait for me."

"Perhaps he may have had a future with Seven on Voyager because he knew you were unattainable as long as we were on the ship. But now that we're home, well - that changes everything."

"Exactly," she grinned. "That's what I'm hoping. Tom's right, I need to go to him. I need to tell him how I feel. I owe him that much. And you need to do the same thing, Doctor."

The Doctor followed Kathryn to her bedroom, where she pulled out her small travel bag and began packing. "What are you doing?"

"I'm packing. And so should you."

"Me? Where am I going? For that matter, where are YOU going?"

"I'm going to Arizona," she said. "Before I lose my nerve." She looked up at him as she stuffed a blue sundress into her bag. "And you're going to Vulcan. You can use my private shuttle. Now get moving."

He looked genuinely surprised. "That sounded suspiciously like an order, Kathryn."

"If that's what it takes," she said, her hands on her hips. "You need to go to Vulcan and find Seven. Then you need to take her some place nice, some where private."

"I see," he said patronizingly. "And then what? You seem to have this all figured out."

She regarded him with as much patience as she could muster. Given her slamming headache and nervous stomach, it wasn't much. "You're going to tell her how you feel about her. Not some quick deathbed confession in front of half the senior staff this time, either. You need to sit with her, look her in the eyes, and calmly tell her how much she means to you."

"I don't know…"

"You have to do this, Doctor. At least then she'll know. No matter what happens between you, she'll know that you love her. That has to count for something." She regarded her old friend affectionately. "She deserves to hear the truth. And you deserve a chance. Don't shortchange yourself, my friend. She can't make an informed decision if she doesn't know how you really feel. Give her a chance, hmmm?"

The Doctor seemed to consider this new information for a moment. "Going to Vulcan in the famous Captain Janeway's personal shuttle. How could a hologram refuse?" His nervousness showed clearly in his face. "I suppose I should get going. Vulcan is a big planet. Any suggestions where I should begin?"

She bit her lower lip in thought. "Start with Tuvok. I bet he knows where she is."

They shared a meaningful gaze, and then the Doctor pulled his captain into an embrace. "Thank you for everything, Kathryn. I hope you find what you're looking for."

"And you," she answered softly, squeezing his shoulder.

He paused in the bedroom doorway and looked back at her. "Oh, and take a shower, would you? You're likely to scare the commander to death with that hairdo. You look like an electrocuted African Bush woman. "

She laughed and ran her hands through her unruly locks. "Yes, Doctor."

She watched his retreating from as he exited her apartment. Oh, Seven, don't break his heart, she thought silently. And Chakotay, don't break mine. No matter how many times I've torn yours out. She took one last look at herself in the mirror. The face that stared back at her was a little older than the one she wore when she first left Earth. A few more wrinkles, each with a story to tell. Her complexion was wan and the dark circles under her eyes made her look like she had the flu. But there was hope burning in her blue eyes for the first time since Admiral Janeway stormed into her life and told her none too gently that Chakotay had moved on. And that was all she needed – a little hope.

Well … that and a hot bath.

TO BE CONTINUED…