Link tentatively touched one of his bandages and winced. "Who now, G-Man?"
"Yo' mamma!"
"That's not nice, Ganon. Just tell me who's up."
"No, really, yo' foo! She don't sign up - it's yo' mamma!"
Link practically choked as he watched a strange Hylian woman step onto the stage. She waved at him, smiling hugely. "Hi, honey!" She said. "I'm here to sing a song to you! I'll sing one of my favorites, how's that, my little Linky-poo? I'll sing 'Baby One More Time!'"
Link winced. "Mom? This is a Christmas Carol Contest - not washed-up pop stars. Okay? And besides - you're dead."
Link's mother smiled even wider, if it were even possible. "Nonsense, honey. I'll sing whatever I want to my baby! And I'm not dead, sweetheart. I just faked my death so I could have an affair with Ingo!" She lowered her voice a bit, and whispered, "By the way, you have a little sister now!"
Link really did choke at that, and fell out of his seat, his face rapidly turning from red to blue to purple. Ganon rushed up the aisle and pulled his hand back really, really far...
WHACK!!!!
Link collapsed, wheezing, to the ground. Ganon shook his head and returned to his seat. Link's mother laughed and grinned even wider as the music started.
Suddenly, off came the traditional Hylian dress, revealing an unmodest, at best, torn-up rag of a dress, black with glitter strewn across it. If Link wasn't already unconscious, he slipped into oblivion at that point.
Which is fortunate, considering his mother started dancing right then, stripper-style.
"Oooh, baby baby,
How was I supposed to know-oh,
That somethin' wasn't right here?
Oooh, baby baby,
I shouldn't have let you go
And somethin' somethin' somethin'...
Show me...Oh!
How you want it to be
Tell me baby
'Cause I need to know now...uhhh....I forgot...
My loneliness is killin' me...Ooh!
I must confess, I still believe
When you're not with me I lose my mind
Give me a sigh-igh-ign...
HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!
Ooooh, baby baby,
My reason to breathe, is you!
Boy you got me flyin'!
I...something' baby there's nothin' that I wouldn't do...
That's not the way I planned it!
Show me...Oh!
How you want it to be
Tell me baby
'Cause I need to know now...uhhh....I forgot...
My loneliness is killin' me...Ooh!
I must confess, I still believe
When you're not with me I lose my mind
Give me a sigh-igh-ign...
HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!"
She walked up and down the stage with the microphone dancing, "Breakdown!" She shouted in the middle of the music. "Yeah! Uh-huh!"
"Show me...Oh!
How you want it to be
Tell me baby
'Cause I need to know now...uhhh....I forgot...
My loneliness is killin' me...Ooh!
I must confess, I still believe
When you're not with me I lose my mind
Give me a sigh-igh-ign...
HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME......ACK!"
Link's mother disappeared from sight as a trapdoor opened beneath her. Link stood by the stage controls, panting, his hair strewn over his face, as if he had really struggled to drag himself, half-unconscious, over to the controls.
"I...liked...you...better...when...you...were...dead..." He panted. "Psycho woman."
"Yo' mamma!"
"That's not nice, Ganon. Just tell me who's up."
"No, really, yo' foo! She don't sign up - it's yo' mamma!"
Link practically choked as he watched a strange Hylian woman step onto the stage. She waved at him, smiling hugely. "Hi, honey!" She said. "I'm here to sing a song to you! I'll sing one of my favorites, how's that, my little Linky-poo? I'll sing 'Baby One More Time!'"
Link winced. "Mom? This is a Christmas Carol Contest - not washed-up pop stars. Okay? And besides - you're dead."
Link's mother smiled even wider, if it were even possible. "Nonsense, honey. I'll sing whatever I want to my baby! And I'm not dead, sweetheart. I just faked my death so I could have an affair with Ingo!" She lowered her voice a bit, and whispered, "By the way, you have a little sister now!"
Link really did choke at that, and fell out of his seat, his face rapidly turning from red to blue to purple. Ganon rushed up the aisle and pulled his hand back really, really far...
WHACK!!!!
Link collapsed, wheezing, to the ground. Ganon shook his head and returned to his seat. Link's mother laughed and grinned even wider as the music started.
Suddenly, off came the traditional Hylian dress, revealing an unmodest, at best, torn-up rag of a dress, black with glitter strewn across it. If Link wasn't already unconscious, he slipped into oblivion at that point.
Which is fortunate, considering his mother started dancing right then, stripper-style.
"Oooh, baby baby,
How was I supposed to know-oh,
That somethin' wasn't right here?
Oooh, baby baby,
I shouldn't have let you go
And somethin' somethin' somethin'...
Show me...Oh!
How you want it to be
Tell me baby
'Cause I need to know now...uhhh....I forgot...
My loneliness is killin' me...Ooh!
I must confess, I still believe
When you're not with me I lose my mind
Give me a sigh-igh-ign...
HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!
Ooooh, baby baby,
My reason to breathe, is you!
Boy you got me flyin'!
I...something' baby there's nothin' that I wouldn't do...
That's not the way I planned it!
Show me...Oh!
How you want it to be
Tell me baby
'Cause I need to know now...uhhh....I forgot...
My loneliness is killin' me...Ooh!
I must confess, I still believe
When you're not with me I lose my mind
Give me a sigh-igh-ign...
HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!"
She walked up and down the stage with the microphone dancing, "Breakdown!" She shouted in the middle of the music. "Yeah! Uh-huh!"
"Show me...Oh!
How you want it to be
Tell me baby
'Cause I need to know now...uhhh....I forgot...
My loneliness is killin' me...Ooh!
I must confess, I still believe
When you're not with me I lose my mind
Give me a sigh-igh-ign...
HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME......ACK!"
Link's mother disappeared from sight as a trapdoor opened beneath her. Link stood by the stage controls, panting, his hair strewn over his face, as if he had really struggled to drag himself, half-unconscious, over to the controls.
"I...liked...you...better...when...you...were...dead..." He panted. "Psycho woman."
