OaFe3ff
Orlandu and Friends
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Episode 3
Stirke of the not-so-important characters
Sequel to the critically acclaimed OaF: Episode 1, and the critically criticized OaF: Episode 2

In a world where you try to be important, is there really any room for the minor players?- Daveed Spaid (I think)

Episode 3: Section 0.51238495630465
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The supporting guys

Remember The Lone Ranger? If you're my age, you probably don't. I'm not sure what his sidekick was, but could the Ranger be as good without him? Maybe, I'm not sure, I'm not even sure what Ranger-Man did for a living. I'll pick a better example: The Pilsbury Doughboy. He doesn't have a sidekick, but anyone who can toss their cookies at will then allow himself to be jabbed in the stomach is alright in my books. So, now that we've got down I'll continue with the adventure.

Episode 3; Chapter 1
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Flux Constipated; International Man of something-something

Age: 17
Sexual Orientation: Straight as a ruler
Fav weapon: Bare hands.. when coated with spikey-steel-sandpaper.
Favorite Show: SAILOR MOON!
Favorite Cartoon Character: SAILOR MOON!
Favorite Food: SAILOR MOO-... oh.. wait.. uhh... tacos?
Likes: Girls
Dislikes: Girls with BO, unless their BO smells like flowers, which isnt likely to happen.
Hates: Daniel Naxi
Favorite ugly-fat girl from TV show "The facts of life": The hot one.
Affinity to Britney Spears: Wants to hump her butt.
Motto: "I have a tattoo, and YOU DON'T!"
More: Flux Capacitator is a good friend of Melusine, and Jay (see below) and shares the same apartment as the two (None of them are dating or married to each other). He has his own agenda, and his life is a mystery to some... except that he can't live without cheese. He is extremely skilled at pretending and can change jobs at will. Other than that, nothing is known about him. Nanaki is his arch-nemesis.

A Short Story About A Guy Fighting a Neo-Naxi

Krackoooo! Was the noise of a well placed kick smashing through 17 layers of finished wood, and landing a blow on a jaw. Flux was engaged in combat with his arch-nemesis Daniel Naxi (although Naxi is more of a moron than anything). Naxi staggered back word, turned his head, and spit out a mouth full of blood, teeth and jaw bones.

"Your a weakling!" Naxi taunted as he rubbed his jaw. Tears rolled down his face. "I could beat you with both arms tied behind my back."

"Then why am I beating you?" Flux asked.

"I'm letting you win, just so you don't feel bad. When I feel like it, your toast."

"I just smashed your freakin' jaw out!"

"No you didn't, that was just a love tap."

"You're friggin' stupid." Flux yelled. He followed up with his patented "Groin Basher" (which Naxi stole for his own sick little 'games'). The punch missed and landed in his stomach. Nanaki spit out even more blood, and some black stuff.

Flux continued his assault by stringing in a 'Bicentennial Pushup Punch'. BAM!! Another well place stomach shot. Naxi now stopped spitting up blood, but continued up with the black stuff.

Flux couldn't stop, he was on a roll. He ended the combo with a 'Screaming Monkey Deathlock Grip' and snapped Naxi's neck, causing him to hit the ground hard.

"Daniel?" Flux asked. "Daniel are you okay?" He kneeled down beside him. "Daniel wake up!" he shook him. "Daniel this isn't funny." Daniel still didn't wake up. "Daniel please wake up! I'll give you all my pog!"

Daniel's right eye opened up and stared at Flux. "First show me that you have some." He said.

Flux screamed and punched Daniel in the stomach, this time drawing green stuff. Only the green stuff oozed from his eyes. Flux stood up, put his hands in his pockets and walked away whistling. No one ever noticed that Daniel was gone, and Flux was never charged.



Episode 3; Chapter 2
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Jay (Just Jay)

Age: Old enough to get married
Sexual Orientation: Fairly straight, but veers of the line a smidget (just kidding, he's straight)
Fav. Weapon: Guns
Fav. Show: Gone in 60 Seconds
Fav. Food: Pizza
Motto: "I'll KILL YOU ALL!!"
More: Jay is the best car theif in the world. The only problem is that he knows very little about actual driving. He mostly steals the parts.

A Short Story About His Escapades

Jay leaned against the brck wall, and flipped up his coats collar. It was getting chillier out. He had to finish this job and get out.

He was in the parking zone at the building where he worked. Every day he noticed a car, parked in his parking spot. It never moved and he was getting mad because of this. It was midnight and Jay had to wait for the last person to leave. There would be only five security guards tonight, but they would patrolling the entire building. The first guard would be this way at 12:18, then the second at 12:47. Jay planned to be at the car, and back before the first guard arrived. His mission was to steal something, anything from the car that would render it useless. Jay was looking over his plans, and remembered that there would be another guard a few feet away from the car. Fortunately, the guard turns his head away for 10 seconds, then looks towards where he was standing for another 10 seconds the guard could only see him if he was standing almost directly in front of him. If Jay ducked and walked lower than the guards head the guard wouldn't notice him.

"ATTENTION!" A loudspeaker boomed. "TED AND FRED YOU ARE BEING RELIEVED BY JAKE, BOB, AND HENRY WILL BE WORKING TODAY!!!"

"Dang!" Jay said. "A slight setback, but no problem."

"ATTENTION JAKE, BOB, AND HENRY YOUR JOBS ARE TO WALK AROUND THE PARKING COMPLEX WITH YOUR GUNS DRAWN AND FINGER POISED ON THE TRIGGER!! JAKE, YOU ARE TO WALK AROUND THE CAR IN JAY'S PARKING SPOT SLOWLY. BOB AND HENRY GO TO OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COMPLEX AND WALK SLOWLY BACK AND FORTH SLOWLY. WHEN YOU GET TO THE WALLS STARE AT THEM FOR A FEW MINUTES THEN TURN AROUND AND REPEAT!"

"damn. Looks like it's time to go into badass mode." He said to himself, as he adjusted his gloves and pulled out two silenced pistols. "Time to head into high gear."

*incredibley slow motion*
Jay dove around the corner of the parking complex and fired off the rounds. He killed the guy walking around the car, the guard fell down and disappeared.

*end slow motion*

The second guard on the right side of the complex said "Huh? What was that noise? Huh?" and slowly walked over to the car. He looked back and forth and said. "Huh?" A question mark appeared above his head. He saw nothing and went back to his post, taking no notice of the fact that his pal was gone and in his place was a floating-rotating ammo box. Jay plugged a hole in the guard just as the left guard passed by. He saw Jay, and Jay was out of ammo.

"GET THE INTRUDER!" The loudspeaker ordered.

The remaining guard started firing at Jay. Jay ran around the corner and hid behind some boxes. The guard ran over to them and starting to walk towards Jay. Jay just continued to walk around until:

"RETURN TO YOUR POSITION!" Was ordered

As the guard was running back to his post. Jay strangled and killed him, then proceeded over to the car.

"To easy." He said to himself, as he left from under the car with the muffler. He stood up, and looked at the muffler. Then ducked back under the car to replace it. He then fished through his pockets took out his car keys unlocked the car door, and drove off in the car.

Episode 3; Chapter 3
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The Great and Honorable Melusine (or Mely-nu-nu for all you mortals)
NOTE: Melusine gets a different set of bio stuff
Age: 18 I think, she might be 19
Race: She says she's an elf, but I'm thinking an American
Job: I'm not sure, but she writes good stories.
Motto: "JAY! GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THAT OVEN! FLUX THE ELECTRICAL OUTLET ISN'T A 'PLEASURE OUTLET' THOSE ARE ELECTRICAL SHOCKS YOUR FEELING!"
More: Melusine gets the worst job ever. She has to watch Jay and Flux because she's more mature. Wacky stuff does happen to her too.

A Short Story About A Female American Elf

Melusine was sitting in her kitchen, doing whatever American's do (besides drinking beer and shooting people, because she had just finished shooting a beer can). Suddenly thirteen ninjas fell from the ceiling, pick themselves up, dusted themselves off and got into their fighting poses. They starting flying around the room, and knocked over Mel's coffee.

"I wish you hadn't done that." She said calmly, wiping the coffee off her lap. "I have a black belt in karate and a matching bag."

Mel got into her fighting pose and slammed a fist into Ninja 1, killing it instantly. She kicked backwards and killed the Ninja behind her.

Ninja 3 stopped. "Wait a minute! This is Melvin Unsine's house, right?"

"No, this is Melusine."

"Uh-oh."

"Who are you guys?"

"We're with the governement." The Ninja took a pen out of his pocket and snapped up the end. "You never saw anyof this."

He pressed a button and a small light hit Mel in the forhead. The ninjas ran out of the building.

"Stupid government Ninjas." She muttered and sat back down to her coffee.



Episode 3; Chapter 4
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Zalmo

Age: Unknown
Sex: Not yet
Fav. Weapon: "My art is my weapon"
Fav. Show: Anyone he was in.
Motto: "I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beggining and the End"
More: Zalmo is the hottest star in all of Ivalice. He has his own line of toys, like the ever-popular Tickle-Me Zalmo, and the popular Zalémon video game and toy line. Hes stared in movies such as Matrix 2 and three, and has his own cartoon series about four detective kids and their parrot who solve monster mysterys called Polly-Doo Where are you? . He also worked with Orlandu on a rap album that required three parental advisory warnings. He is also head of the Church and considered the most important man in the country.

A Short Story About About A Pop Icon

Zalmo walked down main street checking parking meters for heretics (almost exactly like a parking ticket, only with a Heretic Ticket you get killed).

"Heretic...heretic..." He said as he placed large stickers on the windshield of the cars. "Heretics! They're everywhere. I should just order this entire town to be destroyed. That'll teach them to tick me off."

And that was it, no long storyline, no witty punch line. Just a boring little story about the little a-hole he is.