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WARNING: This episode has a little more 'offensive' material than the last three, but only for Mustadio's chapter as it says the word retard. So if you get offended by that then, oh well, lighten up.

Orlandu and Friends
----------------------
Episode 4; Chapter 1
The New Red and Blue make a Different Color Seal - By Ziploc.

Ramza called for a 'family' meeting in the backyard of their now torched house. (caused by Algus. See Chapter 1)

"Okay, first things first." Ramza began. "Rafa, call the fire department. I have a feeling that our neighbours forgot to while they
were laughing."

"Roger." Rafa said, she ran off.

"Malak, lend me your hat. Since I was fired, you guys are all going to get jobs. Meet back in exactly 30 minutes. I'll have your
jobs ready then."

****

They returned, Ramza had the hat filled with little papers.

"Alright," He began, "everyone pull a name out. Each paper will be numbered, and contain a job. The job is what job you will
apply for, and the number is in how many days you will start. Fifty percent of your profit will go to the family saving, which only
I will have access too. Hat is provided by Malak."

Everyone clapped, Malak rose, bowed then sat back down.

"Sounds good to me," Malak said.

Each of the family members reached into a hat and pulled out a paper. (they will be listed in the order they were pulled out in)

1.) 3- Blockbuster (Orlandu)
2.) 2- Convenient Store Clerk (Rafa)
3.) 14- Police Officer (Malak)
4.) 7- Bus Driver (Mustadio)
5.) 19- Pop Can collector (Flux) - Even though FLux wasn't there.
6.) 1- Human Body Shield (Orinas)
7.) 31- Go back to school (Ramza)

There were a few other names picked by some minor-supporting characters, but, for lack-of-creativity reasons, were excluded.

Episode 4
-----------
Chapter 2
Rafa and the Temple of Time.

Rafa rode up to the 24/7 store on her bike. She entered the store but on the uniform and awaited her training instructions. The
other employees just stared at her. The manager approached her.

"Who the hell are you?" She asked.

"Rafa Galfana, your new employee. I'm awaiting instructions."

"We don't need any help, we never even placed a want ads. Now get out, and if I EVER see you or ANY of your family in
ANY convinient store ANYwhere and in ANY country I will personally kill you."

"Hmph, she can't-"

"And yes, I own EVERY convinient store in the world. Plus I know what your family looks like."

Rafa left the store and walked over to her bike. "Maybe I should go get another job, or maybe I should go tell my family not to
go to any convenient stores... All this thinking is making me thirsty. I need a Slurpee."

Rafa turned around and walked back into the store. When she entered a nervous looking employee was standing there and
facing her.

"S-sorry. Ma'am." He said. "B-but the m-m-manager told me to dispose of you if you enter again."

Rafa snorted defiantly grabbed the cigarrette from her mouth and flicked it away (please note that smoking is a nasty habit, but
it does make you look cool in this sort of situation. Although Rafa had no cig one minute ago, it was added to make her look
like a bad mutha)

"Bring it on." She said.

The employee punch at her, she side-stepped grabbed his arm and kneed him in the gut. He fell like a well greased sack of
potatoes.
Rafa spun kick behind herself and caught another employee in the jaw. Both the jaw and employee were destroyed like a well
placed knee to an employees gut.
She turned around, just as another employee ran at her. Rafa pummeled the young lady in the stomach until she puked out
blood. She then finished it off with a well placed throw right into the incinerator.

Finally the manager approached, pushed Rafa over, and electrocuted her. Rafa's body was dumped into the back dumpster.

Episode 4
-----------
Chapter 3
Orlandu Busts a Move

Ramza drove Orlandu to the local Blockbuster, where Orlandu was to sign up for a job. This time, they had an appointment.

The manager met with them, and led Orlandu to the interveiwing room. They returned a half an hour later.

"Did you know I was a communist?" Orlandu asked Ramza.

"ORLANDU! No you aren't! I keep telling you that! just because you think everything should belong to you DOESN'T mean
you're a communist."

"This was scientific testing though." the manager said. "And Orlandu also seems to hate a certain ethnic group too, so he's also a
Nazi."

"But I also hate Nazi's so I'm a Contradictionist, and since I don't know what that means I was somehow proven clinically
dead."

"On a lighter note, licorice is half of at the convinient store and Orlandu is hired."

"Twizzlers, eh?" Ramza said. "I think I'll pick up a pack or two at that store that Rafa works at. See ya."

And Orlandu started his first day at work.

Episode 4
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Chapter 4
I must be a Bus Driver because I'm taking you all to school.



Mustadio entered the Bus garage to apply for his new job. He was absolutely thrilled with all the bright shades of yellow. A tear
trickled from his face.

"I see you like what you're looking at." A man said, walking out from the shadows. "Which one of my fine ladies do you have
your eye on?"

"That one." Mustadio said,poitning to one.

"Ah. A fine choice. Josephine here is a fine lady, she'll do whatever you want for a small fee."

"Actually, I have no money. I came here for a job."

"Really. Well around here, they call me Ted the Bus Driver. I'm in charge of all the buses and bus drivers around here. I'll give
you a little test."

"Sweet. What is it."

"You'll drive for us for a month. If you survive for that month you're in. During this time period you will be paid only 1000 gil for
the entire month."

"Question" Mustadio raised his hands

"You only need raise one hand, but what is it?"

"Do I get sidewinders one this bus?"

"Not until month 10, for this trial run you get 'dumb' missles. From month two until month 10 you will get low quality heat
seekers."

"Okay. Do I ride one of these buses."

"No no no, not until you're an official driver. Begginer's drive the retards ride."

"Is that politically correct?"

"FINE! The retard BUS!"

"I guess that will do, but how can anybody survive that!?"

"Usually they don't" Ted said ominouly walking back into the shadows. Be back here tomorrow at six."


Episode 4
----------
Chapter 5
What ya gonna do when he comes for you?

Malak was sitting at the police officer exam table. The Ivalice police force was hurting bad for new officers so the entrance
exam was dumbed down significantly.

Question 1:
You see a suspect in the act of commiting a crime. What do you do?
I wood shoot the bum and laff at his ded bodee ahahahahahahahaa!

Question 2:
You are ordered not to shoot. Do you?
Yes I wood

Question 3:
Chose which animal you think would best suit your personality. Explain.
I choose what ever kills things just becuz. I choosed this becuz I like to do this. I like to heer Limp Bizkit in my stereeo.

Question 4:
How fast is too fast?
I go watever speed i lik becuz it's my way! my way or the highway!

Question 5:
Someone offers you $200 to look the other way. What do you do?
C qwestin won. $200 is 2 little.

Malak signed the bottom and handed in the incomplete test of 50 questions.

After careful consideration the Cop Comitee approached Malak.

"We're sorry to say this Malak-"

"I didn't make it?" Malak was sad.

"Oh no, you made it alright. It's just that you will have to start at the lowest class... Grunt. And we can only give you a four
shooter for starters."

"SWEET! When do I start?"

"How's now sound?"

And so, Malak was put in charge of Ivalices safety.

Episode 4
-----------
Chapter 6
Mustadio must be a bus driver cause he's taking me to school

Ramza pulled up into the school parking lot, holding Orinas by the hand. As soon as he stepped out of the car a gun began
firing. Ramza held up the little boy and was protected by the on-coming hail of bullets.

A group of teens stepped forward. "Hey," One said. "What's your name?"

"R-Ramza I'm new at this school."

"Cool. My name is James Wun. This is my posse. The two guys over there are Jacob Too and Will Three. The chick is Sandra
For. She's my gal so don't touch her."

"Hello." Ramza nodded.

"I like you kid. Looks like you're going to have an easy time here. Stick with us and you'll go places."

"RAMZA!!!" The principal yelled.

"Scram! It's the Truant Officer." Wun yelled. The four people ran and left Ramza holding the dead Orinas.

"So. You are in cahoots with those thugs? Planning on beating up my car with that child, eh?"

"B-but I!"

"No butts. After school, report to the Principal."

This was the start to Ramza's very bad day.

Episode 4
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Chapter 7
Jay

Flux sat at his desk, with his feet up. He took out his pack of Popeye Cigarettes placed on in his mouth and attempted to light it.

"Flux!" Melusine called from her desk on the opposite side of the room. "You can't smoke Popeye Cigarettes."

"Oh yeah. I forgot." Flux said as he threw away his cig. He pulled out his pak, placed one in his mouth and attempted to light it
again. Melusine just sighed.

"Hey guys." Jay said, from his desk in the middle of the room. "Don't you think that it's strange that we were hired and then the
boss and everyone else left?"

"What are you talking about?" Melusine asked. "I work here, you guys just set up your desk and started playing ER."

"Shut up STAT!" Flux yelled.

"MELUSINE!" The intercom yelled. "YOU'RE STILL THERE?!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE. WE PLACED A
BOMB IN THE BUILDING AND ARE TRYING TO KILL FLUX AND JAY!!! OVER!!"

"ooooooooooooooh crap!" Melusine said. "We got to get out of here as action packed as possible. Jay, you take the stairs.
Flux you take the window. I'll go down the elevator."

"MELUSINE!" The intercom yelled. "WE PLACED SMALLER BOMBS IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS. IT WON'T
DESTROY THE ENTIRE BUILDING, JUST DESTROY EXITS. I'M ALSO SENDING UP SOME TROOPERS TO
DISPOSE OF YOU ALL. I'VE DECIDED TO KILL YOU TOO BECAUSE YOU ARE SIDING WITH THEM!!OVER!"

Jay ran down the stairs. "Crap!" He said, he swore horribly. "What kind of coincedence lands me on the 20th floor?"

He arrived at floor 18 uneventfully. It was this floor, however, that he met up with the first wave of troopers. He dove behind a
corner as the guards patrolled the floor.

"Good thing I brought my silenced PP7 now with Tissue Piercing Power©. PP7 The Future in Killing Power."

Jay loaded the weapon and peered around the corner. There was a guard no more than three feet away from him, facing away.
Jay slowly turned around the corner and aimed his weapon. Later that day, the guards family was saddened to find out that he
died of lung cancer.

Jay moved the poor man to the side and walked slowly to the next intersecting hallway. Walking away in one direction was a
guard down the hall in the opposite direction was another guard. Jay thought for a moment, then fired at the leg of one of the
guards. That guard screamed and turned around.

"You idiot!!" He screamed to the other guy. "Why'd you do that!?"

BLAMM! The injured guard fired at the other guards forehead. One down one to go.

Jay rolled into the hall, stayed curled up and began rolling at the remaining injured guard. The guard frantically reloaded, but it
was too late, Jay uncurled pulled out an extra sPP7 and began firing randomly. He then curled back up and rolled away from
the dead guard.

He rested one floor down. What was happening to Flux and Melusine? Were they all right?

Episode 4
-----------
Chapter 8
Why yes... They were

Melusine's elevator ride was uneventful. Flux adopted a new kitten, but other than that his trip was also uneventful.

Jay ended up using the elevator too and the three met up again at their favorite coffee shop where they discussed their lives.