***
The Evening of the Next DayKat and Becca sat on Lily's bed, trying to decide what to do to divert the three marauders' attention (Lily had gone to the library to "let them think," which had brought mad scribbling from Kat.)
"Well," Becca said with a slightly "out-there" look on her face, "I sure know what I'd like to do to 'divert' Sirius' attention!"
Kat made excessive gagging noises and pretended to strangle herself.
"Becca! Gross! Now you've got a mental picture in my head! Yeck!" she gave a shudder before continuing. "What I think we should do is get the whole school's attention instead of just Sirius and Remus. And James. That way, no one can tell that Lily was the one who put the potion in James's drink!"
Becca sighed regretfully.
"If we must . . . ."
"Glad you agree," Kat said sarcastically. "Now, I was thinking about this all last night, and I think I have a good idea."
Becca leaned forward excitedly, all notions of Sirius forgotten – for now.
"What we do," Kat continued, "is we divert their attention by pretending to be someone else. I don't know about you, but I don't really feel like getting detention for the next two weeks." Becca nodded impatiently, and Kat continued in a satisfied tone. "So, we'll be impersonating Lucius and Severus."
Becca gasped, eyes widening.
"Lucius and Severus?! Are you out of your mind?! They'll kill us if we even pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend being them!!"
Kat waved a hand, dismissing it as unimportant.
"I'm not done, Becca."
She sneaked a look around then, even though there was no one, leaned in close and whispered into Becca's ear. Becca's eyes widened, and her face broke out into a grin. By the end of Kat's little "plan", both girls were heaped on the bed, laughing hysterically.
"That," Becca said between sharp breaths of air, wiping a tear off her cheek, "was brilliant."
Kat allowed herself one more grin before continuing in a business-like manner. She never let herself get too carried away.
"Ok, we'll need a couple things for this to work." She leaned over to her bed and pulled out a clipboard, touching each item on the list lightly as she spoke. "First, James's cloak. That's the most important. We'll also need some explodeepofs – I already got some from Zonko's – and costumes, of course. Do you think we should have music?"
"Naw, I'm sure we'll be making enough noise by ourselves," Becca grinned.
" I guess you're right. So let's review. We have explodeepofs and costumes already, so all we need is James' cloak."
"Um . . .Kat?"
"What?"
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
"Uh . . . no . . . I don't think so, anyway. Am I?"
"Duh! How do we look like Lucius and Severus?"
"Oh, that! Not to worry, my dear Becca! I've got it all taken care of!"
Becca arched her eyebrows.
"Reaaaaaally?"
"Yes, reaaaaaally! Here, I'll show you."
She pulled out what looked like a small brown piece of folded paper.
"This," she explained, "is an expando-closet."
She set the paper-like object on the floor and tapped it once with her wand. Becca gasped as the thing began to unfold repeatedly, finally ending up in a sturdy wood closet that reached her hips.
"Wow!" she exclaimed. "That's cool!"
Kat shrugged modestly and opened its lightly carved doors, revealing a large assortment of objects – including, much to Becca's delight, several pictures of Remus.
Kat's hand hovered over the various items, stopping now and then to peer at the labels beneath them. Finally, she gave a small "aha!" and pulled out a vial of . . .stuff from the back of the closet.
"Polyjuice potion!" she exclaimed triumphantly.
Becca gaped, blinking several times as though trying to register what she was seeing.
"Polyjuice Potion???? Kat, how in the world did you . . . What . . .how . . .?"
She stuttered off, completely at loss for words. Kat smiled – rather smugly, Becca thought – and explained it to her while gesturing with the potion.
"It's a long story, really. Maybe I'll explain it to you someday we have more time."
"You better!"
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, now, our only problems are how to get a part of Lucius and Severus into the potion and how to get them out of the way – since we don't want them there when we appear with their faces."
"Of course . . . ."
"Any ideas?"
"Well, I'm not sure this'll help, but . . . I know they both will do anything to get some chocolate. Which is weird, really, since they're incredibly creepy guys. Who would've thought they'd like something normal like chocolate?"
A wicked grin split Kat's face in half.
"Splendid," she murmured.
***
Half an hour later
Becca slammed all her weight on the closet door while Kat locked it with a small key that fit most anywhere. Angry shouts and bangs on the door from the two Slytherins could barely be heard unless they pressed their ear to the door.
"That," she breathed, "was close."
Kat smiled and pocketed the key, motioning her friend to join her walk down the hall.
"Yes it was, but, dammit, it's gonna be worth it!"
"Kat!"
"What?"
"You swore!"
"So?"
"Well . . . you never swear, that's all . . ."
Kat rolled her eyes as they reached the portrait hole.
"Wrinkled skin," they said in unison.
"What? Oh, yes, my dears. Please, hop right in," the Fat Lady answered, waving an absent-minded hand.
Kat and Becca made their way down the hallway quietly, trying to see if there was anyone there.
Their nerves released somewhat when they entered an empty common room.
"Ok," Kat whispered – it was so quiet, it only seemed natural, "now for the cloak."
They crept up the stairs to the boys' dormitories and opened the door quietly, stealing quick glances left and right.
When the room proved empty, they still walked on tiptoe – and still every single floorboard creaked – until they reached James' bed.
Becca knelt over the large chest at the foot of the dark four-poster bed. It was locked.
Kat looked at it, smiled, and waved her little key in the air. Becca smiled in return and snatched it from her hand.
Suddenly, footsteps were heard. Faint at first, but growing louder by the second. And definitely heading towards them. Kat made a grimace and waved Becca on, urging her to go faster.
Becca jiggled the key frantically in the small keyhole. The footsteps came up the stairs.
The lid of the chest popped open with a slight "click" and Becca dove in to find the cloak. Barely a second later, she held the silvery piece of cloth out triumphantly.
Kat snatched the cloak out of her hand, snapped the lid shut, and quickly spread the cloak between the two of them.
The door creaked open.
***
Sirius sang to himself as he stepped into the boys' dormitories.
"Oh, we've got this notion that we'd quite like to sail the ocean doo da doo da da dum da da doo da da dum . . ."
He threw himself onto his bed and pulled out a book labeled "diary" from underneath the mattress.
"Ho hum . . . Let's see here, October 20, 1971 . . . dungbombs in the girls' bathroom . . .my best moment . . . January 1st, 1972 . . . 'successfully released one thousand newts, frogs, and toads into the common room. School closed for an extra two days.' Ha!"
He flipped to a blank page and dipped his quill in ink.
"Hmm . . . Ok, so today is . . ."
He paused and looked around. There was no one there. Except . . .He was sure he had closed that door . . . and he could have sworn he had felt . . .
He reached up to his cheek and rubbed his finger on it.
When he took it down to look at it, it was red with lipstick. Sirius blinked, trying to put two and two together.
***
Becca plopped down on her bed and clutched a hand to her chest.
"Oh my god! For a minute there, I thought we were toast! I heard footsteps, and the key didn't work, and . . ." she dragged off, closing her eyes and flopping down on her back.
"I still think it was perfectly unnecessary for you to go up and kiss Sirius. Kiss him! In front of me! I've never been more disgusted in my life!" Kat muttered grumpily.
"Aww, come on, Kat!" Becca laughed, rotating herself so she leaned on her elbow. "He was so cute lying there! I couldn't help it!"
Kat snorted and crossed her arms.
"Well, Ka-at . . ." Becca said teasingly, "what would you have done if it had been Reeee-muuuuus?"
Kat flushed, and she mumbled halfheartedly about getting caught, but Becca knew she had won the argument.
"Ok, so now that we have our plan, perhaps we should notify Lily?"
"Of course," Kat agreed with relief, glad Becca had let the matter lie.
***
"So let me get this straight," Lily said in an exasperated voice. "You have a plan – a great on, from the way you guys are all excited about it – that involves James' cape, Lucius and Severus, of all people, explodeepofs, and costumes. Am I missing something?"
"Nope," Becca grinned.
"So remember, all you have to do tomorrow morning is be under their table by ten o'clock – that's when they usually have breakfast. At ten fifteen, we'll arrive with the . . . distraction."
She and Becca exchanged glances, and they both snickered.
"Oh," Kat, said, pulling out her memo pad, can you tell me what happened when you went to the library yesterday?"
Lily gave her a quizzical look, but told her all about it, from James' spell on the two of them – she noticed Becca and Kat look at each other in an odd way again! – to the horrid curse he put on her. Kat listened through it intently, all the time writing everything in handwriting that was impossible to read upside down (or right-side up, for that matter.)
***
The Next Morning (about 10:00)
Lily sat on the grimy floor, huddled into herself, grinding her teeth and sweating buckets at a time. Thank god the Hogwarts tables had the long tablecloths on top of them. She had sneaked out and settled herself there at five in the morning, to make sure no one caught her. She glanced at her watch again.
10:12.
She prayed Becca and Kat would arrive soon. She was not sure she could stand much more of staring at James' feet.
***
Kat looked at her watch.
"Ten o'clock," she announced to Becca, sitting on the bed next to her.
"Okay . . ."
Kat poured out enough of the potion for each of them, put a silvery blond hair in one and a pitch black one in the other, then raised her glass.
"Cheers."
"Cheers."
They gulped down the potion.
For a couple seconds, nothing happened. Then their features started to change. Very slightly, at first, then more and more until they finally ended up looking like Snape and Lucius.
Becca gaped when she looked into the mirror, but Kat only gave a satisfied nod and set about putting on her costume, Becca following shortly afterwards.
When they had finally completed decking themselves out in their outfits, Kat looked to Becca and asked, in a slightly trembling voice, for a surprise,
"Ready?"
"Ready."
They draped the cape over themselves and made their way down to the Great Hall, explodeepofs filling their pockets.
***
Any minute now, Lily thought nervously. Oh god, hurry up!
***
Becca and Kat padded up the stairs to the stage and positioned themselves so they faced the "audience."
"Ready?" Kat whispered.
"Ready!" Becca said fiercely.
They pulled out about half of the explodeepofs and threw them on the ground, throwing off the cape at the same time.
They were enveloped in a cloud of green and purple, giving Becca time to stuff the cape into a pouch sewed into her costume. The smoke dissipated, and Kat stepped forward.
***
Lily gave a start as she heard a loud "pop!" The explodeepofs, she thought grimly. She saw the three marauders swivel around to look at the stage. She would have to wait a bit longer to make sure their attention was well and truly captured . . .
***
Kat stepped through the smoke and threw back the large red cape that had been covering her under the invisibility cloak, revealing an elaborate pirate costume, complete with eye patch. She thrust her hand in front of her and bellowed as loud as she could,
"FIGARO, FIGARO, FIGARO!!!"
By now, all eyes were riveted on her. She began to sing, Becca joining her soon after she started.
"THE GRASSHOPPER WENT TO TOOOOOOOOWNNNN!! TO FETCH A BUCKET OF GRAAAAAAAAAAAAASS! THE ANTS WENT WITH THE GRAAAAAAAASSHOOOOOOOPPER . . ."
***
Becca stepped after Kat as soon as she heard the end of her opening . . . song. She wore a rather skimpy outfit, with baggy pants and a thin top like that girl Jasmine from the muggle story, Aladdin, she had heard about . . .
She joined Kat in her singing – it was complete random nonsense, just enough to divert everyone's attention – and frantically scanned the crowd for Lily.
After sweeping over the students once, she found her. Lily gave them a huge thumbs up, then scampered off to sit at a table.
"EVERYBODY NOW! OOOOOOOO, THE GRASSHOPPER WENT TO TOOOOOOOOOOOOWN! THE GRASSHOPPER WENT TO TOOOOOOOOOOOWN!"
Becca nudged Kat, indicating that Lily had done her job. Kat nodded slightly.
Becca danced around the stage – which looked decidedly odd on Lucius – and finally ended back in the middle, where Kat had already backed up.
"THE GRAAAAAAAAAASS! HOPPEEEEEEEER! LA LA LA LA LA!"
They put their feet next to each other and hit their toes together. Once. Twice. Three times. Throw.
They simultaneously threw down the explodeepofs – just in time, too; McGonagall was striding rapidly towards them – and covered themselves with the cape.
They managed, with some difficulty, to avoid the Professor without hitting her, and ran off to the Gryffindor common room.
***
The Great Hall erupted with mock applause and laughter, James and his friends included.
McGonagall and the prefects "shush"ed everyone, with several threats of detention if they did not stop "encouraging those ruffians."
Eventually, the hubbub died down, and everyone turned back to their food. The usual quiet babble of many tongues at once settled over the Hall.
James was about to shovel some more scrambled eggs into his mouth when he noticed a fiery head making itself towards him. He put his foot down and waited for Lily to arrive.
"Hey, Potter," she spat.
James smiled sweetly.
"Don't eat too much, Lily! We all know you have some weight problems."
Lily's eyes blazed, especially when Sirius snorted some orange juice through his nose and Remus spit out the food he had in his mouth. He had not let them out of his glee.
She was still looking at them with great fury when Sirius leaned over James' food.
"Hey, hey! What'cha got there? Orange juice? Oh good, I got grapefruit."
Without waiting for consent from James, he snatched up his glass and took a big gulp.
Lily's face drained of all color.
"Oh no," she whispered. "Oh no, oh no, oh no."
***
