~Disclaimer: I own none of them, I'm just playing with them, and I'll be returning them when I get through. I also stake no claim to any episodes that I use for the Flashbacks. They belong to the writers and FFC. I do however own Alex Wallace, his father and his secretary Connie, as well as anyone Scott knew when he was at home with his father.~
~There are also a few lines that I have taken from one of my other favorite shows, BTVS. I thought that Joss's words would fit better in this type of subtext. I am not changing the words in any way shape or form. They will also be returned when I'm done.~
~The song I'm using in this one isn't mine either, it belongs to the Backstreet Boys, it's called: How Did I Fall In Love With You? From their new album Black and Blue. I know some of you won't like them, but just read the lyrics before condeming the song. Please? The song is marked by (*)
~ Remember that flashbacks are still marked by (~)
There are a few flashbacks that are from previous part of the story, I'm putting them in here because they help define the characters that I'm trying to establish.
* I'm sorry it took me so long to get it up there, I just recently moved in with my dad, and it took me forever and a day to remember what I did with my computer. Then I had to find the disk that my stuff was on. Then there was New Years. Moving during a holiday is a nightmare, not that you guys care, you just want to read the story.
"The eyes are the window to ones soul." ~Unknown.
David had pulled out the CD player a few minutes after Alex and Daisy had gotten Shelby calm. Ezra had taken Scott up to the balcony to watch the events, knowing that Alex had his hands full with Shelby, but if she didn't calm down soon, Scott would be in a world of hurt. Juliet thumbed through her CDs to find the new one that her mother had sent her. Her Backstreet Boys CD. she slid it into the player, and turned it to the last track on the CD. This song had a lot of meaning to her and Auggie, and she hoped that it would help them Scott and Shelby as well. "How?" She leaned onto Auggie's shoulder and kissed his cheek. He was watching the balcony intently, not knowing what Scott was likely to do now that Shelby was hurting like that.
*Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like sister and brother
We understood we'd never be alone*
Shelby closed her eyes and leaned into Daisy. She didn't want to listen to the song, but the lyrics were too strong. The tears fell silantly as Daisy just rockd her back and forth. Knowing all too well how she must have looked to the others, Alex especially. She had never in her life acted as irrationally tward another Cliffhanger as she had that day. Parts of her mind wondered if Peter would ever forgive her for her outburst.
Scott watched the scene below him play out, not knowing what to do. He wanted to go down there and comfort her like he used to, but he knew what Alex would do to him if he did. The betrayal that he had comitted over the past weeks, and the damage that it had caused had completely outweighed the level of joy that everyone had felt that Scott was back. He looked at Ezra for a moment, and Ezra nodded sympathetically. It was as if Ezra knew how he was feeling somehow. It took a minute for Scott to relax, and he closed his eyes to remember all the times that him and Shelby had been togeather, the good times and bad. The memory that stuck out the most in both of their minds was one that was so incredibly painful it hurt to even brush over it lightly.
*Those days are gone, now I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don't wanna be alone tonight*
~ Night had fallen, and Scott had written Shelby a note to meet him out by the gazebo. Everyone had spent the better part of the day, and most of their time after Group preparing for the very first Morp. Kat had come up with the idea just toying with the idea of a Prom. Everyone thought it was just the coolest thing. Or at least those that had dates. There wasn't a person on campus that wasn't preparing for the Morp in some way. With the exception of the two that were alone in the gazebo of course. They had something completely different on their minds.
"Shelby I have to go," Scott said simply. The words cutting his heart in two. He had no way of knowing that he would be having the exact same conversation with her in a few short days. It was hard enough seeing her like this one time. He didn't know if he could do it again. "I can't stay here if I have any chance at all of being recruited to the right school." It was a lousy excuse for leaving the love of your life, but it made sense to him at the time. Football was his life, or it was. Once upon a time.
She didn't know why she kept feeling an ache in her chest where her heart was. She was sitting propped up against him, her feet on the bench curled up beside her body. "I know." She tried to sound as if she actually believed her own words, she knew that he would see right through her phony words. "It's ok," she tried again. "You have a life, who says you shouldn't go live it?" She didn't want him to go, but she wanted him to be happy, and if leaving her made him happy- She didn't want to finish that sentence.
Scott racked his brain for anything that would justify wat he was doing to her. Although he couldn't see her face, he could her her occasional sobs, he wasn't stupid enough to believe that her sniffles were from the cold. He knew what was going through her head. How she was only putting on a brave front so he wouldn't see that she was dying inside. "We can write letters," he tried to say lamely. "And talk on the phone." He knew how he sounded. He hated doing this, he wasn't even sure he knew why he was even doing it. He just thought it needed to be done. "You can come and and stay at my house, we got lots of room." Giving Shelby Merrick hope was one thing that no one was ever going to be good at. She had toughened herself up for reasons like these. But Scott had to try. He just had to give it a shot. "And I can come visit you here." His last sentence sounded more like a plea than a thought. It was as if he was begging her to believe him. "It doesn't have to be that bad. "
She turned her head slightly, and her lips brushed his. The kiss was sweet and tender, everything that Shelby's life had been lacking before she had come to Horizon. But Shelby could see the things that Scott couldn't. She could see how things would be after he left. How much things would change. For the worse. She had done so well since he had become part of her life. Now that he was leaving, things would never be the same for her. "It is that bad," she had to make him see her side. Reality. Taking a deep breath, she calmly looked into his deep eyes. SHe could lose herself forever in those eyes. "But thats the way it is. So lets not make promises we know we won't keep." Her eyes shut for a brief moment, as she tried to regain her composure. "Lets not hope for things we know will never happen." Suddenly her mind told her to just come clean with her life. To lay everything she was out there, and let him see it. It wouldn't stop him from leaving, but at least he would know what he was leaving. "In my whole life no one has ever looked at me the way you do." She self counciously ran a hand through her hair and over her face. "No one has ever touched my face or brush my hair out of my eyes like you do, and maybe this is really selfish, but it's not just you I'm gonna miss." She gazed deeply into his eyes and said the last line carefully, almost as if she wasn't sure she could force herself to say it. "It's the way that I feel when I'm with you that I'm gonna miss even more."
"It doesn't have to be over." He was begging her to believe him now. He sounded childish now, but he didn't care. He loved her more than life itself, and he needed her to be there for him. "It doesn't have to be the end."
She brushed the hair out of her eyes once again and turned away from him, stil maintaining contact with his body. "Yeah it does," her lungs took in a deep breath and let it out evenly. "So... um, just say goodbye. Ok? Please?" The tears fell slowly, but both of them knew they were coming. You don't give up the only person in the entire world that you ever truely love and expect it to be easy. "Just say it?" She leaned her head on his shoulder again, and they just sat in silance. Neither of them trusting their voice to convey their message. ~
*What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?*
Shelby finally fell asleep, and Alex laid down next to her in her sleeping bag. and wrapped her up tight with the spare blankets, before he knew it, he was asleep too. Completely unaware of the meaningful song that was sliding into Shelby's mind, plaguing it with thoughts of her past with Scott. The song wasn't up very loud, but to Shelby's mind it was defining. In her subconcious, he mind had linked with Scott's and suddenly she was remembering things that she wasn't there to witness.
~ "I went there . . . I interrupted her solo." The words hung in the air like a smoke that lingered too long. No one believed that Scott actually said what they had heard. He took a few deep breaths, trying to regain what little composure that he might have had at the time.
Daisy was the first one to react. "You did what?"
Scott rubbed his face again and looked at Daisy. Sophie was rapidly pulling her jacket back on. She had to get out there and find Shelby before the storm had the chance to get worse. "What happened?" She demanded as she relaced her boots to make sure they would be able to stand the water. "Tell me. Everything."
Scott didn't know where to start. "We had a fight."
"My God, how could you possibly be so . . . so . . . " For the first time in her life, Daisy was at a loss for words. It's a good thing Sophie didn't let her finish her thought.
"Daisy. Enough." Trying to refocus the group was the least of her troubles. "Scott did she say something? Anything? Did she . . . she say where she might have gone?" All it took was one slip and Shelby could be gone forever.
"No. "
Sophie couldn't take no for an answer.It was one of those times where if she didn't move fast, one of the children that she had come to love would be lost, and for the first time in her life, Sophie didn't know what to do. "Think Scott. This is important."
"No!" He didn't know who he was more angry at. Himself, or Daisy. "She didn't say anything. She probably didn't want to be there if I came back." Sophie didn't let him finish his sentence before she was out the door. Every one turned and glared at Scott.
"If anything happens to her out there-" Daisy started harsdhly.
Scott refused to listen to her. "Hey, just dump it, freak."
That was all it took for Daisy to come undone. She seemed to jump over the chair that seperated the two and grabbed Scott's shirt with both hands. For someone so small, Scott was suprised at the power she had behind her. His head hit the door from where she shoved him back. Hard. "WHAT were you thinking?" She yelled in his face.
Immediately Juliet and Auggie tried to help her get her off of him. Auggie seemed to be having more of an affect than Juliet. "Daisy, don't!" She shouted as Auggie tried to seperate them. "Stop it!" But the Daisy they knew, the sedate and philosophical girl, was gone. If she could have found a way to hurt him, she would. There was no more doubt in Juliet's mind that Daisy attacked her father with a seven iron. This was the side that of her that would have done it.
"If anything happens to her out there, it's YOUR fault." She shouted at his now shaken features. "You understand? Your fault . . . " She allowed Auggie to pull her away from the face that she could no longer stand to look at. "And I'll make you pay." Those were words that no one ever doubted. To this day they were words that Daisy had held on to. ~
*I hear your voice and I start to tremble
Brings back the child that I resemble
I cannot pretend that we can still be friends
Don't wanna be alone tonight *
Scott thought he had almost lost her that day. something he had sworn to himself that would never happen again. He didn't know how wrong he was. At one point in time he thought it was the single most scary thing that had ever happened to him. The feeling that he had caused something so terrible to happen, he didn't know anything could come close. Then his mind remembered something that had happened recently. It was far worse.
~Scott stood tall in the sunlight. He read the looks on everyones faces before attempting to sit among them. His former friends seemed less than pleased to see him. Juliet was extatic, as usual, but the others wore masks that shielded the emotions from him. He hadn't the slightest idea what any of them had been thinking. "So now I'm gutless?" He feigned shock, taking in the look of anger on Jess' face. "What's with the masks?"
Daisy stood unstedily and hugged him to her. "You mean Peter didn't tell you?" She clutched onto him tighter than she should have. Without Shelby there to add in her sarcastic remarks and quick quips, she didn't know what else to do.
"Didn't tell me what?" Scott let go of her and held her gaze, searching for some sort of sign. His eyes roamed around the gazebo, looking for whatever he could. "Wait, where's Shelby?"
A slight sniffle from the smallest of the group told him all he needed to know. The girl he had been woken up for the night before hadn't been a Ridgerunner, or even a Tracker. It had been the most precious thing in his life. Passing Daisy off to Ezra, Scott practicly dove for Jessica. He held onto her until she had calmed down enough to speak. "Peter found her next to the wood shed last night. Dr. Madison said she was smart. She said that Shelby knew exactly what she was doing. That she only lost as much blood as she-" Jessica broke down again. Scott just held her. Not knowing what else to do. ~
*What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?*
She would never know how hard he asked God to take his life instead of hers. He would gladly die if it meant that she would live a full and healthly life. He stood after making sure they were asleep down stairs and walked out of the lodge to and stopped out on the stairs.Shelby had heard of the event from her sister, and deep down she wished she had been there to see it. To see him that fearful that God might take someone he cared about away. There was no word in the English language to describe the feeling it left inside her. Then her mind recalled something that she wished it would have just skipped over. It pulled her into the memory as tears seeped from her deep blue eyes.
~ Shelby sat next to Scott on the dock, her feet dipping into the water. She couldn't believe what he had just said. "You can't be serious." She told him angrily. "You can't leave me here." Her eyes were searching his for some kind of sign that told her that he was joking. There was nothing reassuring in his eyes. Now she knew he was leaving. This was going to be her last night with him. "I love you, Scott. I don't want you to leave."
"I know, Shell. I know." He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. He could feel her pull away and she looked into his eyes. Then she kissed him.
This was a kiss unlike any of the other kisses that he and Shelby had ever experienced before. It was deep and passionate, laced with all the emotions he knew Shelby was feeling at that moment. When he finally broke the kiss, he saw something in her eyes that hadn't been there before. She took off her jacket and laid back, pulling him on top of her, giving him another long kiss. Scott could tell what she wanted, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't do it knowing he was leaving the next day.
Pulling away from her, Scott looked deep into Shelby's eyes. "We can't." He told her sternly.
"Yes we can." She said quickly, attempting to kiss him again.
Grabbing her shoulders, Scott held her away from him. "I can't Shell. Not with me leaving tomorrow."
Shelby recoiled at that remark. "You don't want me?" She asked him softly. He shook his head and tried to plead with her, but she put her jacket back on and began to stand up. "Did you ever want me?"
Scott tried to make her understand, he tried to make her see his side, but she wouldn't listen. She turned and started to walk back to her bunk. "Come on Shelby, don't do this. Don't make this any harder than it has to be." She stopped, listening to his words. "It's not that bad. I can come to visit."
She turned around and for the first time, he had seen all the pain that she had tried so hard to conceal. "It is that bad, Scott." She wiped the tears away from her face, and tried desperately to make them stop reappearing. "Lets not make this one of these drawn out good-byes. I can't do that again." And with that, Shelby ran up to her dorm room, flopping down onto her bed to cry herself to sleep. The first of a long series of nights~
*Oh I want to say this right
That it has to be tonight
Just need you to know
I don't wanna live this life
I don't wanna say goodbye
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life*
Shelby's mind couldn't help but imagine Scott saying those words to her. Her eyes opened and she pulled herself out from under Alex's arms. She felt safe there, comfertable. It was almost as if he was the one person she was supposed to be with instead of Scott. Almost. She stood and decided to get some air. Walking out of the lodge she stopped and stared at the guy in front of her. He turned and stared directly into her eyes, unable to say anything. It was good for her. Now that she was rational again, she had a few things that she wanted to know.
"Why?"
Her words cut into his heart like a knife. It wasn't how she said it either, it was what was said. She actually wanted to hear the reasoning behind what had happened four weeks ago at the football party. "I had just gotten a letter from Juliet." He bagen, taking a seat on the top step. He noticed that she made no move to join him. "She told me about your accident in the bathroom. Then she told me about everyone blaming me. I decided that it was all my fault. I went out with some friends to reak in my self-pity, and Britney found me. She wanted me. I think it was only for the fact that I was on the team, that and the fact that I was completely toasted." He laughed shortly, he had to start from the first moment that she said something to him. The part that would be the most painful for her to hear.
~ "Scotty, you wanna play?" Brittany asked him jokingly, passing the deck of cards to Brian, the group card shark. Brittany and the gang had been playing poker. Working for simple things like candy first, then they had gotten into the harder stuff, like money and drugs. Scott had stayed at the other end of the room for as long as he could. No matter where he was in the room, Brittany always seemed to find him. He couldn't dodge her forever.
"Not this time, Britt." He tried to shrug her off and grab himself another beer. Somehow though, she seemed to wedge herself between him and the table. She was so persistant, with her ruby red lips, blonde hair, and baby blue eyes. That combination reminded him of another blonde that held his attention. "I'm not into that kind of thing anymore." He pushed the image of Shelby into the front of his mind. He had to remember her. He was going back to her soon enough, he didn't want to mess up a second chance. "I just want to kick back and relax."
Brittany wouldn't give up. She would have him by the end of the night, she swore it. He wouldn't have forgotten her in his time at that school. "Then can I take you home?" Her eyelashes fluttered a few times. "Tristan brought you here, but he disapeared with Chelsey earlier. I promise you I haven't had a thing to drink."
"Then you're one step above us all." A waving hand motioned to the rest of the madness. Music blasted from every speaker in the house, and the smoke was so thick in some places that you would need a few months to air out the entire house. It was the kind of party that Scott would have loved to go to before he had been sent away. Before Shelby. "Sure. I could use a ride." ~
"I'm not too sure how it was I ended up at her house." He finished up. "To tell you the truth, I don't even remember getting into the car. The only thing that I reacall soberly was waking up with a blonde laying on my chest and praying to any God that would listen that it was you." Tears were starting to drop to the hard wood below him, and she sat next to him. Unsure of what she should do next. "What I wouldn't have given for that girl to be you, Shells. I love you so much I can't stand it." He pulled her head onto her shoulder and cried into her clean blonde hair. "I never...NEVER wanted to hurt you like that. I swear it. I swear it."
After he had stopped sobbing, Shelby looked up into his eyes. "I don't know whether or not I should believe you." She said simply. "I want to. I really do Scott, but it's hard. Finding out like I did hurt me more than you will ever imagine. It's not going to be easy, finding our way back to being togeather. Eventually we'll get there, but I can honestly say that I don't think you and I will be there anytime soon." His soft lips touched her forehead and she closed her eyes, willing herself to remember her words. "I don't think it would be a good idea to go to the Morp togeather." He brushed the tears out of her eyes and they just sat there in silance.
*What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew
How did I fall in love with you?*
"I love you Shelby Merrick." Scott whispered into her ear as she drifted back to sleep in his arms. She felt the same about him that she always had, and probably always would. She didn't know why she was making him think that there was no hope for them. There was. There definately was.
Without thinking, Shelby let three words slip from her lips. Giving everything back to him that her words earlier had taken away.
"I love you."
~There are also a few lines that I have taken from one of my other favorite shows, BTVS. I thought that Joss's words would fit better in this type of subtext. I am not changing the words in any way shape or form. They will also be returned when I'm done.~
~The song I'm using in this one isn't mine either, it belongs to the Backstreet Boys, it's called: How Did I Fall In Love With You? From their new album Black and Blue. I know some of you won't like them, but just read the lyrics before condeming the song. Please? The song is marked by (*)
~ Remember that flashbacks are still marked by (~)
There are a few flashbacks that are from previous part of the story, I'm putting them in here because they help define the characters that I'm trying to establish.
* I'm sorry it took me so long to get it up there, I just recently moved in with my dad, and it took me forever and a day to remember what I did with my computer. Then I had to find the disk that my stuff was on. Then there was New Years. Moving during a holiday is a nightmare, not that you guys care, you just want to read the story.
"The eyes are the window to ones soul." ~Unknown.
David had pulled out the CD player a few minutes after Alex and Daisy had gotten Shelby calm. Ezra had taken Scott up to the balcony to watch the events, knowing that Alex had his hands full with Shelby, but if she didn't calm down soon, Scott would be in a world of hurt. Juliet thumbed through her CDs to find the new one that her mother had sent her. Her Backstreet Boys CD. she slid it into the player, and turned it to the last track on the CD. This song had a lot of meaning to her and Auggie, and she hoped that it would help them Scott and Shelby as well. "How?" She leaned onto Auggie's shoulder and kissed his cheek. He was watching the balcony intently, not knowing what Scott was likely to do now that Shelby was hurting like that.
*Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like sister and brother
We understood we'd never be alone*
Shelby closed her eyes and leaned into Daisy. She didn't want to listen to the song, but the lyrics were too strong. The tears fell silantly as Daisy just rockd her back and forth. Knowing all too well how she must have looked to the others, Alex especially. She had never in her life acted as irrationally tward another Cliffhanger as she had that day. Parts of her mind wondered if Peter would ever forgive her for her outburst.
Scott watched the scene below him play out, not knowing what to do. He wanted to go down there and comfort her like he used to, but he knew what Alex would do to him if he did. The betrayal that he had comitted over the past weeks, and the damage that it had caused had completely outweighed the level of joy that everyone had felt that Scott was back. He looked at Ezra for a moment, and Ezra nodded sympathetically. It was as if Ezra knew how he was feeling somehow. It took a minute for Scott to relax, and he closed his eyes to remember all the times that him and Shelby had been togeather, the good times and bad. The memory that stuck out the most in both of their minds was one that was so incredibly painful it hurt to even brush over it lightly.
*Those days are gone, now I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don't wanna be alone tonight*
~ Night had fallen, and Scott had written Shelby a note to meet him out by the gazebo. Everyone had spent the better part of the day, and most of their time after Group preparing for the very first Morp. Kat had come up with the idea just toying with the idea of a Prom. Everyone thought it was just the coolest thing. Or at least those that had dates. There wasn't a person on campus that wasn't preparing for the Morp in some way. With the exception of the two that were alone in the gazebo of course. They had something completely different on their minds.
"Shelby I have to go," Scott said simply. The words cutting his heart in two. He had no way of knowing that he would be having the exact same conversation with her in a few short days. It was hard enough seeing her like this one time. He didn't know if he could do it again. "I can't stay here if I have any chance at all of being recruited to the right school." It was a lousy excuse for leaving the love of your life, but it made sense to him at the time. Football was his life, or it was. Once upon a time.
She didn't know why she kept feeling an ache in her chest where her heart was. She was sitting propped up against him, her feet on the bench curled up beside her body. "I know." She tried to sound as if she actually believed her own words, she knew that he would see right through her phony words. "It's ok," she tried again. "You have a life, who says you shouldn't go live it?" She didn't want him to go, but she wanted him to be happy, and if leaving her made him happy- She didn't want to finish that sentence.
Scott racked his brain for anything that would justify wat he was doing to her. Although he couldn't see her face, he could her her occasional sobs, he wasn't stupid enough to believe that her sniffles were from the cold. He knew what was going through her head. How she was only putting on a brave front so he wouldn't see that she was dying inside. "We can write letters," he tried to say lamely. "And talk on the phone." He knew how he sounded. He hated doing this, he wasn't even sure he knew why he was even doing it. He just thought it needed to be done. "You can come and and stay at my house, we got lots of room." Giving Shelby Merrick hope was one thing that no one was ever going to be good at. She had toughened herself up for reasons like these. But Scott had to try. He just had to give it a shot. "And I can come visit you here." His last sentence sounded more like a plea than a thought. It was as if he was begging her to believe him. "It doesn't have to be that bad. "
She turned her head slightly, and her lips brushed his. The kiss was sweet and tender, everything that Shelby's life had been lacking before she had come to Horizon. But Shelby could see the things that Scott couldn't. She could see how things would be after he left. How much things would change. For the worse. She had done so well since he had become part of her life. Now that he was leaving, things would never be the same for her. "It is that bad," she had to make him see her side. Reality. Taking a deep breath, she calmly looked into his deep eyes. SHe could lose herself forever in those eyes. "But thats the way it is. So lets not make promises we know we won't keep." Her eyes shut for a brief moment, as she tried to regain her composure. "Lets not hope for things we know will never happen." Suddenly her mind told her to just come clean with her life. To lay everything she was out there, and let him see it. It wouldn't stop him from leaving, but at least he would know what he was leaving. "In my whole life no one has ever looked at me the way you do." She self counciously ran a hand through her hair and over her face. "No one has ever touched my face or brush my hair out of my eyes like you do, and maybe this is really selfish, but it's not just you I'm gonna miss." She gazed deeply into his eyes and said the last line carefully, almost as if she wasn't sure she could force herself to say it. "It's the way that I feel when I'm with you that I'm gonna miss even more."
"It doesn't have to be over." He was begging her to believe him now. He sounded childish now, but he didn't care. He loved her more than life itself, and he needed her to be there for him. "It doesn't have to be the end."
She brushed the hair out of her eyes once again and turned away from him, stil maintaining contact with his body. "Yeah it does," her lungs took in a deep breath and let it out evenly. "So... um, just say goodbye. Ok? Please?" The tears fell slowly, but both of them knew they were coming. You don't give up the only person in the entire world that you ever truely love and expect it to be easy. "Just say it?" She leaned her head on his shoulder again, and they just sat in silance. Neither of them trusting their voice to convey their message. ~
*What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?*
Shelby finally fell asleep, and Alex laid down next to her in her sleeping bag. and wrapped her up tight with the spare blankets, before he knew it, he was asleep too. Completely unaware of the meaningful song that was sliding into Shelby's mind, plaguing it with thoughts of her past with Scott. The song wasn't up very loud, but to Shelby's mind it was defining. In her subconcious, he mind had linked with Scott's and suddenly she was remembering things that she wasn't there to witness.
~ "I went there . . . I interrupted her solo." The words hung in the air like a smoke that lingered too long. No one believed that Scott actually said what they had heard. He took a few deep breaths, trying to regain what little composure that he might have had at the time.
Daisy was the first one to react. "You did what?"
Scott rubbed his face again and looked at Daisy. Sophie was rapidly pulling her jacket back on. She had to get out there and find Shelby before the storm had the chance to get worse. "What happened?" She demanded as she relaced her boots to make sure they would be able to stand the water. "Tell me. Everything."
Scott didn't know where to start. "We had a fight."
"My God, how could you possibly be so . . . so . . . " For the first time in her life, Daisy was at a loss for words. It's a good thing Sophie didn't let her finish her thought.
"Daisy. Enough." Trying to refocus the group was the least of her troubles. "Scott did she say something? Anything? Did she . . . she say where she might have gone?" All it took was one slip and Shelby could be gone forever.
"No. "
Sophie couldn't take no for an answer.It was one of those times where if she didn't move fast, one of the children that she had come to love would be lost, and for the first time in her life, Sophie didn't know what to do. "Think Scott. This is important."
"No!" He didn't know who he was more angry at. Himself, or Daisy. "She didn't say anything. She probably didn't want to be there if I came back." Sophie didn't let him finish his sentence before she was out the door. Every one turned and glared at Scott.
"If anything happens to her out there-" Daisy started harsdhly.
Scott refused to listen to her. "Hey, just dump it, freak."
That was all it took for Daisy to come undone. She seemed to jump over the chair that seperated the two and grabbed Scott's shirt with both hands. For someone so small, Scott was suprised at the power she had behind her. His head hit the door from where she shoved him back. Hard. "WHAT were you thinking?" She yelled in his face.
Immediately Juliet and Auggie tried to help her get her off of him. Auggie seemed to be having more of an affect than Juliet. "Daisy, don't!" She shouted as Auggie tried to seperate them. "Stop it!" But the Daisy they knew, the sedate and philosophical girl, was gone. If she could have found a way to hurt him, she would. There was no more doubt in Juliet's mind that Daisy attacked her father with a seven iron. This was the side that of her that would have done it.
"If anything happens to her out there, it's YOUR fault." She shouted at his now shaken features. "You understand? Your fault . . . " She allowed Auggie to pull her away from the face that she could no longer stand to look at. "And I'll make you pay." Those were words that no one ever doubted. To this day they were words that Daisy had held on to. ~
*I hear your voice and I start to tremble
Brings back the child that I resemble
I cannot pretend that we can still be friends
Don't wanna be alone tonight *
Scott thought he had almost lost her that day. something he had sworn to himself that would never happen again. He didn't know how wrong he was. At one point in time he thought it was the single most scary thing that had ever happened to him. The feeling that he had caused something so terrible to happen, he didn't know anything could come close. Then his mind remembered something that had happened recently. It was far worse.
~Scott stood tall in the sunlight. He read the looks on everyones faces before attempting to sit among them. His former friends seemed less than pleased to see him. Juliet was extatic, as usual, but the others wore masks that shielded the emotions from him. He hadn't the slightest idea what any of them had been thinking. "So now I'm gutless?" He feigned shock, taking in the look of anger on Jess' face. "What's with the masks?"
Daisy stood unstedily and hugged him to her. "You mean Peter didn't tell you?" She clutched onto him tighter than she should have. Without Shelby there to add in her sarcastic remarks and quick quips, she didn't know what else to do.
"Didn't tell me what?" Scott let go of her and held her gaze, searching for some sort of sign. His eyes roamed around the gazebo, looking for whatever he could. "Wait, where's Shelby?"
A slight sniffle from the smallest of the group told him all he needed to know. The girl he had been woken up for the night before hadn't been a Ridgerunner, or even a Tracker. It had been the most precious thing in his life. Passing Daisy off to Ezra, Scott practicly dove for Jessica. He held onto her until she had calmed down enough to speak. "Peter found her next to the wood shed last night. Dr. Madison said she was smart. She said that Shelby knew exactly what she was doing. That she only lost as much blood as she-" Jessica broke down again. Scott just held her. Not knowing what else to do. ~
*What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?*
She would never know how hard he asked God to take his life instead of hers. He would gladly die if it meant that she would live a full and healthly life. He stood after making sure they were asleep down stairs and walked out of the lodge to and stopped out on the stairs.Shelby had heard of the event from her sister, and deep down she wished she had been there to see it. To see him that fearful that God might take someone he cared about away. There was no word in the English language to describe the feeling it left inside her. Then her mind recalled something that she wished it would have just skipped over. It pulled her into the memory as tears seeped from her deep blue eyes.
~ Shelby sat next to Scott on the dock, her feet dipping into the water. She couldn't believe what he had just said. "You can't be serious." She told him angrily. "You can't leave me here." Her eyes were searching his for some kind of sign that told her that he was joking. There was nothing reassuring in his eyes. Now she knew he was leaving. This was going to be her last night with him. "I love you, Scott. I don't want you to leave."
"I know, Shell. I know." He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. He could feel her pull away and she looked into his eyes. Then she kissed him.
This was a kiss unlike any of the other kisses that he and Shelby had ever experienced before. It was deep and passionate, laced with all the emotions he knew Shelby was feeling at that moment. When he finally broke the kiss, he saw something in her eyes that hadn't been there before. She took off her jacket and laid back, pulling him on top of her, giving him another long kiss. Scott could tell what she wanted, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't do it knowing he was leaving the next day.
Pulling away from her, Scott looked deep into Shelby's eyes. "We can't." He told her sternly.
"Yes we can." She said quickly, attempting to kiss him again.
Grabbing her shoulders, Scott held her away from him. "I can't Shell. Not with me leaving tomorrow."
Shelby recoiled at that remark. "You don't want me?" She asked him softly. He shook his head and tried to plead with her, but she put her jacket back on and began to stand up. "Did you ever want me?"
Scott tried to make her understand, he tried to make her see his side, but she wouldn't listen. She turned and started to walk back to her bunk. "Come on Shelby, don't do this. Don't make this any harder than it has to be." She stopped, listening to his words. "It's not that bad. I can come to visit."
She turned around and for the first time, he had seen all the pain that she had tried so hard to conceal. "It is that bad, Scott." She wiped the tears away from her face, and tried desperately to make them stop reappearing. "Lets not make this one of these drawn out good-byes. I can't do that again." And with that, Shelby ran up to her dorm room, flopping down onto her bed to cry herself to sleep. The first of a long series of nights~
*Oh I want to say this right
That it has to be tonight
Just need you to know
I don't wanna live this life
I don't wanna say goodbye
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life*
Shelby's mind couldn't help but imagine Scott saying those words to her. Her eyes opened and she pulled herself out from under Alex's arms. She felt safe there, comfertable. It was almost as if he was the one person she was supposed to be with instead of Scott. Almost. She stood and decided to get some air. Walking out of the lodge she stopped and stared at the guy in front of her. He turned and stared directly into her eyes, unable to say anything. It was good for her. Now that she was rational again, she had a few things that she wanted to know.
"Why?"
Her words cut into his heart like a knife. It wasn't how she said it either, it was what was said. She actually wanted to hear the reasoning behind what had happened four weeks ago at the football party. "I had just gotten a letter from Juliet." He bagen, taking a seat on the top step. He noticed that she made no move to join him. "She told me about your accident in the bathroom. Then she told me about everyone blaming me. I decided that it was all my fault. I went out with some friends to reak in my self-pity, and Britney found me. She wanted me. I think it was only for the fact that I was on the team, that and the fact that I was completely toasted." He laughed shortly, he had to start from the first moment that she said something to him. The part that would be the most painful for her to hear.
~ "Scotty, you wanna play?" Brittany asked him jokingly, passing the deck of cards to Brian, the group card shark. Brittany and the gang had been playing poker. Working for simple things like candy first, then they had gotten into the harder stuff, like money and drugs. Scott had stayed at the other end of the room for as long as he could. No matter where he was in the room, Brittany always seemed to find him. He couldn't dodge her forever.
"Not this time, Britt." He tried to shrug her off and grab himself another beer. Somehow though, she seemed to wedge herself between him and the table. She was so persistant, with her ruby red lips, blonde hair, and baby blue eyes. That combination reminded him of another blonde that held his attention. "I'm not into that kind of thing anymore." He pushed the image of Shelby into the front of his mind. He had to remember her. He was going back to her soon enough, he didn't want to mess up a second chance. "I just want to kick back and relax."
Brittany wouldn't give up. She would have him by the end of the night, she swore it. He wouldn't have forgotten her in his time at that school. "Then can I take you home?" Her eyelashes fluttered a few times. "Tristan brought you here, but he disapeared with Chelsey earlier. I promise you I haven't had a thing to drink."
"Then you're one step above us all." A waving hand motioned to the rest of the madness. Music blasted from every speaker in the house, and the smoke was so thick in some places that you would need a few months to air out the entire house. It was the kind of party that Scott would have loved to go to before he had been sent away. Before Shelby. "Sure. I could use a ride." ~
"I'm not too sure how it was I ended up at her house." He finished up. "To tell you the truth, I don't even remember getting into the car. The only thing that I reacall soberly was waking up with a blonde laying on my chest and praying to any God that would listen that it was you." Tears were starting to drop to the hard wood below him, and she sat next to him. Unsure of what she should do next. "What I wouldn't have given for that girl to be you, Shells. I love you so much I can't stand it." He pulled her head onto her shoulder and cried into her clean blonde hair. "I never...NEVER wanted to hurt you like that. I swear it. I swear it."
After he had stopped sobbing, Shelby looked up into his eyes. "I don't know whether or not I should believe you." She said simply. "I want to. I really do Scott, but it's hard. Finding out like I did hurt me more than you will ever imagine. It's not going to be easy, finding our way back to being togeather. Eventually we'll get there, but I can honestly say that I don't think you and I will be there anytime soon." His soft lips touched her forehead and she closed her eyes, willing herself to remember her words. "I don't think it would be a good idea to go to the Morp togeather." He brushed the tears out of her eyes and they just sat there in silance.
*What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew
How did I fall in love with you?*
"I love you Shelby Merrick." Scott whispered into her ear as she drifted back to sleep in his arms. She felt the same about him that she always had, and probably always would. She didn't know why she was making him think that there was no hope for them. There was. There definately was.
Without thinking, Shelby let three words slip from her lips. Giving everything back to him that her words earlier had taken away.
"I love you."
