~Disclaimer:
I own none of them, I'm just playing with them, and I'll be returning them when
I get through. I also stake no claim to any episodes that I use for the
Flashbacks. They belong to the writers and FFC. I do however own Alex Wallace,
his father and his secretary Connie, as well as anyone Scott knew when he was
at home with his father.~
~There are also a few lines that I have taken from one of my other favorite
shows, BTVS. I thought that Joss's words would fit better in this type of
subtext. I am not changing the words in any way shape or form. They will also
be returned when I'm done.~
~I've decided that if you want a song list, you're going to have to e-mail me for it, seeing as though I can never seen to remember to put it up with my stories.
Memories are still in Italics, with * before and
after them
Thanks to Superhoop3 for not killing me like she
should about sending her chapters. Lol
"The
eyes are the window to ones soul." ~Unknown.
"Shell." Scott's voice left him as he turned to
follow Shelby out of the small room. He ran after her as if his life depended
on it, leaving Brittany to fend for herself with Daisy. "Shelby, stop!" By now,
unknown to them, they had the attention of everyone in the lobby. "Shelby,
listen to me." He finally caught up to her right before she entered the
ballroom. He was able to get a good grip on her arm without much trouble. "You
have to let me explain-"
"There's nothing to
explain." Shelby struggled against his hold, but he was just too strong for
her. Their gazes crosses and Scott could see seven months worth of hurt and
pain in her light baby blue eyes. The one thing he didn't see was anger.
Without thinking, Shelby jerked her arm away from him. "Let go of me!" She
snapped harshly as she turned and ran into the ballroom.
That was when Scott
became aware of all of the people that had been watching them. Peter being one
of them. Shaking his head slightly, Peter walked away from his group of
chaperones, past Scott into the ballroom.
Shelby ran past the
Cliffhanger table, headed for the staircase. She didn't want anyone to see her
like this. Wiping her face with one hand, she allowed the tears to flow freely.
Suddenly a hand clutched her arm and she turned sharply, prepared to do
whatever it took to get her arm back and get up to the suite without incident.
"Leave me-"
"No." Alex looked every
bit the dark mysterious hero when he looked up at Shelby through his dark
lashes. "Not when you're like this." He pulled her off of the stairs and into a
hug.
Shelby didn't know what to do. She stood there, tears still running out of her now gray eyes and down her pale cheeks. "I can't do this." She said simply, wiping her eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. "Why did I ever think I could?"
Alex took her hand and
pulled her out onto the dance floor. Pulling Shelby to him, he felt her relax,
and the sobs lessen. The song the DJ decided to play at that time, in Alex's
opinion, had to be the best thing in the world.
I
can see that you've been crying
You can't hide it with a lie
What's the use in you denying
That what you have is wrong
Shelby just
let herself go as Alex led her around the dance floor. She didn't have the energy
to fight him anymore. Scott had taken so much out of her. Slowly, as if waking
up from a dream, Shelby began to move on her own. She wrapped her arms around
Alex's neck and smiled. If she can't be with Scott, she might as well be with
one she knew she could learn to love.
Alex felt her surrender to him and
smiled. Maybe she was ready to see that there were other guys out in the world
other than Scott Barringer. She began pressing her body to his and he couldn't
help but to wrap his arms more tightly around her waist. This was going to be a
good night.
I
heard him promise you forever
but forever's come and gone
Baby, he would say whatever
it takes to keep you blind
To
the truth between the lines
Daisy finally gave up on Brittany
and made her way back to the ballroom. She knew that by now Shelby was either
in a deep conversation with Alex, or she was up in the suite having a deep
conversation with the knife that all the girls knew came with her.
She didn't even look at Scott as
she passed him in the doorway. If she did see his face, as he watched Shelby
and Alex dancing incredibly close, she would have known how much Shelby seeing
the kiss (that never should have happened) was killing him. Scott felt as if
everything in his world was crumbling. And if he didn't find a way to fix
everything he would try to find Shelby's knife when they got back to Horizon
I
will love you more than that
I won't say the words
Then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby don't listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that
Alex sang the next verse into
Shelby's ear. He knew he should back off and let Shelby come to him, but he
just couldn't. He smiled as she turned to look at him. Her eyelids closed and
she leaned into his touch.
Baby
you deserve much better
What's
the use in holding on?
Don't
you see it's now or never?
Cause
I just can't be friends
Baby
knowing that in the end that…
The
feeling deep in Shelby's stomach still hadn't gone away. Every time she closed
her eyes she could still see the look of passion lust mixed with anger on
Scott's face when Brittany pulled him to her. No! Her mind shouted at her angrily. You're getting over Scott
Barringer, and moving on to Alex. He can take care of you now. Shelby
could feel the words weighing on her and she stopped. Was she really that
helpless girl that her and Alex made jokes about earlier that day? Did she
really need a man to take care of her? If she did, then how did she make all
those years on the street before she met Patty and Alex?
I
will love you more than that
I won't say the words
Then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby don't listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that
I love you.
Shelby's
eyes snapped open and she looked around the room. Then her eyes looked at
Alex's face. "Did you say something?" She asked him attentively.
"No,"
He shook his head and grinned. "Would you like me to say something?"
Shelby
shook her head and placed it on his shoulder. I love you. The voice said again, and Shelby
closed her eyes and felt as a tear rolled down her cheek onto Alex's jacket.
There's
not a day that passes by
I
don't wonder why we haven't tried
It's
not too late to change your mind
So
take my hand, don't say goodbye
Taking a few deep breaths, Brittany
watched Scott watching Shelby, a wry smile on her face. Scotty was almost
miserable. He was so close to turning around and coming back to her. Her plan
was working out perfectly.
I
will love you more than that
I won't say the words
Then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby don't listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that
When the song ended, Alex
led Shelby over to the Cliffhanger table. She smiled at the group just as an
arm wrapped around her waist and took her out to the dance floor before she
could protest. When she was turned around her dark eyes met Scott's. "What?"
She barked angrily.
"We're
talking." He said as harshly as he could. He had to get his point across.
"You
didn't think asking me to dance would have been more appropriate?" Her voice
was as cold as her glare as she stared him down.
"You
would have run, Shell. That's what you do when you don't want to deal with
anything."
Her
palm hit his cheek like a gust of harsh wind. "Don't think for a moment that
you know me." She blinked back the hot tears that stung her eyes.
"I do
know you." Scott forced her eyes to once again reconnect with his. "I love
you."
"How
could I forget?" she asked, her voice coldly.
One
doesn't mean anything to me
Come;
show me the meaning of complete
Where
did our love go wrong?
Once
we were so strong
How
can I go on?
Everyone at the table knew
that this was either the moment that was going to make or break Scott and
Shelby's relationship. Juliet stared at the couple and smiled painfully. The
only person out on the floor she cared about was Shelby. After so much pain,
Juliet wished with all her heart that whichever prince Shelby chose, she was
happy.
Shelby
closed her eyes and just listened to the song. She tried to pretend that it
wasn't Scott in her arms. That the beating in her heart was anticipation of
what he was going to say rather than her body responding to how close she was
to him. His words were just so fresh in her mind. I love you. He had
said to her. Over the summer, Shelby wished she would have been able to hear
those words come from his lips. But him saying it now only added to how hard it
was when he disappeared. And it reminded her that sooner or later, he would
leave her again.
When
you told me you loved me
Did
you know it would take me the rest of my life?
To
get over the feeling of knowing' our dream
Didn't
turn out right
When
you let me believe
That
you were incomplete without me by your side
How
could I know?
That
you would go, that you would run
Baby
I thought you were the one
Scott didn't know what to say. For
someone so adamant about them talking a few minutes ago, his mind was
completely blank. So instead of talking, he slid his hands around her waist and
just held her against him. She has to remember that we did have some good times. He said to
himself. "Shell?" He asked softly.
"Yeah?" Her voice was smooth, her
words languid. Shelby wasn't angry with him anymore and they both knew it.
Being like this with Scott made all the problems of the world go away. Maybe
that was the problem.
Why
can't I just leave it all behind?
I
felt passion so bright that I was blind
Then
something made me weak
Talking
in my sleep
Baby
I'm in so deep and you know I believed
"I love you." Scott said again,
more clearly this time.
All Shelby did was smile as the
memories swept over her.
*Shelby stood all alone on the outskirts of the
group watching the miklovsky meteor shower. Even though her body was there with
the hundred or so Horizon students, her mind was in a completely different
place. Her eyes closed lightly, and she could see the person she thought to be
her one true love. But he had left her. Just like all the people that claim to
love her left her. Scott was different though; he never said he loved her.
While the rest of the group "ohhh"-ed and "awww"-ed,
Shelby was silently weeping for the love she thought she was capable of, but
never seemed to hold onto. Tears ran down her pale cheeks like rain, and she
brushed them away without even noticing that they were there.
Then she sensed something behind her. Turning only
slightly, she saw him. Scott walked up to her in his tux and just stood there.
Then he took her in his arms and smiled at her tear stained face.
"Why'd you come back?" She asked him softly, she
wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to that question though.
Scott's mind battled over to tell her the truth or
not. "Because…" He started and looked deep into her eyes. He wanted to make her
believe what he was about to say more than anything. "Because…" He started
again. "I love you."
Her heart rejoiced and she pulled him into another
hug. Twirling her around, Scott lifted her off of the dirt and wouldn't let go
of her. With all his heart he wanted to keep her. And with all her heart she
wanted him to prove her luck wrong. *
When
you told me you loved me
Did
you know it would take me the rest of my life?
To
get over the feeling of knowing' our dream
Didn't
turn out right
When
you let me believe
That
you were incomplete without me by your side
How
could I know?
That
you would go, that you would run
Baby
I thought you were the one
The tears fell from Shelby's eyes
again. She could still feel the softness in Scott's kiss that night. The way he
held her when they were alone in the gazebo, she felt safer there, in his arms
than anywhere else in the world. Even
now, when he was responsible for turning her world upside down, she still
remembered the way he held her in his arms.
"You don't mean that." She stated
so matter-o-factly.
Scott's heart stopped. He couldn't
believe that she could ever doubt the fact that he loved her. "How do you
know?" His gaze challenged her.
"Because I know you all too well,
Cowboy." She looked up with timid eyes. "And I remember the way you used to be
all too well to believe that you would just give away love so easily."
Your
lips, your face, something that time can't erase
My
heart could break all over again
Scott held his breath as he ran a
finger over Shelby's lips. Her breath caught in her throat and she was unable
to speak much less move away from him. "When I told you I loved you, I had
every intention of loving you for the rest of my life." He spoke so softly,
that even Shelby strained to hear him. "You're the one I'm supposed to be
with."
"When you told me you loved me-"
Shelby's voice dropped off as the music picked up again.
Did
you know it would take me the rest of my life?
To
get over the feeling of knowing' our dream
Didn't
turn out right
When
you let me believe
That
you were incomplete without me by your side
How
could I know?
That
you would go, that you would run
Baby
I thought you were the one
Thin fingers brushed away tears
that shouldn't have been shed. Murmurs and "sorry's" filled the space between
them. The world was suddenly set back into place. Then, as if to insure that
this is how it was supposed to be, pale pink lips brushed against Scott's neck,
and that was all it took.
Cannot
touch, cannot hold
Cannot
be together
Cannot
love, cannot kiss
Cannot
have each other
Must
be strong
And
we must let go
Cannot
say what our hearts must know
He cupped her chin and raised her
face toward his. He lifted his gaze to hers, the thick lashes casting shadows
until the blue in her eyes appeared black. It had been those dark orbs that he
had first fallen in love with. Her ever-expressive eyes that always reminded
him that she was a force of nature trapped in the body of a seventeen year old
girl. As he looked back on his months without her he felt the urge to take her
in his arms and never let her go. He couldn't do that, because he knew she
wouldn't allow it. So instead, ever so gently, he brushed his lips against
hers.
How
can I not love you?
What
do I tell my heart?
When
do I not want you here in my heart?
How
does one waltz away from all of the memories?
How
so I not miss you when you are gone
It was a moment of tender
uncertainty. Mouths gentle, soft, a shared breath. A sweet delicate kiss, and
then a more passionate one. More hunger. Mouth against mouth with more pressure,
more urgency. Hot, moist, drinking each other in, exploring, tasting. The room
had dissolved, and the only people in the universe were the them. There was not
a better feeling in the world.
But
then reality came back to them, and Scott and Shelby were forced to part, to
breath. And suddenly Shelby felt a
piercing jolt of fear. She pulled back to look into Scott's blue eyes. "What
are we doing, Scott? What are we trying to do to ourselves?"
He
silenced her with a kiss. She tensed for only a moment before relaxing into his
arms. Was there
a world anywhere beyond here in her arms? Scott asked himself as he
breathed in the scent of Shelby's vanilla shampoo. Unfortunately, his mind
told him solemnly as he caught Alex and Brittany out of the corner of his eye. There is.
Cannot
dream
Cannot
share sweet and tender moments
Cannot
feel how we feel
Must
pretend its over
Must
be brave
And
we must go on
Must
not say what we've known all along
They knew that they should stop
this. Stop the madness that turned their tender love into a semi-tragic soap
opera. Scot should go and talk to Brittany, just as Shelby should pull Alex
aside and speak her thoughts, but both knew it wasn't going to happen. Their
lives were too complicated when they were together. Complication wasn't
something a person needed at Horizon. Being on the outside looking in was
easier than joining the party.
How
can I not love you?
What
do I tell my heart?
When
do I not want you here in my heart?
How
does one waltz away from all of the memories?
How
so I not miss you when you are gone
Pulling away from Scott,
Shelby tried not to look into his eyes. When she did, she didn't want to accept
what she saw there. Love, lust, insatiable need. All of those were mixed into
Scott's incredibly expressive eyes. She bit her bottom lip gently as she forced
herself to let go of him. The words that needed to be said died on her lips
before they could be uttered.
Must
be brave
And
we must be strong
Cannot
say what we've known all along
Watching through sorrowful
eyes, the entire table knew that it wouldn't be over for the pair on the dance
floor. Although both were strong, no one could fight love and survive. But
their reasons were the important thing at the moment. Scott was trading in the
uncertainty of true love for the predictable nature of desire. Brittany might
not be the one he's supposed to be with, but the need to quench the physical
hunger overcame the want of true companionship. He wasn't about to force Shelby
to give herself to him entirely until she was ready.
Looking
into Scott's eyes, Shelby watched as he mouthed the three words that made what
she was doing feel so right. I love you.
How
can I not love you?
What
do I tell my heart?
When
do I not want you here in my heart?
How
does one waltz away from all of the memories?
How
so I not miss you when you are gone
How
can I not love you when you are gone?
