The Sound of Reality

TOO MANY VOICES IT WON'T TAKE LONG

WHICH ONE'S RIGHT AND WHICH ONE'S WRONG

YOURS IS MOSTLY LIKELY TO BE MISUNDERSTOOD.

            Knives stared up at the ceiling thinking about anything that came to mind. It was actually a really boring ceiling, with things crumbling off of it, and paint peeling at the corners. It was bland and colorless, just like he usually was during times like this. A time when Vash was still asleep, and nothing was happening, or needed his attention. The thin fabric of a cotton, white sheet was dribbled across his body; the gunman curled up next to him took most of it. Smiling slightly, he followed that thought to the being next to him.

            After over a century of searching he'd finally managed to be back at Vash's side. Though, it wasn't exactly in the way he'd planned it: it was still something that had kept him going through everything that came after that. The bedsprings squeaked as he turned to his left side, and watched his beloved brother sleep peacefully next to him. His angel, an innocent trapped inside the past of a sinner, and locked into a life of perpetual pain and happiness all wrapped into a convenient vessel known as Vash the Stampede.

            Laughing softly, the other twin traced his brother's left arm. It was as much a symbol of the past as the scars that marred the perfection of Vash's skin and the emotions between them. A past he would never give up. He knew it would seem strange not to accept a new past given the chance, but he honestly didn't want to change anything. He'd taught Vash as much as he had been forced to learn, though neither of them liked it very much. You can't just give up such experiences in life: if he had, they may still have been fighting. After all, in the end Vash was back were he belonged, and that's all that mattered, right?

SCREAMING IN TONGUES ON THE TOP OF MY LUNGS

'TIL I FIND YOU AND YOU FIND ME

SOMEHOW I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WOULD

            A stray beam of early morning light crept through the shades of the hotel room, invading a patch of air above Knives' head. Absently, he sensed the heat, but he was finally focused on a thought, and refused to let it go. He moved closer to his golden haired lover, and pulled the sheets straighter over the both of them.

            Golden hair… The thought reverberated through his mind as Vash shifted unknowingly under the sheets. Numbly, Knives put his free hand on his own hair in a semblance of moving it from in front of his eyes. True, he didn't feel any different than he had a hundred years ago, but… Shifting in bed, he looked sadly at Vash. No matter what it took for them to die, they would still inevitably die someday. Deep down, they both knew it, though it was never mentioned.

            Momentarily, Knives was glad that he hadn't mentioned his thoughts on which of them would die first. It would be him of course, because he had spent so much energy just looking for his brother. That didn't even include the amounts he'd spent to actually capture his angel. Cursing softly, he once again reflected on the ironic bitch fate was showing herself to be. The moment he'd been deemed "healthy" again, he'd realized the expenses of his botched "search and rescue" mission.

            Still, he hadn't told Vash yet, mostly because he knew it would be a very large strain on their relationship, and they definitely did not need another source of argument between them. Oh sure, he was "healthy" enough to be around humans for short periods of time, and be with Vash, but he couldn't have his own opinions any more. Every time he brought up something that lead to an argument Vash would always end it abruptly, refusing to even let Knives go down the paths next to his old roads of thought.

AND I AM CONTEMPLATING MATTERS ALL THIS CLING AND CLATTER

IN MY HEAD, WORDS YOU SAID ARE RINGING, RINGING FASTER

AND IT'S ALL GOOD IF YOU WOULD STOP THE WORLD FROM MAKING SENSE

            "I love you dearest brother, but for all your fair words, I see no fairness in this arrangement."

            Now if only he could say it when Vash was conscious enough to listen and understand. Knives sighed and flopped to the bed on his back. Sometimes his own thoughts would collide with his memories, and Vash's thoughts, and dreams, and memories; thoroughly confusing him and/or hurting his head. It was a welcome pain, though, because it only happened when he was in tune with his other half, and that had never happened after their battle. It was happening now, and despite his earlier thoughts, Knives felt himself smile up at the bland ceiling.

            Only one being could be so imperfect, as to be perfect enough to make even him feel inferior, and that very being was lying right next to him. That very being was the mask of an idiot, and the visage of a hero: with the pain of a hundred generations and the life of one man. And he was lying in a bed, next to his brother.

            "I just can't stay mad at you anymore, Vash."

AND IF I COULD JUST REALIZE IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER

IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER

            Stretching, Knives sat up, and prepared to exit the bed, when he felt a particularly odd emotion tangle itself around Vash, and inadvertently, himself. Glancing down, he heard the bedsprings squeak as his weight was lowered once more. Vash hadn't moved except that his eyes were squeezed shut now: no longer calm, but upset about something. Wondering what it could be worrying his brother's sleep, Knives slipped into his angel's head. Or at least he tried to, but a barrier, a something was keeping him back. Annoyed and confused, he tried again only to get booted back again.

            Resorting to the human method, Knives leaned over, and shook Vash gently on his left arm. "Vash… Vash wake up."

            Slowly the stress drained halfway into the room, and Vash was able to open his eyes. He looked up quizzical. "Whashhizzzit?"

            "Something's bothering you, so I woke you up." Knives explained matter-of-factly. "What is it?" He added, showing his curiosity.

            Vash yawned and rubbed at his eyes while pushing himself up with his right hand. "Was'wha'?" He questioned sleepily.

            Knives just narrowed his eyes, "Stop it, you know what I'm talking about. What was bothering you?"

IF I COULD TOUCH THE SOUND OF SILENCE NOW

YOU KNOW I WOULD IF I KNEW HOW

            Vash abruptly dropped his mask and flopped back down on the bed. After a long moment he spoke softly, and almost into the pillow so that Knives had to listen carefully. "I just… I just keep thinking about everyone." He voice cracked, "No matter what they all left and I know we're going to at some point… And, and I don't want them to remember me as some blood-thirsty killer, Knives!"

            "You care too much about their thoughts and feelings, brother." Knives responded automatically, then sighed and rubbed his temples.

            "That's easy for you to say, you don't care for any of them at all. You hardly care about me!" Vash yelled, sitting up in a flash of rarely seen anger.

            "How can you- how can you say that?" Knives very nearly bellowed in return, breaking the stillness of the room. "After everything that's happened, after…" He started loosing his steam, and found himself struggling to keep back emotions that were welling inside him, and choking his words. "After… everything." He finished, gesturing between them.

            For once, Vash didn't have a response, and instead stared at his brother while reclaiming his breath. Slowly, he began to think through everything not that Knives had put him through, but what he'd subjected his brother to. Turning his world upside down, and saying that he'd only be with him if Knives would follow his ideals. True, Knives tried to do the same to him, but he had been trying so hard not to make the same mistakes his brother had made.

            "I'm… I'm just afraid..." He finally lamented. "I don't want to loose you again."

            Knives drew in a slow breath, and watched his angel for a moment before deciding to tell him. Drawing closer, he put his hand on Vash's left arm… the one he'd taken and was replaced with a fake embodiment of the really thing. "But you will eventually, and you have to deal with it."

            Looking from the hand on his shoulder, and then to the blue eyes of his twin, Vash considered the underlying implications of what was being said. "How do you know that? Maybe you'll be the one to loose me."

            Both of them were now all too aware of where this conversation was going. Slowly, Knives shook his head. "Vash you know that I used much more energy to find you than you used to fight me." His hand floated to the back of his brother's head, and played a bit with the darker strands there. "Your hair is still has a lot of blonde in it-"

            "So does yours!" Vash blurted in desperate defense.

            "No, it's almost entirely black." Knives answered, rather morosely. The angel looked pointedly at the very blonde hair atop his twin's head. Knives just shook his head; "I've been bleaching it for at least 50 years now."

            "What? Why?" The gunman questioned, looking questioningly at his brother, and moving a now shaking hand to move a crop of hair out from in front of blue eyes.

            "I didn't want to worry you."

TO MAKE THESE INTENTIONS COME AROUND

I'M HEARING EVERY WORD YOU'RE NOT SAYING

SPEAKING WITHOUT A SOUND

            "What?" Vash nearly squeaked.

            Knives sighed again, and leaned forward a bit, "Is it so hard to think that I wanted to keep some pain away from your heart?"

            Tears were beginning to build up at the edges of the angel's beautiful, teal eyes. Squeezing his eyes shut, Vash spoke in a voice trembling with harsh truth. "Yes, Knives, it is very hard to think you'd do something like that. After all those people that died because you sent them after me, after all the pain you put me through… Yes, it's too hard, much too hard to think you'd do something to avoid hurting me."

            Dry air hung between them, as a canyon seemed to form and separate the twins before their very eyes. No, not again… The thought was dim and alone, Knives noticed with something akin to terror. There was no soft reverberation between their minds, no other thoughts to accompany it. No, I'm not losing you again, Vash! He couldn't think except for the determination not to be taken away from his brother again. Desperate and unable to think of anything else, Knives leaned forward; embracing his angel tightly, while lightly kissing away the tears before they could mar perfect cheeks. Effectively leaping the canyon that had formed before it could get any larger.

AND I AM CONTEMPLATING MATTERS ALL THIS CLING AND CLATTER

IN MY HEAD, WORDS YOU SAID ARE RINGING, RINGING FASTER

AND IT'S ALL GOOD IF YOU WOULD STOP THE WORLD FROM MAKING SENSE

            Before Vash even realized what he was doing, his body had leaned into that touch in complete surrender. On the outside of his mind, an overwhelming shock covered him: shock that his brother had done that. The touch, the thoughts, feelings, and the action itself were filled with such strong emotions he could feel himself drowning in them. While inside he was rejoicing madly, utterly joyful in the thought that Knives had learned compassion, that Knives had compassion. But most of all, he felt the gratifying feeling of knowing that the little spark of hope he'd held out for his brother had just turned into a roaring fire. That he had been not only been right in holding out on his faith, but also to love as he had. Slipping his arms around Knives, Vash pressed his head against his twin's chest in a tight hug.

            They stayed like that for a moment of eternity before either one of them moved. Then, slowly, as if he were holding a delicate, porcelain doll, Knives trailed his hands down Vash's spine. The touch was so light, yet so intimate that his brother shuddered visibly under its intensity. Shifting slightly, and readjusting the light touch, to a gentle hold, he leaned back, bringing them both down to the bed. In his heart, Knives knew that this morning would be a turning point, something would change, something… But for now, he didn't want to think about it, and he didn't want his brother to dwell on it either.

AND IF I COULD JUST REALIZE IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER

IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER

            Vash adjusted automatically with the change in positions: slipping his leg over his brother's, straddling his slim hips. Though he had already repositioned his hands to the sides of Knives' stomach, and taken the more dominate position, he was still a little shocked that his twin had given it over so easily. Usually, Knives was dominant, in fact it was normally the only time Knives was dominant anymore. Looking down at his lover, he didn't see any of the begrudging charity he expected to be plastered on that face. Rather, a calm happiness that contrasted with a serious, but loving gaze focused completely on him.

            "Knives?" Vash questioned quietly, nothing if not pleased by his brother's sudden change of heart. Or perhaps, it wasn't as sudden as he thought.

            "It's alright…" He replied just as softly, and hooked his arms around Vash's neck. "I don't mind." He added with a real smile gracing his lips as he pulled his angel down to him.

            Their lips met tenderly, a silk on silk touch without friction or need. Knives felt no fire build inside him, nor the semblance of one in his brother; just a sweet, calming ecstasy of joy shared by both. Without a command, or hint of motion, Knives opened his mouth to his brother's waiting tongue. As if descending a slanting hallway, the kiss slowly became deeper. When they finally broke away the only space left between them was the air their breath mingled in. Passion slid seductively through their senses as their minds gravitated back together, and thoughts spilled over their consciousness.

            Both welcomed the feeling back again without a word or extra thought between them: it simply just was. Sweat began layering their skin, though neither could feel the heat that had caused it. A pure detachment surrounded them and their environment completely. As hands crept down one's body the touch was magnified and expanded into emotion that swam through their mind. The more touch, the higher their emotions flew, and the greater the pleasure. This was their sanctuary, completely self inflicted, and completely impenetrable by the outside world. Here, the only thing that existed was them together, but here they were also one. The beautiful symmetry of one mind melded from two bound them together until they felt it necessary to leave.

TRAPPED INSIDE OF THESE FOUR WALLS

WALKING BRAINLESS MUPPET DOLLS

MUSHROOM FACE BENEATH THE TANGELS

            Vash's hands slithered lower on the reality of his brother's body. Slowly, he dipped his head, and started a line of exquisite kisses down from Knives' neck to his chest. Pausing deliberately, the angel let his hands travel the length of his twin's arms in methodic circles of massage. Continuing his slow pace, Vash lingered a minute or two, before letting his tongue whisper across the pale skin beneath him. He savored the moment a new height of pleasure was reached as his tongue circled a nipple. Taste and sound were swallowed by the emotions and floated amid their mind as one feeling.

The angel was as aware of his own teeth nibbling on his brother's other nipple, as he was of his hair falling to his neck at the hands of his lover. He could feel the sensations he caused as well as the ones that were done to him. Time grew hazy and was soon encompassed by the wash of consciousness that had overtaken them. The distinctions of what was real, and what was not, what was a thought, and what was touch became fainter and fainter. Soon, they were the only separate parts of their sanctuary. Something held together by the strongest of bonds yet still two entities that somehow were and were one at the same time.

Contact, skin on skin, and tongue and teeth were what kept the reality there. Flesh was smoothed, and kissed, licked and bitten as Vash traveled lower. Knives' breathe strayed to erratic before becoming a soothing, consistent flow of air. There was no need for excess in their place that was everything at once, consistence gave birth to their time, their reality, and their ecstasy. Gradually, as their bodies awoke to more and more touches, growing more and more alive with each new feeling, the haze thickened. It thickened until both were so sharply in focus tears of perfection trailed their cheeks from simply being in each other's presence.

BLEEDING SILHOUETTE INSIDE

DANCING LIKE AN ANGEL WOULD

            Shadows of kisses layered Knives' body, as Vash methodically covered every inch of flesh he could find. He knew exactly where to touch his brother, and when, and how. The angel found his way back up to his twin's thighs, and drew circles along their most sensitive spots. A moan resounded throughout their haze, encouraging, pushing them on. Presently, Vash exchanged his hands for his mouth, and began nibbling along the inside of his brother's left thigh. Higher up he came, until he was able to place one fluttering kiss on the soft skin between Knives' thigh and crotch.

            "Vash…" It was whispered so quietly, yet the emotions that surrounded it sought to fill them entirely with a heavenly glow.

            It seemed almost wrong to feel so good about hearing that, yet Vash couldn't help being happy that so many intense, wonderful emotions were focused directly on him. It was as if he was the only thing in the world, and he was the only thing needed. Moving his head to the left only a few inches, he kissed the tip of Knives' now very erect penis, and smiled as his brother shivered in response. The feeling washed over both of them and brought both of them to another, almost painful height of pleasure.

            Vash suddenly took all of Knives' manhood into his mouth, breaking the slow pace he set like a scream breaks the silence. Shock, and waves of bliss covered his brother completely while hands searched out his shoulders, pulling the angel into arched hips. Another, barely heard moan filled their mind with a pleasant fog as one angelic hand stroked the inside of it's twin's thigh while the other hand gently cupped and massaged Knives' sacs. The breathing slowly returned to a steady pattern, but became strained. One was reaching a peak of ecstasy while the other teased with ghostly touches not quite satisfying.

            Then, through a silent communication of need Vash stopped playing, and began smooth sucking motions with the back of his throat. All the images, sounds, touches, tastes and minds melded together in on moment of sheer rapture as Knives came in his brother's soft mouth. A smile of contentment faded into being on his face as Vash withdrew, licking him dry as he went.

AND IT'S ALL GOOD IF YOU WOULD STOP THE WORLD FROM MAKING SENSE

AND IF I COULD JUST REALIZE IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER

IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER

            One half bathed in the afterglow of passion, and the other still in the middle of it, their mind blurred the barriers of the senses, and themselves even more. Still silent, the angel crept higher on his brother's body, dropping his hips and sliding a pair of strong arms under Knives' shoulders. There was no need for preparation, pain didn't matter in their sanctuary; it was just another feeling that escalated the experience. Dipping his head down to meet the still hungry lips waiting for his own, Vash began a slow gyrating motion with his hips. The change was very evident. Knives gasped into the kiss, and arched his hips into his angel's motions.

            Their mind whispered and screamed with the intensity of two polar opposites fusing together, and a thrum of life sped throughout their bodies. Two slim legs locking around his waist, and a wandering tongue in his mouth urged Vash into a faster, more demanding pace. Emotions and feelings drowned their consciousness further into the haze of unity and peace they had only recently discovered.

AND IT'S ALL GOOD IF YOU WOULD STOP THE WORLD FROM MAKING SENSE

AND IF I COULD JUST REALIZE IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER

                Like everything else, the angel's thrusts were drawn out as they plunged even deeper within his brother. Hands that had never really stopped in the first place continued blazing trails of sensitized nerves across all the flesh they could reach. It all began to meld once more into a buzz that engulfed their sanctuary, until Vash finally gave one hard thrust and came in a fit of blurred glory. And still, the only sound he made was his soft, recovering breath.

            Brilliant in their combined afterglow, their bodies fell together and sank beneath the sheets, trying to achieve what their mind still held tightly together.

IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER, ALL THIS CLING AND CLATTER

            Love

            Sweet Peace

            I'll miss this

            I'll miss you

            Brother, lover, my other half

            I'll never leave you

-Kira Douji