"Hello, you must be Jessica. I'm Sarah, otherwise you can call me Mac, this is Harm, and this is our son Austin and daughter Sydney."
"Jessi."
"Excuse me?" she said as the grin stayed exactly where it was.
"Name is Jessi, not Jessica. Too girly." For some reason she smiled even wider when I said that I'm not girly. Go figure.
Miss Grant looked nervous. "Why don't we grab your bag and take it inside?" she asked.
"Whatever," I mutter.
The man smiles, as the little girl looks very unsure. This could be very easy on my part to freak one of them out. But the problem is, the boy doesn't seem to care. He could be a challenge. "Jessi, it's nice to meet you," says Harm.
"Nice? Sure, if you say so."
He raises his eyebrows but doesn't lose that smile he's wearing either. Now Sydney looks happy too. Great. All happy people. Just what I need.
Miss Grant and Mac led me to a room that has plain white walls but a nice blue bed as well as a nice dresser and mirror. That was fifteen minutes ago before Miss Grant left. She was leaning out the door and giving me the be good look, but I ignored her and said goodbye. I just can't believe she's going to leave me here all alone. I set my bag down after she left as the mother came back into the room.
"Well, what do you think? We can paint it any color you like after you're settled in here. And just to let you know, the bathroom is across the hall, Sydney's bedroom is next to yours, Austin's bedroom is down the hall, and Harm and I are upstairs. But you know, why don't I just show you where everything is at and tell you what rules are and where you're going to school?"
"Fine," I say grumpily. I don't want her to like me and I didn't want to be here.
"Well do you need any help?"
"No I'm okay. All I have is one bag anyway."
"We can go school shopping in a few days because you'll need more clothing than that. I'll be downstairs when you're finished and I'll have Sydney and Austin show you the yard. We have a dog too, if you didn't see her. Her name is Shelby and from what Miss Grant said, you adore dogs."
I shrug and look around the room again. I have only one thing left to put up and that I have to do in private. It's a picture of my mother and father that Miss Grant gave me a long time ago when I asked her about my parents. It's my most treasured possession and I always have to be alone to put it up. She finally seems to understand that I need to be alone. She excuses herself and goes through my door. The lady is really pretty and I think she seems pretty cool. The guy and kids too maybe. But they're not my parents or my family, and they never will be. So there isn't any point in liking them because they won't keep me. I'm alone, and that's just the way it'll always be.
I finish adjusting the picture on my bedside table. The room really is going to be pretty when I paint it blue. I reluctantly start down the steps now that I've changed into my favorite pair of light blue jeans with the one hole in the knee. They're shredded at the ankles too which just adds to the charm. I also put on my favorite top, a blue long sleeve shirt with faded words that I can't read so nobody else should be able to either. These clothes are the only pair I got to pick out myself, so they are also something I treasure.
They're all hanging around the house. I can see the parents in the living room sitting together watching TV but managing to look incredibly in love. I wish my parents had been that much in love when they had me. Then maybe I wouldn't be here. Sydney is standing in the kitchen eating something that looks like some kind of string or something. From far away she looks like Mac. And Austin is sitting at the computer playing a game that looks like space age or something. Nobody is looking at me yet while I'm on the stairs. But finally, I take the last steps downwards and the parents look up at me. Harm smiles nicely and starts to get up. Instead of going in there, I hurry into the room where Sydney is at and ask her what she's doing. "What in the…?"
She laughs. "I'm eating tofu and vegetables," she says in a clear voice. I can't believe she's only eight. She seems way too grown up and tall to be eight. "Are you a meat person like mom or a health person like dad?"
"I…I have no idea," I admit. "Are your parents total opposites or something?"
"Totally. Mom likes junk food and dad likes healthy things. Mom is a marine and dad is in the Navy. They are, however, both lawyers at JAG with Uncle Bud, Aunt Harriet, and Uncle A.J."
"Are you serious? Jeez, where do you go to school? Boot camp?"
She finds humor in my sarcasm and giggles. "Nah, we go to Jefferson elementary. It's Austin's last year there, but since you're here, now I'll have someone after he's gone."
I feel like panicking. I don't want to be here that long, especially not being a big sister. This could be a problem. "Maybe," I shrug and then sit in the chair.
"Want to see our dog? She's a golden retriever and her name is Shelby. She's a cool dog, but she sleeps in mom and dad's room because she loves mom the most. Mom has a chemistry with animals."
I raise my eyebrows. Weird. But I want to see the dog, so I allow Sydney to lead me to the backyard. It's only the beginning of fall, but it's starting to get crisp outside. Shelby jumps up on me and wags her tail. I smile happily for the first time since being here.
By nightfall, we've been through household tours, dinner, and rules of the house. It's bedtime, and I hear the parents down the hall with Austin and Sydney, tucking them in like real parents do. I shut my door and lay down, knowing they aren't going to come in here, but as the door opens, both peek in. Wow, talk about surprise. "Do you need anything?"
"Nah."
"Well, goodnight sweetie," says Mac as she closes the door.
"I am not your sweetie," I growl in whisper after she's gone. But I think she might have heard me because after that I heard footsteps. Good, she won't get that close to me before I leave. I lay back and close my eyes, hoping I won't have the same nightmare I've had since I was little. I always wanted my mother to love me like Mac loves her kids. But I also knew she didn't. I lived with her for a while when I was six. During the entire three months, she and her boyfriend either ignored me or beat me. I never told anyone, not even Miss Grant that her boyfriend tried to take off my clothes or that my mother gave me a broken arm. And as much as I hate her for that, I still want be with her and no one else's parents. If it could just be my parents and I, I think we'd be the perfect family. But as I go to sleep, after my prayers, I just wonder why I have to be here instead of there.
TBC…
