I stayed in my room for I don't know how long just thinking and listening to the voices downstairs, both worried and angry. I couldn't help but compare my life at that present moment to the soap operas we used to watch on TV at the Jenson's house. I mean, who else did I know that had been raised in foster homes with a younger brother who, by coincidence, lived with a friend of your own foster soon to be adoptive parents? And whose mother had to come back every once in a while to ruin everything but never to love you?
I must have fallen asleep crying because when I felt a hand on my back, I jumped up and noticed my face was all wet with tears. I turned around to see Sydney standing beside my bed and Austin in the doorway. "They're still talking about you. They want to take you back to your mom's house with David. Uncle Bud and Aunt Harriet are here too now. But they left Janna and A.J. and David with a babysitter."
I nodded. Syd sat down next to me while Austin loitered in the doorway. "Come in, and shut the door so we can't hear them that loud."
Syd's lip trembled as she sat down right next to me and gave me a hug. A tear rolled down one of her red little cheeks as she said, "I don't want you to leave. You're my big sister," she cried.
I didn't really know what to say to her. So I just hugged her back and waited until she had finished crying. Meanwhile, Austin sat on the other side of her and both he and I tried to comfort Syd. He gave me a look that I read as a look that only a brother and sister would give each other, something to say that he too didn't want me to leave. "I'm sorry about your mom," he said in a quiet voice.
"Me too. I don't want to live with her," I said rather tonelessly.
"Mom and dad want you to stay too. They want to adopt you like Aunt Harriet wants to adopt David," Syd said once she had settled her sobs to lighter tears.
The door opened then and Miss Grant peeked in. "Jessi, honey, you're going to have to come with me, okay?"
"I don't want to go anywhere," I said as I clenched my teeth and prepared myself for a battle."
She held out her hand. "Come on, don't make this as hard as you made all the other ones. Just come with your ma…Miranda and me and we'll get this all settled in court when we can get a court date."
I shrank back from her and realized my stubbornness would make it seem even more like a soap opera, but I didn't care anymore. "No, I won't go with Miranda anymore. Not anymore."
"Jessi, don't make this hard on me."
I shrugged and held on tightly to the bed. Finally she sighed and came over to me. She reached out for me as I screamed in the highest pitch I had, which my friends used to tell me would practically make the glass break. She took my hands and started to pull me to the door. "Do I need to get some police out here?"
I kept right on screaming but I let her take me down the stairs. When we faced Mac and Harm however, I stopped screaming and just held on tightly to them. They both looked stricken, as did Syd and Austin at the top of the stairs. My mother tried to coax me out to the car with the promise of new toys or clothes, but I refused. Miss Grant again grabbed me around the waist and carried me to the door. And though I knew that most foster kids never call their parent's mom or dad, it just came out of my mouth. "Mom!" I cried as I tried to grab Mac's hand. "Daddy!" I screamed again as I did the same.
Mac tried to reach out for me as well, but Harm stopped her and made sure they both let Miss Grant take me, kicking and screaming, to the car. When she managed to keep me in the car, I stopped screaming and ignored them all though they tried to make conversation. Yeah, right, cause that's normal, so why not play it out to be?
They brought me to my mother's current living area, but I refused to get out of the car. After a half an hour of trying, Miss Grant was really ready to give up. So I ended up back at the group home with her for the night or until the judge could arrange things for a court date. I was very pleased with myself, in that I managed to stay away from my mom and new stepfather.
The next morning, I actually was allowed to sleep in late, but habit forced me up at nine o'clock, which was even late for me. I heard Miss Grant on the phone all morning with secretaries and sort so she could try to find out where I could be. So far David hadn't been taken from Harriet, the only thing I was actually glad for that particular morning. When Miss Grant finally spotted me in my pajamas, she suggested I go get dressed. She didn't look too mad at me when she said this, so I assumed she would be in an okay mood. She wasn't.
"Jessi, why couldn't you make things easy for yourself and the Rabb's? I am appalled at how you acted with yesterday's events. How can you expect David to look up to you when you act like that?"
I was actually ashamed when she said the last part, because I really wanted David to see me as a big sister to him, more than Janna even. I wasn't jealous of Janna; I just wanted David to know that I was his real sister. I hung my head somewhat while I listened to her lecture on and on about my attitude and how my mother really deserved a chance with us. I think I might have tuned her out when she got to the parts about my mother. It probably lasted a good hour or so before she would let me go get lunch with the rest of the kids.
After lunch, she was much happier though. "I got a court date set for a few weeks from now. The only question was where would you be staying. Since I would not like to witness what we went through yesterday and because technically you are the foster child of the Rabb's, you'll be allowed back there for the time until the ruling. And after the judge rules where you and David will go, I will not tolerate any bad behavior on your part. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am. And thank you," I said happily. "Will David be allowed to stay with Harriet and Bud until then?"
"For the same reason you'll be allowed at the Rabb's, he'll be staying there."
I did my little victory dance when I thought she wasn't watching, but she must have caught me from the corner of her eye because she smiled at me and then winked. I laughed a little too and then swung my red hair around my shoulders.
She took me back to their house that afternoon, which was actually almost dinnertime really. I was nervous because I had called them mom and dad, but they didn't mention it and neither did I. Syd hung on me like I'd been gone for a million years, and even Austin seemed glad to see me, if only to play football with. No one mentioned my screaming either, though I was sure it was to come at bedtime. I felt so grown up to be doing all these things when I was only ten and a mousy little girl with red hair and outstanding freckles.
That night, Syd told me the first story of how Harm and Mac met before she went to bed. Since they decided that I had to go to school the next day because they wanted things to be as normal as possible, Syd and I had to go to sleep early. Austin stopped by my room too to give me one of his favorite footballs as a present. When Harm and Mac finally came to say goodnight, however, I knew we were in for a talk once I saw the looks on their faces.
"Jessi, we have to talk about some things before you go to sleep," said Harm in gentle voice.
"I know what we have to talk about. My screaming tantrum thing, David, mom, and who I'll live with after the judge decides. Does that cover everything?"
"Almost, but not quite. We'll start with that though. We don't need to talk about your tantrum because right now, I can understand how that feels. About David though, we already knew he was your brother when we took you in as our foster child. We had planned on having Miss Grant explain a few things for you, but your biological mother coming into the picture was not expected."
"So you only took me in because of David?" I asked, not noticing that she had purposely said biological mother, not mother.
"No. No," said Harm. "We wanted another child and we happened to find out about you through Miss Grant. We were told that you were difficult, but we also knew that since that runs in our family, you'd be the perfect little girl for us."
I would have cried if I hadn't been thinking so hard about everything else that was going on. "And now that Miranda is back, what'll happen in court?" I asked worriedly.
"Miranda wants custody of you and David now, but we're not sure the judge will give it to her. We're also petitioning to get custody and then we'd like to know if you would be okay with us adopting you into our family."
"You actually want me in your family after all the trouble I've caused?" I asked surprised and amused at the same time.
Harm and Mac both smiled at this. "Yes."
"But what'll happen to David?"
"Well, the judge will decide how to work out living arrangements. It's possible he'll be staying with Harriet and Bud. Otherwise, the judge may find a home for both of you together. I don't know for sure."
"I don't want us to leave our homes. I'd rather the judge leaves us where we are and then we'll visit each other and stuff."
"I don't know what'll happen. But we're glad to have you here, we want you to know that."
I smiled at this. "And you weren't mad that I accidentally called you mom and dad?" I asked, just because I had to bring it up.
"No. Whatever you want to call us is fine with us. Okay?"
"Kay. Thank you. Good night."
"Night."
I had been smiling more and more since I'd arrived at their house months ago and it was really starting to pay off. Looking in the mirror, I no longer saw a mousy person but a prettier one. And so I smiled again before I went to bed because my heart didn't hurt anymore. Because for probably only the second time in my life, I was truly happy.
TBC…
*I'll probably add another chapter or two to finish it off and I'll try to be quick about it. Thanks for the reviews!*
