*Holds up a shield to protect herself from the Disclaimers* YOU AINT TAKE'N ME ALIIIIIIIVE!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! *Gets hit * owie…

Alrighty, I don't own…. ummm…JTHM and other related characters, Jhonen Vasquez *sigh * (slaps self), and all the other stuff that you KNOW I don't own (braveheart for one). ON WITH THE FINAL CHAPTER!!! WHEEEEE!!!!

We find…myself…wandering around the vast and noisy and over crowded Comic Con with my trusty JTHM DC in one hand and Patches sticking outta my lil' black backpack.ß(Isn't that a song?)

(Patches is this lil' puppy doll with one eye that I made. He has stitches and random patches all over him. Think of Shmee in Puppy form.)

Me: Sweet angry jeezes…where in the seven hells is Jhonen?!?!? GAAARRRGGG!!! *Sees big sign that says "JHONEN IS RIGHT HERE YAH BOOB!!!"*...Oh….

Yeah, Im blind…I need glasses.

ANYWHO!! So, I fought my way through the gigantic crowd of people, (that REALLY scared me) till I finally saw the holy-ness and wonderment that is JHONEN VASQUEZ!! (Thunder cracks and heaven music is heard). Mmmmyep that's what happened too.

Me: *runs up to the counter till I am suddenly thrown backwards by a fat girls butt* AAAAAAIIEEEEEEE!!!! ß(That's me flyin backwards)

Fat Lady: WAIT YUR TURN!!! *Snort*

Me: HUH?!?! WHATTA YAH MEAN WAI...*sees a line that must be several miles long leading to Jhonen. * OH SHITTAKIE!! *Glares. *

It took me at least one hour to devise an evil plan…yeah; well it wasn't a very good day fer me OK?!?!? Lets watch now…

Me: *scans surroundings and finds Lucy Lawless * LOOK EVERYONE!! ITS XENA!!!

Geekyfanboys (ew): XENA?!?!!!! *Start chasing her down *

Lucy: WHY ME GOD?!?!? WWWHHHHHYYYYY?!!?!?!?!! GAAAAAAAAA!! *Runs like the devil on speed*

Me: teehee. (Horns pop outta head) oww.

But still the line was too long…but before I could think of another evil plan, Shea comes skipping up to me caring a light saber and a baby bouncer on her back.

Me: hey Shea, wow I didn't know! How old is it?

Shea: *ignores comment * Looky what I found!!! Teehee (turns around and shows me Ewan strapped in baby bouncer with DUCK TAPE on his mouth)

Me: …………0_0…

And soon, Gwen comes strolling up with her ghost buster thingy filled with screaming Bishies…oh what fun this is!!!! YEEEE!!!

Gwen: Hot Damn…look at this line!! JHONENS HAND MUST BE FALLIN OFF!!!

*Voice from miles away *: DAMN!! I HAFTA SEW ME HAND ON AGAIN WITH DENTAL FLOSS!!!!

Me: I wish something would speed this up!!

   AND SUDDENLY!! From deep in the darkest pits of the Comic Con…a sound that can only be described as a mob of stampeding Moose was heard thundering down the halls and rooms. Screams where heard in several directions, each getting louder…

   Suddenly and vaguely cute muttering and a loud rattle joined the moose stampede! (YOU THOUGHT IT WAS THE MOOSE DIDN'T YAH?!?!? DIDN'T YAH?!?!? I LAUGH AT YOU!!!) Getting nearer toward us…and nearer…. and nearer still…

Gwen: Wha…Wha…what is THAT?!?!?!?

Shea: SHHHH!! *Puts head to floor *………

Me: Is it?

Shea: Oh yeah…. (Camera gets a close up of Shea's eyes) Magic….

   The doors suddenly burst forth as a legion of Monkey Squirrels come swarming in, swinging their wands about and attacking helpless yet not so innocent people (eeeh...JTHM moment in my brain), gnawing and eating their victims! Causing people to run about screaming and causing riots…yeah you know what Im talking about.

Shea: OH MY GOD!! WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!!!

Me: SHEA! YOU FEND OFF THE ONES TO THE LEFT! GWEN, GO GET THE ONES NEARER TO THE DOORS!! I'LL GO MAKE SURE THEY HAVENT GOTTEN JHONEN!! (Hey, we must save him or all IS lost!)

Gwen: (is trying to vomit up the bazooka she swallowed earlier *Chapter 1*) IT AINT COMIN UP!!!!

Shea: CAMMON GWEN!! UP CHUCK DAT THING!!!

Me: Oh holy god….

(Ummm…im not gonna write the rest of this…I just wanted to explain what happened to the guns they had to swallow earlier…. ummm…. I think you can picture the rest.)

 Shea: mmmmmmkay *takes light saber and starts hacking them squirrel sushi *

Me: POWER UP SPOOKY MOUSE ARMOR!!! (I transform into my Spooky Mouse armor. Its black and silver with heat-seeking eyes and a big blaster on the left arm)

 (I am not tryin to steal the Happy noodle armor! I came up with this a long time ago!!!!! I SWEAR!!!)

    Over near the counter, Jhonen was fending off the Monkey Squirrels with his mighty Weasel style kung-foo of doom!! Ummm…. yep….

  Jhonen: HUUUUUUAH!! *High kicks a monkey squirrel, thus causing a domino affect with the other MS's *

MS: EEEEEEEEEEEEKKOOOOO!! *Bounce back up *

Jhonen: arrggg! Bloody weasel monkey!! They just keep bouncing back up!!! POWER UP HAPPY NOODLE ARMOR!! (Yay! ^_^)

  And so, the battle raged on! Sooner or later I think Ewan broke free and helped us with his Jedi fightin skills and such…it was fun.

  But soon, the almighty evil appeared…and it wasn't barney…no not Barbie…jeezus just read on!!!! *Glares at you*

(A small figure hops forward from the shadows. It's slightly taller than the other monkey squirrels, also with the addition of a top hat)

Gwen: IT'S THE ALMIGHTY LEADER OF THE MONKEY SQUIRRELS!!!

Shea: (looks at the MS with a glare) I knew I smelled you magic…

MTMS: (in a cute, fluffy voice) hehehehe…you didn't think we'd return did you Shea? Well, comes to show you that you must ALWAYS expect the unexpected!

Suddenly, a circus monkey rolls by on a tricycle, squeezing a flounder, and speaking French.

Me: even that?

MTMS: ummm…maybe not…BUT STILL!! Now, thanks to the numerous amounts of Bishies here, my minions and me will devour the eyes of every single FanGirls and fanboy IN THE WORLD!! RRRAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

(Excited screeching noises come from the mob of monkey squirrels as they hop up and down in glee)

Jhonen: WHY?!?!? WHY THE EYES?!?!? HUH? HUH?!?!?!

MTMS: ever heard of "eye candy?"

Me:………………this fanfic is getting too literal…

Jhonen: (who's face is now painted blue and white) YOU CAN TAKE OUR EYES, LIVERS, AND OTHER ORGANIC ORGANY ORGANS!! BUT YOU'LL NEVAR TEKE OUR FREEEEDOOOOOM!!! *Swings saber around head*

Gwen: LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*cough*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET'S Get'm!!!!!!!!

       And so the battle raged on, man vs. Non-man thingy. Curdling screeches and roars of pain came from the battle scene. Blood flung into the air every couple of seconds…no one sure when it would end…ever fighting…ever wondering…

(30 min later)

Shea: *pant pant HACK COUGH!!!* wha…iz over alreaday? BU I WAZ JUS GETTING…*passes out*

Gwen: hey…we won! WE WON!!! YEAH WE WON!! *Shakes you* WE WON DAMNIT!!!! MOTHER F*CKER WE WON!!! WHY ARNT YOU HAPPY? WHAT THE HELLS YOUR PROB*gets slapped*…thank you….

Me: well…. now that this is all over…*looks up at Jhonen*…c…c. (im actually very shy…yeah…) ca…can you sign my book please?  (Hands him JTHM DC)

Jhonen: (who is covered in Monkey Squirrel gore) yeah sure!

Me: YAY!!! ^_^

   AND THAT IS THE TALE OF THE FIRST TIME JHONEN KILLED A MONKEY SQUIRREL!! Wait…. no that aint right!!! AAARRRRGGGG!!!!

So, was this good?!? HUH?!?? Please tell me it was!! PLEASE?!?!? Actually I don't care…. you're all mean to me anyways!! I HATE YOU ALL!

Ummm… I have candy?

R&R.

This fic has been brought to you by Crackhead Corp! Makers of "MY FIRST MACHINE GUN!" (For ages 5-10)

"Give your little one a toy you wont soon forget!"