Reflection
Standard Disclaimers: Yu Yu Hakusho and all its characters are not mine. PG-13 for Hiei's language ^_^;
Chapter Four: Own Existence (Third Person POV)
She jumped.
Through the mist of her own stupor, she had thought she heard a gasp. She awoke from her spot, rubbing her tired eyes through the darkness of the room. She would've believed the gasp to come from her own imagination if not only for the shallow coughs that emitted from the location of the bed.
Her eyes widened. Could it?
She glanced up, sheer joy coursing through her as she found him slouching on the bed in an unbalanced attempt to sit up. He sat up leaning on one arm, his other hand rolled into a fist as he seems to choke on his own breathing, his hair sprawled on his back and shoulders.
She quickly stood up and ran to his side, helping him. She rubbed his back as he tried to catch his breath, his breathing shallow and raspy. He paused for a brief moment, his body still. In a split second, almost missing his move, Botan found herself being pulled. The next thing she knew, she was lying uncomfortably on the bed, her wrist held in his free hand, his lower half pinning her to where she lay. She felt blades pain surge through her back at her position, twisting her body in an attempt to struggle away. But it was in vain as he held her down with his other arm, her back to him as he twisted her wrists together. She groaned through the dilemma as she tried to shift beneath him, struggling weakly through the shock.
His eyes widened through the darkness. "B-Botan?!"
She shut her eyes in pain. "Would you mind?"
He took a sharp intake of breath before realizing what she meant. Quickly, he jumped off of her, helping her to sit up as she rubbed her wrists on where he had held her. "I-I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," he said, watching her fix herself before glaring at him. His eyes were a silent plea under her gaze. "I'm really sorry."
Her expression softened, her lips curling up into a smile. "It's okay, Kurama, I'm all right now," she said, letting go of her wrist, her hands rested on the bed as she sat across him. "How are you feeling?"
A rapid confused expression spread through him as he looked around. The room was fairly dim, but there was enough light to let him see where he was. It was only until then did he realize he was not in his own home anymore. His gaze fell uneasily on her again, his eyes questioning. "Where are we?" he asked, his eyes making her feel a sense of vulnerability. Surely, she hasn't seen him like this before. So weak.
"Hospital," she answered. Her gaze fell on his wounds for a second before getting back to rest on his eyes, "Do you remember what happened?"
Kurama thought for a moment, dropping his gaze to the bandages wrapped on his hands. His stiffened, eyes wide. How could he forget? The mirror. The dreams. The times he feared and despised every second he had with him. All the pain. The hatred.
Of course he remembered.
But he couldn't tell her. Not yet. "No, I don't remember anything," he lied, shaking his head.
She must've seen his face for she asked, "Is something bothering you?"
Kurama made a mental note to try and conceal his feelings from her. It seems she'll be staying with him until morning. Might as well try and avoid the subject. "I'm fine, Botan, just a bit in pain from all these wounds, I suppose," he said, giving her an assuring smile, trying just as much to assure himself to forget about everything for now.
Botan let out a worried smile as she looked at him. "Are you sure? Do you want me to call a doctor?" she asked, her hands creeping up to touch his forehead to see if he was all right, later sliding down to rest on his cheeks.
He cherished the feel of warmth against his cold skin, against the chill of the room's very own temperature. To feel another one's touch had almost been long forgotten to him. Somehow, she made the feeling of disgust away from him, the feeling of his own self's touch. All that was left was the sweetness of her, the tender contact that caused him to let out a smile. He nodded. "I'm fine, no need for a doctor."
She nodded, her smile brightening. "Are you feeling tired? Would like to sleep again?"
She never ceased to amaze him with her sweetness. Ever since he could remember knowing her, she had always put others before herself. A selfless soul that had always achieved success in making other people feel better about themselves. A good friend. And for a strange reason, he wasn't thinking much about what had happened to him. He had forgotten about the hate he kept inside. And even if he did remember, he'd quickly put it aside, his mind not thinking about it much at all. And her presence had somehow contributed to that. She will always be a pleasant company to him. "No, not really"
"It's kind of late" she said, gesturing at the clock. Kurama followed her. It was pretty late, but neither hardly cared.
"If you're tired, it's all right if you---"
"No, I'm fine. I just wonder if you---" there she goes with her selfless words again.
"I'm fine, Botan, really."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Sure?"
He laughed. He was amazed he could still laugh after all that has happened. But seeing through where he was, who he was with, it wasn't a complete mystery. The pleasure of having another person's company had helped block out the wound of the confusion that still scourged his heart and mind. For a minute, he felt as if there was no burden in his life. For that, he was thankful. "Let's just talk, okay?"
Her eyes softened again, a gaze that made him feel warm and cared for. And that still kept him smiling. She sighed. "All right, what do you want to talk about?"
==
"Fuck the life I lead," he muttered through gritted teeth as he half carried-half dragged the body on his back, feeling his knees giving in. "If only I didn't walk through that shit and had gone straight to Makai, this wouldn't have happened to me."
He gave in to his body's plea and sat down on the pavement, resting Youko Kurama's body beside him as he tried to catch his breath. He couldn't imagine what happened. From Kurama's state in the hospital to this insane form of his, Hiei wondered how he could've possibly gone out, with Botan taking care of him.
He glanced through Kurama's unconscious form, his shoulders and head dropped limply down his chest. He was still wondering what had gone through the guys' head to just attack him like that. The way he remembered it, Kurama was not the kind who'd attack senselessly and without reason. Actually, that was more HIS style. Him. Hiei. Not so good little, stubborn Hiei who only listens to Kurama and Mukuro, well, frequently that is.
Hiei shook his head, sprawling his arms lightly on his raised knee. He was so confused, thinking and analyzing is not really a problem to him, but he dislikes the situation nonetheless. It was as if he was with a wholly different person. A person with a different mind. Either that or the same person he knew who accidentally hit his head on a friggin' wall and lost his sanity. Which would be rather stupid if he thinks about it.
"Hell," he cursed as he stood up again, carrying Kurama's body on his back. He was meaning to return him to the hospital, for the man was still wounded even before he attacked him. He'd return him to Botan and tell her to be a little bit more careful. No, a lot more careful.
He stopped in his tracks. If Botan really was taking care of him, one way or another, he should've met her already. She should be searching on her oar. She should be flying around the neighborhood to look for him.
And yet there was nothing but the silence of the empty streets that enveloped his surroundings. Complete silence. No Botan. No one shouting Kurama's name. And with that revelation, he knew something was wrong. His pace was faster now as he headed to the hospital. His mind was spinning, but he tried not to mind it for now as he hoped he knew what was going on.
==
They were laughing and he had never felt so light in his life. Every little word that came from her sounded like little singing bells in his ears. He had missed the company of another. Over the past few days he had only talked with himself, with it answering back that still sends chills down his back. But keeping Botan as company decreases the fear, and he could feel somewhat relaxed around her. He liked listening to her, never had he known she had so many stories to tell. And he was actually the first one to hear them. And at some points, he had told her things that he hadn't even thought of telling anyone else. He supposed it was her cheerfulness and naiveté that made him open up without a second thought.
As for Botan, she was glad Kurama's back. She was happy to see him laughing again, to see one of her best friends living life like he hadn't had any sickness at all. Everything seemed so perfect then.
All was well, or so they thought. For a moment, his sight grew blurry, and his world started spinning. The smile he wore turned into a wince as he held up his hand to rest his head. He tried to act like he didn't mind as not to worry Botan more, but the pain just pushed itself in him, waiting for him to react. It felt like fire, as if something had been cut through his skull. He let out a heavy groan, losing his balance and feeling himself falling. He expected to fall off, but he realized he was still sitting up. He managed to open his eyes and look up.
Botan had stood up by his side by the time his smile faded, catching him in her arms before he fell. Another worried expression spread through her as she tried to calm him down. Too much for not making her worry.
He pulled his knees closer to him, curling up in pain, in attempt to make the throbbing to cease. "Botan, I…"
"Ssh," she tried hushing him as she helped him up, feeling his hands tighten around hers as he groaned again. Her eyes never left him as she tried comforting him, her arms tightening around him as his eyes drifted shut.
He shivered beneath her touch as he drew himself closer to her, taking in as much warmth as he could as pools of ice seemed to replace his blood as they continued their route through his veins. The world was spinning fast in his gaze, he found it hard to open his eyes. He couldn't think, all he felt was the sinking feeling of an omen come to him, flashes of black and white alternating in his sight. He was scared. With a last look at her as he whispered her name on his rapidly paling lips, he closed his eyes.
There was a light knocking on the glass window and a horrified "shit" before Botan heard it slide open. Her eyes flew to where the window was to see Hiei with…
"Kurama?!" she blurted out as Hiei came down to lay Youko Kurama's body down the couch. Her eyes grew wide, shifting petrified gazes at Shuuichi and Youko Kurama. It was only then had she realized that the one she held in her arms had fainted, causing a surge of anxiety run through her. She felt her body tremble as she shifted her gaze at Hiei, thousand of questions in her now tear-stricken eyes.
Hiei was just as dumbfounded. He was confused, shocked and worried all at the same time. The very thought of having to ask all his questions had driven him mad. For a thousandth time had he heard the very same question on his head, 'What's going on?!'
Everything had gone silent until both heard a moan emit from the couch.
A pale hand moved up to his head, a dark sparkle from his eyes. By the time the two saw the glitter of gold in the youko's eyes, they knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Especially Hiei. In an attempt to protect Shuuichi and Botan from the trouble he knew would come, he ran to the youkai to hold him back. But a huge blow of the Youko's fist hit him as he was sent flying to the opposite wall, blood trickling down his lower lip. He suddenly felt like as if a hundred sharp needles had been pierced through his neck, making it feel numb.
"Don't worry, it's not poison, just something to put you to sleep" Youko Kurama said without feeling as he smirked at Hiei.
His eyes grew wide and quickly flew on his neck. His breathing seemed to stop as he realized a long thorn stood erect as it pierced through his skin, drops of his own blood dripping from the visible stem. His hand quickly rushed to it, holding it firmly in his palms and pulling in haste, throwing away the thorn to a corner. He held his wound, catching his breath as he felt his heartbeat slowing down, his eyes growing heavy. He threw a worried look at Botan as she watched him slide down in horror. He shot one more glare at the youkai before he felt himself giving in to the poison. Before another second ticked away, he's down.
A tear rolled down Botan's cheeks as Hiei fell unconscious, Youko Kurama's back to her. She felt her heart thumping in her chest, her hands growing clammy as the youkai slowly turned around, the silent twinkle of his golden gaze reflecting a spark of malice as he eyed her. He took a deep breath, giving her a mocking smile as he licked his lips, "Botan, right?"
End of chapter 4
Standard Disclaimers: Yu Yu Hakusho and all its characters are not mine. PG-13 for Hiei's language ^_^;
Chapter Four: Own Existence (Third Person POV)
She jumped.
Through the mist of her own stupor, she had thought she heard a gasp. She awoke from her spot, rubbing her tired eyes through the darkness of the room. She would've believed the gasp to come from her own imagination if not only for the shallow coughs that emitted from the location of the bed.
Her eyes widened. Could it?
She glanced up, sheer joy coursing through her as she found him slouching on the bed in an unbalanced attempt to sit up. He sat up leaning on one arm, his other hand rolled into a fist as he seems to choke on his own breathing, his hair sprawled on his back and shoulders.
She quickly stood up and ran to his side, helping him. She rubbed his back as he tried to catch his breath, his breathing shallow and raspy. He paused for a brief moment, his body still. In a split second, almost missing his move, Botan found herself being pulled. The next thing she knew, she was lying uncomfortably on the bed, her wrist held in his free hand, his lower half pinning her to where she lay. She felt blades pain surge through her back at her position, twisting her body in an attempt to struggle away. But it was in vain as he held her down with his other arm, her back to him as he twisted her wrists together. She groaned through the dilemma as she tried to shift beneath him, struggling weakly through the shock.
His eyes widened through the darkness. "B-Botan?!"
She shut her eyes in pain. "Would you mind?"
He took a sharp intake of breath before realizing what she meant. Quickly, he jumped off of her, helping her to sit up as she rubbed her wrists on where he had held her. "I-I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," he said, watching her fix herself before glaring at him. His eyes were a silent plea under her gaze. "I'm really sorry."
Her expression softened, her lips curling up into a smile. "It's okay, Kurama, I'm all right now," she said, letting go of her wrist, her hands rested on the bed as she sat across him. "How are you feeling?"
A rapid confused expression spread through him as he looked around. The room was fairly dim, but there was enough light to let him see where he was. It was only until then did he realize he was not in his own home anymore. His gaze fell uneasily on her again, his eyes questioning. "Where are we?" he asked, his eyes making her feel a sense of vulnerability. Surely, she hasn't seen him like this before. So weak.
"Hospital," she answered. Her gaze fell on his wounds for a second before getting back to rest on his eyes, "Do you remember what happened?"
Kurama thought for a moment, dropping his gaze to the bandages wrapped on his hands. His stiffened, eyes wide. How could he forget? The mirror. The dreams. The times he feared and despised every second he had with him. All the pain. The hatred.
Of course he remembered.
But he couldn't tell her. Not yet. "No, I don't remember anything," he lied, shaking his head.
She must've seen his face for she asked, "Is something bothering you?"
Kurama made a mental note to try and conceal his feelings from her. It seems she'll be staying with him until morning. Might as well try and avoid the subject. "I'm fine, Botan, just a bit in pain from all these wounds, I suppose," he said, giving her an assuring smile, trying just as much to assure himself to forget about everything for now.
Botan let out a worried smile as she looked at him. "Are you sure? Do you want me to call a doctor?" she asked, her hands creeping up to touch his forehead to see if he was all right, later sliding down to rest on his cheeks.
He cherished the feel of warmth against his cold skin, against the chill of the room's very own temperature. To feel another one's touch had almost been long forgotten to him. Somehow, she made the feeling of disgust away from him, the feeling of his own self's touch. All that was left was the sweetness of her, the tender contact that caused him to let out a smile. He nodded. "I'm fine, no need for a doctor."
She nodded, her smile brightening. "Are you feeling tired? Would like to sleep again?"
She never ceased to amaze him with her sweetness. Ever since he could remember knowing her, she had always put others before herself. A selfless soul that had always achieved success in making other people feel better about themselves. A good friend. And for a strange reason, he wasn't thinking much about what had happened to him. He had forgotten about the hate he kept inside. And even if he did remember, he'd quickly put it aside, his mind not thinking about it much at all. And her presence had somehow contributed to that. She will always be a pleasant company to him. "No, not really"
"It's kind of late" she said, gesturing at the clock. Kurama followed her. It was pretty late, but neither hardly cared.
"If you're tired, it's all right if you---"
"No, I'm fine. I just wonder if you---" there she goes with her selfless words again.
"I'm fine, Botan, really."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Sure?"
He laughed. He was amazed he could still laugh after all that has happened. But seeing through where he was, who he was with, it wasn't a complete mystery. The pleasure of having another person's company had helped block out the wound of the confusion that still scourged his heart and mind. For a minute, he felt as if there was no burden in his life. For that, he was thankful. "Let's just talk, okay?"
Her eyes softened again, a gaze that made him feel warm and cared for. And that still kept him smiling. She sighed. "All right, what do you want to talk about?"
==
"Fuck the life I lead," he muttered through gritted teeth as he half carried-half dragged the body on his back, feeling his knees giving in. "If only I didn't walk through that shit and had gone straight to Makai, this wouldn't have happened to me."
He gave in to his body's plea and sat down on the pavement, resting Youko Kurama's body beside him as he tried to catch his breath. He couldn't imagine what happened. From Kurama's state in the hospital to this insane form of his, Hiei wondered how he could've possibly gone out, with Botan taking care of him.
He glanced through Kurama's unconscious form, his shoulders and head dropped limply down his chest. He was still wondering what had gone through the guys' head to just attack him like that. The way he remembered it, Kurama was not the kind who'd attack senselessly and without reason. Actually, that was more HIS style. Him. Hiei. Not so good little, stubborn Hiei who only listens to Kurama and Mukuro, well, frequently that is.
Hiei shook his head, sprawling his arms lightly on his raised knee. He was so confused, thinking and analyzing is not really a problem to him, but he dislikes the situation nonetheless. It was as if he was with a wholly different person. A person with a different mind. Either that or the same person he knew who accidentally hit his head on a friggin' wall and lost his sanity. Which would be rather stupid if he thinks about it.
"Hell," he cursed as he stood up again, carrying Kurama's body on his back. He was meaning to return him to the hospital, for the man was still wounded even before he attacked him. He'd return him to Botan and tell her to be a little bit more careful. No, a lot more careful.
He stopped in his tracks. If Botan really was taking care of him, one way or another, he should've met her already. She should be searching on her oar. She should be flying around the neighborhood to look for him.
And yet there was nothing but the silence of the empty streets that enveloped his surroundings. Complete silence. No Botan. No one shouting Kurama's name. And with that revelation, he knew something was wrong. His pace was faster now as he headed to the hospital. His mind was spinning, but he tried not to mind it for now as he hoped he knew what was going on.
==
They were laughing and he had never felt so light in his life. Every little word that came from her sounded like little singing bells in his ears. He had missed the company of another. Over the past few days he had only talked with himself, with it answering back that still sends chills down his back. But keeping Botan as company decreases the fear, and he could feel somewhat relaxed around her. He liked listening to her, never had he known she had so many stories to tell. And he was actually the first one to hear them. And at some points, he had told her things that he hadn't even thought of telling anyone else. He supposed it was her cheerfulness and naiveté that made him open up without a second thought.
As for Botan, she was glad Kurama's back. She was happy to see him laughing again, to see one of her best friends living life like he hadn't had any sickness at all. Everything seemed so perfect then.
All was well, or so they thought. For a moment, his sight grew blurry, and his world started spinning. The smile he wore turned into a wince as he held up his hand to rest his head. He tried to act like he didn't mind as not to worry Botan more, but the pain just pushed itself in him, waiting for him to react. It felt like fire, as if something had been cut through his skull. He let out a heavy groan, losing his balance and feeling himself falling. He expected to fall off, but he realized he was still sitting up. He managed to open his eyes and look up.
Botan had stood up by his side by the time his smile faded, catching him in her arms before he fell. Another worried expression spread through her as she tried to calm him down. Too much for not making her worry.
He pulled his knees closer to him, curling up in pain, in attempt to make the throbbing to cease. "Botan, I…"
"Ssh," she tried hushing him as she helped him up, feeling his hands tighten around hers as he groaned again. Her eyes never left him as she tried comforting him, her arms tightening around him as his eyes drifted shut.
He shivered beneath her touch as he drew himself closer to her, taking in as much warmth as he could as pools of ice seemed to replace his blood as they continued their route through his veins. The world was spinning fast in his gaze, he found it hard to open his eyes. He couldn't think, all he felt was the sinking feeling of an omen come to him, flashes of black and white alternating in his sight. He was scared. With a last look at her as he whispered her name on his rapidly paling lips, he closed his eyes.
There was a light knocking on the glass window and a horrified "shit" before Botan heard it slide open. Her eyes flew to where the window was to see Hiei with…
"Kurama?!" she blurted out as Hiei came down to lay Youko Kurama's body down the couch. Her eyes grew wide, shifting petrified gazes at Shuuichi and Youko Kurama. It was only then had she realized that the one she held in her arms had fainted, causing a surge of anxiety run through her. She felt her body tremble as she shifted her gaze at Hiei, thousand of questions in her now tear-stricken eyes.
Hiei was just as dumbfounded. He was confused, shocked and worried all at the same time. The very thought of having to ask all his questions had driven him mad. For a thousandth time had he heard the very same question on his head, 'What's going on?!'
Everything had gone silent until both heard a moan emit from the couch.
A pale hand moved up to his head, a dark sparkle from his eyes. By the time the two saw the glitter of gold in the youko's eyes, they knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Especially Hiei. In an attempt to protect Shuuichi and Botan from the trouble he knew would come, he ran to the youkai to hold him back. But a huge blow of the Youko's fist hit him as he was sent flying to the opposite wall, blood trickling down his lower lip. He suddenly felt like as if a hundred sharp needles had been pierced through his neck, making it feel numb.
"Don't worry, it's not poison, just something to put you to sleep" Youko Kurama said without feeling as he smirked at Hiei.
His eyes grew wide and quickly flew on his neck. His breathing seemed to stop as he realized a long thorn stood erect as it pierced through his skin, drops of his own blood dripping from the visible stem. His hand quickly rushed to it, holding it firmly in his palms and pulling in haste, throwing away the thorn to a corner. He held his wound, catching his breath as he felt his heartbeat slowing down, his eyes growing heavy. He threw a worried look at Botan as she watched him slide down in horror. He shot one more glare at the youkai before he felt himself giving in to the poison. Before another second ticked away, he's down.
A tear rolled down Botan's cheeks as Hiei fell unconscious, Youko Kurama's back to her. She felt her heart thumping in her chest, her hands growing clammy as the youkai slowly turned around, the silent twinkle of his golden gaze reflecting a spark of malice as he eyed her. He took a deep breath, giving her a mocking smile as he licked his lips, "Botan, right?"
End of chapter 4
