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Story Title: |
One Night Stand |
Disclaimer: still not mine |
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Author: |
Brokie |
Author's Note: Yeah, so this fic is incredibly weird. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I still don't know how I managed to write a Roger/Collins fic, but.. yeah. *shrugs* |
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Chapter Title: |
Forget Your Inhibitions |
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Rating: |
PG for Collins' naughty thoughts |
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Chapter Description: Roger and Collins talk some more, and then Mark comes home. |
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»Collins«
When Roger comes out of the bathroom, I'm lounging on the frayed couch, my feet up on the three-legged coffee table, the fourth corner of which is being supported by a stack of old magazines and papers. Sitting on the table are two cups of coffee, mine nearly empty and his freshly poured and still steaming slightly. There's also a bowl of cereal that I made about ten minutes ago but haven't touched; I'm not feeling quite ready to eat yet.
I can't help but notice that even in faded jeans and an old t-shirt, Roger still manages to look sexy. I banish the thought from my head immediately and try to think of his relationship with Mimi.. that might be over soon. No! Just because Roger is extremely good looking and just because we slept together does not mean he's gay or interested. But it probably means something. But he was drunk! So? People are less repressed when they're uninhibited. Well this is great, I'm having an argument with myself. Just peachy. I think I need to go back to sleep.. with Roger. No, no, no, it's not going to happen, so just stop it already!
Roger walks over and sits down next to me, so I immediately put on my best "no, of course I wasn't just thinking about how great it would be to sleep with you again" face and turn toward him.
"Made you some coffee," I tell him, stretching my arms up over my head. "You feeling any better?"
"Physically or mentally?" he inquires.
"Both."
"Physically.. the Advil I just took hasn't kicked in yet, so not so great. I brushed my teeth though," he tells me with a smirk. "Mentally, I'm pretty much trying not to think about anything yet. It's just.. well, shit. Did I ruin everything? And now I'm starting to wonder if that's really such a bad thing."
I look at him, a little confused, trying hard to look like I'm not duct taping the mouth of the little voice that wants to turn what he just said into something it's not. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that it's getting so hard to deal with. It's like the only reason we're with each other is so we can fight and stop speaking and then get back together, and then just go and do it all over again. We don't talk as much as we should, and I'm not happy anymore. I don't think she is either.. I don't know what to do, but I guess it isn't even my decision. It all depends on what she says when I tell her."
"Yeah," I answer, telling myself that I'm really not hoping they break up. And people think I'm the nice one..
He sighs and sips his coffee. We sit in a comfortable silence for nearly ten minutes before he turns to me and asks the same question that's been at the back of my mind all morning. "This isn't going to change things between us, is it?" he questions. "We're not gonna get all awkward around each other, right?"
"Nothing's going to change if you don't want it to," I reply. I briefly wonder if he catches my double meaning, but I try not to get my hopes up. Okay, where is this coming from? Do I have some crush on Roger that I myself just haven't noticed until now or something? I sigh deeply, and he glances at me but doesn't say anything.
After awhile, we somehow get into a discussion about how the loft used to be when all six of us lived here. This gets us started recounting embarrassing stories about our friends, and occasionally each other, and pretty soon we're falling off the couch laughing. That's probably why Mark gives us such a strange look when he comes into the door. Roger and I quickly pretend we weren't just talking about the time Benny found that pair of handcuffs in Mark and Maureen's dresser drawer when he was looking for something.
"And where were you last night?" Roger asks, his voice sounding plenty suggestive. Mark's face immediately turns a rather amusing shade of pink and I try not to laugh.
"I went home with that girl from the bar," he answers, sounding somewhat shy despite what he's implying.
Roger and I glance at each other and at the same time ask, "What girl?"
"The one with the blond hair and the tank top that said 'naughty' on the front," he replies nonchalantly.
"Oh yeah, I think I remember her.." I nod, but when Mark walks down the hall to his room I give Roger a look that tells him I have no idea who Mark is talking about. He smiles and then turns toward me, looking nervous.
"Um, Collins? Do you wanna.. do you think we should tell him?"
I consider this for a second. "I think we should wait until you tell Mimi, so she doesn't find out from someone else."
He nods as Mark walks back into the room.
"So, Collins, what're you doing here?" Mark asks innocently.
"I came back here from the bar at about two in the morning so Roger told me I could crash here," I answer, hoping I sound like I'm telling the whole truth and not just the part that happened before all the kissing. And the blow job. And who can forget the sex? Not me, I'm sure. Mark looks like he believes me, and why wouldn't he? Because if my crush on Roger is that obvious then I think I'll just go into the other room and panic real quick.
"Oh. Well, I think I'm gonna go film in the park, so I'll see you guys later. Have fun."
"Okay, later," Roger answers.
"Bye Mark," I add.
"Oh, and Roger, I saw Mimi on the way back from Shelley's. She told me she's gonna come up here and talk to you tonight.."
Roger stares at Mark for a few seconds. "Talk to me, as in work things out and get back together, or talk to me as in she has something bad to tell me?"
Mark looks uncomfortable. "Umm, I'm not sure, I wasn't really paying enough attention I guess. I would think you'd be getting back together, I mean, you always do, right?"
"Right," Roger says, sounding less than convinced. "Okay, bye then."
"See ya."
Mark slips out the door—without his camera for once—and Roger turns to me, an unsure look on his face.
"Collins?"
"Yeah?" I ask, the back of my mind busy thinking about how adorable he looks when he's worried. I'm going to stop with these thoughts, I really am..
"Did you believe him?"
"Hmm? Believe Mark? What, about the girl from the bar?" I ask hopefully, not wanting to have to hurt him if he's asking what I think he is.
"No, about Mimi. Do you really think he was telling the truth when he said he didn't know what she wants to talk to me about? When he said he wasn't paying attention?"
I sigh. "Roger, I really don't know. Maybe he wasn't paying attention because he was hung over, or because he was thinking about Sherry, or whatever that girl's name was."
"But maybe he did know and he didn't want to tell me," Roger finishes for me. I nod reluctantly. "I hope she's okay. I don't think she's gone to the doctor very recently or anything.. and if she cheated on me or something, then at least she's telling me, and it would be stupid to get mad about it because I cheated on her, too. Sorry, are you uncomfortable with talking about this?"
"Oh, I'm.. yeah, a little bit," I admit. "I'm sure Mimi's perfectly healthy, Rog, she's been doing fine. And you said yourself you weren't sure what you wanted to happen with the relationship, and maybe she feels the same way. That might be better for both of you, because then you could talk it over and decide what you want to happen."
He stares at me for a few seconds. "Collins, I don't think I tell you how great you are anywhere near enough."
Now it's my turn to stare. Then I get a mischievous thought..
"You mean in bed?" I ask, raising an eyebrow and smirking. "Oh, well I don't need you to tell me that, people tell me that all the time. In fact, just the other day—"
Suddenly I realize that his face is bright red and he's trying very hard to avoid looking at me. Well, shit, why don't I just scare the poor little straight boy a bit more for good measure?
"I'm sorry, Roger, I know that's not what you meant.."
He looks up at me, his eyes wide and far too easy to drown in. "Collins, do you think I'm gay?" he questions softly, catching me a little off guard.
"I don't know, Roger, do you think you are?" I ask gently. "What happened last night doesn't necessarily mean anything about your sexuality. You might be the straightest guy on the planet and just have had too much to drink. Or, it could mean that you've unknowingly been in the closet all this time and have had a huge crush on me since the day we met."
I get at least a tiny smile out of him, but he doesn't look very reassured. He moves over so he's sitting next to me and looks at me, unsure.
"Collins? Could you.. maybe put your arm around me like you did in the bathroom earlier?" Jesus, I haven't heard him sound this vulnerable since April's suicide.. And he wants me to—oh, shut up, now's not the time. He wants me to comfort him, not to find hidden meanings in everything he says.
I nod and slide my arm around him, pulling him close to me and letting him rest his head on my shoulder. And it doesn't feel uncomfortable or unnatural, or like it means anything more than it would have yesterday or the day before. It just feels like he needs me, like he needs someone to reassure him and tell him everything's going to be okay, and I'm happy to oblige for no other reason than to make him happy again.
Wow.. the ending got a bit fluffy and sugary sweet there didn't it? This will probably be continued quite soon. I really don't understand the whole thing with me being able to write this but unable to write anything I like on my other two unfinished fics, but oh well.. Anyways, please review!
