Story Title:

One Night Stand

Disclaimer: still not mine

Author:

Brokie

Author's Note: It's done! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed & asked me to continue. Special big huge thanks to Jolie for the review of Chapter 1 she e-mailed me way back when. :-)

Chapter Title:

Too Right to Be Wrong

Rating:

PG-13 for..

stuff ;-)

Chapter Description: Collins gets a visitor. Hmm, wonder who it is? *w*

»Collins«

I'm trying not to think about last night, but it just isn't working. The scenes and images that keep flashing through my head are definitely not things I should be thinking about right now. I keep thinking of Roger, eyes closed, as he.. well, look at that. I think I need to go take a very very cold shower. With Roger. Yes, wouldn't that be nice. Only it's never going to happen, so shut up! Think about Benny's dead Akita. Think about the old man on the corner who doesn't have any teeth left. Think about kissing Roger. No, wait, on second thought, don't think about that. Think about how it meant absolutely nothing. But he said he might want it to mean something. So? He's just confused. And I'm just arguing with myself again. Great.

The doorbell rings. As I unlock and open the door, I try really hard to convince myself that it isn't him. But it is, and he looks.. strange. A little sad, more than a little nervous. When he sees me looking at him, he steps in and offers up a half smile that instantly lets me know what this is about.

"You talked to Mimi?" I ask as I shut the door behind him, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. I—we.. she went home with someone else last night," he tells me, his words calm and accepting instead of angry like I would have expected. "We broke up. Which is weird. I mean, of course I care that it's over, but I guess it doesn't really feel like I'm losing anything."

"Why not?" I question, more than a little confused.

"I think I already lost her awhile ago. And it's for the best, which sounds cliche, I know, but it is."

He looks like he's about to add something else but doesn't quite know what to say. "But that doesn't make it stop hurting, right?" I ask gently.

"Of course not. I—God, Collins, she's supposed to be the one, you know? The last person I ever thought I could fall out of love with. I guess I kind of understand the logic behind the whole 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' thing now. But, I mean.. when did we drift apart? You wouldn't know the answer to that, but I'm just—this is so messed up."

I raise an eyebrow questioningly. "What's messed up about it?"

He glances up, giving me his infamous lost-little-boy look again, and I can almost feel something inside of me breaking at the sight of it. I want him to stop hurting, anything to make him smile again..

He looks at his feet and then back up, with the same sort of boyish shyness he had when I first met him. Yes, shyness; the result of constant alienation and having a father who Roger could never be good enough for.

And so there we stood, me resisting the urge to envelop him in my arms and him busy dredging up one of those little smiles I've seen too many times before—the kind that I always know is fake and always wish could be real. The back of my head is still thinking illogical thoughts like how he never answered my question and weren't Roger and Mimi supposed to be together forever? But the rest of me is too preoccupied with following my instincts and stepping forward to wrap my arms around him.

He moves forward as well, meeting me halfway and suddenly I feel his lips pressed against mine. It feels surreal but at the same time unbelievably authentic compared to the hazy frayed memories I have of last night. The reasonable part of me is insisting this must be a mistake, he couldn't have meant to kiss me. But when I open my eyes, his are closed and he's not stopping and I have to stop this no matter how perfect I think it feels, it's wrong, it's wrong.. It's wrong, and I'm just now realizing that and I'm pushing him away and no! He is not supposed to look like that, I am not supposed to have hurt him too, and I have to explain to him, explain that it's all for the wrong reasons—

"No, no, Roger, we can't do this! It's—you're only doing this because you just broke up with Mimi, I'm just a rebound—"

He pauses, studies my face in a way that makes me blush. "What if I told you it wasn't because of Mimi? What if I said you were the farthest thing from any rebound I've ever had?"

God his voice is sexy, but—"If you told me that," I murmur. "If you did.. would you be telling the truth?"

He kisses my pulse lightly, then presses his lips to the corner of my mouth. "Would it even matter if I wasn't?" he whispers in my ear. I shiver.

"I hate you.." I tell him, wishing with every irrational part of me that he would kiss me again. "But please, Rog, I need to.."

He pulls back and stares into my eyes. "It's not because of Mimi."

And I'm staring back at him and trying to breathe and god his lips are soft.. So amazing, no matter how wrong it's supposed to be. I'm just now realizing that even though we really shouldn't be doing this, it feels too right to be wrong, and even if it is wrong, I'm already too far past caring to do anything about it. And now I'm realizing that I really need to stop thinking..

Huh. I guess Roger was right. This is pretty messed up, isn't it?

THE END

So.. liked it? Hated it? Please review.

P.S.—Apologies to all you Collins/Angel fans out there.. yes, I know they're adorable and they're supposed to be together forever, but I am a very weird person and I really didn't mean for this fic to happen at all. Sorry.