This is a continuation of what happens in "Quo Vadis", so if you haven't
seen the episode, I don't suggest you read the story. This song is
"Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch, who's CD I just got today and was
playing it and heard this song and realized it was a perfect Carby. You
should definitely download the song if you want a good song to listen to.
Thanks to Allie who offers tremendous support all the time no matter how
bitchy I'm being. Additional thanks to Jen who also offers support and
encouragement whenever I need it.
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Abby had had a really stressful day. Fifteen minutes before her shift ended, she decided to take a short break to the roof for a quick cigarette before going home. Since the roof was almost always empty, she always went up there when she was stressed and wanted to get away from the chaos in the ER.
As she opened the door to step onto the roof, she noticed two people were already occupying the area. She was about to turn around to leave them alone, but one of the people caught her eye. As she saw him lean down to kiss the woman, she backed out of the doorway, embarrassed and mortified at the same time. She ran down the stairs quickly, still ashamed of what she had witnessed. Almost not wanting to believe it, she held back the tears that were starting to form. She couldn't let anyone know what she had seen.
Why had Carter been kissing Susan? He had told Abby that she had too much baggage and she was too attached to Luka. She had heard a rumor that Mark and Susan had been an item before she left for Phoenix. Wasn't that baggage too? Was she actually jealous? God, why was she acting like this. It was natural for two people to kiss. It was just strange to see Carter kissing someone else. Well Luka had moved on from her, shouldn't Carter move on also? But John was different. It wasn't a past relationship to just get over. It was the thoughts of what might have been or could have been. All these thoughts ran through her head as she gathered her belongings out of her locker and prepared to go home.
As she reached to open the door to the lounge to leave, it opened from the other direction.
"Oh, Abby, I'm sorry. Did I hit you?" Abby could tell Susan had been laughing but had stopped as soon as she came through the door.
"Uh, no. Excuse me, I have to go." Abby said quickly and rushed from the room. She was already through the ambulance bay doors before Carter joined Susan in the lounge.
"Oh, you just missed Abby. She was acting really strange though. I think I hit her with the door when I was coming into the lounge. I apologized, but she blew me off." Susan explained to Carter.
"Hmm, I wonder what's wrong with her." John thought to himself, but aloud replied, "I'm sure she didn't mean to be rude."
"So, you want to go get something to eat?" Susan asked, hopefully.
"I am so sorry that I forgot to tell you. I promised Gamma I'd go visit her."
"Oh, that's okay. Tomorrow is fine." Susan said, somewhat disappointed. Carter could sense her disappointment, but he couldn't let down his grandmother. He gave Susan a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the hospital. He made a quick stop at his apartment to change his shirt and grabbed a piece of fruit before jumping back in his car and driving to the large family estate. He rang the doorbell and was shortly let in. After putting up his coat, he started up the stairs to his grandmother's room.
When he reached the top of the stairs and had gone down the hallway to the last door on the left, he quietly knocked on the large door before sticking his head in the room. Realizing that Gamma was sitting up in her bed, John entered the room and went over to her.
"How are you feeling today Gamma?" John asked, giving her a kiss on the cheek and taking her hand.
"Well, I must say I have felt better. I wish I were able to leave this God forsaken bed though."
"Give it time. You've only been home for three days." Carter said patiently.
"I know John, but I just feel so confined in this bed, and you know how I hate feeling tied down."
"I know Gamma. You need rest though. Doctor's orders." John said and smiled.
"Speaking of doctor's, I haven't received any more flowers from Dr. Lewis lately."
"I told you she apologized. It was an honest mistake." Carter tried to explain much to the disapproving looks of his grandmother.
"Are you two sleeping together?" Gamma asked after a moment.
"Gamma!" John exclaimed.
"Well I know it's the twenty-first century and things like that do happen."
"Can we please not talk about this."
"What ever happened to the other girl? The nurse?"
"Abby?"
"She seemed nice enough."
"Yeah, well I kind of messed things up with that." Carter said, bowing his head.
"How?"
"I told her how I felt about her last summer, but she was in the middle of a relationship and she didn't respond and things just kind of fell apart."
"Do you regret that you let her get away?"
"In a way. On one hand, I think what does it matter, it would never have worked out, there are too many complications."
"What's life without complications?" Gamma interrupted.
"On the other hand, I do miss her. She was my best friend. She opened up to me about everything, but I got selfish and let that slip through my fingers. Then when I got another chance I told myself the damage had already been done and closed my ears to her." Carter said, not paying attention to what Gamma had said.
"But what about Dr. Lewis?"
"I don't know what to think. I had a crush on her a long time ago and I wanted those feelings to come back so badly that I've been making myself believe."
"It sounds to me like you know what you want." Gamma said, knowingly.
"If only it was that simple."
"I'm sure if you tell Abby exactly what you just told me, she will understand. I want you to be happy John. And last year was the happiest I'd ever seen you. I know you may not believe me, but I think she brings that out in you. I saw you at your grandfather's funeral. I saw your smile. She brought that out in you, and I have to say I was beginning to miss it."
"Gamma." John started to say.
"Go to her John. Don't wait. Tell her how you feel and don't let her slip away again. Take the advice of an old woman and just do it." Gamma said and squeezed her grandson's hand.
"Thank you." John whispered and leaned down to hug his grandmother.
"Just go tell her." Gamma whispered back as she wrapped her arms around John. "I love you." Gamma said with a smile and sighed as she watched John leave.
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Okay, sorry if this left things kind of undefined, but a lot more will happen in the second chapter. It's 12am and I really need sleep, which is why I'm cutting the story off now. The second chapter will have the song for the entire thing and the whole thing will make a whole lot more sense than it does now, I just really wanted to get the first part written and done before I continued. I hope you enjoy. As always, you can email me at incognito0686@yahoo.com or check out my website at http://www.geocities.com/incognito0686.
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Abby had had a really stressful day. Fifteen minutes before her shift ended, she decided to take a short break to the roof for a quick cigarette before going home. Since the roof was almost always empty, she always went up there when she was stressed and wanted to get away from the chaos in the ER.
As she opened the door to step onto the roof, she noticed two people were already occupying the area. She was about to turn around to leave them alone, but one of the people caught her eye. As she saw him lean down to kiss the woman, she backed out of the doorway, embarrassed and mortified at the same time. She ran down the stairs quickly, still ashamed of what she had witnessed. Almost not wanting to believe it, she held back the tears that were starting to form. She couldn't let anyone know what she had seen.
Why had Carter been kissing Susan? He had told Abby that she had too much baggage and she was too attached to Luka. She had heard a rumor that Mark and Susan had been an item before she left for Phoenix. Wasn't that baggage too? Was she actually jealous? God, why was she acting like this. It was natural for two people to kiss. It was just strange to see Carter kissing someone else. Well Luka had moved on from her, shouldn't Carter move on also? But John was different. It wasn't a past relationship to just get over. It was the thoughts of what might have been or could have been. All these thoughts ran through her head as she gathered her belongings out of her locker and prepared to go home.
As she reached to open the door to the lounge to leave, it opened from the other direction.
"Oh, Abby, I'm sorry. Did I hit you?" Abby could tell Susan had been laughing but had stopped as soon as she came through the door.
"Uh, no. Excuse me, I have to go." Abby said quickly and rushed from the room. She was already through the ambulance bay doors before Carter joined Susan in the lounge.
"Oh, you just missed Abby. She was acting really strange though. I think I hit her with the door when I was coming into the lounge. I apologized, but she blew me off." Susan explained to Carter.
"Hmm, I wonder what's wrong with her." John thought to himself, but aloud replied, "I'm sure she didn't mean to be rude."
"So, you want to go get something to eat?" Susan asked, hopefully.
"I am so sorry that I forgot to tell you. I promised Gamma I'd go visit her."
"Oh, that's okay. Tomorrow is fine." Susan said, somewhat disappointed. Carter could sense her disappointment, but he couldn't let down his grandmother. He gave Susan a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the hospital. He made a quick stop at his apartment to change his shirt and grabbed a piece of fruit before jumping back in his car and driving to the large family estate. He rang the doorbell and was shortly let in. After putting up his coat, he started up the stairs to his grandmother's room.
When he reached the top of the stairs and had gone down the hallway to the last door on the left, he quietly knocked on the large door before sticking his head in the room. Realizing that Gamma was sitting up in her bed, John entered the room and went over to her.
"How are you feeling today Gamma?" John asked, giving her a kiss on the cheek and taking her hand.
"Well, I must say I have felt better. I wish I were able to leave this God forsaken bed though."
"Give it time. You've only been home for three days." Carter said patiently.
"I know John, but I just feel so confined in this bed, and you know how I hate feeling tied down."
"I know Gamma. You need rest though. Doctor's orders." John said and smiled.
"Speaking of doctor's, I haven't received any more flowers from Dr. Lewis lately."
"I told you she apologized. It was an honest mistake." Carter tried to explain much to the disapproving looks of his grandmother.
"Are you two sleeping together?" Gamma asked after a moment.
"Gamma!" John exclaimed.
"Well I know it's the twenty-first century and things like that do happen."
"Can we please not talk about this."
"What ever happened to the other girl? The nurse?"
"Abby?"
"She seemed nice enough."
"Yeah, well I kind of messed things up with that." Carter said, bowing his head.
"How?"
"I told her how I felt about her last summer, but she was in the middle of a relationship and she didn't respond and things just kind of fell apart."
"Do you regret that you let her get away?"
"In a way. On one hand, I think what does it matter, it would never have worked out, there are too many complications."
"What's life without complications?" Gamma interrupted.
"On the other hand, I do miss her. She was my best friend. She opened up to me about everything, but I got selfish and let that slip through my fingers. Then when I got another chance I told myself the damage had already been done and closed my ears to her." Carter said, not paying attention to what Gamma had said.
"But what about Dr. Lewis?"
"I don't know what to think. I had a crush on her a long time ago and I wanted those feelings to come back so badly that I've been making myself believe."
"It sounds to me like you know what you want." Gamma said, knowingly.
"If only it was that simple."
"I'm sure if you tell Abby exactly what you just told me, she will understand. I want you to be happy John. And last year was the happiest I'd ever seen you. I know you may not believe me, but I think she brings that out in you. I saw you at your grandfather's funeral. I saw your smile. She brought that out in you, and I have to say I was beginning to miss it."
"Gamma." John started to say.
"Go to her John. Don't wait. Tell her how you feel and don't let her slip away again. Take the advice of an old woman and just do it." Gamma said and squeezed her grandson's hand.
"Thank you." John whispered and leaned down to hug his grandmother.
"Just go tell her." Gamma whispered back as she wrapped her arms around John. "I love you." Gamma said with a smile and sighed as she watched John leave.
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Okay, sorry if this left things kind of undefined, but a lot more will happen in the second chapter. It's 12am and I really need sleep, which is why I'm cutting the story off now. The second chapter will have the song for the entire thing and the whole thing will make a whole lot more sense than it does now, I just really wanted to get the first part written and done before I continued. I hope you enjoy. As always, you can email me at incognito0686@yahoo.com or check out my website at http://www.geocities.com/incognito0686.
