Chibi Gundam-W in Woodshop 101
Jade Sakura
Disclaimer: anyone else get tired of these?? oh well here goes: Not makin' money off dis , blahblah, textbooks only thing of value, Blahblahblah, *sigh*
"Alright, class." Ms. Jameson said. "I know you've all been working really
hard on your projects, and now it's time to show them to the rest of the class
and give an oral report. Quatre, would you like to go first?"
Quatre stood up, carrying his project up to the front of the class. "This is a
spice rack I made for my mother. I rounded off all the corners and edges, and
I used a dark stain on it so it looks nice. I hope my mom finds this to be very
useful."
Ms. Jameson clapped. "Very good, Quatre. Would anyone like to go next?"
Catherine stood up and went to the head of the class. She held up what
appeared to be a lump of wood that was randomly hacked at. "This is the
circus elephant I've been working on. Isn't it great?"
"Um," Ms. Jameson said. "Suppose you went into detail about your elephant.
Like, where the trunk is, and such."
"Oh, okay." She turned it around and pointed at a slight bulge in the wood.
"That there's the trunk, here's the ears, there's the small tusks, I didn't want to
make them too long, in case they broke off, and here's the legs."
Treize leaned towards Trowa and said, "Looks like a pile of crap if you ask
me."
Trowa glared at him, and the rest of the class looked at him. Catherine started
crying.
"I tried so hard!" She sobbed as she ran out of the room. Trowa went to
follow her, but Ms. Jameson stopped him.
"She'll be alright. I'll talk to Treize here later." She said, glaring at Treize.
"Why don't you go next, Trowa?"
"Okay." He said. He picked up his block of wood and went to the front. "This
is my project. It is simple. It is a work of art. Thank you." He went to sit
down.
"Trowa, are you trying to get out of doing this?" Ms. Jameson said.
"No. I sanded it. I kept it simple." Trowa replied.
Ms. Jameson sighed. "Okay, but that brings your grade down. Um, Wufei,
why don't you show us what you made?"
Wufei went up with what looked like two sticks in his hand. "These are my
nunchucks. I made them strong, to put up with wear, unlike women. They are
not strong. They are weak. As with Catherine earlier, they break down at any
given-"
"Alright, enough, mister." Ms. Jameson said. "Sit down right now before I
flunk you totally."
Wufei sat, mumbling the whole time about "Taking orders from a woman."
Ms. Jameson took a bottle of asprin from her desk drawer and took two pills.
After a few deep breaths, she said. "Okay. Okay. Who wants to go next?"
Zechs stood up, carrying what looked like a bowl. "I have made a sculpture
dedicated to my one true love."
At this, Lucrezia Noin sighed dreamily.
Zechs turned the bowl upside-down and held it above his head. It is a
sculpture of my helmet. I lovingly crafted it out of-"
That was as far as he got before a flying chunk of wood hit him in the face.
"Ms. Noin!" Ms. Jameson exclaimed. "What is the meaning of this?"
"That...that jerk!" She said. She turned away in her seat, arms crossed.
"Unh," Zechs said from the floor. "What'd I do? I'm confused."
"Ms. Noin, you will go next, then you will sit down and stay quiet!" Ms.
Jameson said.
Noin reluctantly got up and carried a sculpture with her. "This is a bust of
MY one true love, Zechs Marquis. Unlike him, I actually care about him, not
his stupid helmet."
"That doesn't look like me at all." Zechs said, finally managing to get up.
Noin grabbed Zechs's helmet off his head and put it on her bust of him.
"Hey! Give that back!" Zechs said.
"Oohh, I see it now." Hilde said.
"Um, good job, Ms. Noin. Sit down now." Ms. Jameson said, popping
another two asprin and chasing it with liquid Mylanta. "Who wants to go
next?"
Duo got up and strode to the front of the class. He held up a scythe. "This is
my Shinigami scythe. Of course it's not functional, but it represents me,
Shinigami. Because I am Shinigami, God of Death. Thank you."
Duo strode back to his seat, not noticing that Hilde was turning red and
looking like she could kill with a glance.
"I'll...go...next." She said between clenched teeth. She got up, gripping a long piece of wood, and went to the
front. She brandished the stick, saying, "This is a wooden Samauri sword. It
is functional, and Duo, Honey, if you utter the word "Shinigami" in my
prescence again, I will come after you with it. Thank you." She sat down.
After taking what looked like a couple of purple Prilosec pills, Ms. Jameson
said, "Okay, um, Sally, how about you? Do you have anything normal to
show us?"
Sally went up to the front of the class and hoisted a bust. "This is a bust of the
gorgeous Wufei. I took extra care in the details-"
"Hey, woman!" Wufei yelled. "Have you no shame, woman? No sense of
pride!?"
"Um, forget it, Sally." Ms. Jameson said.
"I can top that!" Treize said. He went up to the front and bumped Sally to the
side. He held up a small statue. "This is a nude statue of Wufei. I paid much
more attention to the details-"
"Oh, the shame, the dishonor!" Wufei exclaimed. He jumped over to Treize
and, wielding his nunchucks, smashed the statue with two blows. Tears
welled up in Treize's eyes.
"Wha? But...I...Time...Fantasy...Nude..." He stammered.
"ALL THREE OF YOU, SIT DOWN!!!" Ms. Jameson said. They complied,
and, after she mixed up a medicinal Kamikaze consisting of Pepto-Bismol,
Mylanta, asprin, Prilosec, and Prozac and Zoloft, and chugging it down, she
looked at the class.
"Okay, who else wants to ruin my day?" She looked around. "Heero, why
don't you go? You can't possibly be any worse than the others."
Heero got up, but without his project. He had left a block of wood on his
table.
"This is my project." He said mechanically. He pulled a gun from his shorts
and shot at the block of wood on his table. He stood there for a second, then
went back to his seat.
When Ms. Jameson got done praying, she looked up at her class. "Alright,
who's left?"
Relena bounced out of her seat, practically screeching, "Heeeerrooooo, I
made something for you, oh Heeeeeerrrooooo!"
Instead of going to the front, she went directly to Heero with what seemed to
be a pile of pink pieces of wood. "I made this birdhouse for you! It's a pretty
pink and it's all for you! Don't you like it?"
She put her "birdhouse" on the table in front of Heero. He stared at it for a
few seconds, then he pulled his gun out again and shot it. It exploded into
thousands of pink splinters.
"No." Was all he said. Relena returned to her seat, wide-eyed and upset.
By this time Dorothy was the only one left. "Ms. Jameson? I'm going next,
you might want to watch."
"I might rregret it, but shure, I'll watchuh." Ms. Jameson said, her Kamikaze
taking hold of her.
Dorothy went to the front and held up a statue. "I made a statue of my darling
Quatre Raberba Winner, depicting him as Venus rising from the foam of the
ocean."
Quatre groaned and leaned his head on his forearms, red with embarassment.
"Since I do not believe in dimming his natural beauty with censorship, he is
nude, just like Venus."
"Ohh, nooo..." Quatre moaned, turning redder than anyone thought he could.
"That was my project, thank you for listening." She sat down, next to Quatre,
and said, "Isn't this a thing of beauty, Quatre?"
"Please stop stalking me," Quatre whimpered.
Duo spoke up. "Hey, look what happened to the teacher."
Ms. Jameson was slumped over her desk, drooling like a madwoman and
making incoherable sounds.
"Um, shouldn't someone do something?" Hilde said.
"I guess I'll get the principal." Noin said.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------
"Alright, class, listen up. Ms. Jameson is in the hospital recovering after
getting her stomach pumped, so I will take over until she gets better." Just
then a runner came in and handed the principal a note. After reading the note,
he said, "Um, actually, she just put in her letter of resignation. What did you
kids do to her?"
Quatre spoke up. "She asked us to share our projects to the class, and we did.
Say, does her doctor know she mixes drugs? I think she was an alcoholic
before she got this teaching job."
Everyone agreed with him, and the principal just shook his head.
"I don't see what could make her do that. Why don't you show me your
projects?"
End
Jade Sakura
Disclaimer: anyone else get tired of these?? oh well here goes: Not makin' money off dis , blahblah, textbooks only thing of value, Blahblahblah, *sigh*
"Alright, class." Ms. Jameson said. "I know you've all been working really
hard on your projects, and now it's time to show them to the rest of the class
and give an oral report. Quatre, would you like to go first?"
Quatre stood up, carrying his project up to the front of the class. "This is a
spice rack I made for my mother. I rounded off all the corners and edges, and
I used a dark stain on it so it looks nice. I hope my mom finds this to be very
useful."
Ms. Jameson clapped. "Very good, Quatre. Would anyone like to go next?"
Catherine stood up and went to the head of the class. She held up what
appeared to be a lump of wood that was randomly hacked at. "This is the
circus elephant I've been working on. Isn't it great?"
"Um," Ms. Jameson said. "Suppose you went into detail about your elephant.
Like, where the trunk is, and such."
"Oh, okay." She turned it around and pointed at a slight bulge in the wood.
"That there's the trunk, here's the ears, there's the small tusks, I didn't want to
make them too long, in case they broke off, and here's the legs."
Treize leaned towards Trowa and said, "Looks like a pile of crap if you ask
me."
Trowa glared at him, and the rest of the class looked at him. Catherine started
crying.
"I tried so hard!" She sobbed as she ran out of the room. Trowa went to
follow her, but Ms. Jameson stopped him.
"She'll be alright. I'll talk to Treize here later." She said, glaring at Treize.
"Why don't you go next, Trowa?"
"Okay." He said. He picked up his block of wood and went to the front. "This
is my project. It is simple. It is a work of art. Thank you." He went to sit
down.
"Trowa, are you trying to get out of doing this?" Ms. Jameson said.
"No. I sanded it. I kept it simple." Trowa replied.
Ms. Jameson sighed. "Okay, but that brings your grade down. Um, Wufei,
why don't you show us what you made?"
Wufei went up with what looked like two sticks in his hand. "These are my
nunchucks. I made them strong, to put up with wear, unlike women. They are
not strong. They are weak. As with Catherine earlier, they break down at any
given-"
"Alright, enough, mister." Ms. Jameson said. "Sit down right now before I
flunk you totally."
Wufei sat, mumbling the whole time about "Taking orders from a woman."
Ms. Jameson took a bottle of asprin from her desk drawer and took two pills.
After a few deep breaths, she said. "Okay. Okay. Who wants to go next?"
Zechs stood up, carrying what looked like a bowl. "I have made a sculpture
dedicated to my one true love."
At this, Lucrezia Noin sighed dreamily.
Zechs turned the bowl upside-down and held it above his head. It is a
sculpture of my helmet. I lovingly crafted it out of-"
That was as far as he got before a flying chunk of wood hit him in the face.
"Ms. Noin!" Ms. Jameson exclaimed. "What is the meaning of this?"
"That...that jerk!" She said. She turned away in her seat, arms crossed.
"Unh," Zechs said from the floor. "What'd I do? I'm confused."
"Ms. Noin, you will go next, then you will sit down and stay quiet!" Ms.
Jameson said.
Noin reluctantly got up and carried a sculpture with her. "This is a bust of
MY one true love, Zechs Marquis. Unlike him, I actually care about him, not
his stupid helmet."
"That doesn't look like me at all." Zechs said, finally managing to get up.
Noin grabbed Zechs's helmet off his head and put it on her bust of him.
"Hey! Give that back!" Zechs said.
"Oohh, I see it now." Hilde said.
"Um, good job, Ms. Noin. Sit down now." Ms. Jameson said, popping
another two asprin and chasing it with liquid Mylanta. "Who wants to go
next?"
Duo got up and strode to the front of the class. He held up a scythe. "This is
my Shinigami scythe. Of course it's not functional, but it represents me,
Shinigami. Because I am Shinigami, God of Death. Thank you."
Duo strode back to his seat, not noticing that Hilde was turning red and
looking like she could kill with a glance.
"I'll...go...next." She said between clenched teeth. She got up, gripping a long piece of wood, and went to the
front. She brandished the stick, saying, "This is a wooden Samauri sword. It
is functional, and Duo, Honey, if you utter the word "Shinigami" in my
prescence again, I will come after you with it. Thank you." She sat down.
After taking what looked like a couple of purple Prilosec pills, Ms. Jameson
said, "Okay, um, Sally, how about you? Do you have anything normal to
show us?"
Sally went up to the front of the class and hoisted a bust. "This is a bust of the
gorgeous Wufei. I took extra care in the details-"
"Hey, woman!" Wufei yelled. "Have you no shame, woman? No sense of
pride!?"
"Um, forget it, Sally." Ms. Jameson said.
"I can top that!" Treize said. He went up to the front and bumped Sally to the
side. He held up a small statue. "This is a nude statue of Wufei. I paid much
more attention to the details-"
"Oh, the shame, the dishonor!" Wufei exclaimed. He jumped over to Treize
and, wielding his nunchucks, smashed the statue with two blows. Tears
welled up in Treize's eyes.
"Wha? But...I...Time...Fantasy...Nude..." He stammered.
"ALL THREE OF YOU, SIT DOWN!!!" Ms. Jameson said. They complied,
and, after she mixed up a medicinal Kamikaze consisting of Pepto-Bismol,
Mylanta, asprin, Prilosec, and Prozac and Zoloft, and chugging it down, she
looked at the class.
"Okay, who else wants to ruin my day?" She looked around. "Heero, why
don't you go? You can't possibly be any worse than the others."
Heero got up, but without his project. He had left a block of wood on his
table.
"This is my project." He said mechanically. He pulled a gun from his shorts
and shot at the block of wood on his table. He stood there for a second, then
went back to his seat.
When Ms. Jameson got done praying, she looked up at her class. "Alright,
who's left?"
Relena bounced out of her seat, practically screeching, "Heeeerrooooo, I
made something for you, oh Heeeeeerrrooooo!"
Instead of going to the front, she went directly to Heero with what seemed to
be a pile of pink pieces of wood. "I made this birdhouse for you! It's a pretty
pink and it's all for you! Don't you like it?"
She put her "birdhouse" on the table in front of Heero. He stared at it for a
few seconds, then he pulled his gun out again and shot it. It exploded into
thousands of pink splinters.
"No." Was all he said. Relena returned to her seat, wide-eyed and upset.
By this time Dorothy was the only one left. "Ms. Jameson? I'm going next,
you might want to watch."
"I might rregret it, but shure, I'll watchuh." Ms. Jameson said, her Kamikaze
taking hold of her.
Dorothy went to the front and held up a statue. "I made a statue of my darling
Quatre Raberba Winner, depicting him as Venus rising from the foam of the
ocean."
Quatre groaned and leaned his head on his forearms, red with embarassment.
"Since I do not believe in dimming his natural beauty with censorship, he is
nude, just like Venus."
"Ohh, nooo..." Quatre moaned, turning redder than anyone thought he could.
"That was my project, thank you for listening." She sat down, next to Quatre,
and said, "Isn't this a thing of beauty, Quatre?"
"Please stop stalking me," Quatre whimpered.
Duo spoke up. "Hey, look what happened to the teacher."
Ms. Jameson was slumped over her desk, drooling like a madwoman and
making incoherable sounds.
"Um, shouldn't someone do something?" Hilde said.
"I guess I'll get the principal." Noin said.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------
"Alright, class, listen up. Ms. Jameson is in the hospital recovering after
getting her stomach pumped, so I will take over until she gets better." Just
then a runner came in and handed the principal a note. After reading the note,
he said, "Um, actually, she just put in her letter of resignation. What did you
kids do to her?"
Quatre spoke up. "She asked us to share our projects to the class, and we did.
Say, does her doctor know she mixes drugs? I think she was an alcoholic
before she got this teaching job."
Everyone agreed with him, and the principal just shook his head.
"I don't see what could make her do that. Why don't you show me your
projects?"
End
