Lunatic Parade-108

Written by Gabe "Stone Cold" Ricard

Disclaimer: Nothings mine…not even the concept…so don't sue.

Ah…another glorious Lunatic Parade…due to the fact my computer is now dead…all projects except final fantasy 7: season two and the Tenchi/Washu epic are gone…big disappointment I know but life goes on…take a deep breath and MOVE ON. Let's enjoy!

Lucia: Just play the song Jean

Jean: No!

Lucia: Please? Hiro really wanted you to play him in with that song.

Jean: Only if you send me some pictures

Lucia: Oh okay…I have a full album of them

Jean: ADULT pictures

Lucia: That's fine too…I have some pictures I took just last week!
Jean: Forget it…I'll just play the damn song

Lucia: He wants you to sing too

Jean: Rrrrr…(plays) Sometimes you wanna go…(Screams) WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAMEEEEEE AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAMMEEEEEE!!!

(Hiro appears in his chair)

Hiro: Hello everyone and welcome to…a show…about…THINGS!

Ronfar: Really? I thought this was a show about candy canes

Hiro: Well you thought wrong…you FOOL!

Ronfar: So, what's it about?

Hiro: Smoking the ashes of dead elves! Watch (Takes out a dead elf cigarette and smokes it) mmmmm! This one was one of Snow Whites people!
Ruby: Those were dwarves you moron

Hiro: Hey, don't call me a moron! I'm very bright

Lemina: For a turnip

Hiro: Shut up Klepto-bitch!

Jean: Don't call her a Klepto-bitch!

Lemina: You stay out of my life slut!
Jean: You know your role c-

Ruby: ENOUGH!! Just send out the first guest

Hiro: Fine…tonight we have…Brittany Spears with us…

Leo: At last…

Hiro: Damn…how…did…YOU… get in? I ate your key so I wouldn't have to hear your stupid Tomato/Depression analogies

Leo: I have WICKED, SUPER, GNARLY POWERS!!!

Hiro: I see

Leo: I also cut off one of Ruby's claws as she slept and used it to carve my way in

Ruby: You did…(Looks at her right paw) SON OF A BITCH!!! (Burns Leo to a crisp)

Hiro: (Leans over the desk to scoop up some of the ashes. Rolls it into a cigarette and smokes it) Sweet! Leo tastes like a Sausage

Brittany: Are you guys going to ask me questions?

Ronfar: Are your boobs real?

Brittany: Why don't I come up there and show you…(Smiles)

Ronfar: I can see from here…in the control room

(Nall appears next to Ronfar and whispers in his ear)

Ronfar: With her EYE SOCKET?!

Nall: Yep

Ronfar: Wow…sure…come on up

(Brittany heads up to the control room. Nall is thrown out and Ronfar's monitor goes fuzzy)

Hiro: I wonder what they're doing

Lucia: Playing Clue

Hiro: Ah yes…I…knew that

Ruby: You did not

Hiro: I did too

Ruby: Hiro…let me ask you something

Hiro: Sure

Ruby: Do you know the Muffin Man?

Hiro: Not anymore…(sniffles)

Ruby: (Oblivious) Good…BECAUSE HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU WITH A KNIFE!!)

Hiro: (Turns around to see the Muffin Man) AHHHHHHHHH!!! (Muffin Man leaps onto Hiro and the two fall behind the desk fighting)

Jean: What in gods' name was that all about?

Ruby: I have sources

Jean: uh-huh

Ruby: For instance…I know Paul Reubens

Lucia: EVERYONE knows Paul Reubens

Ruby: Hiro doesn't…bad memories from PeeWee's Playhouse

(Mauri appears)

Mauri: Hi everyone…do you know how hard it is to get here? I don't know why you had to put this building in outer space

Ruby: Oh hey Mauri…here to see Ronfar?

Mauri: Yeah…where is he?

Jean: Upstairs banging Brittany Spears…we also think he's calling her "Mommy"

Mauri: (Laughs) Oh you guys are such kidders…what's that sound?

Lucia: Hiro is engaged in a battle to the death with the Muffin Man

Mauri: Ah…well I'll go see Ronfar (Leaves)

Ruby: I think we better leave

Jean: Good idea for once Ruby

Lucia: What about Hiro?

Ruby: Watch this…HEY MUFFIN MAN!

Muffin Man: (Stops Stabbing Hiro's leg and looks up) Yesssssssss?

Ruby: STARBUCKS!!

Muffin Man: AHHHH! NOOOO!! (Explodes)

Hiro: My leg! (Sobs)

Lucia: (Picks up Hiro and slings him over her back) Now let's go!

(Everyone runs)

Mauri: Knock! Knock! (Let's herself into the control room)

Ronfar: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! (Sees Mauri) Oh…crap

End.

Wasn't that great? Damn right it was…keep and eye open for some more stuff…until then thanks for reading.