OH BROTHER! A NEW KIND OF BIG BROTHER: HARRY POTTER STYLE!

Sir Nick: I am your OH BROTHER! anoucer! Sir Nicholas De Mimsy-Porpington. Welcome to the show! Now whithout further ado, the contestants! Lilly Black! Jezabelle Potter! Cho Diggory! Harry Potter! Tom Riddle! Sirius Black! Remus Lupin! Anne' Peri-Black! Lily Evens-Potter! James Potter! Peter Petigrew! Lee Jordan! Ok contestants to the house!

Vol... er I mean Tom: Hey! Where are we?

Nick: AMERICA! *Smiles cheerily around at the 11 British contestants*

Lilly: Ok.. how come we have dead people here? *looks nerversouly at her mum, Anne'*

Nick: Well, er I don't know, who cares NE way?

Lilly, Harry, & Jez: WE DO!

Nick ingnors the three nineteen-year-olds sudden outburst

Lilly: and how come you said my last name's Black? I told you it's *censored*-Black now! I am *cencored* you know *Harry pulls her into a pasionate kiss*

Thanx for the cencored words it's so mature to hide fate....... NICK!

Nick removes the cencors to reveal, in order, POTTER, MARRIED.

Cho: Hey, Where are we sleeping NE way?

Harry: always the sencible one, Cho? *Cho blushes*

Nick: please place your wands in the purple bag now!

All; place wands in bag

Lilly: to Harry: This is something... No magic, how's Tom to survive?

Harry: to Lilly: I don't know love, but that's not for now, at least we won't be murdered in a usual way.

Jez: Hey Cho! Lilly! We're sharing a room with *result to piece of parchment* Padfoot, Moony And *gasp* WORMTAIL! Uh-oh!

Cho: Someone is NOT coming out in one piece!

Lilly: OOOOOHHHHH Don't tell Daddy!

Tom: Ha! You still call him Daddy and you're Married to Potter! Oh, I'm gonna die laughing!

Lily, James, and Anne': NOT IF WE KILL YOU FIRST! WE HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM!!!!!!!!!

Nick: Ok! Have fun houseguests, and remember no one leaves until Day 51!

Lilly: Cliche'd with Waco! (A/N: The horror the FBI put on Waco's MT. CARMEL lasted 51 days, I call them the 51 days of HELL)

Jez: we're in sunny CA! My homeland!

Tom: Lousy American!

Peter: *In a not-so-squeaky voice* You ************** lay off! You used THE UNFORGIVABLES to many times! You will pay!

Sirius: Youu tell him!

(A/N: Lucious Malfoy and a few other teribible Death Eaters put poor Peter under the Imperious Curse so strongly he was never able to fight it, until found out by a few headstrong teens)

Remus: Stand up for yourself Peter!

Tom: Shut up you lousy Werewolf!

Lilly, Remus & Harry: Who're you calling lousy, Riddle?!?!?

Tom: I.... uuhhh... THE THREE LOUSYEST STUPEDEST WEREWOLVES I EVER MET!!!!

Sirius, James & Peter: WHY YOU LITTLE..... NEVER CALL A MARAUDER LOUSY!!!!!!

Sirius & James: OR THERE CHILDREN!!!!!!!

Harry & Lilly: GO DAD!

*They look at each other quizically, then laugh*

Cho & Lee are too busy making out in the hall to notice the whole thing until Tom runs past shouting like a lunitic

Lee: Raving, barking, mad, the whole lot of them!

Cho nodds and they continue making out.

Lilly: Look at them snog, never seen it get so intense...They're just kissing but still...

Harry: Maybe we'll get lucky and never have to see them at it again for 51 days.

Lilly: yeah, rrrriiiigggghhhhttttttttt......

Meanwhile: the teams/ roommies are as follows:

Team One: Lilly Black, Cho Diggory, Jezabelle Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Petigrew

Team Two: James Potter, Lilly Potter, Anne' Black, Tom Riddle, Lee Jordan, Harry Potter.

In room one:

Lilly: Sirius Black! Get off! *Sirius is in dog form, and knocked Lilly over*

Sirius: *Turns back to human* *Lilly slaps him* Shouldn't have eated all those Peeps, huh? *he asks falling over*

*Remus laughs*

Remus: Never give Padfoot sugar! It's near deadly!

Lilly & Jez & Cho: *Laugh*

Sirius pulls Remus down playfully, who pulls all three girls down too, not to mention Peter. Everyone laughs and someone calls "PILLOW FIGHT" and the games begin!

Room 2:

Tom: Help! Mummy!

Lily & Anne': You, know, we will kill you now, right?

James: Ohhhhh yes! You will pay Moldie Voldie! You will!

Harry & Lee: Raving, Barking Mad! All of you!

Lily & James & Anne': Well duhhhh! We're suposed to be dead!

Nick: Ok, It looks like the roommates are all getting along nicely, lets see the count is in!

WHO DO WE HAVE IN THE OH BROTHER! HOUSE THIS SEASON

3 LUNITICS

1 MURDERER

3 WRONGLY ACCUSED MEN

2 SURVIVORS

3 NOBODYS

THUS CONCLUDES PART ONE