Chapter 2: Just look what happens when you try to blow Zim up




Red and Purple were pissed off. Again.

(Yes, I'm well aware that this is how my last chapter started.)
Fortunately for me there is no doubt as to why they were pissed off this time. Zim was broadcasting in another update on his "mission."

"Shudder noises, Shudder noises," said Red. (He didn't actually say "Shudder noise," its just that I don't know to make shudder noises on paper.)
"Hey Red, why do you keep saying "shudder noises?"," said Purple (And strange as that past sentence looks, the quotation and periods are correct, so don't bitch at me) "Its really annoying."
"Well, mostly because our dumbass author doesn't know how to make shudder noises on paper," said Red (dammit.) "But also because Zim is broadcasting in another message."
Purple Shuddered.
The screen that the super annoying Zim would be broadcasting in flickered, and then that insane little face that Red secretly had nightmares about popped up on the screen.
"Helllllllllooooo, Red and Purple sirs!" Zim said in a suspiciously Dennis the menace-like voice.
"Hello, Zim" said Red and Purple in voices who's excitement level would have been off the scale-something like negative 7, I believe.
"Good news, Sirs!" said Zim, holding a piece of paper in his hand. "I have discovered the Universal coordinates of the planet I'm on!"
Red and Purple looked at each other. Zim had just given them a perfect chance to destroy him.
Red and Purple had, on their ship, their own private Planet Vaporizer. It could destroy planets and all its inhabitants with a massive unoriginal green laser. Red and Purple would have used it on Zim a long time ago, but you must know the Universal coordinates of the planet, or you would just blow up random orbiting orbs (which is something Red and Purple did all the time.)
"Good Job, soldier!" shouted Red in glee. "Tell them to us now!"
Purple went over to the computer and began typing in the coordinates as Zim read them off.
"Twenty five point five degrees vootnig..." Zim began. He didn't finish, because at that moment, blue goo began dripping from one of the vents on the ship, oblivious to Red and Purple. "Ah...mmmm..." Zim trailed off.
"Yes, yes, continue, soldier," said Purple, looking at the computer.
"Yes, do continue," said Red.
"Guh...Guh...Guh..." said Zim.
"I love this show," said Gir, referring to the monkey that had replaced the tallest on Zims viewscreen.
"Give me that!" said Zim, snatching a remote control out of Gir's hand. He pressed a button, and the tallest appeared on the screen again. As did the blue goo, which had reached the floor at this time and was crawling towards Purple.
"Zim?" said Red with a quizzical look on his face.
"My tallest, look out!" shouted Zim, pointing a useless finger at the blue goo.
Red whipped his head around, and saw the blue goo. "In the name of the all frying Grease monkey!" he shouted. "Can you just imagine what kind of stain that goo will make on the carpet?"
"We don't have any carpets," said Purple.
"Janitor! JANITOR!" shouted Red.
The main doors to the control room opened up, revealing...more blue goo. It must have gelled, because it stayed in place. Out of this blue goo walked MUTATED JANITOR
Dun dun dun....
Out of his back sprouted six insect legs which walked along the ceiling. Janitor hung down from those. The only other major difference was that his eyes were blue and his hands were clawed.
Red and Purple gasped. Zim screamed.
"I am here to serve, my tallest," said Janitor.
Red and Purple heaved a sigh of relief. "That's good," said Red. "For a minute there we thought that you were possessed by some brain worms or something.
"I am," said Janitor. "I was just being sarcastic before."
"Oh," said Red.
Janitor then opened his mouth, and out of it poured many many tiny centipede bugs, which wound their way towards Red and Purple. One pressed the "end transmission" button.
"End of transmission" said Zims viewscreen.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" said Zim, going into a dead faint.
"I love this show," said Gir, referring to the monkey on the viewscreen.

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